would you phone the police if a neighbours baby was crying?

[special_kala]

I'd be the kind of person to call the police if I didn't know the family well-- not to get someone in trouble and not to make them feel awkward. Here's my personal reasoning:
There are so many cases of abuse or neglect that don't get caught because of the "it's none of my business" attitude. If a baby had prolonged screaming fits (more than 10 minutes, imo, not hours like others have indicated), I know it could be for a plethora of reasons. What could occur if I knock on your door? 1) everything could be fine and you still feel awkward about having a crying baby in a flat, 2) everything could appear fine when in reality the child suffers neglect or abuse and I'm not trained to spot it nor of the authority to enter the premises to discover it, 3) you actually are passed out and don't answer, 4) baby is obviously suffering neglect/abuse and I don't have the authority/physical strength to do anything about it and it gives you time to hide it before the police get there. If the parents are terrible people, a knock on the door from a neighbor could spur further abuse as "punishment" for attracting attention.
Calling the police is the best option really. They have the ability to spot, document, and stop any abuse/neglect that's happening to the child without enough warning for the parent to cover it up. If everything is fine, the parents have nothing to worry about, but the opportunity to ask an authority for help if a doctor or nurse or advice is needed.
Cops are here to help and serve in many capacities, and most of them love helping people and do an admirable job. I appreciate it if they take the time to make sure a child who can't help themselves is okay and never would that be a waste of police time. You'd never call it a waste if the child were actually in trouble and the call alerted them to a bad situation. It's not a waste if it happens to be a false alarm. False alarms are natural side effect of increasing the occurrence of positive catches and preventing anyone from slipping through the cracks.

Completely agree.

When we read about cases of abuse that slipped through the net how many of us say why didnt someone do something. Surely its better to be overcautious and 99/100 people be put out but innocent.

That one childwho was in trouble will never be saved if people just think none of my business/not my problem.

 

[catty]

Well I feel so much better now. I have been told that the police call said a baby had been crying for 10 minutes. The police put it as a false alarm and said parents trying to get baby to sleep no further action to be taken. I feel like a massive weight is off my shoulders!!

At the end of the day yes im happy people are looking oyt for the welfare of my child but I just cant understand anyones reasong for not waiting more than 10 mins but thats just me. Im going to puy this behind me now, new year and all

 

[Noodlebear]

I would call the police if it'd been going on for a while but if your LO had genuinely only been crying for the length of time you described and the neighbours claimed it'd been going on for hours it doesn't sound like they were trying to do a good deed at all.

EDIT : Saw your above comment, glad it's been resolved. Crazy to jump right in and phone the police because of a crying baby

 

[staralfur]

I would call the police if it'd been going on for a while but if your LO had genuinely only been crying for the length of time you described and the nighbours claimed it'd been going on for hours it doesn't sound like they were trying to do a good deed at all.

Bingo. The fact that they lied about how long the baby was crying is what makes this situation different than the people saying they would call out of concern for the baby.

Edit: Just saw OP's last post so I guess this is irrelevant now.

 

[pink_bow]

Jeez this thread has made me feel like a crap mother. My little girl cries for more than 20 mins all the time, that's just how she is, she's very "spirited"

OP I hope you have an easer night and no police come knocking !

 

[Noodlebear]

Jeez this thread has made me feel like a crap mother. My little girl cries for more than 20 mins all the time, that's just how she is, she's very "spirited"

OP I hope you have an easer night and no police come knocking !

Is it bad that my first thought then was to New Year's parties and 'Police men' Might not be such a bad thing if one of them came knocking for the OP! Have a lovely chilled evening and don't fret about it x

 

[weejenb]

God no, I wouldn't call the police for 30 minutes of crying. Thank god our neighbours through the wall have kids. When my LO was younger and had colic, he could cry relentlessly for I don't even know long it was, I didn't clock watch. I could hold him every way and sing every nursery rhyme under the sun but nothing would stop it. If somebody had called the police on me during those days, it would have broken me and made me seriously further doubt my parenting skills. I hear their kids crying too, but never for any length of time that concerns me. Kids cry. Yes, your neighbours may have no experience of babies but still, if they were so concerned why not just knock on the door and ask if you needed help, in a friendly manner.

OP, I would ask them about this in a non-confrontational way, just explain the situation and make it clear that calling the police in that situation was completely unnecessary and very distressing for you.

Yes, abuse cases often go unreported. But crying is usually not indicative of abuse. Just because it could be doesn't mean it warrants a call. Lots of things could indicate abuse, but usually don't. Toddler bruises, messy faces, dirty clothes... The list goes on. Hearing one bout of crying would not make me reach for the phone and call the police.

 

[JessyG]

I genuinely cant believe someone called the police and said a baby has been crying for ten mins!

I think now we all have to worry if thats the cut off for a police visit. I would be on first name terms with them by now!

 

[littleone2010]

God no, I wouldn't call the police for 30 minutes of crying. Thank god our neighbours through the wall have kids. When my LO was younger and had colic, he could cry relentlessly for I don't even know long it was, I didn't clock watch. I could hold him every way and sing every nursery rhyme under the sun but nothing would stop it. If somebody had called the police on me during those days, it would have broken me and made me seriously further doubt my parenting skills. I hear their kids crying too, but never for any length of time that concerns me. Kids cry. Yes, your neighbours may have no experience of babies but still, if they were so concerned why not just knock on the door and ask if you needed help, in a friendly manner.

OP, I would ask them about this in a non-confrontational way, just explain the situation and make it clear that calling the police in that situation was completely unnecessary and very distressing for you.

Yes, abuse cases often go unreported. But crying is usually not indicative of abuse. Just because it could be doesn't mean it warrants a call. Lots of things could indicate abuse, but usually don't. Toddler bruises, messy faces, dirty clothes... The list goes on. Hearing one bout of crying would not make me reach for the phone and call the police.

Exactly this.

 

[MommyJogger]

Yes, but there are also many, many babies who won't cry for that long even if something is wrong. They give up more easily or go into shock if they've been hurt or concussed. It's impossible to know which kind of baby lives there or what may have happened. There's no harm in a police check-in.

Yes, there is harm. Subjecting an already frazzled, exhausted mother with a cranky baby to a police interrogation because she couldn't calm down her baby within 10 minutes is absolutely harmful to her psychological health. Parenting a fussy baby is emotionally trying enough without having your neighbors and the police questioning you every time you try to put them down for a nap.

Why not call the police as soon as the baby cries? Maybe it's a baby who never ever cries except when they're being abused. Or maybe it's not a baby at all, maybe it's an expensive albino peacock that was stolen from the zoo and needs special medication. I'd call the police just in case.

Please, it's hardly an interrogation for them to show up and ask if everything is all right. They didn't take her down to the station for questioning or demand the baby be examined by a doctor to look for signs of abuse or take the baby into custody pending investigation.
Calling the police as soon as a baby cries is a huge jump from calling after prolonged crying. If this had been a news story of a dead baby and no one had called the police, people would be in disbelief that no one around cared enough about the baby's welfare to call it in just in case.

ETA: and I say all this as someone who would have had the cops over multiple times, especially in the early days before we figured out his cmpi he would cry for hours. Never would I be offended at someone's obvious concern for my child.

 

[aliss]

As a 911 dispatcher I have dealt with this a few times. If I recall, nobody really phones to say 'omg she's beating the baby' or whatever - it's just a genuine concern and a 'check welfare'.

FYI there have been instances where the child cries like this because something has happened to the parent, and not necessarily out of malice. Seizure, trip and fall, whatever.

There is no interrogation involved, remember that most police officers are parents themselves and are quite understanding. Do not forget that in policing, you deal with seizing infants from crackheads, there is hardly any animosity towards normal parents dealing with fussy babies. It's strictly a CYA thing and rarely even generates a report beyond 1 sentence.

Nobody should ever feel discouraged to call and check on a child's welfare with a GENUINE but unfounded concern. Harassment exists, but that's not just one call, it's a pattern of malice.

I have been told by a woman once that her kid crying was just a trip and fall, well, it wasn't. Another dispatcher might have said okay and let it go. I didn't. It was an intuition, and I was right. Fortunately, most of the time, people are wrong, and that's okay too.

 

[catty]

I genuinely cant believe someone called the police and said a baby has been crying for ten mins!

I think now we all have to worry if thats the cut off for a police visit. I would be on first name terms with them by now!

If anyone else had posted this is would have been a little dubious as to whether they slightly exaggerated the times, but this is the honest truth. God I know makes you a little worried about what there thinking. I really hope they didnt think I was abusing him

 

[Andypanda6570]

I would call in a heartbeat.. better safe than sorry, i'm not there I don't know what is going on, nothing says ur a bad mother, it says your neighbors actually give a shit, which is rare.. Appreciate it

 

[laila 44]

Honestly for me to even contemplate calling the police it would have to be non stop crazy all day type crying. Then maybe I would contact someone but definately not ever for a baby crying 10 minutes.

 

[Fergie]

No I wouldn't call the police straight off. I would knock the door first and see if there was an issue.

Seems a bit over the top phoning the police straight away.

 

[Leeloo]

It would depend on the age and the type of crying. My LO cried a lot when she was a newborn and I share a wall with neighbors on both sides. I was kind of surprised I never had a cop at my door.

 

[NoodleSnack]

While baby's do cry screaming for half an hour means something's wrong. While I'm sure your pissed off think about it this way, they had your child's best interests at heart.

For all they knew something could have happened to you, you could have passed out or something and that's why LO was crying none stop.

This was what I thought at first but it's not true, if they were really concerned they could have knocked on her door to ask. If she's passed out, leaving a baby alone to wait for the police is not right.

 

[Jchihuahua]

My middle child Tommy screamed constantly all day every day pretty much for months as he had terrible colic and silent reflux as a baby. Nothing could calm him at all and we tried everything. I said on a few occasions that I was expecting SS to turn up one day as he cried so much. I would have been mortified if the police came to my door about it though.

 

[annio84]

I think what we need to keep in mind is that the neighbours assumed to have done this are students in their 20s. We are all mothers here and know what babies are like but I know until I had DD if I'd heard a baby scream the way she does sometimes even for just 10 minutes I would have thought that something was terribly wrong. And if I believed that a child was at risk then I would do something about it.

For the people calling the neighbours cowards and saying their wrong not to check themselves, well maybe that would have been more rational but we don't know what sort of area the OP lives in - maybe they didn't feel safe and if there had been a child at risk then it's better to do something rather than nothing. As for not right to leave the baby if mother was passed out - how would they know even if they did knock on the door? Attitudes like this are only going to make people take an 'it's not my problem' position and then children who really are being abused and do need help may be ignored.

 

[pinklightbulb]

For 10 minutes? Hell no. Waste of time. My sons both screamed longer than that and if the cops had showed up after 10 minutes of one screaming jag, they'd have been politely asked to settle the baby themselves, lol.