Worried sick...

[MMAmummy]

I am due to go back to work next week after my maternity leave and I feel like I physically can't go back there. I feel sick, my stomach goes into knots and I feel like I'm gonna burst into tears when I think about being back there. My partner would be with my son when I'm working so I am not worried about leaving him, I have left him with his daddy lots of times. It's they thought of being there with the people that work there that is making me feel this way.

For a while I have hated leaving the house and try to avoid going out, especially on my own. If my partner manages to coax me out it's not so bad, but if I go out by myself I feel very self conscious and panic a bit at times, more so where there is a lot of people around and as I work in a supermarket this is making returning to work feel worse.

I am also having trouble sleeping and am very snappy with OH. He thinks I have PND which has been getting worse. I thought I had baby blues but since my son was 3 months old I noticed I have been getting worse. I am nothing like I used to be. I don't know what to do. My OH says I should speak to my doctor and see if I can get signed off work until I feel better but I am worried that because my son is now 8 months old my doctor will not believe me and think I am just too lazy to return to work, plus I never told my health visitor anything as I worried they would send social workers out to us. I am so sick with worry and don't know what to do for the best.

Any advice? - And apologies for the length of this post x

 

[loopdido]

You sound like me - instead of enjoying my maternity leave I was filling my time with dread about going back to work. i felt negative about everything, had no energy and didn't want to go out and see people - couldn't sleep through worry about going back to work! My DH is going to be looking after kids too. so that's not the worry.

I went to the docs when Mirren was 6 months old and was diagnosed with PND and am now on medication and had a few counselling sessions.....I feel great now - not worried about work and am enjoying my time left with the kids. Definately go to see your doctor and don't worry about them believing you - they have to! i never told my HV about my feelings either as I used to just automatically say 'I'm fine' when they asked - and i genuinely thought i was, until DH sat down with me and got me to realise what I was being like!

I also have made plans which will mean my going back to work is a tempory measure - so that helps greatly! lol

Hope you get some help cos you do sound miserable!

 

[want2bemum]

Hey hun how are you feeling now did you go and see your doc?