Would just love a little bit of help once in a while... :,-( NOTHING'S Changed!!!

[KS1977]

Hi ladies,

Gonna have a moan sorry. I am so fed up today. Asked the OH to come shopping with me as we literally have nothing in the house... Even the poor cat had no food bless her. I got the response 'do we have to?' which annoyed me. Told him not to bother then, I'll go on my own... This was a main large shop too. When I'd finished, I rang him to say meet me in the garage site to help me carry the heavy shopping bags, only to be told he wasn't in, but at the pub!!!!! I put the phone down on him as I have never been so angry! No sooner had I gone out, he must have ran upstairs, got ready and effed off to the pub! It beggars belief! Is it too much to ask to help your pregnant GF with shopping?? No wonder he didn't want to come with me.

I am so fed up to the point I cried! I ended up having to do three trips to bring in the bags as our house is round the corner from the garage site and we have no drive to park a car on. Since doing this I've had back ache and lower aches in my abdomen!

To top all this off, I get home from visiting my mums to notice that the 100 quid he won and put aside for bubs savings had gone out the pot! For weeks he's been saying he'll tidy the bedroom on his side and get a new bathroom done as it's old and disgusting! I am at the end of my tether as he does naff all to help and I feel like I am on my own sometimes. Sorry to go on, but I need to get it off my chest and I am so fed up!

Thanks for reading this and taking the time to listen to a very hormonal pregnant lady rant on xxx

 

[mummy2lola]

Oh babe I think u had every right to be upset.there'd be murder if my dh wouldn't helped and then end up down the pub,no no we won't b having any of that lol utell him that ur now hurting in ur back and abdo and hope he had a lovely time.I think it's time unhelpful men wake up and smell the coffee,if they carry on there gonna lose what should be the most important things in their lives,there's only so much women can take...especially when preggo xx

 

[Lettuce]

sometimes I think it would be easier to have nothing to do with them... That's really out of order tho! No wonder you are raging! I would be too. I think sometime they don't get how tired we are, how much things we used to do without thinking are now difficult and can cause pain and worry! As for the money, that's not fair and you should speak to him about it. I know sometimes our hormones get the better of us, but I def think not helping with the weekly shop n pissing off to the pub is soooooo unfair! I'm angry for you, grrrrrr! Maybe it's time to have chat.... Xxx
Oh, just remembered there was this programme on where the partners had to wear a pregnancy suit to see what it felt like- so hilarious! We should get some to pass round the partners on here! xx

 

[sammiesmile]

tbh i think men like this never change my hubby never does anything even after ive just had a c section i still have to go shopping etc on me own and when i pull up in the car he just stands by the door and watches me carry it in, then starts looking through the bags to see what he can eat cheeky *******, you need to have serious words hun or he will never stop doing it, im a nob head and i let my husband treat me like shit coz thats all im used to xxx

 

[sardando]

I'm not suprised you are annoyed. I would be raging! I hope he has apologised x

 

[theresarhuebb]

grrr think all men the same. am slowely kicking mine in to touch, its only took me nearly 8yrs!!. its annoys me how mine can sit in the livingroom and walk over the mess and not pick up after kids. i mean its not that hard, he wont decorate nor do the garden basically does FA men!!! grrr lol

 

[scuffer]

I don't know if they can change but I do think sammiesmile is right that they'll continue if you let them. I don't know what to say really, I've been out with some sh*tty lazy men and our expectations on each other just didn't meet.

Not all men are the same, but good ones are a rare gem, it's only taken me 15 years and 2 failed marriages to find mine! I'm not sure if that's inspiring or not but they do exist!

 

[KS1977]

Thanks ladies. Yeah I need to have words. Although he's that laid back, he's horizontal!!! There is so much stuff to do still in the house. The spare room looks like a dumping ground and it needs making into a nursery. I hate it here. It's OHs house not mine. I've been asking for years to sort the house...in particular the bathroom as its nackered and needs a make over. I'm not bathing a baby in that bathroom and I've said that so he said he'll get someone to help him sort it...and has he??? Nope! X

 

[LHill2010]

That's unacceptable. My DH hates and I mean HATES to go grocery shopping with me, so i don't usually press the issue, but you bet he's waiting for me at the door when I get home to help carry stuff in! I always say "pick your battles" because, let's be honest, men just aren't wired the same. My DH will leave stuff sitting around, forget to take out the trash, etc. So, I might mention something about it, like "hey you forgot to do that" and just do it myself, but it isn't worth the fight. THIS, however, would totally be worth the fight. Put your foot down girl

 

[spring_baby]

Big hug coming yr way, call me hormonal I would of driven to the pub stormed in handed him the car keys and told him to go sort the shopping out and then come back and get me.
Like Scuffer says there are some lazy men out there (mummys boys I think we used to call them) my ex was one and I suffered through our marriage for 12 years and took me 3 more to divorce him (another story) he was brought up to believe that women did everything and if he didnt like it he had the right to complain but not help!! unlike scuffer I dont plan on marrying again anytime soon even though I finally met my angelic oh and bubs dad, but before him and after my divorce I met a lot of men that put themselves first without a thought for the word us, they were all about I.

My lovely oh came home on his only evening off after working 16 hour days for the last week and even though he was shattered dismantled my daughters bed and put the broken bits outside he then reassembled her new bed for her before then taking me to the pictures with my other older daughter tagging along to see 127 hours, I still cant believe I got so lucky xx

 

[MrsWhite]

Not to sound braggy but my hubby would NEVER do that...I don't say that to make you feel that my man is better than yours...it's just hard to hear about someone being treated that way. I used to be in a very bad relationship, and it just isn't worth the hurt and anxiety.
Maybe your guy was just having an out-of-character moment, but it sounds like you need to sit him down and tell him that this is not acceptable. If he is doing this now, how much harder will it be for you taking care of three of you with no help? He needs to step up and be a real man and think about someone other than himself, especially since he is about to be a father, and no way is that going to work if he can't put his child before himself.
Sorry you have to deal with this...but just remember if you let him get away with it now it will only get worse. Set the groundwork now and it will be easier...and if it doesn't work that just tells you that he doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself and you're better off without him.
I'm sure you would have been more than happy to say "Go have fun, honey" if he had said "okay, lets get some groceries, and after we're all settled, do you mind if I go have a drink with my buddies?" instead of griping about going to the store and then going off to the bar while you're gone. Just explain that to him, maybe he just doesn't understand why it's a problem, guys can be pretty dense you know.
Good luck

 

[shellbelly]

My OH is exactly the same, he does nothing to help me, i am nearly 5 months pregnant and really tired all the time and all we do is argue. I'm stressed and just want to feel like he cares and wants to do something nice forme fpr a change

 

[KS1977]

Well he got the silent treatment this morning as I am still fuming. My back still hurts and I think I must have pulled a muscle in my stomach. I am just so pissed off and when I was telling a work mate about it, I nearly burst into tears. I hate him sometimes! Everything else seems to take a back burner unless it's to do with football, snooker or pool. Feel really down about it all TBH x

 

[KS1977]

Well I've just got back in from being out baby shopping with my mum thinking that maybe he will have started tidying up or at least sorting out the shithole of a bathroom.... But no!!! He is sat on his arse doing f*** all as usual apart from watching football and listening to local team on the radio and on the laptop! I am so f***** off you would not believe!!! I just don't know what to do anymore. Just wish I had an OH like my sister who would bend over backwards to help and does alsorts around the house... Instead I get a lazy tw4t who doesn't obviously give a sh1t!!!

 

[miss cakes]

oh god have you told him how much his behaviour is pissing you off? x

 

[KS1977]

oh god have you told him how much his behaviour is pissing you off? x

Yes Hun til I'm blue in the face. When I first moved in with him years ago he has an old settee stacked up in the front room which stayed there fir months and I kept asking when it would be moved and he'd always say I'll sort it at the weekend... But he never did!

 

[miss cakes]

he would certainly do my head in! not sure i could put up with it tbh x

 

[KS1977]

No I don't know how I am actually xx

 

[miss cakes]

well sod that you dont have to if hes not gonna listen to you then kick his lazy ass out until he changes his bloody ways! x

 

[tessica123]

i had this with my oh hun when i was preg with my lo and i actually moved out and in with my sister for few weeks and told him i dont expect him to change but to at least try would be nice and i wasnt coming home till a huge list of things were sorted

took him about 3 weeks but he got everything dont and although he didnt change he did try his best all the time and even now i think now ive done it once he is that bloody scared ill do it again he goes out of his way to help

but i tell you if he hadnt have done what i asked which wasnt much just general sort spare room out re paint bathroom the things i can do but told not too as was preg and climbing ladders wasnt option i would have not come back and he knows it

hope he listens to you soon as if you not had it yet your hormones will soon make it that you could start fight with fresh air and god help him lol