Will you be christening your baby?...

[xpatchx]

So, some of you may have read my thread about the lady who was going to be my LO's godmother, and how horrible and two faced she's turned out.

Now, I am Christian through my mothers choice as a child. I do not go to mass, I swear like a trucker, I've lied, I don't help homeless guys by giving them change and I do not pray regularly, but I do believe in a "God".

I always wanted to Christen my baby, and had planned to do so up till now. I know I have to go to mass regularly before the christening, but that just seems like a really selfish thing to do, to suddenly go to mass now, and after the christening I know I won't end up going at all. And when I asked my Grandfather in law about what our local churches rules are on crhsitening (how long I have to attend mass) he got a bit mad that I didn't go now. Surely he should just be happy I'm considering pushing Amelia in that direction?.. Gah!

I don't want to do it "just for show" as it would be small, just our family, but I have always felt I should do it, but how can I since I won't be teaching her to follow God, or go to mass, I feel I should just forget it.

I just found out my foster father has stomach cancer, and I'm starting to feel a bit angry at "god" and whoever else I can blame. I feel wrong to christen Amelia when I'm fighting my own feelings about it all.

What are you doing, compared to your religion/beliefs? Are you christening yours even if you don't believe? Do you believe but aren't going to christen?
Am I the only one who believes but doens't want to go to chruch to show this?

Helllpp! x

 

[sparkle_bump]

I've always believed that you don't have to go to church in order to prove that you believe in god. I'm having Jacob christened because I believe and have started to go back to church because of it. I had stopped around the same time that I started highschool I think but am enjoying the community feel.

My only gripe is that I'm a methodist and OH is catholic so I've decided to christen LO catholic but OH is reluctant to come to church with me, which I feel is hypocritical a little seeing as he's the one who wanted LO to be catholic.

You don't have to christen your LO if you don't want to, no-one will judge you if you don't. If you're not sure, why don't you go to church a few times to see how you feel.

 

[xpatchx]

I want to christen her, as I feel that I want her to follow the way I was brought up to believe, because I do believe in a god, but I don't want to go to church to prove that. I don't enjoy church at all. I know it's not supposed to be "fun" but to sit and listen to someone read out of a book isn't something I enjoy. I would rather believe in my own way, which seems a bit like I'm starting my own religion! Lol
I want to Christen her, and I'm hoping I still will, but I feel awful just going to church for the allotted time because I "have" to.
I also know that a lot of Catholic schools around here won't take someone who isn't baptised/christened and I was only ever in catholic schools and I loved it. I enjoyed RE profusely and I want Amelia to have that chance.

 

[Dragonfly]

Nope my sons not christened much to my families annoyance. We arnt religious at all and dont think i should stand there and lie that I am to get him christened when I dont believe? Though it has caused a lot of problems in my family who all claim to be catholic and never go to church or do anything its really just to get your kid in to school here as there arnt mixed ones , we have one mixed primary school which i will send him to the secondary schools you have to be christened for. Feels like blackmail that. I want my son to see all religions not just the one and learn about them all, except people have different beliefs and if he wants he can choose one. My other half is not catholic either .

 

[MandaAnda]

Jack was christened C of E, although neither DH or I were brought up C of E (other Christian religions). We didn't have to go to church beforehand either. The main reason the vicar gave at the christening is so Jack can be raised as a Christian, not necessarily in a specific religion, and that us and his godparents will help to do that. And that's exactly what I'd wanted, as I feel that Christianity gives you a good moral foundation; and we do believe in God.

 

[Dragonfly]

I want to christen her, as I feel that I want her to follow the way I was brought up to believe, because I do believe in a god, but I don't want to go to church to prove that. I don't enjoy church at all. I know it's not supposed to be "fun" but to sit and listen to someone read out of a book isn't something I enjoy. I would rather believe in my own way, which seems a bit like I'm starting my own religion! Lol
I want to Christen her, and I'm hoping I still will, but I feel awful just going to church for the allotted time because I "have" to.
I also know that a lot of Catholic schools around here won't take someone who isn't baptised/christened and I was only ever in catholic schools and I loved it. I enjoyed RE profusely and I want Amelia to have that chance.

It really does just biol down to your belief in god and you have it so why not? not many like sitting in a church and well as I say standing in a church makes you not more christen than sitting in a garage makes you a car.

 

[xpatchx]

Thanks everyone. I think we might still go ahead with it. Religions always confused me. I believe in a "God", but then so does EVERY religion, so I'm a bit up and down about it all.
Gah it's all so confusing. AND everyone's kind of expecting us too, although my MIL is pissed I'm doing it my way instea dof C of E

 

[Dragonfly]

but thats all religion is, your belief, not what someone else tells you. The foundation is there.

 

[sparkle_bump]

I only stepped foot back into church this year because I knew that I wanted to christen Jacob and I wanted to give him the chance to make certain decisions. I'm glad I did. I am also going to introduce him to different religions too, I did want one of my friends who is hindu to be a godparent as well but obviously couldn't because the church won't allow it but I'm glad that he'll be open to other views and will prob make him unofficial godfather anyway.

patch don't forget that you can teach Amelia without going to church. You can get bible stories for children, and just explain to her the significance of the christian holidays when they come about each year. If you want her to have interaction with other children in church, you could always see if you could send her to sunday school without having to attend church yourself.

 

[Sazzoire]

I've just booked Lucy's Christening.... Me and hubby are not active church-goers but we both 'believe'.... We aren't required to go to church in the run up to the Christening... I feel that would be a tad hypocritical. I just want to start LO in the right direction but ultimately, she will make her own decisions when she grows up.

xx

 

[Gingerspice]

I do believe you don't have to go to church to be a christian, but being a christian is more than whether you went to sunday school as a child, or christened yourself - it is an active relationship with God.

However, I do enjoy church as I go to a supportive, active, lively, modern church, so I don't consider it a thing of not going, because its isn't boring and you don't just sit and get talked at by someone at the front, so for me being a christian is a part of my christian life so I would never not go to a church.

Part of a christening is that your church family stands and states they will help to support you as a family and help teach your child in their faith-if you're not actively in a church this is then slightly problematic as the church 'family' will not even know you or your child.

I can understand people wanting to have a celebration for their new arrival, but I do find it strange that people opt for a christening rather than a naming ceremony if they themselves have no active faith.

 

[Terrilea]

We're getting Ruby christened on Sunday, we're both catholic but we don't go to church although we do 'believe'. It is mainly for our parents/grandparents benefit as i know it means alot to them that she's christened.
We are having a big hall dj, hot & cold buffet etc etc and it's going to be quite a big occassion we are seeing it as something to celebrate her being born and so distant family and friends we haven't seen in a while can celebrate her life and all get together. I know that it sounds bad as it should really be for religious purposes but i don't see the harm in it. Although it has caused alot of stress getting everything together and it has cost a small fortune we can't wait, plus she looks soooo cute in her little white dress she looks like she's getting married haha x x x x

 

[LankyDoodle]

Yes I am having her Baptised. It is important to us. We are not planning a big party and only family and godparents will be invited.

Something that struck me from your post - you are angry with God. If you are angry with God then yes you do believe, but evenso you have a right to have A christened.

 

[cupcake23]

Im getting M baptised, I actually enjoy going church (catholic) when I do go..... Ive just been so lazy recently.....

I have a weird relationship with God, I don't believe you have to go to church every week, I don't believe in certain aspects of catholic teachings and I will not obey my husband because he is a MAN.

But God knows what he was doing when he gave me life, he knows that I'm not evil and always strive to do right, he gives me comfort, so I feel we have a good relationship (I sound crazy)

I cant wait to get her baptised, I truly believe my children are a blessing so I cant wait for them to be welcomed by the church.

If you believe then christen her, you have the right.x.

 

[Jolinar]

We're not having a christening, neither of us are huge fans of organised religon tbh. Nic can decide when he's older what faith he wants to follow. I don't know much about christening but I do know that doing it because someone else wants you to or "expects" it is wrong if you yourself do not feel it's something you want to do.

Personally I don't think you should have to attend church to get a christening for your child. Why not pop along to your local church and have a chat with the priest? I'm sure they'd be able to offer some insights with all that's going on in your life

 

[Natnee]

Belle won't be christened, we're not religious at all, although I was christened as a baby, i think it was more common 34 years ago! But I have never been a churchgoer or brought up in a religious house. I think it was my grandad that was the most religious in our family.

Patch you obviously do have a belief, and I think perhaps to think whether you want to have her christened as a baby or allow her to make the choice when she's older. What I am trying to say is she growing fast and won't be a baby for long! You don't want to regret not having it done as a baby.

 

[Seity]

My husband and I were both raised Catholic, but left the church because we don't agree with a lot of the churches beliefs. We still believe there's a god, but dislike the man made religions. Since we don't plan to raise our boy according to any particular faith, we won't be getting him baptized as we feel it would be hypocritical on our part to do so. His parents won't mind, but mine will make a big stink, but he's our child to raise and I won't do anything just to make someone else happy.

 

[venusrockstar]

No. My hubby and I decided not to have our baby christened. Neither of us are overly religious. He is Catholic and I am United....rather than choose one, we decided that we want our child to be able to choose their own religion when they are older and we don't want to force them into a specific one. I don't believe you have to go to church to be religious and we will teach our baby all the morals, values, etc they need..and teach them about all of the religions out there.

 

[Dragonfly]

No. My hubby and I decided not to have our baby christened. Neither of us are overly religious. He is Catholic and I am United....rather than choose one, we decided that we want our child to be able to choose their own religion when they are older and we don't want to force them into a specific one. I don't believe you have to go to church to be religious and we will teach our baby all the morals, values, etc they need..and teach them about all of the religions out there.

Thats exactly how we feel. I dont think you need religion to learn morals though, although its another way of teaching and not wrong just people who arnt religious arnt immoral at the same time.

 

[PepsiChic]

i dont follow a faith persay but i am open minded. my husband is completely closed to religious beliefs.

We wont be christening our son, my theory is - i didnt get him circumsized, i'll let him decide when hes old. Nor will i choose his faith and beliefs for him, when he can understand about it, he can choose for himself what he wishes to do.