Your opinions on finding our gender

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by anawhatsme, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. anawhatsme

    anawhatsme Well-Known Member

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    i would really appreciate some insight from those that have gone through gender scans.
    i am absolutely dying with curiosity as to what we're having.
    i'm pretty much convinced it's a girl.

    part of me wants to be suprised on baby's birthday, part of me cannot stand the suspense.
    my boyfriend feels i may be a bit disappointed if we wait until delivery to find out, where i'm so sure it's a girl.
    he said it would be nice for me to know sooner, so i can alter my thinking to having a boy.
    i also have such a hard time picking names that knowing the gender would make things easier.
    but once i know, i can't go back.
    there won't be the 'it's a boy' or 'it's a girl' surprise when baby arrives.
    so.....

    opinions please.
    if you found out, did you regret it at all?
    was it positive finding out?
    any insight you can offer would be appreciated.

    thanks!
     
  2. ~lauren~

    ~lauren~ Mummy to Isla

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    I found out and I'm so glad I did. I wouldn't have had it any other way. For me, it was just as much of a surprise for me to find out at 20 weeks as it was for me to wait until the birth. I just think that this way, I've got to know my baby better, she already has a name, and I can prepare things for her being a little girl. This is just the way I thought about it! I honestly couldn't stand to wait until the birth! I was convinced I was having a boy, everyone around me told me I was having a boy and we were all wrong! Im so glad I found out :D

    hope this helps! xxxxxxxxx
     
  3. Snoopy

    Snoopy Well-Known Member

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    We were convinced it was a girl from the start (which was bizarre as I'd always imagined having boys). We definitely had no preference either way and we were happy to wait. But as it's our first, the more we thought about it the more we realised it might be better for us to find out. As Lauren says above, we could choose a name, buy girl clothes (girls can wear boy clothes but boys in little dresses.....hmmm), and think of the baby in a bit more detail. I'm not sure we'd necessarily find out in any subsequent pregnancies as we also liked the idea of a surprise, but I'm so pleased we finally decided to in this one. We still haven't told people in real life though :p
     
  4. anawhatsme

    anawhatsme Well-Known Member

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    thanks to both of you.
    hmmm...keeping the gender a secret, that's interesting.
    i wonder if i could do that.

    gah...
    i'm so torn on finding out or not finding out.
    it also does cost money here and we are pretty stretched financially.
    grrr...decisions.
    see?
    imagine me with picking boys AND girls names.
    hard!

    thanks for your input!
     
  5. Snoopy

    Snoopy Well-Known Member

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    No problem :)

    Will you be having any other routine scans? If so, could you ask then?

    Failing that and if you don't want the expense, there's always old wives tales to fall back on :p

    Keeping it secret wasn't anywhere near as difficult as I'd imagined. I think that's because I'm not the biggest fan of pink...I don't mind it as such, but I didn't want people going nuts on the pink present front. It's been difficult enough explaining we've already bought more than enough clothes without finding the house turning into a Barbie-doll castle! :D
     
  6. GardenPath

    GardenPath Well-Known Member

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    I am waiting for a birth surprise. I toyed with finding out around 20 weeks. But I am glad I didn't! I have some tendancy to want one gender over another- though since this is my 1st I just really ultimately hope for one of each eventually.
    But I have heard and agree that it would be better to find out when you actually are holding your baby because I have heard that at that point you just love the baby so much that whichever gender it is matters less.
    Plus- there is something nice about letting it be a mystery.
     
  7. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    I was on Team Yellow until the end (though it was REALLY hard to tell them no we don't want to know at the scans LOL)... If we have another, we will do the same!! It was the BEST experience - Part of what we wanted during the birth was for OH to tell me if it was a boy/girl and it was really special. I know OH thought it was a girl all the way through (so much that he said "OMG! Shes a Boy!" when he was born) , but he wasn't in any way disappointed - we would have been elated either way. I know people also say they can bond better with LO if they know the sex, but I bonded with my bubs just fine!!! Also - it was an added motivator during labour - we couldn't wait to find out :)
    There is no right/wrong though , whatever works for you is whats right !
    xx
     
  8. purpledahlia

    purpledahlia Mummy

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    I think finding out is a really personal choice, For me, Im on my own and very very stretched financially, so for me it was easier to know, simply so i could plan, buy the right things, and choose a name and be prepared etc. I Thnk maybe if i was in a couple and he had wanted a surprise i would of been happy to wait and share the excitement with someone, But i was equally excited to find out at the scan. I have the motivator to see what she looks like at the birth. So before i left my job i got a gender scan and it was great and also the 20week scan told me. I was with a best friend then and it was such a lovely thing to share with her, and my mum will be there when shes born so will share what she looks like with her etc.

    I found shopping for team yellow hard, there seemed to be so much pink or blue, but not nearly as much white. im sure it could of been done with more effort tho! :D

    So im glad i found out, but its up to each person.
     
  9. Seity

    Seity Mom to Gabriel and Samuel

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    There's no way we could have waited. We couldn't even begin picking a name till after we knew the gender. I love knowing its a boy and can't imagine that waiting till the birth would make the surprise any different. Since this is our first, it makes it easier for friends and family to donate baby items knowing what we're having. I can see potentially waiting to find out if we have a second because we'll already own a lot of baby items, but for this first one, we both really wanted to know.
     
  10. Bee70

    Bee70 Well-Known Member

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    We're on team yellow. Oh and I wanted it to be a surprise on the day, with the shock revelation, although both of us are convinced its a boy, we won't be at all disappointed if its a girl. We have stocked up on loads of clothes from charity shops (a complete outfit for 50p) and have got some light blue stuff, as girls can wear blue too.
    Am so glad we have left it a surprise, and I think the excitement of knowing will help through the pain!
     
  11. Caz-x

    Caz-x ʚϊɞ

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    Never found out with my first and although me n hubby always said we'd find out with our 2nd we haven't this time either. We decided not to as it was a motivational factor through the birth to find out what we had been carrying, and was lovely for my hubby to be able to say 'it's a boy, we have a son'. It was a very special moment for us both. We never had a worry about the bonding before birth as we always referred to our son as 'bubba' whils pregnant so felt we knew the baby anyway. Plus, we got to do the whols 'you have a grandson/nephew' thing on the phone, rather than 'he's arrived, and you know the name....'. It's a personal preference and is whatever you want. With re clothes, we just bought enough white sleepsuits / vests to see us through a few days then went shopping for boys clothes (hubby went for a few outfits while I was in hospital). Plus, I love seeing babys in white babygro's anyway so it never bothered me.

    I am desperate to know the gender just now, but only have just over 2 mths to go & know I would regret finding out.
     
  12. ellie27

    ellie27 Well-Known Member

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    In Glasgow we do not get a 20wk scan so it was not possible for us to say we will find out then!

    As we only got the dating scan at 12wks we were desperate to see little one again so got a scan booked and decided to find out the gender - at 28wks.

    It was fantastic and it actually made it all real for us- we had not bought anything up til that point but after the scan we got our heads sorted then ordered the pram/furniture etc - we are not doing all the pink stuff etc!

    And then we started talking/singing to our little girl - we hadnt done that before - we just felt a lot closer to our little one.

    Its only us that know the gender -so it will still be a surprise for everyone else and we will still be able to announce to gran 'its a girl'!! when she is born.

    I do hear some folk saying that know the gender takes the surprise out of having your baby - for us its going to be the best day of our lives and nothing will change that.

    It is a very personal choice - you do sound like you want to know so go for it!!!:flower:
     
  13. mrs_rj

    mrs_rj Well-Known Member

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    we were desperate to find out the sex and both wanted to know from the start. i don't think it has ruined the surprise at all - it will still be a surprise to hold our little girl at last and see what she looks like! If anything we have been more excited knowing we have a little girl coming and can buy all the cute girly things for her rather than just bundles of white and cream clothes! We found out at our 20 week scan, then had a private scan at 26 weeks to confirm, and then i needed a growth scan last week so triple checked then haha.

    It's all personal preference hun, but for us personally i couldn't have lasted 40 weeks without knowing! xxx
     
  14. leelee

    leelee Mammy to 2

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    Hi,

    I am in a very similar situation as you. Myself and OH are dying to know the sex but we haven't found out. We won't though as I do want a surprise on the day.

    I would find it odd personally having a name picked for the baby before it comes out. What if it doesn't suit the name???

    In other ways though, I do envy people who find out cos they can buy blue or pink rather than white.

    I reckon the moment that myself and OH find out the sex when the baby is born will be very special though:)
     
  15. alibaba24

    alibaba24 Well-Known Member

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    I didnt have the greatest experience of finding out the gender at my 17 week scan i was told i was having a boy and i was over the moon, only to be told at my 20 week scan its a girl! it took a while to sink in i had totally mentally prepared for a boy however if you think you have your mind set on one perhaps a gender scan would be a good idea like your OH says so you can get used to the idea of what your having! Also i know some people say "i want a suprise" but your still going to get a suprise either way! whethers its the suspense of being told the gender at the scan or waiting until you actually meet the baby! its just one is earlier than the other, in my opinion anyway! :) Theres just no way i could stay on team yellow i wouldnt be able to content myself with just buying neutral colours not doing the nursery in girl or boy colours...then i could waste loads of time looking up boy names that i didnt even need to!! plus for me i know i personally didnt enjoy name searching as much before i knew the sex but thats just my opinion everyones different :)

    xx
     
  16. gills8752

    gills8752 Mum of 2 Girl

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    I wanted to find out but they won't tell you here so we had to pay for a gender scan. I couldn't stand not knowing! :lol:
    Not that knowing we're having a girl has helped shopping much as I'm not a girlie girl and I hate all the fro fro pink stuff so struggle to find baby clothes I like so have still mostly gone for white or neutral clothing. I've only managed to find one outfit I really like and got a monsoon fur coat off ebay!

    If you're unsure about finding out then I'd say find out but keep it a secret. If money is an issue then I'd not bother and concentrate on spending where it's needed on cot, clothes, nursing bras etc. Its more important you have these things than know if its a girl or boy.
    XX
     
  17. BeccaMichelle

    BeccaMichelle Mummy of 2

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    Me and hubby both wanted to know as soon as possible! To us it would be just as much of a surprise on the day we found as as it would have been when she was born. (I always say, pushing something that size out is enough of a surprise for one day!) Plus I was convinced it was a boy and wanted to start addressing him as such... turns out it was a girl! So I was really happy that I found out and didn't continue calling her a him! :)

    Everyone feels differently about it, but for us it gave us a couple months to settle on a name and get our heads around this whole baby thing a bit more. Knowing the gender seemed to make it a lot more real for us.

    Good luck deciding!
     
  18. McLovin

    McLovin Well-Known Member

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    I personally think it's best to find out. Yeah it will be a surprise on the day - but it's only going to be one or the other - and yellow isn't the nicest colour is it? lol
    I enjoyed being able to get all the shopping done before I got too big to get around and do it.
     
  19. BeccaMichelle

    BeccaMichelle Mummy of 2

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    LOL - the fact that I HATE the colour yellow made my decision all the easier. My family have all been instructed not to buy the baby yellow things. :D
     
  20. mellllly

    mellllly Mummy to 3 under 4!

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    We found out we were having a girl, did not regret it at all and will deffo be finding out with our next one.
    I think when you are in labour and have had the baby you have all that excitement going on anyway which is why we found out at the 20 week scan so we could have that part of the excitement a little earlier, it was also nice buying pink clothes and having a pink nursery rather than getting everything in neutral just for you o go and buy everything in pink or blue when the baby is born if you get what i mean,
    We pretty much knew it was a girl anyways
     

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