Would you fly or drive?

[WantsALittle1]

We have a big trip planned for the first week of November and hubby and I are debating whether to fly or drive. We have three LOs ages 4, 2, and 2 months. The drive would be 19 hours and would go through some beautiful country. I'm all for it. The flight would be 2.5 hours. That's what DH wants.

I am just super, super paranoid about ending up with a sick baby in another state. Our youngest will be 4 months and is breastfed, but I know we are still sort of in the 'danger zone' until she hits the 6-month mark. The last time we flew to another state, DS wound up admitted to the hospital due to intussusception and DD#1 had a high fever and we had to take her to the ER. We spent our whole vacation in the hospital. Poor DD was just miserable the whole trip because the ER said there was nothing we could do for her except let the virus pass. She wasn't in day care at the time, so I am almost positive that she caught something from the plane.

Also, this trip is costing us tons of money. So even if it's just a little cold that they catch, I will be heartbroken if we are confined to the hotel and they don't feel like going out to the activities where we're going. DH says I'm being ridiculous and that airplane cabin air is recycled constantly and the risks are low.

I don't agree with him--while 4 of us will have had flu shots, the baby won't be old enough. Flu and RSV are my biggest fear. She will have had her second TDAP by then so I'm not as worried about whooping cough. Everything I've seen says that if you sit next to someone sick on a plane, there is very little you can do to avoid the germs from them coughing or sneezing. Wiping with antibac wipes will do nothing for rebreathing their air. Only masks would help, but I don't foresee us being able to get our 4yo and 2yo to keep masks on.

 

[cjb]

19 hours is a long drive. How long are you planning on it taking. I guess if you drove through the night. At least the kids would be asleep for a big chunk of it so wouldnt be to bad to do the other hours with them awake.. ( but would be hard on the drivers) also i guess youd then miss the country side but im guessing thats not going to entertain kids that much.

Havent really got much advice. But due to your previous experience i can see why you would want to drive. Im guessing if that hadnt happen flying would be easier.

Are the kids good in the car? How many stops would you have to make to feed baby.?

 

[LoraLoo]

I would get the flight

 

[jessmke]

I would fly, especially since babies are not supposed to be in a car seat for more than 2 hrs at a time it would make the drive even longer if you have to stop every couple hours. My LO has flown 4 times in the last 9 months, the first time was when we went to Mexico when she was 10 weeks old.

 

[staralfur]

We drove a 12 hour drive (which ended up being more like a full day) with my LO when she was 4 months old and honestly I'd never do it again. It could have just been because my LO was high needs and basically cried whenever she wasn't nursing, but she was miserable the whole time and it was so stressful. We were lucky to make it 2.5 hours without having to stop so she could nurse/snuggle for a bit so that obviously added a lot of time to our trip because we were stopping for up to an hour at a time. I also think you're not supposed to leave a baby in a car seat much longer than that anyway. Even splitting it up over two days would probably be two very full days of driving and two days you could have been enjoying your vacation. My LO is really, really good in the car now at 4 and we've done a lot of 10+ hour drives with her now that she's older but she definitely doesn't enjoy it. She tolerates it but there are a million things she'd rather be doing and she gets uncomfortable after a full day in her car seat, even with frequent stops.

So I'd definitely fly in your situation. It will give you more time to enjoy your vacation and it's less boring/uncomfortable/stressful travel time for the kids. I think your last experience with the kids getting really sick is unlikely to happen again. We've flown multiple times with my LO and she's never gotten so much as a sniffle.

 

[minties]

I would fly, no doubt about it. It would be a terribly long time in a car for the kids. Mine get ratty just driving to my great grandmas (2hrs 20m away).

 

[Itsychik]

I totally get your worry about your LO's getting sick. We've taken my two oldest children on an inter-continental flight at 2 months old (a week following their first vaccinations) because I refused to fly with them before they'd had their first set of vaccinations (but we were visiting my family who live in another continent). However, we've never caught anything on a plane (each of my two oldest have been on more than 10 flights) and knowing how each of my babies have been in their car seats, I cannot fathom trying to drive 19 hours with them (does that include the 30-minute stop every 2 - 3 hours to feed the baby?).

Flying can be expensive as well, but if you're able to afford it that would be my personal preference as well.

 

[Zephram]

A 19 hour drive is not even an option in my opinion! That is a crazy long time to have kids in the car for. Unless you're planning to split it into 3 legs and take 3 days to do it, stopping overnight, taking the time to get your kids out of the car to stretch legs, eat, pee, feed baby, etc, then I would absolutely fly.

Earlier this year we went on holiday when my kids were almost 3 and a half and 7 months and it was HELL in the car. A 5.5 hour drive took us 7.5 hours with all the stops and the baby did not cope at all. He basically cried for 5 hours and wouldn't feed properly when we stopped. I would never do it again with young kids. I just cannot imagine having 3 young children confined to a car for 19 hours!! The thought of it is making me freak!!

To be frank, I think you're over reacting about your kids getting sick from being on a plane. They're just as likely to get sick just going to the supermarket as going on a plane. Make it easy on yourself and fly there.

 

[SpringCrane]

We flew with my baby at 3.5 months and 4.5 months, and my older son has flown a ton. Neither have ever been ill from flying, but I have seen some parents wipe down all surfaces with antibacterial wipes... I usually pack them but have not once remembered to use them

Could you keep baby in a wrap most of the time to reduce exposure? Or buy baby a seat and keep him/her in the car seat most of time? You can do the same for your older kids. My 3 y/o sits in his car seat on flights still.

My baby screams on drives longer than 5 minutes, so a 19 hour drive is just unfathomable to me... But if that works for your family, then go for it! I agree with other posters about generally reducing baby's time in a car seat, but one trip of extended use isn't likely a problem; I think the concern is overuse on a daily basis (letting baby nap in seat every day, etc).

 

[noon_child]

A 5.5 hour drive took us 7.5 hours with all the stops and the baby did not cope at all. He basically cried for 5 hours and wouldn't feed properly when we stopped. I would never do it again with young kids. I just cannot imagine having 3 young children confined to a car for 19 hours!! The thought of it is making me freak!!

This was my experience of long car journeys too. I think the 2 and 4 yr old will get pretty bored and whiney too, unless you are splitting it over 4 days or something.

 

[CRWx]

I would fly, 2.5 hours compared to almost a full day is a no brainer for me. No amount of scenery could keep me in a car with my 6.5 month for that long let alone 3 children.

Your kids are just as likely to get ill anywhere as on a plane... I would say it was bad timing, not the plane. Your kids will end up more upset, cranky and tired after a drive that long compared to a 2.5 flight.

 

[WantsALittle1]

OP here. Sorry for my delay in responding. Things have been so insanely busy, still getting used to this three kiddo thing!

So I wanted to say THANK YOU for everyone's feedback. After much deliberation we have decided to take our chances with flying. I'm kind of sad because I love road trips, but it's just too complicated to consider driving. We had already planned to stop for 30 min every 2 hours to let all three kiddos stretch, and that would have made the 9 hours per day that we have to cover take FOREVER. Why start our vacation off that way, right?

So we are planning to fly now. MIL will be coming with us on the plane, so luckily we will have one grownup per kid, and hopefully in doing so we can shield all three kiddos from germs as much as possible. We got a seat for the 4 mo so hopefully we can cover her and keep her germ-free in her carseat. I would not have as much confidence if I were lap-carrying her the entire time, but this way I can have her mostly covered in the car seat, and just take her out for nursing and hopefully just one diaper change. I hope we don't have any blowouts, because she has a tendency for massive blowouts at the least convenient times possible I really appreciate everyone's advice, thank you again!

PS. FWIW I have heard that airplane bathrooms are one of the WORST places on airplanes as far as germs are concerned (not just bacteria germs, but viruses too), so I am going to be going heavy on the antibacterial wipes for pretty much the entire plane trip, and especially on the bathroom changing table!

 

[Left wonderin]

Flying is a good choice can I ask off topic how is it with a 4 , 2 and a newborn ? If I were to go again this is what I'd be like ?

 

[Zephram]

I really think you're overreacting about germs on the plane! I don't think you need to stress about taking antibacterial wipes and wiping every surface, you're just going to stress yourself out doing this. Try to relax, it will be fine!

 

[SpringCrane]

I really think you're overreacting about germs on the plane! I don't think you need to stress about taking antibacterial wipes and wiping every surface, you're just going to stress yourself out doing this. Try to relax, it will be fine!

I agree, but as someone with anxiety (not about germs, but plenty of other things!), it's nearly impossible to just not stress about it. I fully appreciate you're trying to reassure the OP, but I also don't want her feeling any negative feelings for not being able to just relax about it.

I hope this doesn't come off as rude or offensive, or off topic!

 

[WantsALittle1]

Flying is a good choice can I ask off topic how is it with a 4 , 2 and a newborn ? If I were to go again this is what I'd be like ?

It is actually not anywhere as crazy as I thought it would be. My 4 yo just started preschool, so my mornings are pretty mellow with just my 2 yo and baby girl home with me. When I have all 3 at once, the biggest issue is really the conflicts between the 4 yo and 2 yo, which is part of their ages I think. For the most part they are best buds but sometimes they just get on each orher's nerves. The biggest challenge is in ensuring that every kiddo gets ample time where they are the focus of attention each day, and that they aren't always being addressed as a group. We have noticed the crankiness all but disappears when the two older kids are separated.

Another issue is illness. My 4 yo and 2 yo do bring a lot of sickness home. We had a nasty cold/cough go through the older kids when the baby was 6 weeks old, and we are currently working through a vomit sickness in my older kids. It is really tough to shield the baby from catching it when something awful is working its way through the older kids. So far baby girl hasn't gotten sick but my hands are cracked and raw from washing so much :/ I am washing my hands all day long, in between the three kids, to try to stop the various sicknesses from going between them.

 

[WantsALittle1]

I really think you're overreacting about germs on the plane! I don't think you need to stress about taking antibacterial wipes and wiping every surface, you're just going to stress yourself out doing this. Try to relax, it will be fine!

I agree, but as someone with anxiety (not about germs, but plenty of other things!), it's nearly impossible to just not stress about it. I fully appreciate you're trying to reassure the OP, but I also don't want her feeling any negative feelings for not being able to just relax about it.

I hope this doesn't come off as rude or offensive, or off topic!

I do appreciate this, thank you Springcrane

My oldest daughter spent the first 35 days of her life in a hospital. For 4 of those days I couldn't even hold her and for the rest I was glued to machines watching her go in and out of scary desats and bradys. She had to get several Synagis injections to protect her from RSV for the first 6 months of her life and we had to diligently cocoon her through the first flu season. My son was admitted to a children's hospital for two days at 4 months for an intussusception scare. My son's admission still brings me to tears. Long story short but the whole admission was unnecessary and the hospital pediatric surgeon apologized profusely for what the Pediatric ward put us through.

Suffice it to say I still have emotional trauma from both hospitalizations, and would do anything to keep my youngest from ending up in the hospital. There are some things we can't control, but there are some where we may have a little control, and contagious illness is one of them. I don't think that wiping down plane surfaces and keeping a car seat covered is excessive when taking a partially vaccinated infant on a plane during flu/RSV/pertussis season. Any of those illnesses could lead to a hospitalization, and she has basically no protection from them. She will only have had two DTaPs by the time we fly, and she can't get the flu shot until 6 mo. There is no way to protect her from RSV. I would rather make an effort to protect her and let people think I look silly than end up with another child in hospital.