WWT - Due to Money

[BABY76]

How do people afford to have children, currently me and my husband work full time but really want a baby but can't see how we can afford it.
His wages will just cover bills and food, what would we live on??
How can we ever afford to have children??

 

[Sarahkka]

The old saying that if you wait until your finances are just right before having babies then you'll probably never have any? It's very true.
On the other hand, having babies when you know you can't support them isn't very responsible, either.
I think two things are happening: people are waiting longer to have kids so that they have a little more time with the double income no kids status to get set up (look at the new demographics for first-time mums - a lot of us are in our 30s now), and people are having to make choices about what their priorities in life are. If it's important to you to own a house and a car and nice furniture and all that stuff, you might need more time before you have kids. If kids are your priority, then you might feel that renting a house, getting by without a vehicle, having secondhand furniture, etc is well worth it.
I belong in the latter camp myself, but I'm also in my 30s because I had a lot of things I wanted to do before I had kids.
The year before we had Simon we practised living on one income and we banked as much as we could of the other income to help us out during the mat leave year. That really worked for us.

 

[luckyme225]

Having a child is a lot of money but you make it work somehow. It's always nice to have a bit of padding in your savings first just in case something was to happen but I know people who have had children with no more the 500 dollars to their name.

 

[Emmalouise_x]

Why don't you try and budget as much as possible for a month or so? You may find you are spending money where it doesn't need to be spent. Hope this helps somehow.

 

[elmaxie]

For us we both work in good jobs with decent wages and we still paniced about if we could afford a baby. We have a mortgage, I have a loan which uses a good chunk of my wage each month too...

I am lucky in that I get 6 months mat leave where my pay is 90% of my usual pay and then if I decided too (which I did) the next 3 months are just the mat pay of £113 a week...so I could have taken 6 months off and not had too much of a drop in wages. Do you know what your mat package is?
Also child benefit is £20 a week and you might be entitled to benefits too?

My panic now is we need to move to a bigger house and how we will manage but deep down I know we will.

As someone said if you put off until you can afford a baby you wil never reach that point.

In a way we saved a bit before hand for baby so I could take the 9 months off plus I bought alot of baby things from ebay/gumtree/freecycle and bought stuff, if I wouldnt consider using 2nd hand stuff for, in the sales or when they were discounted. People and family were also very generous and bought ALOT of clothes and my dad bought our buggy (which was not expensive and will last until he is 4) and my mum bought our high chair even though he was a new born.
I think too you dont go out as much before and after baby is born so not spending as much. Also you adapt your spending too.

Emma.xx

 

[tasha41]

I got pregnant when I was 18 and in no way ready to support a baby financially..

but you just make it work. You sacrifice things for yourself. You don't buy name brands as often.. you rent movies rather than going to the theatre.. cook at home rather than dinner out.. you use coupons.. shop sales.. accept second hand items.. use kijiji/classifieds/freecycle.

 

[bunnyhop]

I agree i think its rare for people to be in situations with lots of excess money, my 1st was a whoopsy and we have managed fine, i now work part time and you just budget its like i was talking to a work collegue yesterday who spends 90.00 a week on food i spend 40/50 on a family of 4 and only buy fresh good food. You learn to adapt and make money go further and remember you get family allowance, if you use cloth nappies you'll only have 1 lot of nappy expence good luck x

 

[Flowerpot]

I don't have kids so have no practical advice to give but I do think people just adapt to what they do have. My husband and I are desparate for kids and at the moment, don't have too many luxuries in our life. So I think it would be quite a good moment as I don't want to get used to luxuries before a baby arrives and then have to cut back. Also, I think you have to accept second hand things when on offer - I know we will.

 

[sophxx]

like evry1 said no one is ever ready but trying to budget is the best way! x

 

[purple01]

I think finances will always be a worry, just try to save a bit while you are both working full time and have a look at your spending to see if there is anything you could cut down on.

We are planning to ttc in sept and have been saving for about a year. We set up an 'esavings' account and set up standing orders to pay a small amount in each a month......it's surprising how it's added up and it was an amount we didn't really miss each month. Maybe see if you can do something similar?

As someone else mentioned, see what maternity package you are entitled to (i work for a small company so will only get statutory maternity pay, but many companies give you quite a lot of time off with 90% pay).

There is also child benefit if you need a bit extra and also a pregnancy grant you can claim once your over 25 weeks. Its currently £190 which would help buying maternity or baby things.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[Amygdala]

Welcome to BnB!

I know exactly how you feel! Me and DH both work full-time, both have degrees and still nowhere near enough money (or security, which is the bigger issue for us at the moment) to afford having babies right now. But then, depending where you are it's important to remember that you are entitled to some help. In the UK for example there's paid mat leave and tax credits. I still think that before having children you should be able to afford them, i.e. I wouldn't ever PLAN living on benefits (no offence to anyone who's in that situation unplanned!!!). But if you know that you could support your kids after a year or so when you go back to work, then I think you'll be ok in the meantime.

 

[BABY76]

Thank you everyone!! We have decided we are going to go for it!!
x x

 

[Pyrrhic]

Our living costs actually went down by having a baby

We no longer ate out all the time, went to the cinema, drinks with friends etc. I mean we still go out, but not as much, and we have Niamh now so tend to have people round to the house instead which I much prefer.

Also the fact that babies aren't that expensive IMO. All these websites that say you need at least £15,000 to have a baby are absolute rot.

 

[purple01]

Thank you everyone!! We have decided we are going to go for it!!
x x

How exciting! Hope it all works out!

 

[achekh8707]

Sometimes I feel like we cannot possibly get by one our income for a second child, especially because I will have to drop my part time job- but when you sit down and figure out how much you are spending on things other than bills/rent ect, you may have more than you think. I don't even want to sit down and do that math, but I need to, lol.

 

[stargirl69]

The only way we were ever going to afford it was to buy a house way cheaper than what we were advised we could get i.e. mortgage company were willing to give us 220,000 but we got a mortgage of 130,000 so that then leaves us with a lot of money each month to spare. We can then afford to save up a lump sum to cover expenses for year I am off on maternity leave.

I also re-trained to get a better salary.

We didn't want to struggle financially but it's meant waiting a long time - and still waiting now!

Best of luck!

 

[Sarahkka]

The only way we were ever going to afford it was to buy a house way cheaper than what we were advised we could get i.e. mortgage company were willing to give us 220,000 but we got a mortgage of 130,000 so that then leaves us with a lot of money each month to spare. We can then afford to save up a lump sum to cover expenses for year I am off on maternity leave.

I also re-trained to get a better salary.

We didn't want to struggle financially but it's meant waiting a long time - and still waiting now!

Best of luck!

Very smart move with the mortgage!
That is a huge mistake that a lot of homebuyers make - they get the largest mortgage possible and give themselves an impossible debt to repay. I have serious issues with mortgage companies and banks that offer such huge sums to borrow. I find it unethical.

 

[stargirl69]

I know - I think it's totally wrong as well. I feel we've made the right choice for us. I think we'll have a better standard of living because of it. You see a lot of people in big houses these days, working every hour under the sun to pay for it and not getting the time to spend with their family.

 

[Bambinohead]

I'm in the exact same position as you, Baby76! I haven't figured out yet how to tell if we're financially ready... that's one of the reasons why I'm lurking around on this board! I think a LOT of people have kids under less than optimal conditions and just figure it out, but that doesn't mean that's the best way or the route I want to take. However, I don't want to waste away my fertile years afraid of money problems. Material possessions are only worth so much, you know?

Let me know if you come up with any epiphanies about this! LOL

Bambinohead

 

[lulu37688]

I'm in the exact same position as you, Baby76! I haven't figured out yet how to tell if we're financially ready... that's one of the reasons why I'm lurking around on this board! I think a LOT of people have kids under less than optimal conditions and just figure it out, but that doesn't mean that's the best way or the route I want to take. However, I don't want to waste away my fertile years afraid of money problems. Material possessions are only worth so much, you know?

Let me know if you come up with any epiphanies about this! LOL

Bambinohead

I am SO there right along with you my friend! We've just decided to not prevent pregnancy and just see what happens...and I agree so so so so so much with what you've written!