worried about TTC after complicated pregnancy

[hopedance]

hi ladies, was just wondering if there is anyone in the same position as me. i had a bit of a rubbish pregnancy with sam, first they thought he was ectopic, then that i was going to lose him as hormone levels were low, then i bled from about 10 weeks through to 25 weeks, my 20 week scan showed anomalies (his umbilical cord wasn't developed properly and his kidneys had fluid on them), then i got pre-eclampsia at 27 weeks, had to stay in hospital for a month before having an emergency c-section at 30 weeks. then sam was in there for another 6 weeks. i also got a problem with my hips, it's like SPD but with the bones at the back of your pelvis, plus the pregnancy triggered thyroid disease, first over active, now underactive. and i have PCOS so getting pregnant in the first place was a bit of an achievement.

so, i do want another baby, and i don't want it to be too long after sam so he has a sibling to play with.. but i just don't know if i am brave enough to attempt another pregnancy. friends tell me to adopt, but there is something so special about having your own.

have any of you had another baby after an awful pregnancy?

 

[Bec L]

Blimey you really went through it all didn't you! Poor thing, most people would be put off for life!!

I haven't had difficult pregnancies, although after Poppy was premature I have been worried throughout this pregnancy in case it happened again at an even earlier stage.

Every pregnancy is different and you would obviously be monitored really closely next time round but I can understand why you would be concerned about doing it again.

It amazes me how mummies who have lost babies (especially late on in pregnancy or even after birth) ever manage to get through subsequent pregnancies, but many of them do and have no problems at all.

 

[hopedance]

thanks bec. it is scary thinking if i have another they could be prem too. i dont know what i'd do with sam if we had another baby in scbu. you're brave having a second - did they worry about he/she coming early?

 

[Bec L]

The hospital weren't concerned, just us! I had to push to be given the cervical scans as otherwise I don't think they'd have monitored me any more than normal!

My consultant is very laid back and doesn't really see a 34 week baby needing 2 weeks in SCBU as that big a deal whereas like you, to us the thought of going through that again, especially with a toddler at home, was scaring the life out of me!

I'm already a week past the stage I was when Poppy arrived so every single day/week is a bonus to us.
There are a few threads about this on the Prem Baby section if you fancy a look there. I don't think there is a single mum of a prem baby who hasn't had second thoughts about having another.

 

[midori1999]

Did you have an follow up/review appointment with your consultant after your first pregnancy? If not, see your GP and explain you want to see a consultant prior to concieving, and why you do, they should be able to arrange it.

On the positive side, Pre-ecamplsia/eclampsia is more common in first pregnancies, so you are less likely to get it in a second, plu syou'd be very closely monitored.

I do know how you feel though. I have three children, but in my last pregancy, my first with my second/current husband, my waters broke at 14+5 and I then got an infection and had my twins at 23+5. One of our girls, Megan, died shortly after her birth, but the second twin, Imogen, lived for 9 days and was obviously in NICU. They can give me no reason for my waters breaking but I do knwo that if it happens once there is a higher risk of it happening again in subsequent pregnancies. We are already trying to concieve (it is two months today since I had my twin girls) although I haven't had my review appointment yet. I am just hoping for the best, that's all I can do. I just wouldn't consider adoption, my husband and I want our own child.

 

[angelstardust]

Yep.

With DS1 I was induced at 35 weeks due to PE after a 2 week stay in hospital.

With DS2.... bled on and off till 28 weeks, hyper emesis till 24 weeks (when I stopped vomiting several times a day and just had 'normal' morning sickness), BP up and down from day 1, SPD from 22/24weeks, admitted at 32 and a bit weeks with PE, abruption at 33 weeks, em C section, eclampsia, HELLP, organ failure, tachycardia, 3 days in a barb-coma, told another baby would be suicide, DS2 diagnosed with brain damage at 8 months, PTSD finally diagnosed at 1 year.

And then my minera coil turned into a baby in Jan 2008. Told to terminate, couldn't, got second opinion (at my termination appointment) and.... I got Gestational Diabetes. Which, ha, was nothing! BP was raised but it probably was more to do with me being very, very shit scared. Elective C section at 37 weeks.

The pregnancy with Amber was 'normal', or as close to normal as I would get. Closely monitored but I knew it would be ok. With DS2 I knew from the start it would be hellish, I honestly never thought I'd see that baby alive. I was scared, I probably spent more time being checked over just for my own reassurance than because I needed it. I panicked at every twinge.

By my gosh, she is so worth every single second of it!

My advice is to make plans. We had a plan for every possible scenario. I had a friend on stand by to clear the house of baby stuff if I lost the baby. She knew what to keep in a box for me. Baby sitters on stand by for if I needed to go to hospital. A bag packed for any over night stays for me and the boys. Money in an envelope for petrol or baby clothes or anything else that may have been needed at short notice.

Make sure you can manage financially if you are put on bedrest. Or if you do have a prem baby.

Your life style has to be changed so you can 'hybernate' and get rid of any stress you can.

 

[Liz2]

With my first one I had a normal pregnancy but he was born at 32 weeks gestation.

With my second I had a mmc at 12 weeks.

With my third I was really ill. I had spotting at 13 weeks. Went into preterm labor at 24 weeks. The docs were able to stop it and I was on bed rest til I had him at 36 weeks and he was perfectly healthy.

This pregnancy has been just fine. Besides a ton of MS there doesn't seem to be a problem. I still have a fear of it being born premature but I have not been in and out of the hospital like I was with my last ones. So, I think it really can vary from pregnancy to pregnancy. I think that even if you did have a hard time you would be happy you did it. I haven't regretted any of mine no matter how un-enjoyable they were. Good luck