YES! Finally a happy thread from Skywalker!

[Skywalker]

Woo!

Okay, so I talked to yet another one of my friends, who made the very compelling argument that he cannot weasel out of legally enforced child support. I originally didn't know how I could get child support or IF I could with us being citizens of different countries and me going back to the States which is why I thought of continuing work for him. Turns out I can get child support through NZ government but only after she's born, so I still need his help in the meantime, but at least this is a silver lining for the rest of the years of her life!

I was totally braindead on whether to file in NZ or US, so I just called the Office of Internal Affairs and sorted it all out! Great news is that since ex-OH will be on the birth certificate, I can simply fill out an application for Citizenship by Descent for my baby once she is born. Once she is granted NZ Citizenship, I can then file with the NZ government for child support so that they can enforce it on my ex-OH and he will have to pay. So I'm doubly happy - I was so concerned that I couldn't get child support enforced being a US citizen and ex-OH being a NZ citizen, but it turns out I can!

In the meantime, I'm asking for him to do the honorable thing and keep to his agreement that he would help me through this pregnancy, which he may or may not do. I am thinking of telling him that if he does not, I really don't want him having anything to do with my child beyond the mandatory child support he will be required to pay once I file. And even if he tries to sell his company to exempt himself from child support, the proceeds from the sale of the company would still count as "taxable income" and would ironically just have the effect of making him pay me MORE in child support, and I was just told by my friend that if he defaults on payment, they can freeze his bank account, even seize property, and I don't have to chase him up at all. It's government enforced. I am so relieved.

But I at least know that if I can make it through this nine months until she is born, once she is born, I can file for the citizenship and child support. And I will do whatever it takes to provide for her and see to it that he does his share.

So it's a bit of a silver lining on a rough situation! Finally! Relief!

 

[BubiMama]

I'm so happy to hear that uv gotten some good news!! And I'm also happy to hear that he is going to b obligated to his reaponsibilities as I see he isn't a man of his word!!! Congratulations to u!!!

 

[Skywalker]

I'm so happy to hear that uv gotten some good news!! And I'm also happy to hear that he is going to b obligated to his reaponsibilities as I see he isn't a man of his word!!! Congratulations to u!!!

Yay!!! Thank you! I'm so excited and relieved I feel so much stress has left my body.

 

[Mrs_Wright]

Glad it's working out for you!!
Amazing how different things are in other countries! Here the dad has to be present to be on birth certificate, and can stop you leaving the country too!
Does your ex know your moving back to states?

 

[Skywalker]

Glad it's working out for you!!
Amazing how different things are in other countries! Here the dad has to be present to be on birth certificate, and can stop you leaving the country too!
Does your ex know your moving back to states?

Oh man, I didn't realize that. I looked it up and he does have to be present, which he's already told me he doesn't want to be because he'll have to fly from New Zealand and if I'm early or late that's a lot of money to "waste" (nice, huh?) I told him we'd just stay in touch and I'd let him know, I mean if I was so late as to need to be induced I'd have an idea of the day I'd be induced and go into labor so it wouldn't be hard for him to buy a plane ticket and come. I think he should be present because I need him on the birth certificate. I don't want to have to fly with the baby down to New Zealand to try to convince him to come with me to be put on the birth certificate Yes, he does know. I cannot wait to leave, he is being atrocious to me again.

 

[Willo]

Well if he doesn't put his name on the birth cert can you not take him to court for dna testing to prove paternity?

 

[Skywalker]

Well if he doesn't put his name on the birth cert can you not take him to court for dna testing to prove paternity?

I can but this guy is maddening. He'll agree to something and then find the most secretive ways to get himself out of it at the last minute, so I think I'm not even going to bother mentioning to him precisely why I want him on the birth certificate because then he'd find some excuse not to be on it, then I'd have to chase him around for a paternity test, and go through a big headache >.< I'm sure with court systems I could figure it all out but we're going to be on two separate continents so as much as I can get done at the beginning of all this the better, like if I can somehow just get him there for the birth and avoid all the courts and paternity testing and all of that drama.

 

[kerri28]

Sky I'm very familiar with the laws of the us in regards to child support. I intern in the justice system and have had a good amount of experience in that field. Feel free to message m if you have any questions. I can tell you off the bat that yes he would need to be present for the initial hearing and if he doesn't show their would be a bench warrant put out but that is somewhat different if he is in NZ and you are in the US. Extraditing murders and rapists from other countries can take years and we don't make contempts for child support a top priority. I haven't dealt with an extraditing of that type of warrant but once he is ordered I can tell you the break down of events.