"Your still so young"

[Ameronica]

I know what you girls mean, I had a visit with my Doc for a general health check as I have some gynae issues anyway, and he was shocked when I said I wanted to start TTC! I was disgusted by his reaction to be honest! I am 23, will be 24 by the time baby is born (if I Conceive before Jan) , Thats almost a quarter of a century old!!!
What more does the man want?!?!

I know what you mean! I called a fertility DR in my area just to ask some general questions about my fertility. I only have one tube and have had pelvic inflammatory disease and have been NTNP for awhile now. Once I mentioned my age (22 Aug 1st) he said that I should just wait and if nothing happens in 2-3 years then we can make an apt and talk..REALLY? He wouldn't even let me come in because I am "too young". Just because I am young doesn't mean I don't have fertility issues.
It just made me angry. I am married, and my husband and I both have jobs yet this DR wouldn't even let me come in because I am "too young". Its not like I was asking for IVF or anything, I just wanted more information about conceiving with one tube.

 

[TheNewMrs]

I guess you could call that discrimination though eh?

 

[Ameronica]

Yeah I guess so. I am not someone to create a huge thing out of nothing though so I can be mad but Im not going to turn someone in or anything like that. I just wanted some answers to some questions I had. They probably would have just given me the standard percentages and statistics of conception with one tube.
This site is a lot more helpful because its actual people getting PG after things like that, not just numbers or percentages AND a great support system.

 

[TurboTurtle80]

Hi ladies! Excuse my intrusion. I just wanted to say that ttc is an individual thing and you're ready when you're ready. I'm gonna be 31 in August and although I wanted a baby so bad in my early 20's, I'm so very very happy I didn't. I got to experience life with nothing holding me down, although even if I had a child I would still have been fulfilled in other ways. Someone told me the other day that I'm the perfect age to have a baby now and, as much as I agree, I kinda feel old too lol. I waited forever thinking it wasn't the right time, but truth is there will never be a perfect time, just a better time. You just have to jump in and God willing it will happen. =)

 

[TryinFor1]

Got a pregnancy test taken at DRs office today!

Will know the results tomorrow.. so nervous!

 

[sweetpeaxo]

I know how you feel and it is demeaning to be completely honest. I got engaged at 21 and married at 22. People thought I was nuts for settling down so early in life. I know what I want and I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything. I love my husband to death. A lot of people ask when we are going to have a baby. And it's no secret, and I come out and tell them we are trying. Most people are very excited, but there's always someone in the bunch that tells us we're too young and we should wait a few years. I just want to tell them to shut up and mind their business! I want all of my kids when I am in the low to mid 20's.

 

[Antsynewlywed]

Im only 21 and i am going through the EXACT same thing as you are! I just got married on June 4th and everyone keeps saying oh you should wait, enjoy marriage, blah blah blah. Im completely in hiding about my ttc too. It irks every fiber of my being when someone refers to my age as any kind of factor. Im not 16. Ive graduated, im married, now let me be!

 

[katherinegrey]

I get the exact same thing, with people telling me not to have children at this age even! I've done my party life style, I've done the student lifestyle, I'm well travelled, and well partied out. Now, I've found my soul mate, and the things that excite me now aren't how much I can drink and how long I was partying, but the new bedsheets that are just lovely, or a new washing powder that makes all the clothes smell gorgeous!

I'm boring now, and I like it, I've done everything I ever wanted to do, and that's my choice!

 

[TryinFor1]

I know how you feel and it is demeaning to be completely honest. I got engaged at 21 and married at 22. People thought I was nuts for settling down so early in life. I know what I want and I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything. I love my husband to death. A lot of people ask when we are going to have a baby. And it's no secret, and I come out and tell them we are trying. Most people are very excited, but there's always someone in the bunch that tells us we're too young and we should wait a few years. I just want to tell them to shut up and mind their business! I want all of my kids when I am in the low to mid 20's.

I got married at 19. I am now 20 and starting TTC. I know how you feel. People need to mind their own business about our preferences. It seems like if you were excited telling them you guys are trying, they shouldnt say "well you should wait" they should act excited even if they aren't. It is like, "Ok, well I didn't ask you what you think we should do, I was simply answering your question"

I went to the DR not long ago to get metal taken out of my arm from when I broke it. Whenever I told the DR I was getting married in 6 months, he looked at me like I was psychotic and was really rude about it. Needless to say, I told him off, bitched with one of his nurses (she was nice and agreed with me!), and NEVER went back.

 

[Saphire23]

Me and my oh are also secretly ttc. I'm 23 and he's 29. If i was to tell people that we are ttc then I just know they would be judgemental and tell me that I should just enjoy life now (Go out drinking etc) and that I'm too young, but like the rest of you ladies I have never been into going out clubbing etc. Just want a little bundle of joy Wish more people would understand that.

 

[ferens06]

Oh wow, this subject makes me mad too. And whilst I DO agree (I'm 23 in a few weeks) that we ARE young to be having children...I don't think it means we wouldn't be good at it or that we shouldn't.

We both have stable jobs & degree, live in a two bedroom house (it is rented but i see no problem with that!) and have three cats. We live quite happily and within our means. I think a child would be a perfect addition to our family.

We are TTC in secret too, I dislike people that feel they have the right to pass judgement on your choices! xx

 

[ferens06]

I know what you girls mean, I had a visit with my Doc for a general health check as I have some gynae issues anyway, and he was shocked when I said I wanted to start TTC! I was disgusted by his reaction to be honest! I am 23, will be 24 by the time baby is born (if I Conceive before Jan) , Thats almost a quarter of a century old!!!
What more does the man want?!?!

I know what you mean! I called a fertility DR in my area just to ask some general questions about my fertility. I only have one tube and have had pelvic inflammatory disease and have been NTNP for awhile now. Once I mentioned my age (22 Aug 1st) he said that I should just wait and if nothing happens in 2-3 years then we can make an apt and talk..REALLY? He wouldn't even let me come in because I am "too young". Just because I am young doesn't mean I don't have fertility issues.
It just made me angry. I am married, and my husband and I both have jobs yet this DR wouldn't even let me come in because I am "too young". Its not like I was asking for IVF or anything, I just wanted more information about conceiving with one tube.

You should try a different doctor! My doctor knows my age and was supportive. She was Muslim so I don't know if her culture made her that way though, but I've only ever told two people about TTC (doctor and a pharmacist!) both of whom were asian and they were supportive! I swear it's just the British/Amercian way to be so critical! x

 

[StephieB]

This thread immediately caught my attention! This infuriates me a ridiculous amount!

I am 23, and my OH is 25 this month, and we are getting married in 7 weeks

We have been together for 2 years and have a lovely home with our two cats (rented, but still lovely!), and both have stable jobs (I am a teacher and my partner works for a bank).

But obviously, with our wedding being so close we constantly get "ohhh, you'll be having kids soon, but try to wait your still very young!" and even my mother in law says "well you can't have kids until you have a mortgage!" why??!! So we're also TTC in secret and the hardest thing is its taking a lot longer than we first thought

I have been off the pill for 13 months this month, and we have been actively TTC since January (i'm not sure if that makes us 7 months TTc or 13 months TTC?) and I can't talk to anyone about it because I just can't deal with the judging and the comments. Not only is it heartbreaking every time I get that BFN and AF arrives, but I have no body to talk to about it (obviously my OH, but its different because he's a man, if that makes sense?)

Hence why I have decided to spend a lot more time on the forums to actually get some support from people

 

[Allyson11]

We're ttc on secret too but quite a bit earlier in the game then most of you, I'm in my second cycle.
Oh and we're both 24.