Worried about my toddler with a NB...

[MLS]

My little man is 13 months old. He is SOOO good, and SO happy and smiley. But he is a rough little guy. And since he's barely over one, he doesnt really understand or respond to "no". And you cant very well discipline him because hes so young he just doesnt get it. We take a toy away if he hits someone with it... or something he shouldnt bang his toys on. He's just at the age where everything is a hammer. (Im sure other moms of boys know what Im talking about). How do I get him to understand "gentle" and "no" in the next few months? Im worried about him smacking his sister when hes playing, not realizing that he's going to hurt her. And I know the safest place for an infant is in the middle of the car, but Im also kinda nervous to put their car seats side by side in the SUV, just because I wont ever be able to give him a toy, or a bottle without is being a drumstick or a hammer.

Thoughts??

 

[AveryATL]

I don't have a baby yet, so I can only give you advice about what I would do (which may change one I am in your shoes!).

But, what I would do is to teach him what gentle means, by modeling it to him. He can understand the concepts of "ow, that hurts mommy, be gentle" and then do LOTS of modeling for him for what gentle means - by touching him and saying "this is mommy being gentle" and then asking him to touch you gentle too, and then praising the heck out of him when he does it right. You could also get a doll, and have him practice being gentle with the doll.

When he doesn't do it right, I would show him how sad you are again reinforce that it hurts when he isn't gentle when touching people. He knows what it means to be hurt, and isn't doing it on purpose - he just needs to learn how to be soft, because he doesn't inherently know the difference.

I would also make sure he has a ball or other outlet where he can be a little boy and NOT be gentle .

 

[lauren loo]

I bought my son a baby doll. Michael is 2 years old,but i figured i can teach him now how to hold a baby,and give it its bottle. How to be easy. And everytime i go out i say,look michael look at the baby.So he knows the word baby now. So far my baby doll has been colored on,fed hot sauce and throw'n out his little cozy cope car. But im always right behind him saying "no michael that will hurt the baby"

 

[LakensMommy11]

I am worried about the same thing...I have a 16 month old!!

 

[tiger]

worried too my little man is so amazing but very rough :/ he will be 23 months when our little girl is born and im pooping myself worrying that hes going to pull her hair or pinch her

 

[Ashlee B x]

How about havin a box of toys when hes around the baby that he cud play with, like soft ones and a special box of really soft toys incase he wanted to give her one? Do the same for the car too so if he did want to play drums it wouldnt hurt them at all. Also my SIL is a nursery nurse and she uses what they call 'kind hands' so if they see a child bein not so nice they ge down to their level, put theirs and the child hands together and explain to them that they only use kind hands when around other people as its not nice to hurt them, works very well! Also you cud try the naughty step, if you feel hes done something really bad, worked with my son (altho didnt have a NB at that age lol) My son will be almost 4 when his sista arrives and hes quite boisterous :s but am sure as long as you keep tellin everyday from now that a little person is comin and how nice and gentle n helpful they'll have to be then it wont be so scary for them?

 

[kate1984]

My Finnlay is a few weeks younger than your son and also loves to hammer away at everything so i understand that one lol. I bought him a baby doll to. I kiss it and love it and then lay it on the settee so he can kiss it. I go bananas when he is gentle, i jump in the air and clap and shout "good boy" and so on so he really loves to gently kiss this plastic baby because he gets sooooo much praise.

This is working out fantastic BUT who's to know whether he will come up and bop the baby when s/he is here haha. Just heap on praise for gentle behaviour i guess??? do you have any friends with newborns? I have 1 friend due 2 week before christmas and another due 3 weeks before me so im hoping to take him to visit and let him see a newborn.

 

[gills8752]

You'd be surpised at how quickly you might be able to teach him no, my lo went from being bad to understanding no within a few weeks.

The car thing sholdn't be a huge issue, there'll be a seat space between them so he won't be able to reach the new baby unless he manges to throw something at him/her. xx

 

[mrsthomas623]

Remember- he gets older everyday, he will learn how to be gentle... eventually! I definitely wouldn't put them side by side in the car... just incase he think his baby brother or sister needs a snack or something. Nolan has just recently grasped the concept of "no" and he does not like it!

 

[MummytoSummer]

I get a little worried by this too. Our daughter is 14 months old. But she's getting better, if she hits one of us (or bites, which thankfully she's now outgrowing), then we tell her off and she now will kiss us better. She has a dolly that we call baby and she knows to be gentle with it and will hug and kiss it.

She is still prone to a strop if she doesn't get her own way or if we take a toy away from her. I'm hoping that by the time the new baby arrives she'll really be understanding even more.

X