18 weeks pregnant with A cheating Bf

[wolfs_rain]

I am currently in this same situation, I am 18 weeks and found out that my bf of 2 and a half years has been cheating on me the past month with a co worker. I by far can say that the one kiss and hugs are nothing compared to seeing the i love yous that i had dreamed and wished for again being sent to her. We talked he said he owed it to me, our 1 1/2 yr old son and our 18 week old daughter to try and make it work.

Unfortunately I trusted him and believed he had ended it with the text that i was shown but about a week later he had fallen back into it after i had trusted him with all my heart believed him, so now I am crushed lilly want her father near but I don't want to cave this time it's either 100% never talk to her again or I will have to move this coming July to Texas and he will see less of the kids basically loosing me and the chance of even being with his daughter as she is born.

I feel like he can't be trusted but I want to make this work just this time I won't melt back into him I will make him earn his place back by my side and he has to work with actions and words to rebuild my trust as well as repair the heart he has now broken.

Even if he says he chooses us I don't know if I could let him be by my side as our daughter is brought into this world but most of all i worry she will look at what hes done in the future and have someone do it to her or even that our son will feel this is ok to do to another girl or woman.

 

[wolfs_rain]

shortly after posting I was sent this "I'm sorry. I was in rough spot in my life I am unhappy with where I am. I didn't mean for all of this to happen like this. I told ur bf today that it's done. We both have families and I'm sorry to put you guys through this. Your right I was being selfish. My sister just passed away last week and my own boyfriend wasn't even there to comfort me but he was. Your lucky. And I'm sorry this happened. I really am"

I should be happy but i can't be he didn't choose it so how do I know he would have. now I really have no idea what to do

GOD I WISH I WAS ABLE TO DRINK, SMOKE, OR EVEN HURT MYSELF WITHOUT HURTING LITTLE LIL LIL

please for the love of god help

 

[ricschick]

Wow I'm so sorry your going through this! I'm not sure I could forgive so easily but you no your own relationship. Does he say that he regrets it? But the one thing I will say is that you can't stay together just for the sake of the children because in the long run it will effect the children seeing an unhappy relationship. Xx

 

[Night Flower]

Personally, I'd move back home to Texas. If your bf cared enough to make it work and he loved you, he'd go back with you.

 

[wolfs_rain]

Well they live here right now they are retiring to Texas in July or August

 

[Gizzyy]

I would never stay with a cheat no matter how many times they said sorry. Really feel for you ultimately it's your decision but as the PP said, you shouldn't stay together for the sake of the children as it ends up doing more harm than good x

 

[mrsmummy2]

Sorry you're going through this

 

[baileybubs]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My ex-husband cheated on me and I swore that I would never forgive anyone who ever did that to me again, but saying that I didnt have kids then and I do now with my current fiance. I agree that you cant stay together just because of the kids, but I do think that you need to think long and hard about whether the relationship is worth working on. First of all I think you need to figure out what his true intentions are, if he truly does regret it and is sorry, and the only way you can do that is to see what he does from here. I would tell him you want to move back to Texas, that you have lost all faith in him and that if he wants to be by your side and be around for his children then he needs to figure out a way of proving that to you.

May I also add though that cheating is a bad thing to do to someone, but cheating on someone when they are pregnant with your child is absolutely terrible, and I hope he sees how terrible he's been and truly wants to make it up to you and work on your relationship.

If he really is willing maybe you could consider couples counselling or something?

Big big hugs

 

[Yo_Yo]

I'm so sorry you must be hurting right now

This guy has broken your trust as well as your heart. Once trust is gone, it's hard to rebuild. I would think very carefully if you want to be in a relationship your never 100% confident in.

Step out of your shoes and look in, what do you make of it? What woul you advise if our best friend told you this happened to her?

 

[vickyandchick]

I'm so sorry you must be hurting right now

This guy has broken your trust as well as your heart. Once trust is gone, it's hard to rebuild. I would think very carefully if you want to be in a relationship your never 100% confident in.

Step out of your shoes and look in, what do you make of it? What woul you advise if our best friend told you this happened to her?

I agree with this.
I understand how you feel as i recently broke up with my ex and although he's behaved like a P.O.S. I still love him.
Do you really want to be with someone who would do this to you, and does he really love you if he would do this? I know it's so so hard but if you can't make it work you have to tell yourself that you're worth more than this

 

[noshowjo]

My dear my heart breaks for you . I hope you make the right decision for your self . Xxx

 

[Laylagirl]

So sorry youre having to go through this.... How old are you both? Maybe he doesnt know what he wants? But then do they ever really know? Its the laws of nature..... Yiu have to trust your gut, and you have to know what you will take and how much of it, otherwise you cant live... If you stay with him and dont trust him, you will never be happy, and who really wants to libe with that? It was nice of the girl to apologize, but it doesnt make up for anything they both have done to you. But this is between you and yiur boyfriend and maybe if yiu bith sat down and talked you can figure out whats right for you. Or maybe take time off. Either way, YOU come first and children. Forget him for now and just take care of you. If we wants to come back, it sounds like there needs to be some serious changes. Good luck...

 

[Dobsd]

This is awful, so sorry you're having to go through this.
My opinion is that this guy doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Not until he's put in a hell of a lot of work to get it anyway.
I agree with what a few others have said - you should leave him and if he really wants you back he will try hard. That said, the time apart might make YOU realise you don't want him back.
With regards to the kids, he needs to earn their respect and this isn't a great way to go about it.
As awful as it is breaking up when there are kids involved, they will be much happier having two separate parents that are happy than having parents together who are miserable. Would you honestly be happy if you stayed together? Or would you be constantly paranoid about what he's up to? I personally couldn't live like that.

I really hope this all works out for the best for you x

 

[sandilion]

How horrible . i couldn't imagine dealing with this at this stage of being pregnant. He really doesn't deserve you after putting you through this ... I hope things work out.

 

[pinkribbon]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this you must be really hurting.

Personally I wouldn't give him the time of day. You gave him a second chance but he still messed about with her. If he really loved you he wouldn't be cheating on you, even more so since you're pregnant. I know it's hard, and you want to believe that he will change but I honestly do believe when trust is gone it's either very hard to get back or just plain impossible.

Sorry for the negative response but I really do think you deserve a lot better than this.