Would love your opinions on having more than 1 child

[LaaLaa]

Mine have their Charlie and Lola moments!

My view is that kids need other kids. Ideally, siblings but if you're sticking to one I'd be prepared for a lot of lunch dates, sleepovers and trips out with friends. Mums of singles need to be prepared to put in that extra bit of effort so their kids don't get lonely.

That's my view, anyway!

 

[pinkflamingo]

I am one of 3 and have always wanted to have lots of children. DH was an only child but grew up with his 2 cousins who are all close in age, so that was almost like having 2 brothers for him.

SS is an only child and now he is 13 you can tell that he has had quite a lonely childhood. He has always had kids around him in school and after school club, but sadly playdates during holidays etc were never encouraged when he was younger. I think he has had some issues making friends at school over the years too. Because he is an only child (and until recently the only child in the family) he got all the attention from the adults in the family, and that has almost made him a bit cocky. When he meets new kids I think they find him a bit too much at times and so he has trouble with this. DH has spoken to him about not being so overpowering with people, but it's just the way he has been allowed to grow up really.

If we go on holiday he always wants to find someone young to play with in the pool etc, and most of the other kids are all playing happily with their brothers and sisters. I think he has found it harder as he has gotten older. He knows that we are wanting to have children and i do worry that when he sees his half siblings grow up together that he won't feel a part of that bond due to the age gap and the fact that they will be growing up together, whilst he will just see them once a fortnight. And as I mentioned he has always had attention from all the adults in the family (but now another grandchild has been born), but when we have spoken about having children he says that he won't get as much attention from people / not as many presents etc etc and that he won't like that! I understand that it is natural for kids to feel like this, but I would expect that worry to come from a younger child as opposed to a 13 year old!

If I have a choice in the matter I will definately want more than one child. Personally about 3 or 4. Everyone is different though so it's all about what fits in with you and your life.

xx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Mine have their Charlie and Lola moments!

My view is that kids need other kids. Ideally, siblings but if you're sticking to one I'd be prepared for a lot of lunch dates, sleepovers and trips out with friends. Mums of singles need to be prepared to put in that extra bit of effort so their kids don't get lonely.

That's my view, anyway!

I agree. Mine always have each other when we go to parks, bowling etc and when they are at home, they play together like Hide N seek etc etc. There is 21mths between them and they have their moments but they are best of friends really

 

[Kittee]

I decided to go ahead and have another one (its baking in my oven right now! LOL) because I felt it was important for DD to have a life long person to confide in. Lets face it, we won't be here forever and I wanted her to have someone to be there for her when we are gone.

I am an only child and the prospect of being the sole caretaker of my parents frightens me. They are getting up in age now and I'm all they have to take care of them.

That aside, growing up was lonely for me and sometimes even now I'm lonely and wish I had a sibling to just simply call up on the phone sometime.

So even though I loved my DD being my only, I am welcoming another baby to our family so we can have more family to count on.

Good luck on your decision!

 

[Jellybellymom]

I have 3 kids, 7,6 & 5 - so one a year - just as well I did it that way cos if they had become toddlers first I may never have had another!! They are best of friends and worst enemies in equal measures. It is tough, and I do sometimes look at my friends who just have one child and think "you don't know how lucky you are"!! But I get so much joy from them, and they have certainly taught me tolerance and patience, and given so much more back to me than I could ever have imagined. I guess in life you just have to do what feels right - good luck in whatever you decide

 

[wonkeydonkey]

I've just had my second child in Nov 2010 (baby boy) and my little girl is now nearly 6 years old (little girl). I think this is a good gap as my little girl is in a good routine and sleeping and i think this will rub off on my new baby boy. Also my little girl is able to understand what having a little brother is about and is willing to help out with the new arrival. She sits and reads books to him, plays with him when i need to do my jobs around the house and has baths with him. She's so gentle and good with him. It's been difficult going back to the sleepless nights again after my little girl sleeps so well at night as she has a full 12 hours a night, but these won't last forever.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

After seeing my children play after school, hide and seek etc I am 100% sure the age gap is perfect and that I did the right thing x

 

[embojet]

There is a 3 year age gap between and my sister, and thats what I'm aiming for, as it was perfect for me x