Would this be really wrong of me? [Kind of long] UPDATE PAGE 3

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by merakola, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. merakola

    merakola Guest

    Well. Im 13 weeks pregnant and I still havent told my dad side of the family. Some of you may know but if not my dad is not an easy person to talk to. I KNOW he will go crazy!! When I first moved out with DH he went psycho!! He told me that Im going to end up losing my job and DH will make be a stripper to make money since she doesnt care about me anyway & he told DH that I will b lazy and not do anything because Im really selfish ( extreme right) . He said alll of this when he was having a private conversation with both of us ( Had one with him & DH then me & him, so I didnt know what he said about me until DH told me )

    Even my mom knows how terrified I am ( they are not together at all they cant stand each other ) She knows that I take my dad's opinion to the heart way to much so she just wants me to take my time to tell him so I wont be stressed since its not healthy

    ANYWHOOOOO. to the question

    Since me and DH is planning to move to NC with my mom ( she has a 5 bedroom house and it will just be me her DH and the baby. LOTS of space)
    Would it be really horrible of me if I just go to NC first and then tell my dad over the phone or something?

    Ugh I probably does. I really wish you ladies could meet my dad he is the coolest dad in the world and I wouldnt want any other but he isnt very sympathetic. He hates emotions and everything will turn around on back to him

    For example: when I tell him he would most likely say "Mera ( thats my nickname) why did you tell DH or your mom before me ?"

    Then he doesnt like DH because he thinks he is using me ( which is definitely NOT the case since right now Im not working and he pays for everything!! & He treats me perfect!!!!! )

    Ugh this is getting really long so what do you ladies think?:shrug:
     
  2. oOskittlesOo

    oOskittlesOo Guest

    I don't think it sounds horrible at all. If I were in your shoes I would do the same thing. Maybe when you tell him and he does start in with that you can let him know why you didn't say anything? Like explain?? But honestly I might be way off from thenother girls because I was so scared about telling my mom she didn't know until I was 17 weeks!!
     
  3. merakola

    merakola Guest

    Yea. I just KNOW he wont understand and if I tell him now while im still here in florida I know I will be very stressed out. When I moved out of his house he didnt even walk me out he told me to just leave:cry: My little brother was the only one to hug me goodbye. The worst part is my dad isnt the best listener, if you dont tell him exactly what he wants to here then youre not going to get anywhere with it. He would rather me just tell him "Daddy, Im pregnant because Im a stupid girl that got suckered from some guy that is using me" But thats not the trust at all but he doesnt want to hear that so I dunno. Explaining to him is just not easy:dohh:
     
  4. oOskittlesOo

    oOskittlesOo Guest

    Wow that sounds horrible :( I'm sorry :hugs: I really think it's best not to stress then, and to do what your heart is saying is right.
     
  5. merakola

    merakola Guest

    Yea I think Ill just do it then because I just cant handle it at all.My dad is SUPER strict. ( when I was 20 my curfew was 12:00am:growlmad: wth can you do if you have to be home at midnight)

    But thanks. I really appreciate it :hugs::kiss:
     
  6. MrsBurton09

    MrsBurton09 Pregnant w/ bby #2

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    My dad was super strict with me growing up I had sex for the first time when I was 17 and contracted a std which I took meds for and got rid of thank God. Telling my parents I was so scared. My dad was the first person I told. He was sad and disappointed but I am his baby girl and he just wanted to make sure I was ok. Mom on the other hand took it hard. The reactions I got I thought would be vice versa. So I can only imagine if I was pregnant on top of that. If DH is ur husband then ur dad rly cant say much. So just tell him however and whenever u r comfortable. He will be ok..bc if he is a true daddy he will love u no matter what.
     
  7. merakola

    merakola Guest

    And the worst part is I know he will eventually get over it because he is that type of person but that first reaction is the worst. I lost my virgininty at 15 and i was scared that I wasnt going to get my period which I thought I could talk to my stepmom about and she keep it between us NOT she ran and told him so it eventually got out and he CRIED. & When I moved out and he didnt talk to me, that night my little brother told me he slept in my room:cry:
    My dad isnt really good with his emotions so its really hard to talk to him and get any type of support or sympathy. Ugh just very complicated.
     
  8. oOskittlesOo

    oOskittlesOo Guest

    Yeah sounds like he just wants you to be his baby forever- eventually he'll have to realize your his baby girl- but won't be a baby forever and now you're going to have a baby!! Maybe when LO is here he'll be excited as it means another little baby to be close with??
     
  9. merakola

    merakola Guest

    Thats basically it and everyone knows it but I dont know when he is going to let go. I know when LO get here omg that will probably be his best friend ( he is the biggest kid type person in the world!! )

    Even the other day he told me he still doesnt like the fact that I moved out! & its almost been a year like I dont get it. I know he cares about me and he is the reason y i am the person I am but sometimes I wish he would relax a little bit and just listen to what I have to say . But again he isnt really a good listener so I know this will NOT go well
     
  10. MrsBurton09

    MrsBurton09 Pregnant w/ bby #2

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    My dad isnt good with emotions either but in my opinion I think it may hurt him worse if u wait. But its up to u. I know it would kill my dad if I just called him. In the end I would just face him. You said when u were 20 u had a cerfew. Soundsto me ur an adult and he wants to keep u as his baby...what I did with my dad I just took him for breakfast and said dad im 19 and I plan on getting married. I am an adult and james and I respect and love u but its time I grow up. And had the same convo when I found out I had infertility issues and then avagain when I got pregnant. I will always be his bby girl but he also respects me as a 21yr old married ldy. I guess my point is its time to just talk to him sweetie he may get upset but in time he will respect u for being honest. Hope ihelped and dont take what I said in a wrongway bc I know all of our dads r different. :)
     
  11. oOskittlesOo

    oOskittlesOo Guest

    :hugs: it'll be hard but when are you moving? Sorry if you said n I have babybrain :dohh: if you need someone to talk to I'm just a click away!! :hugs2:
     
  12. krys

    krys Madi's Mommy

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    If he isn't a good listener, I would write him a letter. That way you can take your time, get it all out, and you'll have a chance to go over it a few times in case you leave something out. He can't cut you off or walk away if he's reading a letter. I was really scared to tell my dad. He also doesn't show emotions, and he doesn't like to talk about ANYTHING. In the end, he was more supportive than anyone! He just hugged me, and ever since then he's been so great about it. What hurt him worse, was the fact that I was terrified of telling him. I was completely shocked once I did. I know she's gonna be his little girl just like I was. You never know, maybe he'll surprise you. Good luck :flower:
     
  13. oOskittlesOo

    oOskittlesOo Guest

    :thumbup: this is an amazing idea!! Dnt know why I didn't think of that as I wrote my dad a letter telling him.
     
  14. merakola

    merakola Guest

    & You know, I actually rather talk to him face 2 face about it but I just know he wont listen. He really wont and it will be so much harder if I stay here. I know that no matter what I do it will come out wrong so Im just lost for words. I wish I could just talk to him regardless about what it is but I really cant...Sux
     
  15. merakola

    merakola Guest

    Thanks hun:hugs: Well I dont have a set date. My mom is just ready when Im ready to come no matter if its tomorrow. Our lease end July 30th so I wanna at least get out of here before then ( we already paid all out rent so we pretty much just hanging out) The plan was for me to tell my dad and to haul ass up there but now I cant find the courage to do it. If I do plan to tell him after I move to NC I think I will probably leave the begining of july
     
  16. MrsBurton09

    MrsBurton09 Pregnant w/ bby #2

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    I love the letter idea. Maybe give it to him before u go and give him time to read and think about what u have to say. Then maybe talk to him. He may suprise u.
     
  17. merakola

    merakola Guest


    I was thinking of writing a letter but I know he will b A LOT more pissed if I did it that way be will say Im a full of shit and I have no reason to be scared to talk to him about not write a letter ( complicated I KNOW)

    he doesnt make a lot of things easier so to be honest i dunno...I havent even told my grandmother which Im really really close with but i know if i tell her she will tell my dad and he will be mad that she knew before him. ugh i cant wait to get it over with. I think I may do it over the phone because the stress will be terrible if i stay here ( not only him but my stepmom will have sooo much shit to say because she is a complete bitch and she hates me:growlmad:)
     
  18. aidensxmomma

    aidensxmomma 4 on Earth, Many in Heaven

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    I can see why it would be a good idea to wait to tell your dad and why it wouldn't be. I don't really have good advice for you, though. I told my dad I was pregnant the first two times through text messaging and the second time I just called him. But my dad and I aren't that close and he's a truck driver so calling him was about the only way to tell him.

    My two cents is that if you are going to be overly stressed if you told him while you were still living where you are, then it might be a better idea to wait. It might make him upset that you waited to tell him, but you and baby are the most important right now and stress is not good for either of you.

    Good luck with whatever you decide...I'm sorry I wasn't more help. :hugs:

    Edit: Just read your last post and I figured I left you know that I have a horrible stepmother, too. We (my brother and I) have called her the step-monster for the last 10 years or so. :blush: :haha:
     
  19. merakola

    merakola Guest

    Thanks I really appreciate your response. My mom keeps telling me not to let him stress me but my dad's opinion has always been big to me. Even tho most cases I do whatever I want its still a big thing to me.

    But yea my stepmom is HORRIBLE to me and my little brother Ive known her since I was 4 and they got married when I was 10. She has NEVER liked me EVER and still doesnt. Since moving out she has never called to check up on me or anything but I know as soon as my dad is mad at me for something she will be right there to have her two cents ( and my mom will punch in her face :rofl:)

    one time she slapped me in my face for not doing a book report in the 6th grade . and it wasnt a little slap it was those EXTREME bitch slaps you see on dramatic lifetime movies. :growlmad:
     
  20. aidensxmomma

    aidensxmomma 4 on Earth, Many in Heaven

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    My dad and my stepmom got together when I was 5 or so and got married a couple years later. She has been the most horrible person ever since then. Plus, she has a son from a previous relationship who she absolutely babies. My brother and I can't stand either of them. She's really why we don't go see our dad much.

    My stepmom never like me or my brother either and I still do not understand why. It was absolutely horrible when I was a teenager.

    I tried living with my dad and stepmom when I was 15. I only lasted 5 weeks with her. She called the cops on me while I was down there because "I was a run-away"...I had been gone for 20 minutes and she dared me to get out of the house. I took her up on that dare. :haha:
     

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