1 simple comment

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Nov 2, 2014.

  1. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    So I have 4 boys, we are TTC #5.

    I always wanted boys first, and it wasn't until my 4th baby when I actually felt that I wanted a girl. He was my first experience of Gender Disappointment.

    I've had my ups and downs but he is now a year old and as much as I'd still like a girl, recently I've been feeling really good. What will be will be and thats fine by me. I've accepted that I'll have a 5th boy even though I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm ok with that. I've been happy with the hand life has dealt me.

    Then today I read a comment on a TTC post, by someone TTC their 1st baby. They said they recently babysat a little girl, the only girl they have ever sat for, all the others have been boys. And that she was so much fun, that sure boys are fun too, just not as much fun as girls and that now she hopes she'll get a girl.

    This really annoys me. It also makes me feel like "yeah, and I bet she gets her girl as well. Everyone but me gets their girl" :dohh: I know this isn't true. I know people with 5/6/7/8 boys or MORE and no girl. But I just feel like 1 simple comment has taken me right back to square one. And I have to post this here or I'll comment on the post in question and ruin the original posters thread. :cry:
     
  2. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

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    Just pure ignorance Hun. My boys are hilarious, I find it hard to believe a girl could be more fun. But hey that's me.
     
  3. Rhi_Rhi1

    Rhi_Rhi1 Well-Known Member

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    not much help but I know the feeling. I hate feeling so bitter. I'm actually holding back from ttc at the moment whilst I address my gender issues. I can't walk around the shops without feeling bitter towards other shoppers just because they have one of each etc. It's awful feeling this way and I have days where I think who cares about girls lol. just pink frills and bloody barbies lol then like you I end up back at square one over something silly :hugs:
     
  4. pinklightbulb

    pinklightbulb Single Mummy

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    Know how that feels. Especially as I am not having any more and don't have a hope at getting a girl anymore. My brother hates that he has two girls and I have two boys, we each wanted just one of the other gender, lol. SIL is pregnant again now and I have another overwhelming "girl" feeling for her (predicted last two girls for my brother too, lol. I am somehow awesome at gender prediction and have never been wrong so far.) I will be utterly devastated if he gets another pink one. Mind you so will he hahaha but still.
     
  5. skyraaa

    skyraaa Well-Known Member

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    Erm surely it depends on the individual child and their personality wether they r girl or boy don't mean anything to how fun they r seriously lol, I'm opposite I hav two girls and wud love this one to be a boy , find out on sat send blue vibes this way ladies , as u don't want them il have them lol ;) hope u get ur pink bundles x
     
  6. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    Thats what makes me mad. As much as I want to experience a daughter, and I want to get all those pink things and girly toys, I hate that people seem to think one gender is better than another. Having 4 of the same I know that its all down to their personality, there isn't a gender thats naughtier or better behaved, or more intelligent, or sweeter, and definitely not more fun. It just really upsets me when people are so down on boys.
     
  7. skyraaa

    skyraaa Well-Known Member

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    Iv heard boys r a lot more loving then girls my girls will only hug if they want something lol , and like I said I'd love a lil man:)
     
  8. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I'm sure people are just as mean about all girls as they are about all boys at times.
    My friend had her 2nd girl in June and was convinced she was having a boy, they didn't find out the sex.
     
  9. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

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    I can sort of relate to how your feeling although I've only got two boys. We're currently 3 months pregnant with an earlier than planned baby and we've only just started to announce to people and already I'm sick of the "are you hoping for a girl?" comments even from close family members who know I'd love a little girl. However when I've got my sensible head on I know I won't care if I have a boy or girl, my two boys I've got already obviously mean the world to me and if I could have another boy as lovely as them I'd be more than happy. I keep reminding myself - as I was once told on here - that just because you get a girl it doesn't mean she'll be this perfect daughter I'm imagining. I still can't help but get extremely jealous when my friends end up with their daughter and I don't though.
     
  10. olivehead

    olivehead Well-Known Member

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    The grass always seems greener, doesn't it? I have three girls, and it definitely swings the other way too - I'll be PERFECTLY content with my little trio of ladies, laugh at myself for the minor bout of gender disappointment I'd had when we first found out #3 was another girlie...and then someone just HAS to make "the comment." In our case, it usually goes along the lines of:

    "Three girls huh?! I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR HUSBAND."

    Really? The girls absolutely worship their dad - he's so lucky to have such gorgeous and (most importantly) healthy daughters who just adore him. It drives me nuts. I find men to be particularly insensitive about it, though the nurse at the pediatrician the other day actually said to me "What, you don't know how to make a boy baby?" (Nope. Unlike every woman who's had a son, I simply lack the knowledge to create a boy. Please, share your secrets with me. :| ) I've learned to just shrug the naysayers off pretty well. We're blessed in so many ways and to get hung up on something as minor as the gender of our children is just silly.

    It is also hard because...I come from a large family, and I've always pictured myself having four kids. And now, of course, whenever this comes up, people just assume we're going to have a fourth to "try for the boy." Which really isn't the case (I mean, it'd be neat, but hey! I don't mind having all girls), and is just setting us up for the inevitable "AWW MAN!" we'll be hearing from literally everyone if/when #4 winds up being a girlie too. It's almost enough to deter me from having another baby, which is just ridiculous!

    /rant
     
  11. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    I get annoyed by the comments too, but tbh i get a lot of vaguely jealous comments to people with girls telling me I'm lucky as boys are 'better'. I don't think people think before they speak and it leads to heartache.

    I'm horrendously broody. I feel like i need another child but the fact that i may get a girl is the killer issue. I don't want people thinking that my ds3 was an unwanted boy in the quest for a girl. I don't want people thinking that if we got a girl that she would be more loved. If i could guarantee a boy each time i would keep on going forever lol
     
  12. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I hate that idea too, i wanted a bigger family and feel like now people assume you're going for a girl. Before I was too bothered about gender, when I was happy with all boys (in fact once upon a time I wanted all boys but didn't think I'd get that), dh said if there was a bigger gap between ds3 and the next then we could have 2 close together. I hoped that #4 would be a girl so that #5 could be a boy as I've always like the idea of a boy first and a boy last.
    I keep swinging back and forth between what's best. And like the younger ones are not as wanted or loved which is ridiculous because anyone with kids knows you love them all no matter what their gender.

    I was in morrisons today and heard a teenage girl talking to her friend about all the things she will buy when she has a little girl. And I wanted to say "but you might not get a girl!" Everyone just assumes you'll get both.
     
  13. olivehead

    olivehead Well-Known Member

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    Well, fingers crossed for you motherofboys! You'll have to change your forum name, yanno, if lucky #5 is girlie. :)

    I'm actually the oldest of three girls...and then my parents got a boy! And now I've got three girls. Maybe I'm just like my mother? (she's never satisfied... \\:D/ ).
     
  14. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    Ha ha I joked about that last time saying at least my name was still correct.
     
  15. MileyMamma

    MileyMamma Well-Known Member

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    I totally get you on this! I want a 3rd girl! I love the idea of my little pink team but now I'm pregnant with my 3rd and last baby people keep asking me if I'm hoping it a boy! I get all kinds of comments saying 'let's hope you get a boy next' or you must be desperate for a boy' they almost look horrified when I say no actually I would love another girl! Is it so hard to believe I could actually want another girl! Why do people make these assumptions? They then make me feel like I have to justify why I want another girl, and mostly reply with 'girls are so hard your brave' or 'your poor husband he must feel so alone surrounded by girls' actually he doesn't mind at all! He would like a boy but would be more than happy with a girl!
     

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