12th month ttc #2 never expected this! Anyone in similar sit?

[fuschia]

Hello ladies.

As the title suggests.. we are now on month 12 of ttc#2 after conceiving dd1 1st month!

So after getting myself all ready mentally a year ago now to be pregnant again and thinking id be a mum of 2 by now because I had thought again it would be quite quick... still nothing.
So just wonderd if there are any other ladies in similar positions that want to share support.

Are you thinking about starting tests/investigations? Xxx

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Hi Fuschia,

You are definitely not alone. I am part of a fantastic thread where all the ladies are struggling with secondary infertility. All of the reasons for the infertility are different so it's a great thread as we all have advice/suggestions and experience with different areas.

I am so sorry you are going through this - SI is so hard because as you said it was completely unexpected, esp. since you conceived your first straight away. I am now on cycle 28 of TTC but it's now been over 2 1/2 years since we started trying... Like you I thought it would happen straight away. In our case our issues are with MFI. My blood work, and most recently a Laparoscopy all show that everything is good with me.

If you want to talk to ladies in the same situation pop by this thread:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/secondary-infertility/1982373-35-trying-2-19-months-am-alone.html

Everyone is so lovely and friendly. Since the thread started we have had 3 BFPs and are hoping for another one in a week or 2 - pretty good odds! Oh and if you aren't 35 don't worry - the age is irrelevant as we are all different ages. Hope to see you there - that way you will be able to get lots of advice, answers and if need be a shoulder to cry or moan on Sorry you are in this situation - it well and truly sucks!!!

 

[fuschia]

Whiteorchid... thank you.

Got a bit emotional reading your lovely reply- its lovely for someone to just come and say- ' yes its a bit rubbish and sorry its happening to you too! ' rather than' it will happen when its meant to etc'
Thank you and thanks for sharing a piece of what your going through... must be pretty tough going.

I have seen that group thread prior to starting this one but never sure if it's already a bit overcrowded etc but now you have said... ill certainly pop by

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

The other thread has been a lifesaver for me and the ladies that have stuck with it are amazing... That being said I understand if it seems like to much for you....there are a few of us on there that has been there for a while so we are getting to know each other pretty well, but there are also quite a few new ppl who come and say hi etc but then we haven't really heard back from. LTTTC is such a horrible thing and it effects us all differently so it's really just what you feel comfortable with... If you think you might find the other thread overwhelming I'm always around to talk here!! The reason the other thread is so helpful is because we all have different experiences and live in different parts of the world. I am going to assume you are from the UK due to your "rubbish" comment!! LOL - I live in Canada but I'm British so that's totally something I would say but would never hear here!!

Are you going to go and see your Dr or are you wanting to keep trying a bit longer? We've hit the end of the road as far as tests go so we have to decide whether to just keep trying naturally and hope for our miracle or go and see a Fertility Specialist and see what our options are there.... It's just crap!! Total crap. Be prepared for worse comments.... if you tell ppl about your struggles (which is a total personal thing but I found it much better to tell ppl as it put an end to "so when are you having baby no. 2" etc....) it helps with some things but then at the same time I've also had to deal with (several times) "at least you have your DS...." or "be thankful you at least have one child - some ppl can't even have that"............ Horrendous!! But TBH I think a lot of ppl have just never heard of SI (I hadn't til it happened!) so don't really know what to say etc but here's hoping after everything you get your BFP soon so you don't have to deal with it all!!

 

[Vic31]

I can't really say much as it's rubbish, but...we took 2 months with our first child and 17 months with you second. No reason ever found. Don't want to write a long post as nothing can really help but I remember after 12 months thinking, "that's it, it won't happen." It does. It's very strange but keep going, you never know. I never thought it would after 12 months.

 

[fuschia]

Vic31 - thank you - actually that does really help.

The 12 month mark is set as the time period it ' should ' happen by and its encouraging to hear your story and that all is not lost just because its been a while! X

 

[tommyg]

Come and join the other thread certainly not over crowded we will always welcome new ladies as Orchard said we've a few who've popped in to say hello but never really became active. But we also had a couple who joined a few months ago who have stuck around. We've also got that BFP that we were all praying for.

 

[slg76]

Hi. I'm sorry about your struggle to get another baby. It IS rubbish and there's no good reason that some of us have to deal with it while others don't. I think it's unfair and frustrating when you can't decide for yourself when to have children.

I was very lucky to conceive DD in three months. We've not been trying for #2 for 2 years and only have 1 mc to show for it. I do know what my fertility problem is but unfortunately it's not one that can be fixed. So, I have to wait for an extra healthy egg to pop out when the stars are all aligned and my fingers are crossed


Now that's it has been a year most doctors would start some tests for you to see what is going on. The best predictor for good fertility is already having a healthy child so I think there's a good chance that you will get to the bottom of this and have another baby soon.

How old is your daughter? Mine is almost 4. I can't imagine how much harder infertility would be if I wasn't already a mom!

Good luck

 

[fuschia]

Tommyg thank you

Slg76 - thanks for sharing and im sorry you are having a difficult time . My dd is 2.5 - we started trying when she was 1.5 which was the earliest I was advised due to having a caesarian with her.

Ita obvious that there are so many women/couples out there that arw struggling to conceive again but nobody expects this with people that already have children do they!

Was just told last night of a friend who is pregnant with her 3rd - her 1st is only 2 years and 9 months!
I get quite jealous of ladies that are pregnant- but only really if I see them walking along with another child! If it looks like it's their 1st I don't mind lol! I wish I could extract the jelous feeling from my brain! Its not something I want to feel - I feel so bad for being anything but happy for my friend! !


Your right - it would be so much harder if it was this struggle with no 1. The thought between a life with 2+ children or just 1 precious 1 is far different from being faced with the reality of never being a mummy and I feel so blessed that I am 1 xx

 

[slg76]

I am 85% happy for my pregnant friends but the rest of me gets angry and jealous. It's only natural we feel this way. As long as you are supportive to your friends you don't have anything to feel bad about.

It seems that women can have a much harder or much easier time conceiving after having one baby. What a mystery our bodies can be! My mc actually gives me hope that I can still conceive.

I wanted my kids closer in age. Even if I got pregnant now we would have nearly 5 year gap . I'm starting to be kind of, almost, sort of ok with the idea that I may only have one. I don't know how I would have ever gotten past not having a biological child.

My DD is an extra special blessing. I had breast cancer while pregnant and she had to go through chemo in my belly. Miraculous that she wasn't harmed. And, it was the estrogen surge from being pregnant that caused my tumor to grow large enough that I could feel it. I credit DD for my early diagnosis and preventing my cancer from spreading. I am one lucky woman!!! Of course the cancer treatment is what destroyed my fertility

I'm pretty well versed in infertility and will help if I can. My best "fix" so far has been acupuncture believe it or not. Of course it depends if you have an anatomical or a hormonal problem. I wonder if secondary infertility is more common after c section because of scar tissue??

 

[tinadecember]

No you're certainly not alone, we're also on cycle 12 TTC number 2. We went to our doctor after 8 months due to being pregnant twice before and conceiving within 2 cycles. We told a little white lie and said that we had been trying for 12 months so they would do routine tests and the tests came back that OH has a low sperm count/motility

Since then we've had more SA tests carried out along with a HSG on me and numerous blood work. We've got a follow up appointment at the end of this month to determine what the next step is for us. xx