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10 weeks & Yep, Still worrying (9 MC's)

L

Lost7

Guest
Okay, so technically I'm nearly 11 weeks. I have by about 2 weeks gone past the latest I've ever MC'd (8+5)

I am still worrying and still panicking. I've had like 5 scans (at least now) and generally feeling like rubbish. Every single niggle, every single cramp and I feel that's it - babies gone. Another one.

For people who don't know me, when I watermark my photos I write 'Lost9' and I dread having to write Lost10. I joined this forum having only Lost7! :cry:

The worst MC I had was last year, I got this :bfp: only days before his anniversary of :bfp: and I am due only days before his E.D.D.

*I call him a him because of my Mothers intuition. I just had a very strong feeling he was a little boy, I named him Jake. I made candles for him, made him a special teddy bear and a bracelet.*

I also had to deal with very insensitive people last year, telling me I'd 'only' had a Chemical because I never saw my baby. I don't and didn't need to see my baby to know he's there. Pregnancy tests (Visible lines) and Quantitive Beta Blood Tests confirmed the pregnancy. I just had extremely low progesterone (Thankfully no problems this time around, so far) and I lost him eventually.

How can I stop worrying like this? It's kind of ruining the pregnancy. Every single day I wake up wondering if I am going to MC today. I wore pads every day until 8 weeks, then had brown CM in my pants and wore them then until 9w+3d. I'm scared and I until baby is in my arms I have no idea how to rectify this. I know stressing and worrying only increases the chances of MC, but this is something I've been through way too many times.

I went to The Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic October 2015, 2 days before Jakes' E.D.D and they did a series of tests, It came back positive for Lupus Anticoagulant. I feel relieved but also this adds even more stress to this pregnancy. I have closure as to why I've Lost9 but that doesn't reassure me I won't be Lost10.

Does this all make sense? :cry:
 
Sending my love. It's hard but maybe try a countdown until your next scan give you somthing to focus on ? Sorry if it's not much help. 10 days until your 12 weeks will that help you relax ? Xx
 
Try and take each day at a time hun. We have lost 16, all at different stages and even though I had my rainbow last August im now worrying through this pregnancy. The way I get through it is just to think ' right now I'm pregnant' and I cherish and enjoy every second. I refuse to think of what could happen past that moment or I know I'd drive myself crazy. Have you maybe thought about seeing a grief councillor? I saw one and it really helped me.
 

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