Xx

Why doesn't your husband or grand parents take the baby so you can have time with your eldest?
 
Can't your husband or grandparents take LO for a while so you can have some time with your daughter? I feel quite guilty like this too, I'm back at work 3 days a week, so on the days I don't work I really look forward to picking DS1 up from school and having those extra few hours together, but often those hours are spent looking after a tired and grumpy DS2 and DS1 is left to his own devices. I try really hard to make time for him and me. On a Saturday morning DH has the little one and I take DS1 swimming. We do it every week without fail, it's our thing and we love it. I also try during holidays to make time for DS1 while LO naps. I feel your pain hon, there are 5 years between my two and after having only 1 to focus on for so long it's been a shock to the system for all of us to have to divide my attention xx
 
Why doesn't your husband or grand parents take the baby so you can have time with your eldest?

This.

Is asking them if they'd take baby for the day instead of your eldest an option instead? Then you can get out of the house and spend time alone with your eldest. If the grandparents aren't willing I'm sure your husband will be.
 
Why don't you and baby go swimming with your daughter and partner too?
 
I agree with the others, you need regular husband-takes-the-baby-not-just-the-fun-child time!

Do you think the heavy periods could be adding to your low mood about the situation? It could cause low iron and fatigue which will just make it all the more difficult to cope with the whinging.

I never really liked being at home with my LO - the pressure to be her entertainment all the time was too much - but although I'm not a joiner inner, I went to various toddler groups just to take to focus off me. She was always much happier with a few more distractions around and when I plucked up the courage I did have a few human interactions!

I don't have my parents or inlaws nearby so I never had the option of them babysitting (one reason I've stuck with one LO!) so I think just be selfish and ask them to swap some of the time they spend with your eldest to some more time with the baby. The worst they can say is no, but you won't have lost anything.

Is there any way you could look for something that is just yours that your husband/family would support you in (volunteering or something) that could get you adult interaction for a few hours a week and a bit of a sense of achievement? I went back to work a few times a week when my LO was 1yr and I think it saved my sanity, but I know its not an option for everyone.
 

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