16 yr old, part time work and pocket money dilemma!

[ChloesMummy]

My pocket money was stopped at 16 and my Mum sent out letters to every supermarket/shop in the area (she knew I wouldn't do it) and I ended up with a job on the deli counter in Safeway Lol He probs just needs a kick up the bum in the right direction, once he starts getting money in every month he will probs enjoy it. I certainly would not help him money wise if he is not willing to help himself x

 

[RHR]

I got my first saturday job when I was 14. I also got some pocket money but to get that I had to help out round the house. Once I turned 18 my pocket money stopped. I didn't get much it was £5.00 a week and I paid for everything I wanted except for clothes which my parents bought for me.

If he wants money he either needs to get a job and earn it or help out around the house to earn his money too. When my lo is old enough, he/she will be expected to do this.

 

[AP]

I wouldnt do pocket money. Jeez I never got pocket money, and I moved out, got a house and job at 16. I think he needs to learn money doesnt grow off trees

 

[bobsiesgal]

With EMA, i never got it because my parents earnt too much, and i NEVER expected them to give me £30 a week for nothing.

yes it isn't fair that some people get money for doing something they have to do anyway while others get nothing (it isn't means tested just income so not fair at all), but then life isn't fair, you just have to deal with it, and tbh you learn a lot more about how life works from working than getting money for nothing. you are doing the right thing by saying he needs to get a job.

maybe you could do what Chloesmummy's mum did and send out his CV for him, that way he has no excuse if hes offered an interview not to work

 

[Nickij]

My Husband is having this problem with his 17 year old son (nearly 18). We stopped his pocket money at 16 after he had finished his GCSE's saying it was now time to get a job. We often do still give him some money here and there (he doesn't live with us), but not regularly.

He doesn't want a job- but still keeps asking for money. We have told him that its important that he gets a job, because once he finishes college, it would look bad of his CV if he has never worked.

Its not like they have to work a lot of hours a week. Just a saturday job just to get some experience in a working environment.

I gather that your son (like my sisters) would be taking his GCSE's in the next couple of months? I would let him off until after they have finished, but then tell him that in the summer he must look for a job or the pocket money stops.

 

[aurora]

Absolutely give him a taste of being cut off.
I had to work from a young age, as my mom had more kids when I was a young teenager, and I wanted horses. Horses eat...a lot!
I became a responsible young adult for it. Those kids my mom had later in life? Well... how bout...irresponsible, nasty, spoiled, and no idea how to look after themselves. NO concept of the value of a dollar. They are 21 and 23, live at home, have nothing. I could go on and on.
Working is good for kids! is basically what I'm trying to say. lol

 

[Dinoslass]

My teenage children still get pocket money, but they also always get a job in the summer holidays to earn some more money. This buys them bigger things and to be honest lasts them quite a few months after summer. We give pocket money until they are 18 years old (adults)

 

[x-amy-x]

I got pocket money til i was 16, then i got a job. If he wants money he will have to earn it. But also as someone has previously said, if he is going to college and not entitled to EMA i think you should give him 'pocket money' that should cover his food and bus and whatever he might need for college. As essentially this is what ema is for xx

 

[keao15]

Hi, as soon as he leaves school after his exams or over (if he hasnt already) stop his pocket money dead. I never got pocket money and had to find a job to support myself though collage. I went to collage and worked 4 hours monday - friday after collage and 16 hours at the weekend. i had to pay my mum rent and contribute towards the food bill.
my lil sister also has the same treatment. she left school last year and went to sixth form she has a part time job at a hotel after collage and on weekends when she wanted to quit she was told she had 3 months to find a full time job and a flat before she was kicked out she soon decided that staying at home n finishing collage was the best thing to do. you have to stick to your guns and dont back down.
my partner's son turns 16 later this year and i have layed down the same rules soon as his last exam is finished i expect him to be in work and paying his way i will not be paying for his food and share of the bills. he has decided that it would be best for him to go in the army so is waiting to sign up.

 

[mamalove]

I am quite surprised by reading this thread. When i was a teenager i was given £5-£10 every day for school lunch,bus etc. My parents bought me everything, i never had 'pocket' money but if i needed something i'd get money for it. I never had problems with working or appreciating things, i grew up thinking that parents take care of their children, for me thats normal.
I would NEVER expect a 16 year old who is in full time education to work, i just don't think that can give 100% to either school or job, and personally for me school is the MOST important thing in their lives, they have their whole lives to work. As for paying the rent - that would never even cross my mind, :O..my child paying me to live with me?? I just can't get my head around it.
I will be taking care of my children until the day they leave my house, and afterwards i'll spoil my grandchildren! that's what my parents did for me and i think they did a brilliant job, and i am hoping i'll be like them.

 

[lozzy21]

I am quite surprised by reading this thread. When i was a teenager i was given £5-£10 every day for school lunch,bus etc. My parents bought me everything, i never had 'pocket' money but if i needed something i'd get money for it. I never had problems with working or appreciating things, i grew up thinking that parents take care of their children, for me thats normal.
I would NEVER expect a 16 year old who is in full time education to work, i just don't think that can give 100% to either school or job, and personally for me school is the MOST important thing in their lives, they have their whole lives to work. As for paying the rent - that would never even cross my mind, :O..my child paying me to live with me?? I just can't get my head around it.
I will be taking care of my children until the day they leave my house, and afterwards i'll spoil my grandchildren! that's what my parents did for me and i think they did a brilliant job, and i am hoping i'll be like them.

Even if there 30? I had to pay £20 a week rent once i started working. It cost my mam a lot more than this to keep me so it was the least i could give her.

My partner paid nothing and once we got a house together he was shocked at the amount that things cost.

 

[Jane1972]

I plan to charge rent when my son starts full time work & put it in to a savings account without his knowledge to give back to him when he moves out. I am hoping that way he will understand that things cost & with the way house prices are help him out when the time comes.

 

[x-amy-x]

My mam and dad are stopping all my brothers money when he turns 19. They are on benefits and recieve 90 a week for him until he's 19. He turns 19 this summer.

Id also like to add, he does have a job, and he also gets EMA from college.

 

[Lucky.M]

Most definitely you are doing the right thing. Or he will end up expecting life given to him on a plate. My daughter earned her own money from around 14. And even bought her own toiletries. She's 18 now, and pays rent, and mainly looks after herself. I think she would like not to pay rent, or to have to look after herself, but it's good for her to be able to stand on her own two feet. They will always say they have a friend who gets more than them, just stick to your guns. Good luck! xx

 

[pichi]

my parents have been amazing with me. although i didn't get pocket money as such - i knew that if i needed money i had to do something to earn it like jobs around the house, garden etc... once i left school i went on a year break. i worked in this year and have been in the same job since! on top of work i done 4 years full-time at University. My parents wont take anything off of me for rent because they know me. i dont go squandering my money on rubbish - it's infact sitting in 2 savings accounts. 1 for baby and 1 for a house deposit which will be getting used very soon for me and my OH purchasing our first house.

if my mum and dad hadn't given me that advantage i would have never been able to afford this deposit. it's taken me a good while.
when it comes down to money, i am very organised it is. my rule is if i don't have money for it, don't buy it. save for it.

for my kids - i would like them to learn the value of money - have them know that you have to do something in order to earn money and that saving money is a good thing in the long run.

 

[Broody85]

Hiya, I havnt read the whole thread and i hope you dont mind me joining in...but I just wanted to say that I think your doing the right thing to stop his pocket money. I was like your son at that age and really didnt want to get a job. My parents stopped my money and for a good while i went without anything....they didnt cave in! even tho it took me a little while i realised that i had to work to make money and even tho i hated my parents for doing it at the time I appreciate it now that im older (even tho it pains me to say that haha). Personally I dont think parents do their children any favours when they just hand them money. My OH mam is like this with him and he is 26!!! he has no real idea about money and has no idea how to budget himself. Im sure you dont want that for your son. hope this helps

 

[pinkmummy]

You are totally doing the right thing. I never got pocket money but if I wanted something every now and then I would get it.

I started a paper round at the age of 13. At one point I was up at 5.30am doing 2 paper rounds and then going straight to school (I used to do my round in my uniform and leave my bag at the shop!)

As soon as I turned 16 I got a job as a waitress, I completed my GCSE's and continued my job. Once I started college I started paying my parents £30 a week. At this point I was getting around £50 a week from my job and £30 from EMA as I was at college full time. I was getting the bus to college at 8am, getting in from college at 5.20pm, running home, getting changed and then back out again for the bus to ge to work at 5.45pm, I then worked to around 9/10pm got the bus home went to bed and did it all again!

So as you can see I basically worked since I was 13 and I came out of school with good grades.

I would not expect nor let my child to get pocket money when they are able to get a job but are just too lazy to do so so I think you are doing the right thing xx

 

[sarah1989]

I got pocket money until I was 14, and even then it was from doing chores properly around the house. I started babysitting (every weekend) when I was 14 and that is how I made my money until I was 17 and got a real part time job (on the weekends and sometimes after school) at a local grocery store.

Stick to your guns, and continue to encourage him to find work, he will find his way when he realizes he hasn't any money for what he wants to do!

 

[tasha41]

Stick to your guns.

I have always had a job since I was 15. Before that, I'd babysit here and there for money. My parents didn't give me a set allowance ever but if I needed money, they'd let me "earn it" doing some extra housework.

My brother got a paper route when he was like 11, did that 2 years, got a part time job. He gets advances from my mom but never gets money off her (though she does buy him say shoes, school uniforms, etc).

My sister is the middle child... has had 2 jobs, but got fired/quit both after a couple of months. My mum gives her money all the time... buys her more clothes than she needs, shoes, pays for her to go places. IT IS SUCH bullshit, I figure this girl costs my mom about $300/month in extra costs PLUS she pays her phone bill... so I'll round it to $500/month.

She has no intentions of ever getting a job because she's got it so good! She's going to college in Sept. with no money saved, is paying by student loan -- my parents have to cosign it, and I don't know what drugs they're taking because this girl is SO unreliable and selfish, I can't see college maturing her THAT much as she's going to live in a 6 bedroom house with 3 friends.

She is 19 this year, I think it's hopeless

 

[xxembobxx]

My 16 yo DD doesn't want to get a job or help around the house.
We told her we would support her totally while she was studying but after receiving messages from several different teachers about her slacking off at school it seems she doesn't want to study either.

We stopped all money to her. If she does nothing she gets nothing. That's how life is. She told us one of her friends gets £70 a month off parents and this girl will get full EMA so the parents can't be on a great income. This girl seems to be paying for our daughter to go out so us not giving her money is not bothering her much.

We think DD might be entitled to EMA but we're reluctant to apply as it goes straight to the child and I think that will give her even less reason to do anything. Easy money!

Who knows what the answer is? I did think about charging her a nominal rent and putting it into savings for her. I like the idea she learns to pay her way and if she ever makes it to uni she would have a lump sum to help her out with books and fees.