Worrying myself sick...

[sammyc1989]

Hello all

Posting in this section for the first time - as i'm worrying myself sick!

I had a mc 4 years ago last Oct and am now pregnant again. I was only 8 weeks pregnant, but that didn't really make it any easier, though it was all people said to me.. "At least you weren't far gone".

I am now in the 8 weeks mark again and finding myself analysing everything, how I feel minute to minute, twinges, aches & pains, and I'm driving myself insane.

I've had early scans with this pregnancy, and seen the heartbeat about 1.5 weeks ago, but I'm absolutely terrified that I will go for my 12 week scan at the end of the month and my baby will have stopped developing

I don't really know how to get past this, and I can't think of anything else, not really looking for any suggestions, as I know there aren't any. I guess just venting and looking for some support OH is very supportive of my feelings but this is my first pregnancy with him, and his first pregnancy ever, so he is very excited and I don't really want to bring him down!

Just hope that I can hold onto this little bean x

 

[Mommy_K]

I was the same as you at that point in pregnancy i think all that really helps is venting and talking with others that have gone through this as well. I found if i kept myself busy with a hobby or book or something that would pass the time faster. I wish you all the best!

 

[shirlls]

Your situation is almost identical to mine that your post could have been written by myself!! Like yourself, I am 8 weeks pregnant after a loss and had a scan over a week ago which went fine, but I am driving myself crazy worrying that something will go wrong, and anlysing everything. It doesn't help that in the past week I have had a UTI and trapped wind causing severe stomach pain .

I also had the silly comments to deal with after my mc, 'at least you weren't that far gone anyway' and 'well, at 5 weeks it wasn't really a proper 'baby' yet' (!??!!). I recently tried to confide in a friend about my worries for this pregnancy and she said flippantly 'Ach, you'll be fine, you will be 12 weeks before you know it. And if you do miscarry again at least you will get tested this time to see what's wrong with you' (I've had 2 mcs). Helpful, not! Though I guess she meant well but people who haven't experienced it just don't get it.

It is only natural that we are going to worry as a miscarriage is not something anybody wants to go through again. Like Mommy_K said, talking with others on here who are going through the same thing, and keeping yourself busy with things will help a lot and it has helped me keep myself sane so far. What has also helped me, is speaking to a counsellor as she has helped rationalise my feelings and my worries, and I always feel a little better after talking to her. It also helps take some of the pressure off my OH as I an put on a braver face to him instead of falling apart inside.

All we can do is hope, and I am sure things will be fine (though I know it is easy for someone else to say, but believe me I know what you are going through). Someone said to me recently 'it is better to concentrate on how far you have come rather than how far you have still to go", and also, "Try to relax and enjoy the journey and the destination will take care of itself'. I don't know if that is of any help to you but I found them quite helpful.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and for sticky bean for both of us!

Take care

xxxxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

Take it one day at a time -- I completely understand how you feel as do the other ladies on this site/forum -- I was referred to the epu unit for a scan at 9wks in this pregnancy, could you ask for a little consideration on an early scan (I was also seen at 12wks as a 'regular' maternity appointment)?

The worry doesn't stop, but as you reach milestones, you will relax (a little), post 12wks, then 18-22 wks baby moving, etc., and my little one is very active (especially between 11pm-5am yawn) and now, with the countdown to baby coming (!), I worry that everything will go right! So, you are not alone!

best wishes

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

I was the same! I don't have any advice on how to solve the worries but I can tell you, it will get better. I actually cried in the car all the way to my 12 week scan because I was just so scared and I'd convinced myself something was wrong. Then I cried again because everything was perfect!

Same with my 20 week scan. I know you can find out about a lot of complications at your 20 week scan and I was scared my baby's organs hadn't developed properly and he wouldn't make it. It's a terrible thought to have! I hated myself for being so negative. But, on the day I sat there finding myself coming to terms with the fact everything may not be ok. Seems stupid now. Because of course, everything was fine. I just felt I wasn't lucky enough for everything to go right. After my 20 week scan, I finally realised.. I'm having a baby! And he's fine. And he is going to make it into the world and I'll get to hold him in my arms and love him for many years to come! I still get my worries, Every mom does. But as you get further on, your confidence will get better and you'll feel more secure.

Try not to stress, I know it's easier said than done. But, what's meant to be will be.

 

[tu123]

I was the same when pregnant with my daughter after a MC and the same now after my last MC.

I cant help, as i feel the same I look at my daughter and i desperatly want her to have a bro or sis. Couldnt bare the thought of her being an only child.

I keep telling myself maybe i am only supposed to have one baby, EVEN after a good scan last week!

A colleague of mine will give me another scan this week free of charge. And i have alreday told hubby we will get a private one done at th eend of the mth.

Obsessive, but cant help it

 

[lizbif]

I wish I knew how to make my anxiety go away. The week before my dr appt seems to be the worst. I am so nervous that something will be wrong with the baby when I go in for my checkup.