Worried about coping with newborn & toddler - anyone else?

[honeysuede]

Hi ladies
I am due end of Feb with DS2 & my son is 27 months old. He is a good, loving little boy who is getting excited about the baby bless him. The thing is, he is still no closer to toilet training, he sleeps from 8-6.30-7 and usually wakes once in the night but no always & he won't fall asleep unless I sit in the room for 15 mins which is fine at the moment but I am having panics about when the new litte one arrives, how will he be then sleep wise? how will it all work? and he can walk without his buggy but tends to run off so I am scared about managing taking the 2 out shopping etc. I know I am over worrying but it;s all new to me I am just nervous I will get it wrong somehow, silly I know. Anyone else feel similar?
xx

 

[stephj25]

I'm hoping everything is going to fall into place. Probably wishful thinking but my concerns are a little different.
My DD is 32 months old, she sleeps fine through the night and is very well behaved. My concerns are that she is going to have disturbed sleep and turn into a devil child! also hope she doesn't get jealous
I'm going to get a buggy board I think otherwise it will take me forever to get to the shops

 

[honeysuede]

Yes that's what I worry about too! having the routine messed with mixed with jealousy might make the terrible 2s even worse somehow. Oooh a buggy board, that's a good idea, I wonder if I can get one for mine. Thanks xx

 

[Genevevex]

I'm worried about this, too! Worried that my son will be jealous of the new baby. Worried that I won't be able to give him all the loves and attention he needs. Worried about so many things. But hoping and praying that everything just falls into place.

I'm going to try and get a "sit and stand" stroller for outings. So both of the kids can ride in it at one time. Hopefully that will solve the problem of the toddler running off?

I'm also hoping that the baby will sleep well enough so that I can put her down a little bit before the toddler's bedtime, that way his bedtime routine isn't disturbed too much. Here's hoping.

 

[honeysuede]

I guess the common theme here is to hope & pray it all falls into place! haha. Time will tell. Good luck ladies xxx

 

[gemxgem]

I'm worried too! My son is nearly 2 and I'm due in 3 weeks. He's hit the terrible twos the last few weeks and I'm worried about how I'll cope with a newborn and temper tantrums!

I keep talking to max about his new baby brother and if he's going to help mummy look after him change nappies etc and he smiles although I don't think he knows what I'm on about half the time.

My friend had 2 girls similar in age to my 2 and she said that she was always worried too about finding time to spend with the older one and them feeling left out but it's actually the other way around, it's the toddler that seemed to get all the attention! She also said that eventually the older one can't remember life without their younger sibling and it melts her heart when they hold hands and cuddle, now she says it's actually easier as they keep each other company and play together

 

[honeysuede]

Aww that's lovely and I guess it;s true about the older one not remembering life without the other one, I am 2 years older than my sister and can't remember her not being there. I think it's like everything in life, it will find a way of working xx

 

[petitpas]

Gem, my friends and family also have the experience that the toddler gets all the attention and the new baby is almost neglected. On the other hand, the new baby gets so much from having an older sibling so it worked out well.

My son is currently sleeping with me. I expect that when the new baby comes I'll have her in the co-sleeper on one side and ds in the middle of the bed behind me. It'll work out somehow... Although I'm not sure how dh will get his sleep?

Honey, do you know those little animal rucksacks with reins on them? Could that work to keep your toddler close while out and about?

 

[gemxgem]

Yes, I can't remember life without my brother either, it will be crazy for a while but then everything will just fit and new routines will fall into place.

I just keep trying to get my son involved in things like when I was hanging babies clothes on the dryer he was helping and I kept saying things like 'aren't u a good big brother' etc.

My partner has 2 older boys 10 and 13 from a previous marriage and max absolutely adores them, he gets so upset when they go home. Now he'll have his permanent playmate.

It's so scary though isn't it?! Dreading the sleepless nights and a toddler too, just going to ask for a lot of help from family etc x

 

[gemxgem]

Max used to co sleep but doesn't anymore although that might change if he gets woken up in the night!

Max has one of those animal rucksacks, it's called goldbug reins, takes them a bit to get used to but max likes his now.

 

[Hellymay83]

My dd1 is 3 years and 4 months and dd2 is 2 weeks, I had the same worries but so far I've found it easy with a new born and pre schooler, I'm tired. Don't get me wrong, my dd1 doesn't nap anymore during the day so I can't catch up on my sleep unless dh gives me a break, my dd1 is still more had work than my new born just because she's so demanding with everything she wants, dd2 just eats, sleeps and poos so I can kind of just leave her in her Moses basket and get on with other stuff, guessing it will be harder as she gets more active and awake during the day... The washing however, that's taking some coping lol, I just can't seem to get on top of it haha..

 

[calm81]

My main concerns have been daily errands that I must do. Right now, having to get my son in and out of his car seat just to walk in the convenience store for a gallon of milk is daunting. I'm wondering how I will manage my grocery shopping with two kids in car seats and lugging one car seat in one hand while holding my 3 year old in the other to walk from parking lot to shopping cart inside the store. Then getting the groceries inside the home since I refuse to leave either child in the house alone while I collect the bags. Another is how long it will take to leave the house just to go to the post office. Getting all three of us dressed and diaper bags packed, car seats loaded to pick up stamps.

By the time my hubby gets home, most places I need to go to are closed so I can't ask him to sit with the kiddies. The only thing that's keeping me positive about this, is thinking about all the single moms out there with more than two kids that do it on their own, I applaud them.

I know my concerns seem petty, but picture it rainy out and you're carrying an infant carrier seat in one hand while holding a 3 year old in the other running to get inside the store. No hands free to hold umbrella and can't wait for rain to stop with hungry kids and diapers needed to be bought. My arms will look like popeyes!

 

[gemxgem]

Know what u mean calm81!

Lol to the Popeye arm comment! My arms already look like Jodie marsh's when I tense them so god knows what they'll be like after 2!

Hopefully your 3 year old will help u out a little? My midwife was saying that once their siblings arrive they become more grown up and helpful, hmmm I wonder if that's true or she was trying to make me feel better, but we live in hope!

 

[petitpas]

Calm, is there any way you can order groceries online? It helped me out a lot when ds was born and I've been getting back into the habit again recently since I'm not so mobile anymore.

 

[honeysuede]

I am glad I am not aloe worrying about these things - and the more I read the responses the more I feel it will somehow work out (has to!)
And the whole going shopping with 2 of them scares me too! but I agree that shopping online is a good way to go for the bulk of it. They won't be little forever and hopefully they will become helpful with age I know my Jack always wants to help out with his little 4 month old cousin - too much so! he gets inbetween me or my sister & the baby & insists on giving him wipes & cuddles & storking him if he cries. It's adorable and I am hoping he is similar with his little brother. We have chosen a name so we say that to Jack & pat my tummy & he gives it a kiss and cuddle & says the name now so I think he *might* be getting the idea but who knows
xxxx

 

[Cattia]

My DD was 16 months old when my DS was born. It's hard at first but you will manage just fine and you'll find new routines and new ways of doing things. The first few times I went out with the two of them I was a nervous wreck but I soon figured out routines that worked for us. I live near town and found it easier to walk places with the double buggy rather than drive as I didn't have the hassle of getting them both in and out of the car. I always made sure I fed my son before we left the house so we are less likely to have to stop for a feed, and I always had plenty of snacks for DD in case I did need to stop and feed him. The thing I found hardest was that I was first in my group of friends to have a second so whilst my friends were just thinking about one child I was juggling two wherever we went! Now aged three and five they are the best of friends, now I have the same sort of worries about introducing number three into the mix and wondering how they will both take to her!

 

[katestar53]

My little boy will be 2.4 years when this one comes in March. I am nervous but friends have told me that the newborn will slot into the toddlers routine so not too bad at first. I'm more worried for when the little one becomes mobile!