Wow how rude

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by kates84, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Hi all,

    I'm afraid I just had a heated discussion with a neighbour/friend.

    Not to get in to a debate about the rights or wrongs she basically said that the two boys who killed little Jamie Bulger should have been hung straight away. I said that under no circumstances could I condone hanging a 10 year old.

    Her response?

    "Well I hope you never have any children you just don't deserve them".

    Ouch. I don't think she really thought about what she said but it feels like she put a curse on me.

    Although she wants this person she never wants to have children to babysit her 10 month old twins tonight (again).

    How do you guys control yourselves when people make comments that sting? I just said "I wont dignify that with a response" but now I'm wondering how I could handle things better if I get more careless comments.

    I honestly don't think I would ever tell a woman she didn't deserve children unless I caught her eating babies or something.
     
  2. meltanton

    meltanton Mum of1,2angels&expecting

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    OMFG! i wont say the word that comes to mind but it beings with a "C" and its not c*w! I cant believe that 1- she would say something like that about hanging children, whatever they had done i dont believe killing is the answer anyway, but to then go on and say you dont deserve children and hope u never have any purely because u dont agree with her opinion is completely horrendous! You dont say that to people! I wouldnt say that to my worse enemy!

    I dont know how you kept your cool, i think i would have slapped her.
    Does she have any kids?

    Ignore her, shes a stupid woman. You will have your baby :)
    xxx
     
  3. Babylady

    Babylady Well-Known Member

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    That is an awful thing of her to say and I don't think you have to worry about doing or saying anything other than walking away from someone who so clearly doesn't respect other people's opinions or feelings.

    Grrrr, I don't think I would've been responsible for my actions but do have AF visiting so am sure I could blame her! ;)
     
  4. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Thats the crazy thing - she doesn't want me to have to children because I'm so awful.

    But she wants me to yet AGAIN babysit her 10 month old twins! Cheek!
     
  5. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    aww ....
    maybe id want more action to be done in that case and maybe now there older... erm well lol....

    but i think sometimes dont matter what other person thinks we should keep opnions like that to themself and wasnt fair her to say that to you, i do think 'mums' think differently about that kind of situation though, i know as a mum thought of people doing that well not worth thinking about.

    i was walking children to school this morning and seen my 'friend' our boys was walking nicely and out of nowhere her son started hitting mine and pushed him in the road a car had to ermergency stop!! anyway i go really angry and told her to learn to control her kids and out of share anger i said i think you should learn to control ones you have before you have another ... and she basically said to me ' least i can have more' ... i think its just an example that people say things without thinking when they feel strong about something xxx
     
  6. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Thanks Gemma, I do get totally that it's a very very emotive subject and everybody is entitled to their opinions. I just didn't want to hear graphic descriptions of how 2 kids (maybe evil kids but still kids) should have been executed. I was quite happily sitting there watching my dogtanian DVD until she came round.
     
  7. Gemmamumof2

    Gemmamumof2 mummy of 2 ttc 3rd x

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    i agree... as 10 years olds.

    just dont take it personally some people say things they later regret, you may had hit eachothers nerves lol
     
  8. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Frankly I think she should be doubting my ability to be a parent much more because of the fact she caught me watching 80's cartoons and singing the theme tunes like a prat rather than my opinions on capital punishment.

    Shamed.
     
  9. meltanton

    meltanton Mum of1,2angels&expecting

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    I think you should tell her to find someone else to babysit her kids.and maybe she should spend more time looking after her own than telling others they dont deserve kids. Some people need to be careful wot they say even if it is a touchy subject or sokmethign they think strongly about. We should all think first before opening our mouths becoz r words n actions can hurt others.

    And u r a pure crank Kate lol! dont be ashamed..we all have embarrasign secrets lol x
     
  10. wantingagirl

    wantingagirl Well-Known Member

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    ha so let me get this straight hun..... if her 10 month old child in 10 years old time did that to someone and she couldnt control what he had done like these killers parents then she would be all for having her child (well you know what I cant say it) but you shouldnt be a mother cos you are caring. AS IF you are going to be the very best mother in the world hun and she can go swivel and doesnt sound like a very nice person xxx
     
  11. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Thanks love. She just sent me a text apologising so it's all good in the hood now.

    In all honesty, she is a good Mum but her family have disowned her because the babies are mixed race - stupid people - which is why I babysit a lot. They are gorgeous little things and I've had a lot to do with them and am going to be a godmother when they get christened in March. She's a hotheaded big mouthed wally sometimes but she's good underneath all that.
     
  12. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Aww darlin, thanks so much. That's a really sweet thing to say. I just posted above though, she's said sorry so we're good now - until next time lol xxxxx
     
  13. wantingagirl

    wantingagirl Well-Known Member

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    ahh sweet, mouth before head engages :haha:

    yay godmother lots of practice before the read deal :happydance: xxx
     
  14. meltanton

    meltanton Mum of1,2angels&expecting

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    well im glad she apologised, and maybe shel think first next time.
    I hate these people who disown people for things like that. I knwo its abit diff but a girl i knows been disowned by her fam because shes gay. I thought it was different in this day and age...obv not.

    Bet you love babysitting :) lol
    x
     
  15. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Oh I do love babysitting them. They are gorgeous, a boy and a girl and I could just Nom them up sometimes.

    They do make me hope to not have multiples though - eh gad!
     
  16. lovie

    lovie Mamma to a baby boy

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    oh how ridiculous! how can your veiw that a child should not be hung give her the right to say even think that you wouldnt make an amazing mother, and so hypercriticle to want you to care for her babies!!! i dont beleive a civilised society kills people, and I certainly dont think that children should be killed before they have even left primary school.

    Maybe you should say to her that if she feels that strongly about the subject them why doesnt she go and do some volentry work for children from underprivaledged backgrounds to try and put something back into her comunity, and maybe prevent other children form getting into situations where they commit crimes.

    one day you will be a super mum, dont let this get you:hugs: xxx
     
  17. kates84

    kates84 Mum to one

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    Thank you honey it means a lot that people seem to think I'll manage to raise a child without scarring it for life!

    She's honestly ok really, I don't think she really believes half the things she says, she just gets caught up in the moment, gets on a soapbox and thinks everyone else is wrong. She's apologised now but if there is a next time I'll be sure to give her a short sharp mental slap
     
  18. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    no call for her reply at all ! what a bitch.
     
  19. debralouise

    debralouise Mummy to Grace and Jack x

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    I think your reply was spot on, I certainly wouldne have justified that with an answer either.
    Some people just don't think at all xx xx
     

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