Worried about losing job...

[esst]

I just started a new job almost two weeks ago. I was nine weeks along on my first day. I chose not to reveal the pregnancy as it was very early in my mind and I was uncomfortable telling a random person I was pregnant before my own mother.

This is unfamiliar territory for me. When I worked during my last pregnancy, the job was temporary and I was five months along and let them know in the interview. It could've been permanent, but not enough pay/benefits/hours to justify - would've been PAYING money after daycare. It also worked out well that I was due during their slow period of time.

My boss and both direct co-workers all have two kids. I haven't even revealed the pregnancy to family yet. I'm waiting until after the NT scan on the 23rd. I (to me) look pregnant but it is slightly easier to hide since family knows about my diastasis recti and I lost enough weight prior to pregnancy to look essentially "back to normal". I did "pop" earlier as this is my 2nd pregnancy too.

I still workout (Zumba/Zumba Toning) twice a week without issue. My job is primarily administrative in an office setting but there is bending/lifting/etc involved that eventually will be a physical problem for me. The job is also in retail which means it follows that schedule.

I'm leaning towards a scheduled c-section which would put baby's birth date around November 4th if the midwife has her dates correct. Unfortunately this also means if I take the 8 weeks of maternity leave granted in my state to a c-section birth, I will miss all of November and December which is US Thanksgiving, "Black Friday" and Christmas. These are SUPER busy times for my work and I would feel terrible leaving my co-workers to pick up the pieces. I'm not about to leave a week or month old baby with my MIL despite how good she is with my son. I want the same time I had with him, but I enjoy working too and had been looking for work since he was a few months old with few leads.

However, I'm not willing to prioritize a $10/hr part time job over a child. I can't think of any type of job where I would put it above my child at all, actually. This makes me feel guilty for accepting the position but everyone I work with is very family-oriented and I want to hope that they'd be accepting and understanding of it, not just act as such and then talk about me behind my back. I've worked in a couple toxic environments and I've not been there long enough to really judge it yet.

I'm extremely concerned once I reveal the pregnancy, they will find a reason to terminate me because they will see I will essentially be unavailable during their busiest time. The extra income is nice but we can manage on just DH's if need be.

Is anyone else in the same boat?

 

[ValentinesGal]

I hope they're understanding. It's illegal for them to discriminate or terminate someone because they're pregnant. Most employers also have to provide you with up to 6 weeks of non-FMLA leave for the birth of your baby. Just be careful if your doctor puts you on restrictions because that may be enough that an employer says that you aren't able to fulfill your job and could let you go. I'd think that if your company did this I wouldn't sweat it because you said your family could survive and I sure wouldn't want to work for a company like that. Most employers are willing to accommodate people who are pregnant the best they can, but would you really want to work for someone who would 'find' a way to terminate you just because your pregnant? Good luck to you!

 

[zilla]

Im starting a new job on tuesday and im 7 weeks pregnant.
They don't know yet, although ive been suffering from nausea to the point where I can barely function normally some days, so I may tell them at the end of my first week when I'll be 8 weeks. Id rather not tell them on my first day, I also dont want to wait till 12 weeks and they think that I haven't been performing well due to being unenthusiastic or lazy.
I'll be in my 3 month probation period when I tell them, im sure they'll be fine but im still going to pay extra attention to my work so they can't find a reason to sack me.
I've also got my booking appointment the 2nd week im there so no idea how I'm going to explain that to them as ill need at least an hour off in the middle of the day.

 

[Rickles]

No decent employer would "look for reasons" to sack you - that's illegal and counter productive.

I've managed pregnant women and generally they are more diligent and hard working because of their condition and wanting to perform well and provide for their baby.

Yes - you will need a busy period off - but that is also a holiday season where there are lots of casual workers looking for employment / parents wishing to boost their incomes for Xmas presents etc.

The key thing is your employer has lots of time to prepare for your absence, and will no doubt like you back. It's harsh but true, people get sick, hit by buses, have nervous breakdowns... the world keeps turning and companies cope.

It's not ideal - but it happens every day!!

xxxx

 

[esst]

Thanks ladies. You are right, I wouldn't want to work somewhere that would find a reason to get rid of someone because of a pregnancy. My main concern I guess is nasty comments as I get further along about leaving them in the lurch. I know I'm projecting a past working situation at an old job onto them as prior coworkers absolutely would've said that stuff. I hate the unknown and I'm planning on telling them around week 14.

 

[Dark_Star]

My contract is up in August, at which time I will be 5 months and showing.
I am terrified that they will not offer me a permanent position at that time. Sure, they aren't allowed to do it specifically because of my maternity status but I'm sure they could blame it on performance if they wanted to.

 

[sunnyday123]

I'm in a similar boat I'm pregnant and start my new job end of this month.. I'll be 12 weeks. I'm scared telling them in case they think I'm being deceitful xxx

 

[zilla]

I'm in a similar boat I'm pregnant and start my new job end of this month.. I'll be 12 weeks. I'm scared telling them in case they think I'm being deceitful xxx

When are you going to tell them?
I'm thnking about telling them at the end of my first week, so they don't have time to figure it out themselves.
In a way I hope they value my honesty about it!

 

[esst]

I think a few people might suspect it but nobody's bothered to ask me. I don't really look like I'm showing because of the business formal clothes we are required to wear - suit jackets help cover a belly pretty well. I know where the little one is sitting right now so I know that the majority of my belly is bloat and my diastasis recti.

I told DH I wanted to tell around 14 weeks because I'd be far enough along to feel comfortable telling but it would be early enough to help make plans for my departure.

 

[Wtbam]

I would just like to add my thoughts from an employers point of view.

I, with my family, run a small business and last year we employed a full time lady. She did not disclose the fact she was pregnant despite me explaining at the interview how important it was that she was able to commit to the job (I was referring to anything not just maternity).

Now, she gets 12 months maternity leave, and we have to pay an extra member of staff to cover (plus training). She is currently off sick and has been for the last six weeks - but we have to pay her sick leave. She is entitled to a full 28 days holiday pay for this year despite going on leave, most of which she has taken since january, leaving us very short staffed. We have to give her paid time off to go to scans/parenting and ante-natal classes. We have to hold her job open for her for 12 months. When she is actually in work, she isn't performing at all, but we can't dismiss her like we would any other member of staff who was taking all this time off (she just doesn't bother coming in when she doesn't feel like it, before she took sick leave) or not doing their work.

I'm not saying you are like this at all but I just wanted to play devils advocate and try to show you the other side of the coin. We are a small business and this girl has practically crippled us because she was deliberarely deceitful about her pregnancy and then taking full advantage of all the benefits she is entitled to without a single thought for what she is doing to us as a company. We work as a very close team and the rest of us are having the extra pressure of trying to take up the slack (and I really don't need the stress right now!)

 

[LMC2405]

I think wtmbam is being slightly unfair in calling a lady deceitful for not disclosing a pregnancy in an interview. No one should be forced to tell people earlier than they would like, when no one knows how a pregnancy will progress. I have just started a new job and am 12 weeks pregnant with a pregnancy that we didn't plan. I intend telling my employer next week if all goes well at my scan. I was only 5 weeks pregnant at my interview and with a history of missed miscarriage at 14 weeks and a molar pregnancy, there was frankly no way on this earth I was telling a complete stranger that I was pregnant at that stage. I do feel guilty that I may now have to tell them that I'll be going off work in about 6 months but I also know that I'm not entitled to any maternity benefits from them as I won't have been there long enough to get smp.

 

[Anaconda]

I completely agree with the above comment!

I'm in a position where I've been looking for a job and two people have called me wanting to interview me but the minute they found out I was pregnant they no longer wanted me. They chalk it up as "you're not qualified." Then why call being all interested in me?

You know, us pregnant people need to work to. We need to support our children some way. You gotta do what you gotta do, and if that means no telling your work your pregnant until further along I don't see the problem.

I was being forthcoming to those two people and they discriminated against me.

I've got an interview today and I won't be telling them anything. I'm sick of the discrimination, I had to leave my other job unexpectedly, and need to work immediately.

 

[Anaconda]

I completely agree with the above comment!

I'm in a position where I've been looking for a job and two people have called me wanting to interview me but the minute they found out I was pregnant they no longer wanted me. They chalk it up as "you're not qualified." Then why call being all interested in me?

You know, us pregnant people need to work to. We need to support our children some way. You gotta do what you gotta do, and if that means no telling your work your pregnant until further along I don't see the problem.

I was being forthcoming to those two people and they discriminated against me.

I've got an interview today and I won't be telling them anything. I'm sick of the discrimination, I had to leave my other job unexpectedly, and need to work immediately.

 

[zilla]

I would just like to add my thoughts from an employers point of view.

I, with my family, run a small business and last year we employed a full time lady. She did not disclose the fact she was pregnant despite me explaining at the interview how important it was that she was able to commit to the job (I was referring to anything not just maternity).

Now, she gets 12 months maternity leave, and we have to pay an extra member of staff to cover (plus training). She is currently off sick and has been for the last six weeks - but we have to pay her sick leave. She is entitled to a full 28 days holiday pay for this year despite going on leave, most of which she has taken since january, leaving us very short staffed. We have to give her paid time off to go to scans/parenting and ante-natal classes. We have to hold her job open for her for 12 months. When she is actually in work, she isn't performing at all, but we can't dismiss her like we would any other member of staff who was taking all this time off (she just doesn't bother coming in when she doesn't feel like it, before she took sick leave) or not doing their work.

I'm not saying you are like this at all but I just wanted to play devils advocate and try to show you the other side of the coin. We are a small business and this girl has practically crippled us because she was deliberarely deceitful about her pregnancy and then taking full advantage of all the benefits she is entitled to without a single thought for what she is doing to us as a company. We work as a very close team and the rest of us are having the extra pressure of trying to take up the slack (and I really don't need the stress right now!)

I assume you're also going to require time off for scans, midwife appointments etc? And that you're going to take maternity leave, and require someone to be hired to cover your position?
What about if you became ill and unable to work in the meantime?
Will you still take your holiday leave you're entitled to, around your leave?

Or do you think you're entitled to the above because you run the company and are more important than those underneath you?

 

[liverpoolbaby]

I too MIGHT be in a similar situation soon.
I had an interview last week, I find out on Mon/Tuesday if I get the job which I am almost confident I have got the position as a received excellent feedback and was told I am the highest Candidate.

HOWEVER... I am 5wks this week, if I get the job and I start it will be when I am then 7/8wks. I also am scared they will get rid after the 3mth probabtion.



At the end of the day myself and these other ladies are trying to provide for our unborn babies, finding a job and being successful is not a bad thing to do AT ALL!! I also don't agree that you should have to tell a complete stranger your situation.

Your pregnant NOT ill.

Goodluck with the job girls

 

[zilla]

I too MIGHT be in a similar situation soon.
I had an interview last week, I find out on Mon/Tuesday if I get the job which I am almost confident I have got the position as a received excellent feedback and was told I am the highest Candidate.

HOWEVER... I am 5wks this week, if I get the job and I start it will be when I am then 7/8wks. I also am scared they will get rid after the 3mth probabtion.



At the end of the day myself and these other ladies are trying to provide for our unborn babies, finding a job and being successful is not a bad thing to do AT ALL!! I also don't agree that you should have to tell a complete stranger your situation.

Your pregnant NOT ill.

Goodluck with the job girls

Good luck to you too! Xxx

 

[Anaconda]

Hey, guess what... I didn't tell them I'm pregnant at my interview and I was hired.

I wouldn't have gotten my position if I had said anything. I'm going to tell them eventually, but for now, I'm not telling someone something so personal when something can happen (knock on wood it doesn't) which would mean my not being hired was for nothing.

I understand what the company then has to do, but it's like, there is always going to be someone who will need a job when I leave work to take care of my baby. I'm in a position where not only do I need to save for this baby but I still have another growing child to take care of! I'm not going to let her starve because a company can't bother with a pregnant women!

 

[Wtbam]

Sorry, I don't mean to cause offence, and I know this is a very controversial topic. I didn't make something clear. Before we offered this lady the job, I clearly explained to her what the position involved, and the time scales. I explained to her that if she felt that therr was anything that she felt that might interfere with her ability to complete those tasks, she should not accept the job.

I was completely honest with her, as we could not (and cannot) afford to employ her, and then her to go on leave and have to pay her replacement too. THis is why I feel she was deceitful, because I explained our position truthfully and she chose to ignore it and accept the job knowing she wouldn't be able to fulfil it.

I understand that people need to provide for their camily and their unborn child, but this lady seems to know the system and is using that to her full advantage. Is that really fair on a small employer just trying to get by?

And for your information, my situation is entirely different as I have a desk based job which I can (hopefully all being well) continue until late into my pregnancy, then I can continue from at home. Anything I cannot do can be absorbed by my mother with no great impact to the business. This was something I considered before I started TTC.

 

[esst]

This is not a small business and my position is actually rotating with two other women (all part time). They survived without me for months, and they managed with two people for months before that.

I am entitled to, at the very most, short term disability pay for 8 weeks. If the baby comes before his or her due date, I may not even get that. I am entitled to 8 weeks unpaid leave though, but they don't have to hold my job for me as I will not have been there a year.

I am in the US, and to fire someone because they are out for medical reasons *provided they have been there an allotted number of hours* is against the law, pregnancy or not. I would not fall under that law and they could get rid of me because of no reason at all right after I disclose. I've been looking for work since my son was months old and FINALLY got an interview. As I said to the family we told this past weekend, the pregnancy was planned, the job was not. They'd actually cancelled an interview on me the month before we decided to NTNP and I'd given up on finding work at that point.

My job is a desk job like yours and anything I do can easily be done by one of the two people in my position or the supervisor who did my job for years. I don't expect them to do my job until I'm actually out should they continue to employ me because I've managed to do it so far without issue. I have scheduled my appointments around my work schedule and thankfully had no illness or emergency runs to the restroom that have impacted me at all this time around.

I apologize if this is a sensitive topic to you because of the situation you find yourself in. Had I been further along, I absolutely would have let them know. I was only 9 weeks pregnant at the interview and did not feel comfortable disclosing that fact as I've said in other posts. I worked a temp job at a small business with my son at 5 months pregnant to right before his birth and let them know during the interview that I was pregnant and was hired. I do think if she was far enough along to be comfortable disclosing, she should have told you, especially if it was stated in the interview that anything that would cause her to be unavailable would be a problem.

The money I am earning for this job is going to help us become less "upside down" on our car loan so that when we trade it in for the larger vehicle we need for a family of four, we won't have to roll over a loan balance onto a new loan. It also affords me a few occasional indulgences I wouldn't do (haircut, some new clothing) without having an income.

I don't feel ashamed for not letting them know nor do I feel like I'm taking advantage. I work hard for them for the 20 hours they have me there a weekend I am paid in return for that. My income is only $10/hr for a job I've done for far more than that because the hours and location are convenient. Had they told me it was a full time position, I would have declined the job because I wouldn't be able to do that, pregnant or not, with an almost 2 year old son.

 

[notmommyyet]

Not sure what its like in the US but it Canada they are allowed to let you go at anytime in the first 3 months without an explanation. Its known as like the trial period. After the 3 months they need a damn good reason usually with being written up multiple times etc. If it is the same there they could let you go and just say you werent fit for the company. Id wait a bit if possible