WTT #2 - Doubts?

[missielibra]

Hello everyone.

DH and I have a wonderful little boy who just turned 6 months. The plan was to try again in july... which would mean that if all goes well, LO would be 18-20 months old by the time his sibling comes around.
But now, I'm wondering if we should wait... I'm scared that I'm robbing his time with his mommy. What if he wants to sleep all cuddled up... and I can't because I'm too pregnant... what if this, what if that...

But then I think, okay, we were lucky this time, first cycle was a CP, then next BFP. What if we're not so lucky, and we push back trying and it takes YEARS.

Any parents who have kids close in age that would have an opinion on that matter? I would really appreciate it xoxo

 

[GraceER]

Hi! I just wanted to say there is no right answer but if you’re having doubts, what is the rush for a second right away? 18-20 month old children are hard work! They’re constantly on the go, mostly still in nappies and need a LOT of attention. Waiting another 6 months will likely pay dividends in terms of your sanity if you can hold on because by then your first should be sleeping well, playing well without you sometimes, not always in a stroller anymore out and about and potty trained. Plus if you carry on breastfeeding you might not get pregnant yet anyway, nature’s way of encouraging a slightly bigger gap.

All that said if you’re reading the above and thinking screw you! We want another now!! Then ignore me and go for it because you obviously know what you want haha

 

[Jft1]

Hey, I had read a few things you had said in other threads and was interested as I've not even had my first yet - I'm due in November, but we've already planned to start trying again in May next year so we would have 16-18 months between our two. There's only 16 months between my brother and I, so he doesn't remember life without me. We grew up as best friends and we're still very close. My mum hadn't planned to have us that close, but she said she wouldn't change it. She said we were inseparable and it was nice that we were both at a similar stage so both played with the same toys etc. She said it was tough, but she was on our own with us most of the time, but she still wouldn't change it.
There's 3 years between my DH and my SIL and as much as they're close enough, I don't think the have the same bond my brother and I have.
I suppose it's totally down to personal preference, what you'd rather do and what you think is best for your family. I feel the exact same about trying though - we conceived the first month coming off BC, but it was ectopic. Then we had a chemical then BFP the next month. It seemed so easy to conceive and I'm also worried the second won't happen so fast. So that's why I want to start sooner rather than later.
Anyway, I'm sure most of that doesn't help, but I'll be really interested to hear how you get on. Good luck!

 

[Flueky88]

Just offering my two cents. I waited til my 1st turned a year before ttc2. It took 18 months to conceive my first and I figured it would take a bit to conceive my 2nd. Nope... conceived right away. 2 under 2 is no joke. In retrospect I would tell myself to wait another 6 months to a year. Enjoy your LO. However if your heart is set on it, it's not impossible qnd you know what you want. I do believe my girls will be quite close so I look forward to that. We are going to wait until my 2nd turns 2 to ttc again for our 3rd and final baby.

 

[Symphony7]

I will say I’m just now ready to have a second one and my girl just turned 2. So around 3 years if we conceive easily. There’s pros and cons to each, but I will say you probably won’t notice a huge difference in their ages and stages of you give yourself to the first birthday to ttc. But you may find a big difference for yourself and how much you’re able to enjoy each of their baby stages separately. I will say the early toddler stage has been way harder for me than the baby stage, don’t know if I would have enjoyed two under two as much as I feel I’ll be able to enjoy my new baby now that my girl is getting more settled and independent.

 

[missielibra]

Thanks everyone for the replies!

It's obviously a lot to think of - and I do wanna be able to enjoy both... and I do want that closeness too...

There is work as well. I was getting a few promotions, then a year mat leave that ends in october... Every mat leave here is a year, so I just feels if I get the ball rolling again and keep on climbing up, I'll put it off and off until... well, it's too late. That worries me too. I wonder sometimes if it's best to take a big break.

And LO will go to day care during my year long mat leave (he starts day care when I go back in October when he'll be 1 yo) ( don't wanna lose his spot so, he'd keep going ). So I'd only be handling one at a time, until DH gets home with the LO.

 

[michelle535]

Hi

There's almost 2 years between my two. DD was 15 months when DS was conceived. We weren't trying for another baby and were originally going to wait until DD was 2 before trying but life had other plans and it honestly couldn't have worked out better for us. Don't get me wrong it was bloody hard in the early days but things have settled down and we have a nice little routine going. Most of the time the kids are best friends which is lovely to watch and makes up for the times they spend fighting. Overall though it has worked out well for us.