Would You Ever Donate Your Eggs/Sperm?

[Jaylynne]

I wouldn't. I can't not wonder what would become of my eggs if someone used them. They are my biological children and I just wouldn't be able to do it. Nor would I want hubby to do it.

However, if my body could handle it, I would be a surrogate with someone else's embryo. But my body can't after LO so I am now hoping to get hubby to look into adoption. There's plenty of children already born who need loving families.

 

[lovie]

I would donate eggs if I was going through IVF and so was having my overies stimulated anyway. I have very many eggs so just stimulation is fairly dangerous for me but there is a high chance of loads of eggs. I wouldn't have an issue with my OH donating sperm, infact I would encourage him to do so as there is no danger/risk in the sperm donation procedure. I have adopted siblings and biologically they are someone elses daughter/son/brother/sister but in my opinions it isnt your DNA that makes you a family it is your feelings and actions that make you a family.

I also have strong ethical objections to the processes involved in most types of IVF. I would prefer to promote adoption/fostering as there are so many children desperately in need of loving homes.

I am interested as to why you feel like this? Don't you also think that those couples who can conceive naturally should adopt/foster instead of having biological children?

 

[freckleonear]

I also have strong ethical objections to the processes involved in most types of IVF. I would prefer to promote adoption/fostering as there are so many children desperately in need of loving homes.

I am interested as to why you feel like this? Don't you also think that those couples who can conceive naturally should adopt/foster instead of having biological children?

No, because having children naturally doesn't involve the destruction of multiple embryos. Of course it's always great to adopt or foster, and my husband and I intend to do so in a few years.

 

[lovie]

IVF also doesn't have to invole the destruction of multiple embyos, you choose what you want to do with the embryos. If we had gotten to that stage we would have frozen the embryos and used them in frozen cycles.

It's all very well to adopt and foster but why didn't you choose to do that before having biological children? Just because your kids were conceived naturally it doesnt mean that you have any more reason to choose to have biological kids than a couple who choose to have biological kids via IVF.

 

[freckleonear]

The point is that IVF often creates embryos which are "sub-standard" or "surplus to requirements". These are either frozen, used for medical science or destroyed. The freezing and thawing process itself kills many of them. Many are discarded at the end of a five or ten year storage period because clinics have lost contact with the parents. Over 90% of embryos created by IVF are never implanted. As someone who believes in the sanctity of human life from conception, I have huge moral and ethical issues with the most common forms of IVF. There are pro-life organisations which offer ethical alternatives, but this isn't widely available or known about.

As for having biological children, we were planning to foster when I was old enough but I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 18. By the time we were expecting our second child, my husband had a rare medical condition which meant he could not pass the application process. Hopefully in a few years his health will be much better and we will start the application process again.

 

[joshiesmum]

The point is that IVF often creates embryos which are "sub-standard" or "surplus to requirements". These are either frozen, used for medical science or destroyed. The freezing and thawing process itself kills many of them. Many are discarded at the end of a five or ten year storage period because clinics have lost contact with the parents. Over 90% of embryos created by IVF are never implanted. As someone who believes in the sanctity of human life from conception, I have huge moral and ethical issues with the most common forms of IVF. There are pro-life organisations which offer ethical alternatives, but this isn't widely available or known about.

As for having biological children, we were planning to foster when I was old enough but I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 18. By the time we were expecting our second child, my husband had a rare medical condition which meant he could not pass the application process. Hopefully in a few years his health will be much better and we will start the application process again.

what a ridiculous thing to say????? You should count yourself lucky you managed to have your children 'naturally'. Ivf is some couples only hope of having a biological child of their own. i find your comments rude and narrow minded...

 

[lovie]

People make substandard embryos all the time just by TTC, those embryos just don't create a pregnancy, it's no different if anembryo is not dividing in a Petridish. If people choose to discard embryos that is their choice it's not the IVF in itself that destroys the embryos it is the couple who choose what happens to tge embryos. It is like saying you are against pregnancy because some people choose to abort, it isn't the pregnancy that causes tge abortion it is the couple who decide to abort.


Why didn't you consider embryo adoption rather than having another child? If you believe in the sanctity of life I assume you will be adopting an embryo rather than creating another life when there are embryos waiting to be adopted? The rules for embryo adoption are much less strict than adoption of a child.

The adoption process for a child is incredibly hard and most of us would be rejected.

 

[freckleonear]

I have no experience of infertility, so I can't imagine how difficult and heart breaking it must be for those in that situation. However that doesn't change my moral beliefs and, as I've already mentioned, there are methods of IVF which don't involve these ethical problems.

The difference between IVF and embryos conceived naturally is that the ones in the womb at least have a chance of life, rather than being deemed "not good enough" by some doctor or scientist. I simply don't believe that humans should ever have the right to decide who gets to live or not, but I have no problem with nature deciding.

 

[lovie]

If you put back an embryo that is not dividing it won't survive, it's not the case that there is a chance, it just won't result in a pregnancy. It's not a Dr decided who gets AAA chance of life it is a Dr saying this isn't a viable pregnancy, in the same way a Dr could say asd ectopic isn't a viable pregnancy yes it's an embryo but it has 0% chance of becoming a baby, would you continue with an ectopic pregnancy because you have no right to terminate that pregnancy however unviable it is?

 

[JASMAK]

Isnt making an embryo in a petri dish so there is a chance at life? They aren't going through it all, for kicks. I do agree with your moral stance, being Catholic, but there ARE ways to give every embryo a chance. Adoption and fostering is NOT for everyone, and I actually dont think people should be told to choose those options first. Adoption costs lots, and it takes the right person to be capable to properly take care of a child that may have abuse, neglect, separation issues (as many do, unless they are from birth). The majority of children needing fostering and adoption have disabilities, emotional, and other issues, often severe. Should just ANY parent have these children? No. They deserve someone who has the time and WANTS that challenge, and yes, it IS a challenge having a child with a disability. I never signed up for it, I was given no choice but my daughter has autism and will never live alone. I often feel not good enough for her. Its easy to live in your happy world of no fertility issues, getting pregnant without thought, but its a comment unnecessary in this debate (not sure why you even threw it in there) and a slap in the face who ARE going down that road....one more thing to make them feel terrible about their situation. I have gone through fertility treatments, and after saying NO to adoption, and I won't let someone who lives in 'perfect and fertile land' make me feel guilty for one second.

 

[freckleonear]

The original question was would you donate your eggs? I said no, because I would not want them used in IVF due to ethical issues. Someone then asked about my reasons and I replied, I'm not interested in getting drawn into a debate about it.

 

[lovie]

The original question was would you donate your eggs? I said no, because I would not want them used in IVF due to ethical issues. Someone then asked about my reasons and I replied, I'm not interested in getting drawn into a debate about it.

Unfortunatly your opinion of IVF is uneducated and illogical and to me as someone who very nearly needed IVF and has enjoyed seeing some very dear friends become amazing parents through IVF I find your opinion ofensive. You are happy to be judgemental about the legnths infertile couples would go to to have a baby but you are not willing to say if you would terminate an ectopic pregnancy. I would spend a little longer looking at yourself before you go saying that you would prefere to promote adoption to infertile couples... Why don't you promote adoption by supporting local childrens and young peoples charities? Why didin't you support adoption and the sanctity of life by choosing to have another persons embryo implanted into you rather than creating your own kids? I guess the answere is because you wanted your own biological kids, thats a 100% valid reason, just try to live by your own morals before you judge other people with them.

 

[JASMAK]

No I would not. I believe that my children are my responsibility to care for, and I couldn't handle not knowing whether how they were being brought up. I also have strong ethical objections to the processes involved in most types of IVF. I would prefer to promote adoption/fostering as there are so many children desperately in need of loving homes.

The original question was would you donate your eggs? I said no, because I would not want them used in IVF due to ethical issues. Someone then asked about my reasons and I replied, I'm not interested in getting drawn into a debate about it.

Actually, the first was your original response. Which, of course, would elicit a question as to why. If you didnt want to debate it, then dont you think it should be left out entirely.

 

[freckleonear]

The original question was would you donate your eggs? I said no, because I would not want them used in IVF due to ethical issues. Someone then asked about my reasons and I replied, I'm not interested in getting drawn into a debate about it.

Unfortunatly your opinion of IVF is uneducated and illogical and to me as someone who very nearly needed IVF and has enjoyed seeing some very dear friends become amazing parents through IVF I find your opinion ofensive. You are happy to be judgemental about the legnths infertile couples would go to to have a baby but you are not willing to say if you would terminate an ectopic pregnancy. I would spend a little longer looking at yourself before you go saying that you would prefere to promote adoption to infertile couples... Why don't you promote adoption by supporting local childrens and young peoples charities? Why didin't you support adoption and the sanctity of life by choosing to have another persons embryo implanted into you rather than creating your own kids? I guess the answere is because you wanted your own biological kids, thats a 100% valid reason, just try to live by your own morals before you judge other people with them.

I'm not judging other people, I'm well aware that my beliefs are idealistic and that practically things don't work the way I would like. I gave MY reasons as to why I would not donate MY eggs and be involved in IVF. I don't really see the relevance of your questions to the discussion, but you seem to be making a lot of personal assumptions about me.

I had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy when I was minutes away from bleeding to death. Morally that horrifies me, but practically there was no choice as the situation was either going to end in one death or two.

My husband and I ARE involved with supporting local social services and children's charities, as fostering is something extremely close to our hearts for personal reasons.

Embryo adoption isn't really an option in the UK as far as I'm aware, I've only heard about it happening in the USA.

 

[robinator]

Nope, I wouldn't donate.

 

[lovie]

I'm not judging other people, I'm well aware that my beliefs are idealistic and that practically things don't work the way I would like. I gave MY reasons as to why I would not donate MY eggs and be involved in IVF. I don't really see the relevance of your questions to the discussion, but you seem to be making a lot of personal assumptions about me.

I had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy when I was minutes away from bleeding to death. Morally that horrifies me, but practically there was no choice as the situation was either going to end in one death or two.

you said "I also have strong ethical objections to the processes involved in most types of IVF" fair enough (apart your ethical reasons being somwhat flawed). The bit that offended me was your "I would prefer to promote adoption/fostering as there are so many children desperately in need of loving homes" again I think your opinion of adoption is uneducated, the way you tagged that onto your ethical objections to IVF made it sound like infertile couples should adopt rather than search for answeres to their infertility problems.

I am sorry for your loss with your ectopic pregnancy. I would think that you having had that experience would have made you a little more open minded to the grey areas between right and wrong, life and death. Infertility and the desire for a child is something that you could never begin to understand in the same way that terminating a pregnancy because your own life is at risk is something I could never begin to understand. you share this forum with many women who have first hand experience of IVF I know this is the debate forum but even so I feel like it would be kind and thoughtful if you avoided insinuating that infertile couple should just adopt when you have no perspective on how it feels to be infertile.

 

[JASMAK]

I'm not judging other people, I'm well aware that my beliefs are idealistic and that practically things don't work the way I would like. I gave MY reasons as to why I would not donate MY eggs and be involved in IVF. I don't really see the relevance of your questions to the discussion, but you seem to be making a lot of personal assumptions about me.

I had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy when I was minutes away from bleeding to death. Morally that horrifies me, but practically there was no choice as the situation was either going to end in one death or two.

you said "I also have strong ethical objections to the processes involved in most types of IVF" fair enough (apart your ethical reasons being somwhat flawed). The bit that offended me was your "I would prefer to promote adoption/fostering as there are so many children desperately in need of loving homes" again I think your opinion of adoption is uneducated, the way you tagged that onto your ethical objections to IVF made it sound like infertile couples should adopt rather than search for answeres to their infertility problems.

I am sorry for your loss with your ectopic pregnancy. I would think that you having had that experience would have made you a little more open minded to the grey areas between right and wrong, life and death. Infertility and the desire for a child is something that you could never begin to understand in the same way that terminating a pregnancy because your own life is at risk is something I could never begin to understand. you share this forum with many women who have first hand experience of IVF I know this is the debate forum but even so I feel like it would be kind and thoughtful if you avoided insinuating that infertile couple should just adopt when you have no perspective on how it feels to be infertile.

Well said and agree!!!

 

[Sarahkka]

While I don't share frecklonear's opinion, I didn't find her opinion to be insulting or uneducated.
I may not agree with her ethical stance on this or many other issues, but I have always found her debate respectful and well-thought out. I enjoy hearing her opinion and arguing with her!
Just as we must consider the place of parents who are struggling with fertility, we also need to be inclusive of the voices of people who don't share our beliefs. I understand how some of these things can strike a little close to home, but isn't the idea of the debates section to allow for spirited argument without getting too personal?
I guess that I am just trying to say that both voices are valid?

 

[JASMAK]

I think it really borders on this:
"While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum."

 

[Sarahkka]

I think it really borders on this:
"While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum."

I agree. While I may not share the same definition of where life starts, I do respect everyone's right to have a choice and a voice on this.
I think that the direction this debate is going could be starting to head towards that rule, too.