Would this be really wrong of me? [Kind of long] UPDATE PAGE 3

[merakola]

My dad and my stepmom got together when I was 5 or so and got married a couple years later. She has been the most horrible person ever since then. Plus, she has a son from a previous relationship who she absolutely babies. My brother and I can't stand either of them. She's really why we don't go see our dad much.

My stepmom never like me or my brother either and I still do not understand why. It was absolutely horrible when I was a teenager.

I tried living with my dad and stepmom when I was 15. I only lasted 5 weeks with her. She called the cops on me while I was down there because "I was a run-away"...I had been gone for 20 minutes and she dared me to get out of the house. I took her up on that dare.

She sounds sooo much like my stepmom. Ugh she does her evilness very sneaky. She pretends like she is sooo innocent but she is a complete BITCH. This may sound crazy but when I first started growing boobs she started get really like jealous. I hate to say it that way and really didnt believe it at first. I dont have HUGE boobs but they are decent size for my body but her she was super flat but next thing i know she gets boobs implants and didnt even tell my dad until she came home from the surgery. She tries to talk crap about my mom sometimes but in sarcastic ways. Even though I wouldve loved my little brother/sister no matter what im soo glad she never had any kids with my dad ( she has no period due to infertility issues) because she would have compared me and my brother to them all the time and try to make us feel like shit. She use to get mad that we didnt call her mom

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOO.

 

[aidensxmomma]

She sounds sooo much like my stepmom. Ugh she does her evilness very sneaky. She pretends like she is sooo innocent but she is a complete BITCH. This may sound crazy but when I first started growing boobs she started get really like jealous. I hate to say it that way and really didnt believe it at first. I dont have HUGE boobs but they are decent size for my body but her she was super flat but next thing i know she gets boobs implants and didnt even tell my dad until she came home from the surgery. She tries to talk crap about my mom sometimes but in sarcastic ways. Even though I wouldve loved my little brother/sister no matter what im soo glad she never had any kids with my dad ( she has no period due to infertility issues) because she would have compared me and my brother to them all the time and try to make us feel like shit. She use to get mad that we didnt call her mom

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOO.

I think our stepmoms are the same people. My stepmom always tries to act like the stupid shit she says and does is just because she "loves" me. Yeah...whatever. lol. I think my stepmom used to be jealous of how thin I was because she constantly called me fat. I had developed disordered eating at some point while she was saying that stuff (it went on forever) and so I was pretty thin at one point. My stepmom said a bunch of crap about my mom all the time and never even tried to be sly about it. Then my dad got in on it too. I couldn't have imagined what would happen if my stepmom and dad had kids...I probably would have cut myself off from them completely because I would have never heard the end of it. My dad and stepmom actually had a sit-down talk to me and my brother about how Ronni (my stepmom) was our new mom now and we needed to treat her like it. It was ridiculous.

The most recent thing they've done is they just had a huge going away/birthday/graduation party for my stepbrother. What did I get for my birthday/graduation gift in 2009 (my graduation year and my 18th birthday)? I got a card with a $500 check in it. Yeah, thanks. My brother probably won't get jack shit either. Not that I don't appreciate the money, but my dad made an hour long visit that day, handed me the card, and that was about it. This year, he's just sending me my card. He only lived like an hour and a half way...

 

[merakola]

because she "loves" me. [/B]Yeah...whatever. lol. I think my stepmom used to be jealous of how thin I was because she constantly called me fat. I had developed disordered eating at some point while she was saying that stuff (it went on forever) and so I was pretty thin at one point. My stepmom said a bunch of crap about my mom all the time and never even tried to be sly about it. Then my dad got in on it too. I couldn't have imagined what would happen if my stepmom and dad had kids...I probably would have cut myself off from them completely because I would have never heard the end of it. My dad and stepmom actually had a sit-down talk to me and my brother about how Ronni (my stepmom) was our new mom now and we needed to treat her like it. It was ridiculous.

The most recent thing they've done is they just had a huge going away/birthday/graduation party for my stepbrother. What did I get for my birthday/graduation gift in 2009 (my graduation year and my 18th birthday)? I got a card with a $500 check in it. Yeah, thanks. My brother probably won't get jack shit either. Not that I don't appreciate the money, but my dad made an hour long visit that day, handed me the card, and that was about it. This year, he's just sending me my card. He only lived like an hour and a half way...

I absolutely HATE when my dad tells me she acts the way she does because she "loves" me. This lady has never ever said she loved me but my dad claims that actions speak louder than words which proves my point even more. I tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and not try to think all step parents are the same but so far its really true. My dad sat me and my brother down too one day and was asking us to call her mum ( he is from the islands and so is she ) its not happening I mean I call her mom grandma and all that but I dunno that will never happen. She use to get mad when I would tell my friends she was my stepmom . To be honest she has a lot of insecurity issues and tries to make it seem like its everyone else with the problem

and oh when I first told her about OH/DH she talked soooo much crap before meeting him . Im black and he is white so she said that she "dated" a guy that was white and he didnt want to date her exclusively and he didnt want ppl to know so she claimed she he was just using me to have a fling blah blah blah well when she found out he introduce me to his family
she switched her story . He is from Europe so she said she he was only with me because he wanted to become a citizen Like i dunno how anyone can love you and say hurtful things like that.

 

[eviestar]

i dont think it would be horrible of you, do what you think is best for you and baby
x

 

[merakola]

i dont think it would be horrible of you, do what you think is best for you and baby
x

Thanks for your response. I think I will do just that. If I do it here I know I will have DH with me to support me but I think it would get pretty bad here. In north carolina i will not only have my DH but my mom and her side of the family will be there to support me and i wont be hounded down by a group of ppl at one time ( my dad, grandma, my evil stepmother, and little brother [ he is 19 years old and he is kind of like my dad protective] )

I dunno

 

[trinaestella]

Well. Im 13 weeks pregnant and I still havent told my dad side of the family. Some of you may know but if not my dad is not an easy person to talk to. I KNOW he will go crazy!! When I first moved out with DH he went psycho!! He told me that Im going to end up losing my job and DH will make be a stripper to make money since she doesnt care about me anyway & he told DH that I will b lazy and not do anything because Im really selfish ( extreme right) . He said alll of this when he was having a private conversation with both of us ( Had one with him & DH then me & him, so I didnt know what he said about me until DH told me )

Even my mom knows how terrified I am ( they are not together at all they cant stand each other ) She knows that I take my dad's opinion to the heart way to much so she just wants me to take my time to tell him so I wont be stressed since its not healthy

ANYWHOOOOO. to the question

Since me and DH is planning to move to NC with my mom ( she has a 5 bedroom house and it will just be me her DH and the baby. LOTS of space)
Would it be really horrible of me if I just go to NC first and then tell my dad over the phone or something?

Ugh I probably does. I really wish you ladies could meet my dad he is the coolest dad in the world and I wouldnt want any other but he isnt very sympathetic. He hates emotions and everything will turn around on back to him

For example: when I tell him he would most likely say "Mera ( thats my nickname) why did you tell DH or your mom before me ?"

Then he doesnt like DH because he thinks he is using me ( which is definitely NOT the case since right now Im not working and he pays for everything!! & He treats me perfect!!!!! )

Ugh this is getting really long so what do you ladies think?

I got my mum to tell my dad, lol. But in your case there is no way around it you need to just tell him straight up.

 

[DollFaceJessi]

I would so tell him over the phone.
I told my dad across the hospital ER room so he couldnt react.

 

[merakola]

Yea I think I will do it once I get there because my dad isnt a good listener and if he doesnt want to listen to me when I tell him at least he could just hang up which I doubt he will do. Ugh I just wish I could talk to him even if im scared.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Dow what you gotta do, mama.

 

[merakola]

So I talked to my mom about the idea and she thinks its a great idea
We're going to start packing stuff up for me to head up there. DH is going to stay here until the lease expires and continue working to make some more money. That part is going to suck big time since we hardly been apart for a long time but hey it will only be a month or so & at least i have my mom. Im super glad that I have my mom's support not only in the pregnancy but with my whole idea to wait til I get there to tell me my dad.

Thanks for all the advice & support ladies you all were really helpful

 

[oOskittlesOo]

glad you figured it all out!! glad DH will be moving soon with you soon!

 

[merakola]

glad you figured it all out!! glad DH will be moving soon with you soon!

Thanks Its going to make thing soooooooooooooooooooooo much easier

 

[oOskittlesOo]

glad you figured it all out!! glad DH will be moving soon with you soon!

Thanks Its going to make thing soooooooooooooooooooooo much easier

Especially with a nice big hpuse and your mommy being so close!!