16 yr old, part time work and pocket money dilemma!

[cheekybint]

Hi all

I just wanted some opinions on this subject.

When my son was 15.5 I asked him to start looking for a part time job, he agreed, and I said I would continue his pocket money for a further 6 months to give him time to find one. His 6 months ended at Christmas, but he'd had no luck finding work. I put this down to the reccession and agreed to continue his pocket money whilst he carried on looking.

Last night, he admitted he wasn't looking, nor did he want to get a part time job!

So I've stopped his pocket money!

He's adamant that he shouldn't have to find a p/t job because none of his friends have one so why should he.

I was bought up to believe that you work for a living, you earn your money and you don't just take from your parents.

I was happy to give him pocket money whilst I thought he was trying to find a job but now he's admitted he doesn't want one/or looking I'm reluctant to give in

What would you do?

 

[moomin_troll]

i never got pocket money so he should count himself lucky that he got any.

from 16 with my first job i had to pay rent and so did my oh when he had a job at 12.

is ur son planning on going to college or does he just want to do nothing?

its hard to find a job right now but hes old enough to work so if he wants money he should earn it in some way so dont feel bad about ur choice

 

[cheekybint]

Thanks for responding moomin

He's going into 6th form next term and plans to go onto college and university.

I don't expect him to give us any rent etc but I do think he should at least be trying to find a part time job.

 

[bobsiesgal]

i got my first job when i was 16 and stopped getting money from my parents,

i think its a good thing as it teaches you how to budget and shows you how hard to you have to work for such a little reward which can be a good motivator for school, or at least it was for me.

you are right to think he should earn his money, but then it is hard to find work right now, could you maybe give him more jobs around the house so he is earning any money that you give him?

 

[cheekybint]

We used to do that bobsiesgal, but he got to the point where he expected to be paid for the slightest thing he did around the house. He was getting £10 a week just for walking the dog daily.

I'd continue paying him his pocket money but he's admitted he doesn't want to find a job, which I think is a terrible attitude for him to have. I don't seem to be able to get him to understand that we won't be supporting him forever and eventually he'll have to do it himself.

I'm at a complete loss with him to be honest.

 

[moomin_troll]

i wont be giving zane pocket money unless he earns it as nothing in life is free and thats an important thing to learn. my littler sister is 15 and has been spoilt she has no common sence, doesnt even no how to plate up a meal and thinks she can suddenly move out at 16 and instantly find a job and a flat....she drives me crazy.

if hes going to college then he can apply for ema which is at most £30 a week. if he cant get this then he will have to work to have money. theres always cleaning jobs around which was my first job that i did at weekends.

sounds to me like hes being a bratt and testing u. just for that attitude alone i wouldnt give him a penny

 

[futuremommy91]

I've had jobs from the time I was 16- doing everything from food service to teaching kids how to play soccer to cleaning men's toilets. It's so so important to get that experience, especially now as it's hard to start on the job market when you're older with no job experience.
That's happening to my roommate now- she's never worked a day in her life and doesn't understand that getting jobs can be very difficult and you need whatever edge up you can get. He may be able to do without pocket money for a bit- but have you considered making hum pay for something like his cell phone bill and such? That could give him the push he needs.

 

[Sophie1205]

Yeah at 16 its a good idea not to have pocket money as he needs to learn he has to work to earn his money. my mum stopped my pocket money when I went to 6th form and started getting EMA then I got a part time job and she starting chargin me rent (which i thought was unfair because I wasnt earning a lot at all)
Will he be getting EMA in 6th form? xx

 

[Trying4ababy]

I know you said you've tried the chores around the home bit already but could you maybe assign a certain amount to certain jobs? If they were not done satisfactory he doesn't get the full amount until he can do it right.
My parents had their own business and my brother and I had to help with the business to make pocket money or find a job.

 

[cheekybint]

Thanks for your responses ladies

Very good to hear that I'm doing the right thing. I will continue to encourage him to find himself a part time job.

I'm not sure yet if he will be eligble for EMA, at most he may be eligble for the lowest payment (£10 per week), all depends on which tax year they base our income on.

Thank you all again

 

[charlotteb24]

I started working at 15 and as soon as that started my pocket money ended but it was different, I wanted a job! When I left college at 17 I then had to start paying my mum and dad rent as they no longer got any money for me off the goernment. It did me no harm what so ever! Infact I thibk it helped me to understand the importance of my own money and how to pay bills etc!

On the other hand my 17 year old step son is just like your son and won't get off him bum to find a job! He would rather it handed to him on a plate. He gets £30 EMA which now has made him even less reluctant to look! But his mum is no help cos she just gives into him! So keep strong and your son will soon realise that nothing is free in the adult world

 

[CandJ]

Sorry I was lurking but....

I totally agree witht the other girls, I didn't get any pocket money after abut 14 so it forced me to look for a job as soon as I hit 16. It took me about 2 months of going out on a saturday to find something but I did.

I have a 17 year old brother, who gets everything handed to him as he lives with our father. (I lived with my mother) and he also can't be bothered to find himself a part time job.

I went back to work about 2 months ago after being a stay at home mum for a while, the first job I applied for I got so there is work out there if you look for it!

 

[xolily]

I worked from when I was 14 and never got pocket money - if I still needed money after my measly wages I would sneak home for dinner and keep my dinner money teens need to be taught that money doesn't grow on trees and most 16 year olds that I know work! x

 

[lozzy21]

I dident have to work while in school because that came first but once i started collage i had to look for a job. My mam gave me a few months to settle into collage but then i had to start looking.

 

[buttonnose82]

We never got pocket money, my parents couldn't afford it, we would get little treats here and there when they could spare the cash. I got a paper round the day i turned 13 and earned money that way.

if we wanted branded clothing then we had to earn (paper round money) the extra to go against what my parents would put in, so if we wanted trainers that were £30 but my parents could only afford the ones that were £10 then we had to put the other £20 towards them, we never went without the basics

What does he use the pocket money for? 16 is old enough to get some jobs and alot of employers might snap him up because a 16 year old is cheaper on their books.

I'd put your foot down, something along the longs of 3 months and thats it, however in those 3 months he has to earn his pocket money by doing jobs around the house for you, if he doesn't do the jobs he doesn't get the pocket money

 

[mightyspu]

Effectively, what you have done, is offer him JSA (jobseeker's allowance) which they stop if you don't get a job! You are showing him that things are'nt handed to him on a plate, and he needs to get off his butt!

Well done in sticking to your guns, his friend's parents might be able to pay for every teenagers whim, but you don't have to! It's a lesson that his friends will find out later in life and your son will no doubt look back and be thankful for the experience offered!

 

[Jkelmum]

My son is 14 and had 2 jobs plus his pocket money , I give him £5 a wk and he gets 15 a wk from paper round and 12 from washing cars , I agree if he wont help himself then you shouldnt help him x

 

[Jane1972]

If your son isn't eligible for EMA, do you think as its based on household income that you should not pay it? £30 a week is a lot of money & is unfair if his friends get it without having to have a part time job & having to comprimise on study time??

NOT my feelings but the argument that my 16 year old gave me when I brought up the subject of stopping pocket money & him finding a part time Job. Don't worry I have stood my ground but it makes me cross that he knows what buttons to press.

 

[Strawberries]

I got pocket money up until I got my first job at 16 then it stopped, but I also still got EMA from school. I really wanted a job for ages before I got mine, and all of my friends were envious because I was getting more money than them so they all went out and got jobs too but I think you should start working a little from an early ages, in these days you really need stuff on you CV and if he goes for his first job at say 20 they'll be like 'so what did you do with yourself up til now?'

I think you're doing the right thing stopping the money, he'll soon start looking!

 

[Sam9kids]

I with you hun!

My stepdaughters lived with us in their teens and we made them get a job at 16.

My eldest is 13 and hes just started his paper round which earns him £5 a week and he will be encouraged to get a part time job at 16 too x