mrshanna
LTTTC#1---onto IVF
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2011
- Messages
- 732
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Im sure my story isnt new, isnt any different from so many other ladies, but I need to rant a bit. I need to tell someone who may understand how I feel. Im afraid people who have not been down the TTC road wouldnt understand.
I have always loved being around children! Kids are absolutley fantastic, amazing, beautiful, wonderful, etc...I work with the public in retail every day and am overjoyed when customers bring their little ones in to see me. I love to watch kids in a crowd, playing and laughing and being their care free, uninhibited selves. Laughing, sleeping, teasing, whatever.
But that has all begun to change!
Now, I cant handle being in a crowd of people where I see lots of babies. I dont feel overjoyed when my customers bring their kids to see me. I feel jealous and bitter and angry and ooohhh so sad. I dont want to be this way!!! Im happy for these women who have been fortunate enough to have a family, atleast most of the time, but those feelings are being overwhelmed by my envy and despair at still not being pregnant.
I had to leave a football game recently because the woman sitting a few rows in front of me had two beautiful boys, and was heavily pregnant with her third. I kept tearing up watching her lovely family. Ive become a wreck ladies and I dont know what to do about it!!! Im worrried about my mental health right now. People like to advise you to stay busy and try not to think about it. I own my own business, work full time, and am also in college. Im busy. Trust me.
I have always loved being around children! Kids are absolutley fantastic, amazing, beautiful, wonderful, etc...I work with the public in retail every day and am overjoyed when customers bring their little ones in to see me. I love to watch kids in a crowd, playing and laughing and being their care free, uninhibited selves. Laughing, sleeping, teasing, whatever.
But that has all begun to change!
![Cry :cry: :cry:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cry.gif)
I had to leave a football game recently because the woman sitting a few rows in front of me had two beautiful boys, and was heavily pregnant with her third. I kept tearing up watching her lovely family. Ive become a wreck ladies and I dont know what to do about it!!! Im worrried about my mental health right now. People like to advise you to stay busy and try not to think about it. I own my own business, work full time, and am also in college. Im busy. Trust me.