wish my heart would catch up with my head!

gemsio

mum of Annabelle
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Hi guys, Hope everyone is doin ok.
I have gone throuhg all the emotions possible, first was deep upset and crying, then i got really angry and thought it would totally consume me.
now i'm just really really low, i feel so sad.
I desperately want to start trying for a baby again, but my husband is saying he wants to wait a while so we can grieve properly, (i m/c on xmas day 08) and put this behind us. my head tells me he is right, but my heart won't quite listen to what my head is doing!
i feel totally heartbroken- and am scared that i am going to start resenting my hubby for making me wait, i keep having to tell myself he is right and he has both our interests at heart- but it doesn't stop me hurting.
does anyone has any advice on how to deal with me and hubby being in totally different places at the mo?
 
Have you talked to him.. like tell him the exact thing you are telling us.. My hubby is a great listener.. and when I actually sit him down and explain how Im feeling.. he then understands.

Tell him you arent trying to replace your baby.. but that you long for the feeling of having a baby in your arms - the sooner the better!

Im sorry for your loss :hugs:
 
:hugs: Give your heart some time, and both of you some time. I think you should talk about your feelings, and know that we do grieve at our own pace. If he can't come to terms with trying soon, use the time to better prepare yourself for when you guys do try again. I know it is hard to wait, waiting has been my theme for the past few months, but this to shall pass.
 
I def think you should talk to him. He might be wanting to wait because he is grieving too. Men keep very quiet, but they are often hurting inside too. I TOTALLY understand your feeling of wanting to start ttc as soon as possible, but I also think it's important for you both to be ready. :hugs:

Or he could be trying to protect you and see you stronger before trying again. Maybe he thinks that if you did mc again you would need to be stronger to cope with it?

Whatever the reason, I think you need an open and honest chat with him and find out why he wants to wait. It'd also give you chance to explain why you want to try again asap.

Good luck hun :hug:
 
Im so sorry to hear about your loss.It must be so hard my heart goes out to you x x x x

:hugs:
 
Hi guys, i had a very long chat with my hubby the other night, there were alot of tears from both of us, and I now understand where he is coming from-he's been worried about me, and if we did fall pregnant now whether mentally at the moment i could cope if i mc again, and in a word the answer is NO. he has made me realise i need more time, and i am happy with that. i feel alot more positive now,thanks for your advice. much love.xxxxx
 
gemsio, I'm so glad you chatted with your DH. I think men are funny creatures! They find it so hard to open up, my hubby is definitely the strong silent type. It sounds like you've made the decision together, and that's undoubtedly the best way. Hopefully before long, when you're emotionally stronger, you'll both feel like you can try again, but only when you're both ready x x x
 

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