WRONG gender assessment--so angry!

[ChocolateC]

Okay, so listen to this one, ladies: I got an early gender assessment at 17 weeks 6 days, because I learned that in Canada they're not supposed to tell you gender at the 18-20 week anatomy ultrasound. I went with my parents and we were SO excited to see it was a girl! The technician was totally certain, and we saw the "hamburger bun" that was labia, though we only saw it from the back view.

9 days later, I had the anatomy scan, and sure enough, they refused to tell me anything gender-related. Then I went on a month-long trip and had beautiful daydreams about my little girl, told my entire family, chose the name, and just felt awesome.

Today I had an appointment with my maternity doctor. I said "it's so exciting I'm having a girl." She said, "what did you think it was?" Turns out that when the anatomy scan was analyzed, they thought it was a BOY. This information was given to my doctor, but not me, and for the past 5.5 weeks I'd thought girl. I am SO mad. Who is wrong?? What happened? I feel like my emotions are being screwed. So now I have to tell my extended family and friends, "sorry, guys, it's actually a boy." But how can I know for sure now, what if the other people were wrong??? I got so emotionally invested in the girl thing. This is SO freaking frustrating!

 

[babypumpkin]

Aww Hun I'm so sorry that's awful!! Sending you big hugs! Xxx

 

[Louise88]

I'm so sorry hun, unfortunately no scan is 100% accurate on gender, their are woman who are told their having a girl or boy then give birth to the opposite sex. unless you can afford another scan for a second oppinion on babies sex i'd just stick to gender neutral clothing etc. Im so sorry this has happened hun xx

 

[jesssika]

Shouldn't the place you got the specific gender scan re scan you for free?

 

[lovehearts]

I'd have another gender scan.

I'd be more inclined to believe the gender scan tbh as that was the reason for the scan so all they looked at where as the anomaly scan is done to check lots of things so they would have had a quick check of gender but not concentrate on that alone.

I'd speak to the place you had your gender scan and see if they can I've you a discount on another scan (or even free)

Xx

 

[Kirstiedenman]

I am in a similar situation and i feel your frustration! I had my anatomy scan at 19 and 5 and I was told not 100% certain but pretty sure it's a boy. I was worried so I I got my dr to resan at 20 and 2 and she said she can see no boy parts but didn't see girl parts either. She said there was 3 angle where if it was a boy they would be visible but werent, so I am now back to team yellow if I were you and you really want to know I would get another gender scan to be sure. We have another scan in a few weeks and if they can't tell due to babies position then we are just leaving. I'm sorry you are going through this it's no nice at all!

 

[Niks]

I had the similar experience as at our 16 weeks scan we were told girl and then the baby turned out to be boy, so I understand your frustration. Apparently it is common to mistake a boy for a girl in early scan... I have lost my faith in gender scan now and just buying gender neutral things.
I am sorry this happened to you so sending you big ... Just hang on slowly all this frustration will go away and you will get used to the idea of your lo being a boy.

 

[Pearls18]

This is a little more common than people realise, if the boy's willy is hiding they look like girls with the 3 lines signifying labia, it happened to us but thankfully the sonographer realised the mistake in the same scan. You would have signed something to say that the scan is never 100%, I am sure the sonographer was confident in it looking like a girl and although it is heartbreaking you thought girl for so long it wasn't malicious. Since my indicent I have learned if I was told girl I would always get a second opinion as I didn't know how much boys can sneakily look like girls! I would go back to the place that originally scanned you, say you have been told there's a chance it is wrong and see if they will rescan you. I think the only certain way (apart from a scary amnio) is a 4D scan, but that obviously isn't cheap.

 

[M&S+Bump]

If the second scanner just 'thought' boy, I would definitely go and get another opinion.

I had a scan this week and the woman was very sure it is a girl - she spent nearly half an hour scanning between the baby's legs at all angles - but if we'd only had a quick look, it could have been an easy mistake to make to think it's a boy as the cord was initially floating about and I thought I saw boy bits.

You've put the fear in me now that I'm not getting my long-awaited girl after all My boys' scans were so obvious even at just 16 weeks that they were boys, there was no mistaking it.

 

[Pers]

This is part of why I went for the materniT21, I didn't want to rely on baby's cooperation and the skill of the tech! I can only imagine how frustrated you are and am sorry you are going through it. I would definitely suggest as pp stated about asking the place that did your gender scan to rescan you as your doctor said ythey were wrong on the gender (the whole reason you paid them!).

 

[fairsinger]

I had a friend a few years ago who had 3 different scans and was told a girl at each, then delivered a boy. A scan is definitely not 100% accurate like a genetic test would be, but I would see if the private scan place will let you get another one done. If they have 3d or 4d, you might be able to get a better picture of the gender, especially now that you are further along. I hope you are able to get an answer!

 

[medic9114fun]

My partner at work and his wife were told numerous times they were having a girl. Painted room pink, girl clothes ect...

When baby arrived they had quite the shock when it was a little boy.
He went home an bought blue paint and quickly repainted the nursery.

 

[Bonnie11]

Yep it's actually not that uncommon. I'm sure it's frustrating and upsetting for you when you have it in your head that its one sex, however no scan can ever be 100% so it's not anyone's fault, it's just something that can happen.
A friend of mine was told boy at her 20 week scan. She had problems with her placenta breaking up and the baby being breech and was scanned every 4 weeks for the last 5 months. Every scan said boy. New Year's Eve comes, she goes into labour and bam, a girl! It took them a while to get their head around, which it would but now they are happy.
Unfortunately no one should ever tell you it's a particular sex 100% as you can never be totally sure from a scan.

I can understand why you're upset, but you will soon come round to the idea and by the time he/she arrives you will be so excited you won't mind what it is x

 

[xjesx]

I totally see how the situation is frustrating and it is always upsetting when you are lead to believe one thing and then it turns out to be another.

Understandable as I am sure you thought you were in a position to make sex specific decisions on decor, clothing, NAMES, etc.

Just remember that our scan technicians are not allowed to provide us with results and that any scan result be it pregnancy related or otherwise must be given to a doctor for analysis before we are told. Sometime we get lucky and get a talkative supportive tech who tells us what they are seeing on the screen.

Even after a doctor assesses scan result the only guarantee of knowing the sex is when our little bundle arrives.

I say be frustrated because it sucks, but hold no grudges

 

[ChocolateC]

Thank you, this all really helps. I'm not holding grudges or feeling mad at the techs, since I know they try hard and are under pressure to do everything right; it's my fault for getting so certain, and not thinking that it might be wrong. I'm glad I painted the nursery orange and yellow, lol.
I can't go back to the same place for a new scan because I got it while visiting my parents, who live far away. It was their big chance to see the baby and for me to travel before I got really huge. I'm getting my doctor to re-check the results of the anatomy scan, though. She plans to say "did you see a penis or not?" Haha. If they say "not really," then it'll be yellow, orange and green until the baby is born and shows itself properly.

 

[MBGibbs]

Oh my goodness poor you, what a nightmare!
100% go for anther scan so you don't get used to the idea of a baby boy and then give birth to a girl! Honestly it's only important that the baby's healthy, however if I were you I'd feel the same way.
Thinking of you xx

 

[rayne22]

Where did you hear that in Canada they aren't supposed to tell you gender at the anatomy scan? I've only heard they will never tell you a hundred percent what the gender is, but I've never heard of the technicians refusing to say it or anything. Just curious.

 

[ChocolateC]

Where did you hear that in Canada they aren't supposed to tell you gender at the anatomy scan? I've only heard they will never tell you a hundred percent what the gender is, but I've never heard of the technicians refusing to say it or anything. Just curious.

It's the rule here in British Columbia, unfortunately. You aren't even supposed to TALK TO the technician. When I tried to make casual, friendly conversation with mine, he was very curt with me and reminded me I wasn't allowed. My maternity doctor only told me as a favor several weeks later! I've assured her that I'll be happy with whatever baby I have, and we get along well, so she told me what was on the form.

Today I had ANOTHER quick scan--a local place had an opening today, and it didn't cost much at all--and it showed GIRL again. Now I'm just starting to laugh about it. You guys are right, who cares, as long as baby is healthy. I'll buy gender-neutral stuff and wait to stock up on clothes until he/she/it is born: then I'll go on an Internet shopping binge.

 

[jenniferttc1]

Edit, just read your update.
Congrats! I'd say if TWO gender scan place said girl, then it's a girl. They are working to find your babies sex, the person at the doctors that can't tell you just took a peak im sure and wrote what they thought.

 

[Blob]

Congratulations, I hope they are now right! I worried the last few times wondering if they actually got the scan right