WTT after a loss support thread.

[KA92]

to you all.

Oh and I are breaking up i think...so now i have no baby and no boyfriend...and was only a year ago i had everything...

How are we all doing?
x

 

[fluffyblue]

to you all.

Oh and I are breaking up i think...so now i have no baby and no boyfriend...and was only a year ago i had everything...

How are we all doing?
x

Oh no babe im so sorry x

Im ok just going through last stages of ectopic now HCG levels down at 19 so fingers crossed will be nil by next friday.

I am just really looking 4ward to xmas and new year then my bday in January and the being able to TTC again without all the shite of temping, OPK etc !

 

[KA92]

thanks hunnie..i had a suspected ectopic my HCG levels are nothing now lol was 3 weeks ago though so guess to be expected

oh no its xmas soon...i was stupid bought OH stuff already!!! Have you done your shopping???

 

[fluffyblue]

Shopping ! I have bought 3 things (Boots 3 for 2) lol !

We usually do ours early december as the kids are 16 and 8 - Ben usually has two big pressies and Laura writes a list so its easier - straight to Argos lol

Hubby is a bit harder to buy for as he is the biggest kids I have - got two new babies in the family this year so be nice to buy for them

Is there no way you and OH can work things out - is it the stress of TTC and losses ! It has drove me and hubby to some bad times this year too

 

[KA92]

awww lol yeah my mum is harrassing me for whta i want (a car would be nice im not getting though lol)

I dunno i mean we had problems with his ex then my ex n then losing the baby(turns out he never even wanted it) all i want is for him to be there to hug me to listen but no he doesnt he just goes out n studies ( he has exmas coming up with i understand) but when he does reply to my texts its one words...turns out hes still seeing his ex (not sure as in together or as mates) behind my back. I just dont trust him anymore...dont feel like i can confinde in him n i just feel so alone right now he doesnt even care about the baby he just listens n then goes aww hug babe! Hes putting me down constantly!!! sorry ranted there!

 

[babyell]

Hi girls, I am glad I stumbled accross this thread. I have been in every section, but not sure where to post. I am waiting to try after losing Harry 2 weeks ago. Still bleeding, so cant do anything at the moment. The waiting is driving me insane. I want to be able to plan another baby to try and take my mind of losing Harry, but everytime I go to the loo, there is more blood. Keep telling myself as soon as the bleeding stops we will try again, but my body doesnt agree with my mind. Maybe the bleeding is my bodys way of making us wait, to recover physically and emotionally. Just want another baby so much, especially for my DH, he cries every night in his sleep, just want to ease his pain, Harry would have been his first child, and a boy which he so wanted. Kids were also so excited to be having a brother. But god had other plans.

 

[Drazic<3]

Oh girls, my heart goes out to you. We are all so strong, wether we think it or not. We are surviving. Keep your heads high and don't lose the hope. We will all get there in the end

As for me, I am getting by. Waiting to go in for the scan on Wednesday. I am wishing, hoping, and willing everything to be okay. The test I did this morning was much fainter than last week, so that must be a good sign?! I just want this medical side to be over now. I am hoping they say all is well and give us the go ahead. I wanted to wait until Feb, but I think OH wants us to NTNP asap. We will see. Just want to get Wednesday done now.

Love all round. -x-

 

[happy-kat]

Hi ,Thankyou for making this thread Drazic

We got pregnant on 19th August 09, Got my first faint BFP around the 15th Sept 09, we were so overjoyed and i got my "proper" BFP on the 19th. The week after that i started getting crampy, got brown cm and over the next few days it turned into a heavy flow whilst i was at work & that was the end, we were upset & it hits me now and again, i would have been nearly 14 weeks by now. I'ts hard thinking about what could've been. I know i was only 5 weeks when it happened but it would've been our baby.

Anyway my OH booked us a holiday for May next year with his mam & family which i'm not even bothered about going on, i don't want to wait to try but he says it will do me good etc.

I've only started going in first tri again lately and i havnt been in TTC much either, i feel bitter about it all so ive just been trying to enjoy the rest of the forum.

Excuse my complete soppy ramble but i feel good to let it out in somewhere i fit in

Hi there sorry to hear about your sad loss, i know how you feel when i said goodbye to the girls on the 1st trim forum i said i will still look in but cant seem to do it yet, but then its still early days i lost my little bean 2weeks ago today at 6 weeks why do we still count in our heads the number of weeks pregnant we should of been, i know im going to keep doing it right up to 40weeks, what makes it worse my little bean was due on my mums birthday, its torture -x-

 

[KA92]

...sometimes thats all you need, a good hug

 

[fluffyblue]

2 more days and counting.... (till specialist lol)

Hubby got swine flu now - dont know WTF can go wrong next !

 

[KA92]

2 more days and counting.... (till specialist lol)

Hubby got swine flu now - dont know WTF can go wrong next !

good luck hun keeping fingers crossed for you

well next thing that would go wrong (just to top it all off for you) is your whole family get it...fingers crossed no one does though!

x

 

[SmileyShazza]

I am so glad I came in here now. Thank you Drazic for starting tbhis thread.

We found out that we'd had an MMC when we went for our 12 week scan on Tuesday I am now waiting to see what comes first my erpc which is booked for next Tuesday or for nature to take its course. I am still in a state of shock but the thing that is keeping me going is getting through this and looking forward to TTC again.

I too have been unsure of where I can post, I don't want to dwell on things too much and have vented in miscarriage section. When I go into 1st tri all I see is posts from other people who also had their first scan on Tuesday who had the day I so wanted to have seeing their baby for the first time and posting up their scan pictures while I am happy for them I can't help feeling "why did this happen to us"

OH and I have talked and talked and we've both decided that we will look at New Year as a new start and once I have had my first AF we will consider trying again. Maybe at first we will NTNP and just see what happens, I found that when I was actively TTC nothing happened but the moment we relaxed last time we got our BFP.

I think we have all gone through a terrible thing, I wish there wasn't so many of us in this situation. I think it good to discuss with other people how we are feeling, hopefully we can all help each other get through this

Here's looking forward to 2010, a fresh start and hopefully some sticky sticky BFPs

 

[BeanieBaby]

Firstly thanks for recommending this forum to me SmileyShazza and secondly a big thank you to Drazic for starting this thread! When I first looked on here I started hovering over loads of threads and just had no idea where I fitted in and what I felt I could comment on as a lot of the posts are v. upbeat and i'm still feeing quite low as still waiting for my ERPC, which is scheduled for mon so miscarriage is still v. raw, then I found this thread! Perfect, what a great idea. Hello to all you lovely ladies. I am just so sorry for all your losses and that we don't have something nicer in common to bring us together in this forum!

I like the rest of you feel a bit lost on the forum these days. I have said goodbye to First Tri but have still hovered a bit as they were the people i'd made friends with and for some sick reason I can't seem to stop taking a look at how everyone's getting on. It partly upsets me but then sometimes when I see someone's having a good experience and I see on their name that they have suffered from miscarriages before it does reassure me that we're having bad luck at the mo but it doesn't mean we won't go on to have healthy pregnancies in due course. I haven't posted since I found a thread about how everyone's bad news and unhappy threads were worrying some of the girls and a few of them were thinking about leaving the forum because of this and it really upset me. It made me feel a little sick to my stomach as sure I had made some of those posts in between scans leading up to our final confirmation of miscarraige on Thurs and I just felt really unwelcome. The loss forum is great for support so i've been in there a lot but its nice to come here and hopefully in time we will all start to feel more positive about our road to recovery and TTC.

As I said I have my ERPC booked for mon. I will be 9.5 wks pregnant but our baby stopped developed this week even though it was the size of a 6 week baby but had no heartbeat. They said it was a slowly failing pregnancy and I was having a missed miscarriage. I am just so glad I went for those early scans due to spotting as otherwise as i've had no bleeding yet I think like some of you on here I could have found out at my 12 wk scan which would have been even worse.

We are hoping 2010 will be our year as this year has been pants for numerous reasons, this being the last nail in the coffin, so hoping to TTC as soon as we're given the go ahead.

Sending you all lots of love and hugs.

xxx

 

[Drazic<3]

Huge girls. Beaniebaby, I am so sorry for your loss. So much of what you have said rings true with me. Everytime I see the June babies thread my stomach sinks. I want the best for all these ladies, but that twang of hurt I don't think will ever go away. I thought alot about leaving the forum, and sometimes I do and I certainly avoid certain parts, but on the whole it is a great place and it has been a blessing for me.

Are you going for a medical or surgical ERPC? Good luck darling, not long now. I know the pain will never go away completely, but I felt such a surge of relief when all the medical aspects were over and they give you the all clear. Are you going to wait on AF before ttc again?

Hope everyone else is doing okay. Christmas is so hard isn't it?

 

[fluffyblue]

Hi beanie good luck for tomorrow hope it all goes well xx

I agree I think its wise to have early scans as if I had got to twelve weeks and found out i would have cracked i think..

I hover around the site and think i will continue ive been on for 6 months and learnt all I need to now !

 

[fluffyblue]

I broke down in mothercare today felt such a wally - dont know why just suddenly became overcome with memories and emotion. Really need to get past my EDD (Jan)

 

[shocker]

I broke down in mothercare today felt such a wally - dont know why just suddenly became overcome with memories and emotion. Really need to get past my EDD (Jan)

I look at the floor whenever i pass it, the other day we passed a newborn section in a clothing store and even though i was in the middle of a conversation i had to look away and pull myself together for a minute to stop myself crying.Its hard to see things like that hun your not a wally, hope your ok

 

[BeanieBaby]

Huge girls. Beaniebaby, I am so sorry for your loss. So much of what you have said rings true with me. Everytime I see the June babies thread my stomach sinks. I want the best for all these ladies, but that twang of hurt I don't think will ever go away. I thought alot about leaving the forum, and sometimes I do and I certainly avoid certain parts, but on the whole it is a great place and it has been a blessing for me.

Are you going for a medical or surgical ERPC? Good luck darling, not long now. I know the pain will never go away completely, but I felt such a surge of relief when all the medical aspects were over and they give you the all clear. Are you going to wait on AF before ttc again?

Hope everyone else is doing okay. Christmas is so hard isn't it?

I agree I think the pros outweigh the cons and now I've found you girlies I defo won't be leaving!

I'm in for the surgical ERPC. Booked in for 12.30pm. My sis is coming to look after my toddler but unfortunately my OH is back to work the next day so i'll be right back at it looking after my little one as my sis can't stay over. SmileyShazza said they recommend someone stays with you for 24 hrs afterwards, do you think this is necessary or just advisory? Would be so nice to put my feet up but just can't see it happening! I must say I have found this tough as have had to put on a brave face for my 2 yr old all the time when all I wanna do is break down.

Re TTC we have decided to wait for my af before we try. I heard that the first af is a bit nasty and some not so nice stuff comes out with it sometimes so keen to give my body a good clear out before we begin! Grim I know! I may have to get some opks so I can get an idea of ovulation etc. this time as I guess this may all be messed up when we start trying, will it? Or does your body pick up its original pattern again? What about everyone else, how long are we waiting?

Finding it v. hard to get into the Christmas spirit, just keep thinking how we were gonna announce it Christmas day!

xxx

 

[BeanieBaby]

Hi beanie good luck for tomorrow hope it all goes well xx

I agree I think its wise to have early scans as if I had got to twelve weeks and found out i would have cracked i think..

I hover around the site and think i will continue ive been on for 6 months and learnt all I need to now !

Thanks fluffyblue. Sure i've said sorry for your losses in the past, but think its only recently i've realised what your last one involved. I had never heard of it before, just ectopic, I can't imagine what you must have gone through, what a heartbreaking situation to be in. I really hope that 2010 is your year and the same for the rest of us - here's to lots of healthy pregnancies next time around! xxx

 

[KimmyLou]

Hi All,

Thankyou Drazic for starting this thread. Also I am very sorry to each of you for your losses.

I had a MMC at 9 weeks, found out my bean stopped growing at 8 weeks. I went in for an ERPC but I had partially miscarried before the proceedure.

It breaks my heart that I saw the heartbeat before then. I was so happy to get my BFP as I was due to start down regulating for IVF (we'd been trying for 3 1/2 years without success) 3 weeks after the pos result.

I want to start trying again straight away as I am terrified it will be another 3 1/2 years until it happens again but I am not sure I am ready emotionally as I can't sleep at the moment.

Thanks for listening to me, I apologise if I have gone on a little bit!

Kim xx