2 and 3 year old brothers CONSTANTLY fighting

[xxxLeoxxx]

As the title says really and some more!! I anticipated a certain level of clashes given that there is only 18 months between ds1 and ds2 but the fighting between them at the minute feels like it's got out of control.

To give a little context, personality and character wise they are completely opposite. Ds1 in a sensitive soul - he's never been a hitter/biter/pusher and if he's unhappy he will express it vocally by squealing the house down. Ds2 on the other hand is very very boisterous and is currently going through a pretty violent phase which we are working on ironing out but obviously this doesn't happen overnight - he expresses anger in a physical way.

So the problem is they can't do anything together without it turning into a fight. Ds1 snatches everything off ds2 or sometimes it is the other way around. Ds1 shrieks as loud as he can and ds2 bites/pinches. As I said, I expected some of this but it is literally from when they wake until when they go to bed. I spend the entire day trying to referee and putting someone on the naughty step.

I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve from this post, maybe I just need to get it off my chest because I feel so upset about it all - they seem to hate each other and any affection they used to show one another has completely gone (up until a few months ago they'd cuddle and kiss etc). I'm at the end of my tether

 

[CaptainMummy]

No advice... but Im right there with you!
I also have 3&2yr olds (although both girls) with 13 months between them, who are out to make each others day as awful as possible. They dont do much physical fighting (in fact, they never hit each other) but they are both evil! I wouldn't even know where to begin with what they do, but at least one is always moaning about another. They snitch on each other constantly (even my 2yo who was only 2 on monday has mastered how to get her sister into trouble) always teasing and taunting one another. They cant play nicely at all, unless they are chasing each other or spinning each other around, which of course always ends up with someone being hurt.

I keep hoping it will get easier, but just as my 3yos behaviour is getting better in general , my 2yo decides to turn into the spawn of Satan! They have ALWAYS been like this though. I am so used to it so it doesn't affect me much anymore... but they are so similar personality wise (both strong willed, hard headed, stubborn little s***s!)

Hugs, it is very frustrating!

 

[JumpingIn]

You said up until a few months ago it wasn't so bad...Is it the new arrival do you think? It's a big adjustment for you all and they might be venting without even realising that's what they're upset about. At least if there is an element of that it should settle down as they get used to having a sister (and less of your undivided attention)

Hugs! Hang in there. They do still love each other and it sounds like you're being so patient and understanding about it.

 

[xxxLeoxxx]

MrsMurphy - sorry to hear you're going through something similar but it's good to know I'm not the only one!

Jumpingin - they properly started interacting about 12 months ago and at that point it was probably 90% good play and has ever so slowly slid down and down from there. I'd say it's taken more of a steep slide since baby arrived (they've shown no jealousy though) but it was definitely brewing beforehand!

 

[xxxemmaxxx]

I have two boys 21 months apart.. currently 21 months old and 3.5 yrs old.. and i feel like they fight all the time. Completely opposite personalities to a point.. ds2 has always been more sensitive but hes very physical violently! Ds1 has always been very care free and cheeky but never really hit out at me. I have marks from ds2 so does ds1!
I hope we pass the hurdle.. just annoys me when people say they are boys they are meant to fight..

 

[Wilsey]

Not just boys emma, don't worry! My two fight (squabble but also play fight...which inevitably turns into real fighting) quite a bit. Some days are better than others.

 

[juliawat]

I am also there. Having two boys 3.5 and 16 months old... Well, it gets always better. I always try to reward the older one for being a 'good brother' instead of punishing him every time he 'hits' the younger one. Good Luck

 

[jensonsmummy]

I am still at this stage and they are 6 and 4. I spend my day refereeing them. I literally cant leave the room for 2 mins til someone is crying.