Worried about PPD.... how common?

[StarAngel]

Hi Ladies,

As being a ftm you get to hear all kinds of stories whether you asked about them or not! And one thing that few people keep mentioning to me is post partum depression, its said to me like it will happen to me cos I am ftm and have "no clue what I am for" and being sleepless and looking after demanding baby will "drain the life out of me". I need to hear more optimism than pessism. Is this quite common among ftm? Whats the difference between PPD and baby blues? Has anyone experienced this?

 

[Berri]

I have had 2 friends go through PPD - out of around 30+ who have had babies. One was after a traumatic birth and the other just one of those things. Of course having a baby turns your life upside down but most people learn to cope because the sleepless nights and nappies and 3am feeds are offset by first smiles and big cuddles and all the great things that babies bring to your life. I certainly had days that seemed never ending but it did end and life is good.

If you do happen to be in the minority that gets PPD don't be afraid to ask for help.

 

[LilianA]

This is my fourth baby and i only got the baby blues with my first and second but got PPD with my third..
Baby blues in my experience is exhaustion mixed with some feelings that your old independent life has changEd forever but it doesnt last long and like pp said its offset by beautiful moment with your baby. On the other hand PPD started a few weeks after i had my baby and i couldnt pin point a reason for the sadness but i just couldnt smile or laugh, had bad thought about bad things happening to my kids, would cry all the time, scared to even close my eyes!! I just felt like i was in a deep dark hole all alone. And It didnt get better till i got help.
So in my experience it didn't happen as a ftm in fact it got a little worse with each pregnancy and im terrified this time that it will happen! I hope you don't go through this at all, But if you do start feeling depressed please just get help right away dont wait for it to get better on its own.

 

[Larkspur]

Only your doctor will be able to give you really accurate stats. But if you have no history of anxiety or depression, it's not very common. I have one friend who had it (out of countless friends who have children) but she has a life-long history of anxiety.

I have two children who have both been terrible sleepers (first didn't sleep through till 16 months, second is 16 months and hasn't slept through yet either!). That probably sounds like a nightmare to you, but honestly, although it's been tough at times, I've just adjusted and I'm barely affected on a day-to-day basis, even when I'm waking 2-5 times a night to resettle the baby (we co-sleep. You make the choices that work for you).

Don't spend any time worrying about something you can't predict. Everyone has blue moments - usually there's a really bad day or two somewhere in the first couple of weeks, and that's completely normal - but most people don't experience significant or ongoing depression. You'll most likely be just fine.

 

[Willow82]

I think even if you do have a history of anxiety or depression, it doesn't mean that it will happen. I have had mild health anxiety for years and becoming a mother did make it worse for me but it never became PPD.

 

[StarAngel]

Thank you ladies for your honest replies, its nice to hear other peoples experiences. I have no doubt in my mind that having a baby turns your life upside down but I am glad its not all 'doom and gloom' that some people will have you believe. I am in part time college studying Counselling and Psychotherapy and one of the requirements to get your degree is personal therapy so I am sure that if PPD does show its head for me that both my family, friends and therapist will spot it but I wanted to know the signs myself. I know baby blues are common cos everything is settling back down to 'normal'.

 

[Indi84]

I have a history of anxiety and depression, but I was fine and didn't even suffer the baby blues. I had a hideous pregnancy so just not being pregnant felt so good it out weighed any negative emotions at that time.
I think it's one of those things, you might, you probably won't, best thing to remember is that if you feel you are going that way, there is help you don't have to do it alone!

 

[bitethebullet]

My mum suffered peuperal psychosis with all three of her children and I was terrified I would have the same as it has a genetic element however I was absolutely fine. Absolutely great in fact, never been happier. Tired but happy. I think it's one of these things that is difficult to predict but I think circumstances surrounding a birth can contribute . I have a friend who had a ppd while she was in a difficult relationship and her dad was ill with cancer. In subsequent pregnancies with her new partner she was absolutely fine as she was happier and more supported

 

[flipporama1]

I have anxiety before ever being pregnant. after my first it increased alot. but went away around 8 months PP. I've never had any PP depression, anxiety, or baby blues since and I'm on baby #4 I guess it just depends on the person and your mindset going in? I psych myself up for the good things about a baby before they get here and it works for me.

 

[Spudtastic]

I had severe depression in my teens and twenties so I was very worried about ppd. I decided to look out for it and go to someone for help if needed.
I was even told having an epidural increased your risk (I don't know if this is actually true or not just what someone said).

I had a long labour and had an epidural. I also had a baby who barely slept and just wanted to feed all the time. My husband also went away a week after the birth for 10 days.

BUT I did not get ppd. I didn't even get the blues. I was on a high for two weeks. Yes I was tired. Yes my body hurt like hell recovering. Yes I had a fever and chills after a week from the physical toll in my body but I was so happy. It really surprised me.

My daughter was still waking every hour at 9 months and every two hours at 18 months. She's nearly three and still wakes up two to three times a night. I'm still tired but still happy

 

[IsabellaJayne]

I thought i would get it with my first baby as I was put to sleep for an EMCS and I didn't meet her until she was 4 hours old and then she wouldn't eat or breastfeed but I didn't get it. I was surprised as they say things like that contribute to it. But I felt very lucky as I had no problems. Try not to worry but know the signs

 

[Lucy3]

I had baby blues from about week 2-8. I went to my OB bawling my eyes out but she said I was exhausted and the world is a much better place after some sleep. For me I found it difficult to 'let go' and let others help me with the baby. I'm sure you will be fine xx

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I had severe anxiety and depression throughout a lot of my life, I was even admitted to hospitals for suicide attempts twice. I have been off medication for years and am very stable now but I was told I was very likely to suffer from PPD based on my history.. Well even as a single mother with a boyfriend that was cheating on me nightly, I was the happiest mommy ever! I quickly kicked that guy to the curb and didn't even have baby blues which I was told are very common in the weeks following the birth.

Like other posters have said, just know the signs and know that if you experience anything that it's completely okay and necessary to get help, but don't worry too much about getting it : )

 

[StarAngel]

I had severe anxiety and depression throughout a lot of my life, I was even admitted to hospitals for suicide attempts twice. I have been off medication for years and am very stable now but I was told I was very likely to suffer from PPD based on my history.. Well even as a single mother with a boyfriend that was cheating on me nightly, I was the happiest mommy ever! I quickly kicked that guy to the curb and didn't even have baby blues which I was told are very common in the weeks following the birth.

Like other posters have said, just know the signs and know that if you experience anything that it's completely okay and necessary to get help, but don't worry too much about getting it : )

Wow thank you thats very uplifting to hear and I am so glad that chapter of your life is through. I am prone to anxiety and like that I have read that puts me in the category to get PPD and I honestly don't want that to happen, I know I have no control over it and I certainly can't predict it. Right now how I feel is excited and eager to get started with my journey as a mom☺ thank you ladies for your honest replies its such a breath of fresh air to be able to be open about these things.