20wk scan

[Coffee]

Hey everyone!
Just got back from my 20wk scan and all is well and baby is healthy, so that's brilliant news. Can't help feeling disappointed by the whole thing though and just wondered what other people's experiences were?
When i got in the miserable sonographer told me she'd do her measurements etc and then show me. So i laid there patiently for 20 mins unable to see but hubby was watching the monitor with interest! When she'd finished she turned the monitor and said "right, there's baby..... there's an arm...." and then switched it off and that was that! I was expecting to be shown the heart and brain and a close up of the face etc, but got to see 10 seconds and that was it! I was so taken aback by how abrupt she had been i was in a bit of a daze and could just about say "but, what about the sex? is it a boy or a girl" and she said "well you didnt ask me".... whaaaattt?? So i questioned what she meant and she said "I cant tell you, you have to ask me during the scan and you didn't". Now, not having done this before i didn't realise this! Anyway eventually after my hubby said "well, we're asking you now, is it a boy or a girl" she just said "I don't know, i couldn't tell" and that was that. Hubby even had to go running down the corridor after her to ask for a photo and all she could say was "well you didn't ask for one".
I'm so pleased that baby is healthy, but so gutted about the whole experience at the same time - i didnt get to see anything or know anything - i'd thought maybe she'd tell me the height or whatever but not a word!
I just wondered what other people had experienced and if this was similar or was your (NHS) 20wk scan much better?
Thanks!

 

[honey08]

thats dicussting hun, i bet ur so diasspointed
my 20wk scan was perfect, she was doing it for bout 20min, she messured all his bones, told me the sex,his size everything, cudnt off been happier
if i was u i wud right a complait letter out saying exactley how it was and explain u feel like uv been neglected thro this scan x

 

[Sam_Star]

Awww thats awful she should haveasked you ig you'd have liked to know!! Cheeky cow!!!! Thats awful hun you should have been showed all of your babys organs functioning!!! Maybe you can complain and get another one done hunny x x

 

[peakydon]

Oh no thats just awful. Well I can't comment on the 20w scan but my 12w was gr8. I didn't need to ask a thing. The sonographer was very thorough and showed me and OH as much as she could. It doesn't even sound like yours has been even remotely interested. Is there any way you could somehow complain. Surely a 20w scan is as much for your piece of mind as it is for them to check bubs is making the right progress. You could maybe have a word with your mw next time you see her.

 

[Caramel]

Oh no hun, what a complete cow! When i had my 20 week scan she pointed everything out to both of us whilst she was doing it, I got to see everything that she and DH were seeing. Didn't get to know the sex but only because they refuse to reveal it at our hospital. Our 12 week scan wasn't too great though, think we had a trainee. I couldn't see the screen very well so gave up trying to look after a while, and we had to ask about the heartbeat and dates and stuff because she didn't volunteer the information - think she was just inexperienced though. Have to say I wasn't as fussed that I didn't get to see too much at that one as we had one privately at 10 weeks at Babybond, and another privately at 24 weeks to determine the sex. You shouldn't have to go private to get a good scan hun, but if it's something you'd consider I'd definitely recommend it. I did find that the NHS were very much a case of checking what was medically necessary and that was pretty much it. At Babybond they know you're there to see your baby, so they give you plenty of time and point everything out to you - although obviously the service should be good seeing as you're paying for it. I'm so sorry about the experience you had hun xx

 

[june09]

Aww sorry to hear about that. I know the feeling, I had a similar experience with my 20 weeks scan, got a really miserable lady who barely spoke a word and when she did she ssaid it that quiet that i couldn't hear her. She barely showed me anything, didn't mention anything about the sex and at the start she said any questions ask me at the end so I didn't ask about the sex until the end coz of her instructions to leave questions. Then when I did ask, she said it was too late coz i hadn't asked sooner. Then I asked for a picture, which she did give me but she rushed it that much all you can see is the babies head and she didn't even attempt to get the rest of the body in the pic. I was very disappointed when I came out, coz I had wanted to know the sex and was also disappointed with how she didn't tell me anything else at all. I just had to read the information for myself in my notes, she wasn't very friendly at all. More annoyingly after we got out the room and I went to the toilet, she was being really friendly with my mum and chatting away yet she was miserable and said nothing all the way through my scan. Where as the lady who did my first scan was lovely and did everything to make sure you could see everything and explained everything she was doing as she went along. I did feel disapointed for a good while after my scan, I was delighted everything was fine and the baby seemed healthy but just wished I had got the same lady who did my first scan. I am used to the fact now though that I will have to wait till the baby is here to know if its a boy or a girl. Will be happy with whichever but I just wanted to know so I could buy the odd little bits in the right colours. Then again I know someone who found out the sex and baught everything in blue only to find out they got it wrong and it ended up being a girl, so maybe it's a good thing I don't know lol.

 

[PrincessSoph]

so sorry you had a rubbish experience hun

my one was perfect she showed us everything and asked if i wanted to know the sex. id put a complaint in and maybe they could give you another one.

 

[babystar]

I would make a complaint about her.... here the sonographers are supposed to ask you if you would like to know the sex before you start and also they ask you if you would ilke a picture.

 

[golcarlilly]

You didn't by any chance go to Calderdale hospital did you cos I had the exact same experience there two weeks ago! I was totally gutted! After that we booked a babybond gender scan and that was brilliant, as was the re-scan we had last Friday (to check the spine cos the first sonographer hadn't been able to see it properly)

Honestly I wonder why some people are in the jobs they are in if they can't provide a proper service!!!

 

[becstar]

What a giant cowbag! She sounds like the one who did our first scan - who had also kept us waiting for 45 minutes while I was dying for the loo because she was late back from her lunch! How are you supposed to know you have to tell her those things at the start? Do complain - my husband complained about my 5 hour wait to see a dcotor on the maternity ward and as a result they're doing a review into staffing levels. It can make a difference. As for you - book a private scan and enjoy every second.

 

[Coffee]

Thanks for the replies ladies!
Golcarlilly - it was dewsbury hospital - they just seem useless there. It didn't help that i then had to wait almost 2 hours to see the consultant, only for him to tell me he didn't need to see me, so i had 2 hours sat in a hot busy antenatal clinic just stewing on the whole experience!!
Well, i've booked with babybond for a week on sunday now! I've gone the whole hog and booked the anomoly scan which is prob a waste of money as i know everything is ok, but at least i get to see all the bits i didn't see today and then see it all in 4d on top! yaaayy! I don't trust that sonographer today anyway, so will be nice to get a second opinion on baby's health. According to their website they will tell me the sex at the same time too - hurrah!! I shall definitely be drinking coffee and coke and scoffing chocolate before this scan and hopefully that should liven baby up a bit!
In the meantime i think i'll take all your advice and write a letter of complaint! We pay enough flaming taxes for this rubbish service after all!

 

[golcarlilly]

Yaay! babybond are so fab, are you going to Leeds or Barnsley? we went to Barnsley cos they had a sooner appointment! We had the gender scan (£79) but they did an anomaly one as well and it was great!

 

[Coffee]

We're going to Leeds.
I looked at barnsley as it isnt that much further away for us and could have got in earlier there but decided to wait that little bit extra time as i know they say the 4D is better after 24 weeks really. Hubby wanted us to wait 4 weeks but i was like errrr NO WAY! I guess next weekend rather than this weekend is a bit of a compromise??!!!
Hubby is also wanting me to change hospitals now as he was shocked by how we were treated it general today - waiting times, miserable midwives etc... not sure what to do... i'm going to have a think about it. He hasn't been to all the appointments with me so far, so i think i've got used to it being a sloooooowww conveyerbelt of preggo ladies already, whereas he's just been with me to the scans and so was shocked today when i had the AN clinic afterwards and how rubbish they were! He even told me to book straight away the NCT antenatal classes that he previously told me were a waste of money when NHS ones for free!!

 

[Vickie]

wow that's an awful way to be treated! I was able to see the screen the majority of the scan and they asked me if I wanted to know the sex.

 

[golcarlilly]

LOL she let us have peep at 4d and it was really clear, she said it was more blurred than when they do them at 24+ weeks but we thought it was a brilliant picture, their equipment is so much better than the NHS stuff and it shows!! Hope you have a fantastic experience

 

[Pippin]

Aww hon, my experience wasn't like that but I had the same outcome. I had a trainee who was rough and fairly incompetent. We made it clear that we wanted to know the se and after 45mins she hadn't told us when we reminded her the other sonographer took over who was much better and by that time the baby had it's legs shut and was hiding under my belly button so couldn't see. I could see as they had two screens but my 12 week one was like that so I understand. Any chance you can get a private one they are guaranteed to be lovely and with two screens!!! I have to go back as baby wouldn't show it's face so luckily I get another shot. Sorry you had such a terrible time.

 

[Caramel]

Enjoy your Babybond scan hun, they really are worth every penny!

Unfortunately I think most NHS hospitals have a tendency to treat you as a number instead of a person, and they definitely forget how precious a pregnancy is to a woman. Do you know many people who've actually given birth at your hospital? Neither my hospital or midwife have filled me with reassurance from the experience I've had so far to be honest (although in fairness my treatment hasn't been bad, just mediocre), but I think sometimes hospitals can be much better when it comes to the actual delivery. I'm not a huge fan of my hospital, but I was there with my sister when she gave birth to my nieces and the midwives in the delivery suite were fab. See if you can get yourself some opinions from other women who've had baby's at your local hospitals - it may help put your mind at rest. And remember getting a crap sonographer needn't mean you'll receive crappy midwifery care later on.

Big xx

 

[Pippin]

Just read you have booked already that's marvelous news and it's well worth it. Just realised too that they didn't tell me anything like weight ect but apparently he/she is all fine. x

 

[Pippin]

It's not to late to change your hospital by the way!!!

 

[Waiting4Baby]

That's similar to what I got when I had an ultrasound at 13 weeks, the one where I actually got pictures (sorry that you didn't! ). The woman did all of her measurements with it facing completely away from me so I couldn't see a thing, but my husband could see the whole thing. I thought it was completely unfair. Then she turned it around and said "Okay, so you're measuring at 13 weeks 3 days with a due date of August 31st. Here's your baby. Here's a foot, a hand, the face...." I watched her snap all of the photos. It really seemed like only seconds that I got to see my baby but I got pictures too and was so happy about that that nothing bothered me in the world and I just stared at them all day. She only gave me three pictures when she printed off like 5,000 for the OB.

I wonder why they make it face away from you so you can't see it though? Grrr.