Worry worry worry - I feel stupid - please help.

[- Butterfly -]

Could you please give me some advice - I am waiting for my Doctor to call back and I don't know what to say to him.

I am just over 6 weeks pregnant and I just can't stop worrying. I read everyones threads and try to convince myself all is well but then I start worrying again and can't concentrate on anything else.

The reason for my worry is that I have hardly any symptoms and I know that everyone woman is different and every pregnancy is different but I just can't shake it off - the only thing I feel is hungry and tired.

I had a mc with my first pregnancy (ended at 11 weeks) and had no pregnancy symptoms with this. My second pregnancy I was really sick for weeks, sore boobs, tired etc etc and ended up with the most beautiful baby girl ever - Mollie passed away at 12 months old from a genetic condition . This is 5 months ago now and we're pregnant again and very very happy about it but I just can't stop worrying there will be a scan done in nearly 3 weeks time (dating scan to time the CVS right) but I don't think I can wait that long.

I've left a message for my Doctor to call me back because I really want an early scan just to put my mind at rest but I know that this isn't an acceptable reason to have a scan but I just feel so anxious.

I'm sorry if I've babbled on......... I feel so stupid .......... it's just the no symptoms thing that's getting me. I just don't feel pregnant.

I read loads of threads where scans are being done at 4, 5 6 weeks etc and I feel scared to ask him for a scan aaggghh

Any advice please?

 

[KKSARAH]

Hun, I didnt want to read and run.

Am so sorry about your beautiful Daughter

I would phone EPAU and tell them your concerns and go from there

Good Luck hun

sxx

 

[kirstylm]

So sorry to hear sbout your little girl - of course you are going to be worried. Im sure you can have early scans if there has been MC in the past - sure the Doctor will be able to sort this for you. Also he will probably be able to put you in touch with someone that can help with all your worries xxx good luck babe - keep us informed xx

 

[Buffy71]

Hi Butterfly, well no wonder you are so terrified. What a terrible time you have had, but I have to say your little Mollie looks so beautiful and happy. I'm so sorry she's not with you anymore.

I would think with your history, your doctor would be happy to set up an early scan. Explain how stressed it is making you (lay it on thick) and be pushy. Sometimes its the only way to get what you want.

I'm sure everything is fine but you deserve to be able to stop worrying and enjoy your pregnancy.

Good luck - keep us informed.

D
x

 

[- Butterfly -]

Thank you so so much. I'm waiting patiently for him to callback.

Last year I was so assertive and so pushy to get the best care for my little girl that I seem to have run out of steam.

I am going to be honest with him and tell him how I feel and hope he is understanding but I know how tight the NHS are. He did tell me when I saw him a couple of months ago that it was 'too soon' after Mollie to be trying for another baby.

 

[elainegee]

i feel with your very sad past experiances they should offer you early scans hun. I work in a gp surgery and just read a letter for one of our patients and she miscarried at 7 weeks and the letter says at the end - we will offer her early scans in her next pregnancy. I hope you do get one to put your mind at rest, as you said you have no symptoms - with my first wee girl i had zero symptoms either and i know its hard but try not to worry and get on at them for that early scan... The picture of your wee angel is beautiful xxx

 

[MrsO29]

I have had scans at 8 and 10 weeks because of 2 past m/cs, but after everything that has happened to you I am sure they will give you reassurance scans.
My midwife wouldn't give me one at 6 weeks though, as she says the results before 8 weeks can vary greatly and can cause panic when there is no reason to, it's just too early. But you hear of lots of women seeing the HB at 6 weeks.

I hope you get the NHS care you deserve.
You could also consider having a private scan if the NHS won't help.

 

[- Butterfly -]

Ok so the Dr rang. He said they would only do a scan if I was bleeding heavily. He suggested I do a pregnancy test and if I was concerned with that result then he would do a blood test.

I'm so upset. I can't stop crying...........................

 

[Buffy71]

Hello hon, he sounds like a total ar*e. If you wanted to, you could go to A&E and tell them you have been bleeding - they would give you a scan.
You might want to think about changing docs - he sounds like an uncompassionate git.
Have you got someone who lives near you to come and give you a cuddle and some company?
Thinking lovely thoughts at you (and very evil ones at your doctor).
D
xx

 

[- Butterfly -]

Thanks Buffy

Everyone is at work

I can't believe him....... he was so great with Mollie. He said they don't offer routine scans for my scenario - they only offer if there is bleeding and only if it's really heavy. I feel so let down by him. Oh and he also said that if I was having a miscarriage there is nothing they can do about it.

I've just been looking at going for a babybond scan (private) but they don't offer the scan before 7 weeks and the earliest would be next Thursday which is only a week and a day before my scheduled scan anyway. the only way to get a scan with them sooner is to lie about date of last period.

I feel such an idiot.

 

[third time]

My gosh butterfly, no wondeer you're so worried, I can't believe the doctors haven't been more sympathetic with you, that's awful!

Maybe ring EPAU and see what they say, I know they don't really like doing the scan before 7 weeks, but I had one at 5 and saw the sac and a cluster which turned out to be my bean !!!

Good Luck and try to stay positive

Amy xx

 

[lou1979]

I can totally see why you are so worried huni, i was the exact same as you at 6 weeks!

i have everything crossed and im sure it will all be fine xx

 

[- Butterfly -]

My gosh butterfly, no wondeer you're so worried, I can't believe the doctors haven't been more sympathetic with you, that's awful!

Maybe ring EPAU and see what they say, I know they don't really like doing the scan before 7 weeks, but I had one at 5 and saw the sac and a cluster which turned out to be my bean !!!

Good Luck and try to stay positive


Amy xx

Thanks but I just can't bear to be made to feel like an idiot by another person. The doctor made me feel bad enough.

Thanks for everyones support though.

 

[Buffy71]

You arent an idiot at all. You're doing and feeling everything you're supposed to. your doctor is obviously a withered old git not to realise how you must be feeling. I'm thinking some very rude words at him right now.

I know what he means about not being able to stop a miscarriage, but its hardly flippin' right to just leave you waiting to find out - even though your fears are probably totally unfounded - they are still your fears.

If its any consolation I've been reading (and reading and reading) and lots of women dont have symptoms. All I have myself are sore boobs (and wind... but you probably didnt need to know that!).

I'm sure you are ok but totally understand why you're worried (it just never leaves your mind does it - my scan is all I can think about getting to at the mo!!).

Try to relax and focus on Thursday next week when you'll get to see your little munchkin floating around and happy as a lark.

Big hugs

xx

 

[- Butterfly -]

Hi Buffy

Thank you so much - you did manage to get a smile out of me when you said about wind!

I'm not going for the scan next Thursday as we can't really afford it. I didn't return to work after Mollie passed away and I don't feel right that it would take more than a day for my hubby to earn the money. I'll just have to remain calm and wait for the scheduled scan on Friday 24th April.

Thanks again everyone for all your support.

 

[Nanaki]

I know the feeling about the doctor, I was the same as you, I have problem and i need help with it, he just sent me home and i was upset and angry cuz he dont do anything!! So dont worry about it, please ring EPAU they might be able to help you. x

 

[polaris]

Hi Butterfly, I only just saw this thread.


I'm so sorry that everything is getting on top of you at the moment. Your doctor doesn't sound very sympathetic at all, I think a lot of doctors seem to be quite bad at dealing with our emotional needs in early pregnancy, they are just thinking medical needs and thinking that there is nothing that can be done to help at this stage even if something is wrong. So he 'can't see the point' of an early scan from a medical perspective but from a psychological perspective there is every reason for one.

I think there are so many women on here worrying about lack of symptoms that it must be normal. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who sail through your pregnancy. I know you are worried because with your previous m/c you didn't have symptoms, but hun every pregnancy is different so it definitely doesn't mean you will m/c again. By the way, I had pretty much no symptoms at all until I was about a week further on than you.

I know it seems like a lifetime to wait for your scan but maybe think of it as another TWW (I know it's a little bit longer). You can get through this TWW too with the help of your friends!! And at the end of it you will get to meet your little bean.

You have to be kind to yourself because you are still grieving for Molly as is only natural, I think your doctor's comments about it being too soon were extremely insensitive, you cannot wait until you 'get over' Molly because she will always be with you in your heart.

We are all here for you. You will find a way to get through this.

 

[lou1979]

Polaris thats spot on!

we are here for you Butterfly anytime xx

Lorraine x

 

[babystar]

 

[loulou58]

Butterfly, please dont think you're an idiot, you know your body better than most doctors!
Its hard for me to suggest things to do because ive never been in that situation, so i have no advice, so all i can do is just say that we all are here for you, and just because your doctor was a bit dismissive, please dont worry, every pregnancy is different, what went on before was a different pregnancy, focus now on carrying on feeding that hunger with nice yummy things a bean wants, and keep rested and relaxed and i will keep my pma going for you XXXXXX