Worst reactions to telling parents / relatives your pregnant?

[GemBaxter]

Only ever had a bad response from my FIL. We kept teasing my MIL and my folks that I was pregnant for months making it very clear that we were trying so when we actually told them they were absolutely over the moon.

FIL first time round said so what I suppose you want a congratulations. You cannot replace the boys! (the 2 grandchild my husband has lost access to that my FIL never even liked anyway!). Needless to say he cannot get enough of my son now because he is so well behaved and polite for a 2 year old - well yeah because we were ready to have children, he was planned and we believe we parent him well as a team.

Second time round we were ntnp so was quite a shock to everyone. I thought my mum and dad were going to cry (we were told we may never have kids so to announce our second baby two days after Christmas was like a miracle to them). MIL was shocked but only because someone who claimed to be psychic told her she would be a grandmother again and she scoffed at them only to find out hours later that we were pregnant. Then she burst into tears and just start laughing saying I can't believe it and this is amazing.

FIL said yep! and BIL ignoring MIL when she told him. He is a very bitter and twisted person though because he wants what me and hubby has.

FIL and BIL are peas from the same pod!!

 

[Lawhra]

I'm sorry for some of the awful reactions people have had to deal with. It's very sad.

I have been incredibly lucky, both of our families and all of our friends have been over the moon. My step mum squealed! Hers was without doubt the best reaction

My mum disappointed me as she just said "oh". Turns out it was because my uncle's girlfriend (and my friend) and just miscarried after IVF My mum asked if I could understand her reaction in that case and I said "no, I'm your daughter and you know I have waited many years for number two". I felt awful after but it's true. She knew I went through fertility tests, an op and allsorts with my ex so should have been happy for me despite the sad news.

 

[bump0911]

I had a FUNNY reaction from my 89 year old Grandad... I am an identical twin and he is forever confusing me with my sister...

I told both my Nanna and Grandad that they were now going to be Great Grandparents. My Nanna was ecstatic and but my Grandad was very quiet but started tutting and looking disgruntled. I didn't know what was going on but then reminded him I am Anna, the twin who is married and suddenly he perked up. He thought I was my sister (who is single, rents a house and doesn't have much to her name)!!.

Now I'm not saying people in my sister's situation can't have children (don't want to start an argument!) but this is my 89 year old Grandad so he's a bit old fashioned

 

[emzul]

I had a FUNNY reaction from my 89 year old Grandad... I am an identical twin and he is forever confusing me with my sister...

I told both my Nanna and Grandad that they were now going to be Great Grandparents. My Nanna was ecstatic and but my Grandad was very quiet but started tutting and looking disgruntled. I didn't know what was going on but then reminded him I am Anna, the twin who is married and suddenly he perked up. He thought I was my sister (who is single, rents a house and doesn't have much to her name)!!.

Now I'm not saying people in my sister's situation can't have children (don't want to start an argument!) but this is my 89 year old Grandad so he's a bit old fashioned

Awww bless him!! LOL I think Grandparents can be excused for thinking like that, very different nowadays compared to when they were young. My Nan just said "oh so the wedding will be brought forward then" (me and OH got engaged over Xmas, and then found out 1 week later we were expecting.... VERY busy month for us lol) so I just sort of said we would see how money went....... I could FEEL her rolling her eyes down the phone! LOL

My Mum offered to pay for us to get married before LO comes, but I want to get married on my and OH's terms, when we can afford to and have the time to do it how we want (not being ungrateful!) just think in this day and age you dont need to be married and I dont want to have one of the happiest days of my life rushed through to meet a "deadline" and to please a select few!

But I know they are all over the moon, think in an ideal world though my Nan and OH Nan would rather we be wed.... but you cant win them all LOL

 

[ilvmylbug]

So sorry to hear that so many of us have people in our lives that aren't supportive I started this thread b/c I knew my family wouldn't be supportive and I was dreading a reaction from them. I just wanted to feel better that there are ladies in the same boat as me, I hope no one has bad feelings when they post in this thread.

Of course, it's been weeks since I've told my mom and she still hasn't texted or call me to see how I am doing (or her grandchild, for that matter).

 

[kittycat18]

I am only 18 years old and My partners sister found out when I was 12-13 weeks pregnant and threatened me to have an abortion and told me that I would ruin their family if I kept this baby... This was of course coming from the woman who dropped out of education, got caught stealing hundreds from her parents business, was found out to be selling mephedrone and also found out to be selling her body

Every-one else was fine when me and my partner told them I was pregnant and we are all very excited for our LO to get here in July

 

[emzul]

So sorry to hear that so many of us have people in our lives that aren't supportive I started this thread b/c I knew my family wouldn't be supportive and I was dreading a reaction from them. I just wanted to feel better that there are ladies in the same boat as me, I hope no one has bad feelings when they post in this thread.

Of course, it's been weeks since I've told my mom and she still hasn't texted or call me to see how I am doing (or her grandchild, for that matter).

Ahh thats really sad that you havent heard from her, I am sure she will come round and will be thrilled when the baby comes!

Its a shame some peoples family react like this, makes me realise how lucky I am.... I hope you hear from her soon

 

[Lesli45]

This is my 2nd pregnancy and at about the 9 week mark my mom asked me if I was pregnant. I had been keeping it hush-hush since my bro's wedding was coming up and didn't want to steal any of his thunder lol. Anyways, I admitted it and one of the first things out of her mouth was "So what are your plans?" When I asked what she meant, she asked about my bf and I getting married. When I told her that we planned on getting married but not before the baby she got really annoyed and said "maybe we shouldn't tell your father then for now." She said that people don't do it that way in our family and it would be embarrassing for them. Ouch. Anyways, I thought she'd come around after a week or two but still kept nagging about the wedding. A few weeks later, my dad made some comment about the fact that maybe I shouldn't be exercising since I was pregnant. But he seemed happy so I guess my mom told him and he was ok with it. He hasn't mentioned marriage once. I was happy the negativity was taken out of it since it was really stressing me out...talk about feeling like the black sheep of the family lol. Hope everyone's families/friends come around.

 

[kiasuten]

When I called my grandparents to tell them, my grandfather said "Oh, noooooo!" That really made me feel reassured :/

 

[DueSeptember]

I was scared to tell my Parents...My Dad thought I was joking I said I am serious and I hung up...then he got my Mom to callback she was all Happy...I think it was a shock to all of us but my Dad is Happy he said I hope it is a Boy since he has all girls lol My OH Parents do not know we are going to tell them next week.....SCARED since he already has 2!!!

 

[LadyHutch]

For the most part, everyone was very happy we got a second chance after the miscarriage. There were some concerned looks and sighs that it happened so fast after the last, but it was more worry than admonition. With the first, there were quite a few people who expressed grave concern as both DH and I are recovered drug addicts with mental illness issues, and had had some very turbulent times in the past.

However, once they all saw how happy we are, and excited, they got excited too.


DH's ex wife and kids on the other hand have been nothing short of evil. I won't even go into that except to say I blocked all of them and all of her possible family from my email, facebook, phone, and any other avenue of communication they can dig up.

 

[lilwelsh1]

wow i cant believe some of the reactions. Some u could c as old fashioned (i.e grandparents) but others r just down right rude!! I had mixed reactions with this one as it was so soon after a loss.

My mum said 'r u mad? U r supposed to let your body recover! Dont tell the family in case it happens again.' i understand she was worried, i felt just as scared to be honest.

Some dippy idiot said 'u already have 1 boy n 1 girl, so whats the point??' cant explain that one :-/

my 6 year old daughter said 'AGAIN?!' she twigged i was expecting a day or 2 before i mc bless her heart. She is smarter than average i think. - was the funniest reaction at least.

Mostly tho i was met with silence, just total silence, it was worse than any stupid comment. I told some people via text as i knew their reaction may be difficult to digest but instead i was completely ignored. They still dont talk about it now. 1 i can understand as she mc shortly before me and was struggling to deal with that but others are a mystery. My dads girlfriend told me to 'get on the coil' eeerrrrmmmm bit late love!! Even tho we had been ttc for 2 years my mum still told people it was unplanned pregnancy. Thankfully my sis was there and corrected her lol. I didnt make our plans common knowledge thats all. I dont know how u tell people u r trying.

 

[Lesli45]

Oh yeah, sorry I forgot. My boss asked me right off if this was a "happy" thing. Lovely....

 

[xxMichellexx]

I dont think i got one good reaction, my entire family suggested a termination as i wasnt with the father, and still at university. I stuck to my guns though, they are all still coming to terms with it slowly, i suppose people just wanted the best for me and the FOB is a waste of space, but a lot of my family are now proud that i made the decision to raise a baby on my own, and i intend to make everybody proud one day! x

 

[liza]

My parents have been awful. I actually can't believe how selfish they are being about the whole thing.

My mum has fluctuated between being happy and excited and being downright miserable (I think this is all due to the way in which my dad is behaving). My dad has had the worst reaction possible.

A year ago, I moved out to live with my OH and from that moment on my dad was forever telling me I should 'come home for a few days' and that my mother 'felt like I had abandoned them' etc. He would ignore me and actually told me on a few occasions that he wasn't interested/didn't care when I was talking about my life in general with the OH. I got numerous letters telling me I was living in a 'fantasy world' and that my life was going to go down the pan, that I'd end up amounting to nothing more than working behind a checkout, telling me that I was clearly having a breakdown and just petending everything was ok... whilst OH and I were busy renovating our house, scrimping and saving, OH was working all hours and I was carrying on with my degree. This led to us falling out in a big way because I felt he was trying to control me and my life - I'm 21 for gods sake, I'm an adult, a homeowner and in a loving relationship - I'm happy and he can't accept that.

Since he found out I'm pregnant, he won't talk to me. According to him, the whole breakdown of our father-daughter relationship is ENTIRELY my fault because I've been aggressive towards him (which I think was understandable given what he was constantly saying to me), he doesn't understand we've fallen out etc. I think he's actually having some sort of breakdown - he apparently won't sleep, is in tears a lot of the time and has resorted to emailing people I haven't spoken to since I left school to try and get them to convince me to have an abortion and give up on the life my OH and I have.

He's also been emailing people telling them how he's going to end up with me turning up on their doorstep in a few month time, baby in tow, relationship down the pan and expecting them to finance and house me and my baby and has told me to have an abortion on the basis that he and my mother can't afford to pay for this baby to be brought up. I never asked or wanted them to! OH and I are perfectly capable of supporting ourselves and the baby and would never, ever want them to finance us. Nice that he has faith in me and my OH, isn't it.

It'd be nice to have some support...

 

[raychmumtobe]

My parents have been awful. I actually can't believe how selfish they are being about the whole thing.

My mum has fluctuated between being happy and excited and being downright miserable (I think this is all due to the way in which my dad is behaving). My dad has had the worst reaction possible.

A year ago, I moved out to live with my OH and from that moment on my dad was forever telling me I should 'come home for a few days' and that my mother 'felt like I had abandoned them' etc. He would ignore me and actually told me on a few occasions that he wasn't interested/didn't care when I was talking about my life in general with the OH. I got numerous letters telling me I was living in a 'fantasy world' and that my life was going to go down the pan, that I'd end up amounting to nothing more than working behind a checkout, telling me that I was clearly having a breakdown and just petending everything was ok... whilst OH and I were busy renovating our house, scrimping and saving, OH was working all hours and I was carrying on with my degree. This led to us falling out in a big way because I felt he was trying to control me and my life - I'm 21 for gods sake, I'm an adult, a homeowner and in a loving relationship - I'm happy and he can't accept that.

Since he found out I'm pregnant, he won't talk to me. According to him, the whole breakdown of our father-daughter relationship is ENTIRELY my fault because I've been aggressive towards him (which I think was understandable given what he was constantly saying to me), he doesn't understand we've fallen out etc. I think he's actually having some sort of breakdown - he apparently won't sleep, is in tears a lot of the time and has resorted to emailing people I haven't spoken to since I left school to try and get them to convince me to have an abortion and give up on the life my OH and I have.

He's also been emailing people telling them how he's going to end up with me turning up on their doorstep in a few month time, baby in tow, relationship down the pan and expecting them to finance and house me and my baby and has told me to have an abortion on the basis that he and my mother can't afford to pay for this baby to be brought up. I never asked or wanted them to! OH and I are perfectly capable of supporting ourselves and the baby and would never, ever want them to finance us. Nice that he has faith in me and my OH, isn't it.

It'd be nice to have some support...

I cannot beleive how ridiculous your parents are being!
Youre parents need to just get it into their heads that youre an adult and you have your own life now.
I dont think theyve quite gotten used to the idea that you dont need them anymore and thats why your father is so against your OH.
Wait til your baby comes along and you prove to them that youre a big girl and you have your own life now and see how they react, if they still have little faith in you, then i dont think they deserve to take up a moment of your time until they sort their heads out.

i know its a little harsh, but maybe they need the shock of you just not caring or making any effort to get them involved. If they want to be involved in your life, and their grandchilds, they will make the changes they need to and make an effort to just be happy for you.

Good Luck with your pregnancy