3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[PinkPeony]

Yeah warning cramps is what I'd call it. I'm confused about when AF would come too. My cycles are pretty wacky and I think the drugs would throw everything off. I'm keeping my abdomen warm and they're sorta coming and going now.

As for HPT... I've resolved to wait till after the wknd bc I'm going to a cottage with some friends and I don't want to be a sad sack if it's a BFN.

 

[Maverick007]

Yeah warning cramps is what I'd call it. I'm confused about when AF would come too. My cycles are pretty wacky and I think the drugs would throw everything off. I'm keeping my abdomen warm and they're sorta coming and going now.

As for HPT... I've resolved to wait till after the wknd bc I'm going to a cottage with some friends and I don't want to be a sad sack if it's a BFN.

I totally get that. I'm really hoping this is it and not she-who-shall-not-be-mentioned!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Mrs T: congrats! Great news!

Pink: I just checked my journal from last year and I also felt cramps around this time. I think cramps are a good sign! I even had some spotting which totally freaked me out. Sounds like everything is on track!

 

[baby.wish]

Pink what day post transfer do you they make you test your beta? Mine was done 9dp5dt

 

[PinkPeony]

Ugh 14dp5dt. They're trying to make their patients INSANE I think.

 

[baby.wish]

Ugh 14dp5dt. They're trying to make their patients INSANE I think.

Wow thats a long time to wait and here I thought 9 days post transfer was brutal. You are in Toronto right?

 

[PinkPeony]

Yup! Where are you?

 

[Strawberry13]

Ugh 14 days does sound like a terrible wait!! You have patience girl. I just keep hearing that so many girls get AF cramps during this time in ivf. I probably wouldn't believe it either but you have to trust that it really could be it!

Mrs t amazing news so happy for you!!

 

[baby.wish]

Yup! Where are you?

Vancouver

 

[Jlh1980]

I'm sorry you are going through this Babywish.... When is your us?

 

[StayHopeful]

Maverick, great news about your ultrasound! Congratulations!

Pink, my first beta was 14dp5dt too. It was torture! I ended up doing an hpt 9dp5dt because I just couldn't stand it. I definitely had some cramps too. Hang in there! Spotting can be normal during implantation too. With all of my IUIs, I never started AF until after I stopped the progesterone even though it was a bfn.

Mrs. T, hooray for a successful transfer and great news about your other embryo!

Baby.wish, hang in there! Thinking about you!

 

[Breaking Dawn]

Ladies...I have an update for you.

This evening I got home around 7pm, plan was to eat and hang out with DH and then take gonal F (start of IVF). This morning I had picked up all the meds and ivf info.

So, we're having dinner and I'm feeling this uneasy feeling in my gut. And then it turns into me feeling blah, and down and before I know it I'm crying!!

DH and I spent 2 hrs talking about the past 9 months of fertility treatments AND now move to ivf. So, I got to the bottom of my feelings:
- I have been feeling like I can do ivf, but it's more like I must do ivf .
- i have put the pressure in myself that i MUST get pregnant NOW
- I realized that of course I want to be pregnant but not at the expense of my mental and physical health
- my whole life has been focused like a microscope on fertility, I live in 2 week increments
- I was feeling so uneasy bc I was moving to IVF because I felt that's what I MUST DO, jump right into it, not take a break, keep the pressure on myself, that if I just focus and keep going cycle after cycle after IUI and now ivf I will be pregnant.
- BUT I'm not, and that's ok bc I've learned what did nt work for me, so when I'm physically and mentally ready for treatments I know then if IVF Is right for me bc I'm making the CHOICE to the that step and not on a runway train.


After the convo and these realizations, I took a deep breath and SMILED for the first time since my BFN on Saturday. Because I'm happy where I am right now bc it's MY DECISION and not a decision that's fallen on my lap.

I hope you all understand what I mean, I feel sooo relieved and I know you were excited for my IVF journey and I thank you for your support. And I hope that will now be excited for my current journey of being healthy, exercising and enjoying sex with my husband.

IVF is not off the table, maybe it will be oct, nov...or January .

It's just not right for me right now.

 

[Mrs. T]

I get what you mean. There were circumstances which made me want to postpone this round but felt pressure to go ahead with it. Good for you for making yourself happy and following your gut.

 

[PinkPeony]

I think that's a really good idea Breaking Dawn. I was a little surprised you were going to jump right into it like that. I gave myself a break from fertility stuff too before starting IVF. Partially I was forced bc of switching to a new clinic but then even when we could have started we decided to take a trip to help heal from all the failed IUI's and our thinking was when we get back we'll decide whether we'd start the next day 1 or not.
I think after having repeated failed cycles it's important to take a break. When you're in the midst of it, it seems like a few months is like eons but in the larger scheme of things it's nothing and it will do wonders for your mental health. You need a chance to live like your regular self again without the shadow of fertility treatments over you.

 

[Strawberry13]

Breaking dawn I'm happy that you've come to the decision and you're at peace with it. In the grand scheme of things one or two months won't make a difference. For us, when we finally came to the conclusion that we likely wouldn't get pg w/o ivf, we still had several more months if treatments and waiting for appointments. But now we're finally there and the last month I've been more hopeful and excited than ever before so I'm glad we had those extra few months to come to terms with it. Hope you'll still hang around and give us updates

 

[Bma11]

Breaking dawn- everything happens for a reason!! And last night was no exception. I'm so glad you came to realizing that and when you are ready for ivf, you will be happy and positive and not down and upset.. You know? I think it's awesome. I gave myself a few months after my laparoscopy to try naturally and enjoy life.

Please hang around and update

 

[Maverick007]

BreakingDawn, it's great that you were able to recognize that before you went through this process because it challenges you in so many ways. I can personally attest that my husband and I really struggled with the mood swings and emotional side of it. Taking time to get healthy and emotionally ready is never a bad idea. I wish you the best when you do decide to move forward.

 

[baby.wish]

I'm sorry you are going through this Babywish.... When is your us?

I go for a blood test Sept 12, us Sept 13. I am having such a hard time with it, i can't sleep well and then I wake up really early and find myself just staring at the ceiling. Its pure torture. Thanks for checking up on me. I'm really trying to be positive and realize its not in my control but sometimes easier said then done. Last night I tried to meditate and for the half hour I did it, it helped take my mind off things.

 

[Mrs. T]

So the morula I had yesterday that they wanted to monitor and freeze today didn't make it. I am okay with that. It would have been nice but I am focused on the two in me right now.

 

[baby.wish]

Ladies...I have an update for you.

This evening I got home around 7pm, plan was to eat and hang out with DH and then take gonal F (start of IVF). This morning I had picked up all the meds and ivf info.

So, we're having dinner and I'm feeling this uneasy feeling in my gut. And then it turns into me feeling blah, and down and before I know it I'm crying!!

DH and I spent 2 hrs talking about the past 9 months of fertility treatments AND now move to ivf. So, I got to the bottom of my feelings:
- I have been feeling like I can do ivf, but it's more like I must do ivf .
- i have put the pressure in myself that i MUST get pregnant NOW
- I realized that of course I want to be pregnant but not at the expense of my mental and physical health
- my whole life has been focused like a microscope on fertility, I live in 2 week increments
- I was feeling so uneasy bc I was moving to IVF because I felt that's what I MUST DO, jump right into it, not take a break, keep the pressure on myself, that if I just focus and keep going cycle after cycle after IUI and now ivf I will be pregnant.
- BUT I'm not, and that's ok bc I've learned what did nt work for me, so when I'm physically and mentally ready for treatments I know then if IVF Is right for me bc I'm making the CHOICE to the that step and not on a runway train.


After the convo and these realizations, I took a deep breath and SMILED for the first time since my BFN on Saturday. Because I'm happy where I am right now bc it's MY DECISION and not a decision that's fallen on my lap.

I hope you all understand what I mean, I feel sooo relieved and I know you were excited for my IVF journey and I thank you for your support. And I hope that will now be excited for my current journey of being healthy, exercising and enjoying sex with my husband.

IVF is not off the table, maybe it will be oct, nov...or January .

It's just not right for me right now.

Breaking Dawn I am so proud of you. You were able to articulate what many of us have felt before or are feeling right now. I am just like you I take on so much stress to become pregnant NOW so I completely understand. Fertility sometimes takes over all aspects of your life and I agree the pressure can get so intense that your mental and physical health suffers. I aplaud you on your decision to look after yourself right now and then when YOU are ready you will take on IVF if required. Who knows you may not even need it! Good for you and we are all here to support you no matter what.