1st month TTC after a miscarriage

[tankel]

UGH, I went in for another round of contractions and passing tissue. I thought I was done but I guess not. This is a marathon and no one will even help me.

love4you and kozmikkitten -- Hope you get your real soon!

 

[Dill]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, tankel!

 

[AmandaW525]

Hi ladies. I'd love to join in the wait.
I had a MMC on 12/30. Finally passed everything on 1/2. Bled for 2 weeks then at 3 weeks post I got a negative hpt.
So I'm now 4 weeks post loss and I think I'm Oing today based on ewcm and cervix.
I'd love to chart but my work schedule is all over the place.
Hubby and I got busy last night and we're going again tonight.
It's all just so frustrating because I feel like I don't know my body anymore. I used to have 30 day cycles and knew exactly when O time was. Now I'm guessing at everything,
It was devastating to lose the baby and it just seems cruel that we have to wait and guess and hope all over again.
I'll be praying for all of our rainbows!

Sounds like we are on a similar schedule. I MC on 12/31 but not sure when or if I ovulated. I hope you get your rainbow soon.

 

[.hopeful.one.]

Hey ladies. Good luck and baby dust to all of you trying this month.

I had a miscarriage on jan 22 and we plan to try again after two cycles as the doctor suggested. Do you ladies track BBT? If so, when did you start back up after Miscarrying?

 

[Dill]

I don't track bbt. I've stuck with opks. They seem to do the trick!

 

[Leeswifey]

Sending you lots of love and baby dust your way. I suffered a chemical pregnancy early this month and I haven't detect a positive surge yet. I'm about to lose hope.

 

[Spudtastic]

I don't track temperature either but I don't think I could anyway as my dd wakes me up at all hours.
I've used opks one cycle and that resulted in a bfp.

 

[Love4you]

UGH, I went in for another round of contractions and passing tissue. I thought I was done but I guess not. This is a marathon and no one will even help me.

love4you and kozmikkitten -- Hope you get your real soon!

I'm so sorry Tankel. It truly is the hardest thing ever. I had to have misoprostol twice and still had to have my OB manually remove placenta from my cervix. Awful. And impossible to move on when you have constant pain and bleeding. I'll be thinking of you.

As for me, I hope I'm in the TWW. I'm not entirely sure. I had lots of positive signs and hubby and I got in a few sessions
But I am not certain as I feel like my body is still all over the place. So frustrating.
It's been 5 weeks and I'm just ready for something to happen. I'll even be happy if AF shows up so I know that things are going back to normal.
It's hard and sucky.
I hope you ladies are doing well and that we see some BFPs very soon!

 

[tankel]

Finally stopped bleeding. I might "try" this month without having my 1st period. Gotta do some research. I did an opk and it was negative.

 

[wearsunlight]

Hi ladies! I'm brand new to posting and to this forum, so hello to all of you!

It's my first month TTC after a miscarriage at the end of October (it was my first pregnancy). My doctor told me to wait 3 cycles before trying, so it's been a long winter of waiting so far. This was our first month trying.

I've taken a couple of pregnancy tests that were all BFN, but I think I tried too early. I'm actually doubtful that I'm pregnant, but so so hopeful. Every month since October has felt like wasted time. I got pregnant our first month trying the last time around, so I guess I'm just expecting it to be that easy again.

I know that it won't.

Anyone else have constant, obsessive thoughts about the baby you lost and the baby you hope to have? Sometimes, when I have down time, it's all I can think about. It's starting to drive me nuts!

 

[wearsunlight]

Gosh, you are so right! The waiting is just the worst. And thinking about the next marker to come is exhausting: "AF is here, TTC window, waiting for BFP, waiting for AF" REPEAT. What hurts the most is that I feel like I just went through all of that, but I didn't get my baby at the end, which makes it just feel like some sort of torture with no reward. Thanks for your post!

 

[Dill]

Gosh, you are so right! The waiting is just the worst. And thinking about the next marker to come is exhausting: "AF is here, TTC window, waiting for BFP, waiting for AF" REPEAT. What hurts the most is that I feel like I just went through all of that, but I didn't get my baby at the end, which makes it just feel like some sort of torture with no reward. Thanks for your post!

^ This, so much!

 

[tankel]

UGH! Totally agree wearsunlight.

 

[Fleur828815]

Hi ladies! I'm brand new to posting and to this forum, so hello to all of you!

It's my first month TTC after a miscarriage at the end of October (it was my first pregnancy). My doctor told me to wait 3 cycles before trying, so it's been a long winter of waiting so far. This was our first month trying.

I've taken a couple of pregnancy tests that were all BFN, but I think I tried too early. I'm actually doubtful that I'm pregnant, but so so hopeful. Every month since October has felt like wasted time. I got pregnant our first month trying the last time around, so I guess I'm just expecting it to be that easy again.

I know that it won't.

Anyone else have constant, obsessive thoughts about the baby you lost and the baby you hope to have? Sometimes, when I have down time, it's all I can think about. It's starting to drive me nuts!

My story is very similar to yours. I fell pregnant very quickly the first time and lost the baby in October. This is my 3rd month trying but I didn't ovulate the first cycle. I get you on the obsessive thoughts, it is all I think about and it is not getting easier as time goes by. I've actually become so convinced it won't work that I don't even want to try anymore because I don't want to get my hopes up like the last 2 months only to get a BFN. Some people claim that you're more fertile after a miscarriage, so I hope you will get your sticky BFP very soon

 

[Fleur828815]

Good luck to all of the ladies trying this month or in the TWW Hope you're all doing as well as possible.

 

[Dill]

I totally understand the obsessive thoughts. I keep wondering what I could have done differently, what genders they might have been, etc. I get upset because I have a coworker who was bragging about how quickly she lost her pregnancy weight because she was breastfeeding, and how I struggled to lose mine because I never got to breastfeed.

I envy women who have no problems with pregnancy. So many people just don't understand how hard it can be for so many of us!

 

[wearsunlight]

I envy women who have no problems with pregnancy. So many people just don't understand how hard it can be for so many of us!

Seeing other pregnant women has been one of the hardest things. For my husband, it's been seeing small children that upsets him. I have a colleague who is due two days after I would have been--it's the hardest to see her and be happy for her, when all I feel is insanely jealous.

My mom doesn't seem to get it either. She questioned whether it was because I was on birth control for a few years before TTC and pointed out that she never had a miscarriage. It just makes me feel like it's my fault, when I know that it was out of my control. I'm just so jealous of people who get pregnant and stay pregnant and never even worry or consider that they could miscarry. If I ever get a BFP, it's going to be all I think about.

 

[Dill]

I have a coworker who has been very supportive of me through my MCs since I've been working here (one of very, very few people IRL who even know I've gotten pregnant at all since marrying my current husband), but she does not understand AT ALL what it is to TTC, or to worry when you get your BFP and stress over whether you'll keep it or not. Hers just happened, right when she wanted them to, with zero complications whatsoever. She's never MC'd.

If it wasn't for these boards, and a sister who lost SEVEN before she had her three girls, I would feel totally alone and wonder what was wrong with me when so many other women just don't have any issues whatsoever. All of my friends and coworkers who have wanted to get pregnant have, without issue, and it's isolating.

 

[.hopeful.one.]

If it weren't for these boards I would be in a very awful state, I'm sure. I agree with you Dill, I have felt isolated lately. I know only a few people who have been through miscarriage and I'm not particularly close with any of them. This is the only place where I feel like I'm surrounded by people who understand. I think the hardest part is that people don't know how to talk to me so I feel like they are avoiding me. It's really awkward and It's frustrating because I really need the distraction. I've been spending a lot of time with my mom to avoid being alone and she really doesn't get it.

 

[Dill]

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone, hopeful! It's a difficult thing to go through. Have you tried doing anything else to distract yourself around other people? Pick up a new hobby, take a class, etc.? Maybe even something like a book or wine club would help. Or maybe talk to your doctor's office and ask if they know of any support groups.

These forums definitely save my sanity, but sometimes you just need a hug and an "I understand."