"Your still so young"

[Beccaboop]

Yeah I get that too even tho we are both 25 and married and saving for a house and are going to start TTC when we have moved into our own home but for some reason his mum (and others but mostly her) still thinks we are still young and should 'live a little' first but we arnt going to stop living when we have a baby!! I heard the same things a lot when we were planning the wedding too!!

It's so annoying!!

My parents are opposite. My parents WANT me to have a baby ASAP! I have a big blended family, and my dad only has one grandchild. He said he wants me to have one as soon as possible so he has another baby to play with, lol. My mom isnt the mother of my sister who has the baby (dad was married before my mom, and my mom and dad are also divorced) so my mom doesnt have any grandchildren yet. My husband wasnt sure about kids at one point and then we talked and he said he agreed that we could NTNP and I called my mom and say "so me and brandon are going to have a baby" meaning we were going to eventually, and she thought I was already pregnant and got super excited, lol. I am happy that my parents are supportive though, I would hate them saying I was too young considering I already get plenty of it from other people. We havent told alot of people that we are NTNP because the people we have told havent really given us positive reactions..so like others here we are just going to tell people when we end up pregnant. My husbands mother is totally on board too. She keeps pestering my husband that we better have a baby soon so she has an even number of grandkids, lol.

It's my husbands mum who doesn't want us to have children yet my mum wants me to she already has 2 grandchild from my brother but she doesnt get to see them very often and she thinks she will get to see my child more as we are closer!

She even asked if she could be in the room when I'm in labour but my husband said he wants it to just be us so I had to tell her no!!

 

[tinyfeetdream]

Oh my god its so frustrating! Theres someone in particular at work who ALWAYS says to me 'you're only young, you don't want kids yet, enjoy your years now' blah blah effing blah...and even after my MC a few months ago when people said to me 'aww your only young, plenty of time' I wanted to rip their faces off!!

I'm 23, 24 in Feb, partner is 28 next month. We're engaged, live together, both work full time. We both want children!! Deal with it lol x

 

[TheNewMrs]

Ugh! I am so so glad I am NOT the only one!!!

Hubby and I were out this evening shopping for a friend who just gave birth, and myheart felt like it was ripped out.. I wished so much we were shopping for us!!!!

 

[Coogee]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for starting this very interesting topic. I'm 23 - 24 in March.

My party days are way over, I have traveled and lived in so many different countries that going on a overseas holiday is just more hassle than fun. I'm so ready to settle down. I can't tell anyone we TTC almost all my friends are highly educated and more focus on having high power careers, good for them. Been there done that and frankly the stress and office environment is not worth the money.
I'm happy with my simple job in health care and a simple family life.

 

[wannabemummyb]

You are lucky, i get the opposite! Im 30 in december and i get "ohhh times running out!"

I get the same (30 in nov) apart from my diabetes nurse who, whilst she is lovely, is a huge drama queen and over reacts to e drugging, but her nee saying is "your only young"

 

[TheNewMrs]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for starting this very interesting topic. I'm 23 - 24 in March.

My party days are way over, I have traveled and lived in so many different countries that going on a overseas holiday is just more hassle than fun. I'm so ready to settle down. I can't tell anyone we TTC almost all my friends are highly educated and more focus on having high power careers, good for them. Been there done that and frankly the stress and office environment is not worth the money.
I'm happy with my simple job in health care and a simple family life.

I had this really great job in Sales&Marketing, working 70+ hours per week, earning 1k-2.5k per week!!!

Money is nothing when your not happy, id much rather be a stay at home mum,......

People cant seem to comprehend that!

 

[Coogee]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for starting this very interesting topic. I'm 23 - 24 in March.

My party days are way over, I have traveled and lived in so many different countries that going on a overseas holiday is just more hassle than fun. I'm so ready to settle down. I can't tell anyone we TTC almost all my friends are highly educated and more focus on having high power careers, good for them. Been there done that and frankly the stress and office environment is not worth the money.
I'm happy with my simple job in health care and a simple family life.

I had this really great job in Sales&Marketing, working 70+ hours per week, earning 1k-2.5k per week!!!

Money is nothing when your not happy, id much rather be a stay at home mum,......

People cant seem to comprehend that!

yip we exactly on the same wave length. My OH is in the Army and I know what a lot of people are thinking ''the old cliche of the army wife'' but I grew up in a very unstable home. I know how well the british army looks after the families and we would be able to offer our baby a loving home with all the extra perks the army families get. I want to offer my child more than I had in life.

 

[Twister]

Ugh I know exactly what you mean. I'm 20 and oh is 24 so yes I may still be young but I've always wanted to be a mum, always. We were supposed to be ttc in secret but oh told his parents and brother and they all said the exact same thing, that we should wait. We were at his cousins wedding and his brother was a bit tipsy and gave me this massive lecture about how we should wait, that I'm not ready etc. His brother is lovely but ffs I though oh wasn't going to say anything! We've decided that when we do get pregnant that we are going to tell everyone it was an accidental surprise.

I feel weird because all my friends still like going out and getting drunk and stuff, I feel like I did all that when I was 16-18 and over the years it's become less appealing, I hate being hungover and I nearly always throw up even if I don't drink much, I went to my cousins for his 18th a few weeks ago and threw up in my sleep, I'm just glad I was laying on my side! If that's not a sign that I'm not cut out to drink then I don't know what is. I'd much rather stay in with oh and watch films all night and drink Ribena.. It's so much nicer than alcohol! People should mind their own business.

 

[Gismo]

This is a decision only you and your husband can make. If you feel you're financially stable and ready for a child then go for it!

 

[TheNewMrs]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for starting this very interesting topic. I'm 23 - 24 in March.

My party days are way over, I have traveled and lived in so many different countries that going on a overseas holiday is just more hassle than fun. I'm so ready to settle down. I can't tell anyone we TTC almost all my friends are highly educated and more focus on having high power careers, good for them. Been there done that and frankly the stress and office environment is not worth the money.
I'm happy with my simple job in health care and a simple family life.

I had this really great job in Sales&Marketing, working 70+ hours per week, earning 1k-2.5k per week!!!

Money is nothing when your not happy, id much rather be a stay at home mum,......

People cant seem to comprehend that!

yip we exactly on the same wave length. My OH is in the Army and I know what a lot of people are thinking ''the old cliche of the army wife'' but I grew up in a very unstable home. I know how well the british army looks after the families and we would be able to offer our baby a loving home with all the extra perks the army families get. I want to offer my child more than I had in life.

I understand completely, I mean my mum did her very best by us, and we all were so appreciative of everything shes ever done, but as a single mum with 4 children, it was tough spreading her time between work & spending time with us. I would just love the oppertunity to be a full time, stay at home mum..

My Hubby laughs at the enjoyment I get from keeping house, cooking the dinners and walking the dogs, bathing them and brushing them daily.. Some peoples ambitions are to be doctors, lawyers, vets, business men/women. I just wanna be a mum!

Hubby is a Fireman, so we can well afford to just live off one wage, our home is bought and paid for. Im NOT high maintenance, needing to have my hair/nails done weekly.. I just want an average life with an exceptional husband and our children.......

 

[Coogee]

Hubby is a Fireman, so we can well afford to just live off one wage, our home is bought and paid for. Im NOT high maintenance, needing to have my hair/nails done weekly.. I just want an average life with an exceptional husband and our children....... [/QUOTE]

well said!
I was also one of 4 lol.My mom did her best too, worked so hard to get food on the table etc.When I get pg I want to take the first year off and not work and then work part time 3 days a week.
I went to day care from the age of two 5days a week and amazingly I can remember it and I hated it!Cried everyday
Sorry if this offends someone but I don't believe the saying ''One can have it all''
one has to prioritize in life.

 

[TryinFor1]

I know how you guys feel. I am 20 and trying to conceive in secret. Everyone would be super excited if I wound up pregnant (mom started crying in walmart the other day because we had to go to my cousins baby shower and it was her and no me that was pregnant). Lol.

Although everyone tells me to wait because I have plenty of time, I dont want to.

I am also happily married. DH has graduated college over a year ago and has a very stable job. Our house isnt paid off but we make a lot more than we need to live on. We have an extra bedroom just sitting there! I dont party.. never have liked to. I am more introverted and extremely family orientated. I just want a baby..

 

[amb23]

I really, really hate to be told things like that. Obviously people assume women can just breathe in and get pregnant, but sadly for a lot of us it IS NOT that easy.

I'm sick of people assuming that just because I want to be pregnant, I am somehow irresponsible because I'm young, or that it is going to happen super fast.

Even OH doesn't seem to get how hard it can be. =/ Though bless him, he tries. Besides, he's cute so I ignore it.

But yeah. I really don't like to be told 'you've got so much time!' and whatnot. Yes, I'm 23, but that doesn't mean my baby making abilities will last forever, especially with PCOS/insulin resistance and whatever else.

I just hope OH has SUPER SPERMIES.

 

[TheNewMrs]

I'm so glad I started this thread! I dont feel like I'm
The only one anymore..

I was beginning to wonder if they were right, seeing as they were all saying the same think... Isn't it crazy what people will have you believe if you let them??

 

[amb23]

It really is amazingly insane how the mind works.

I'm glad you don't feel alone anymore! Nobody should have to feel alone, it is never a good feeling.

 

[Twister]

Sometimes I think "well maybe they are right" but it doesn't stop me wanting it. People are just scared because of my age I reckon. They assume that we'd be throwing our lives away when really it would make our lives that much better, not easier by any means but definitely more fullfilling. I know I'd be a great mum and oh would be a fantastic dad. We've even talked about the type of parenting techniques we'd like to use and things like that. People seem to think that because you're young you don't understand what being a parent means and how hard it is. But I think it's safe to say none of us on here are that clueless! Sorry I am rambling.

 

[amb23]

Sometimes I think "well maybe they are right" but it doesn't stop me wanting it. People are just scared because of my age I reckon. They assume that we'd be throwing our lives away when really it would make our lives that much better, not easier by any means but definitely more fullfilling. I know I'd be a great mum and oh would be a fantastic dad. We've even talked about the type of parenting techniques we'd like to use and things like that. People seem to think that because you're young you don't understand what being a parent means and how hard it is. But I think it's safe to say none of us on here are that clueless! Sorry I am rambling.

Hey, that's what this thread is here for! To ramble and rant away.

The other day I was with my best friend, and we saw an ADORABLE baby girl in the store. I leaned over and told bestie 'I want a baby!' and the lady behind us piped in with 'No you don't, they're EXPENSIVE!' ..

It really offended me, like I didn't know children were expensive. And to top it all off, it just made me feel terrible because I'm so up in the air about my ability to have kids. =/

I wanted to tell that lady off something fierce, like 'No shit, just because you went into it blindly doesn't mean some of us haven't taken parenting and birth classes. I'm actually an ECE major and want to learn everything there is to know about fetal development and birth and children. So thanks for trying to be my Mom. But I have one already.'

It just irks me when people butt in where they don't belong like that. Like just because a child is expensive it makes them less precious, or would make me want one less?

 

[TryinFor1]

I know.. I feel the same way!

I think I would be an amazing mom and DH would be an awesome dad. He is a little older than me, 23. I get kind of offended when someone tells me I am too young to be thinking about having kids. You guys are right, our baby making abilities are not going to be that great forever. I dont even know how mine work right now as I just got off bc about a month ago and have yet to receive af. AND that shit decreases with age making it hard after 30 to get pregnant! I would to have a few kids, preferably before 32. SO gotta get to it!

I am excited. It is a fun adventure.

 

[Stinas]

I think your age is a perfect age.
I am 27 and some people still think thats too young. I want to be a young mom. If I got married earlier I would have started right away as well. We got married last April.
Who care what people think. Everyone is soo opinionated these days. Drives me insane!

 

[amb23]

I have strong opinions, but I don't force them on others.

I mean, I'm not married to OH- we are comfortable not being that way, although I do see it in our future of course. It's just not a big deal to me, personally.

We don't own a home. Heck, right now we don't even live together (both with parents, as he is still in school and I lost my job 6 months ago and now work doing ChaCha part-time).

I don't really believe there's any preparing for a baby, and I'm a minimalist so I don't really feel the need to have an extravagant home. Would love a house, but don't need one to have a baby! XD

Anyway!

Onward and upward, ladies. We will prevail over all those who seek to conquer our spirits with words!