3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[Strawberry13]

Thanks guys. Trying to hold out hope.

 

[Sunshine24]

Hi all-

I just wanted to check in and get caught up on what is going on with everyone here....

Strawberry-- my fingers are crossed for you!! It only takes one good one

baby.wish- I am so sorry you're going through this

All the BFP's that I missed, congrats ladies!! You give everyone hope that it CAN and WILL happen for all of us.

Mrs. T---- CNY is where I went! ( And had success!! ) The head doc is AMAZING, the staff is superb, and they cried tears of joy right long with me when they told me about my long awaited BFP. Highly recommend them.

AFM- I'm 30 weeks pregnant now, which still seem surreal at times. Many of you on this board that have been around for a while may remember my journey, and it was a long and hard one. But I got here!!! And I truly believe if I can get here, you will all too.

It's amazing to me that last year at this exact time I had just completed my first ( of 5, all failed ) IUI's and was entering such a difficult place in my life and marriage.....and now we are happily awaiting a new baby in 10 weeks. Things WILL change, miracles DO happen, and I believe all of your dreams WILL come true.

I pray for all of you every night, I know this is not as easy road to travel, but lean on each other and you will get through . This board kept me sane through my IUIs, surgery, and final IVF........

Stay strong!! BELIEVE!!!

 

[baby.wish]

Thanks guys. Trying to hold out hope.

Hi Strawberry try and stay strong all it takes is one. Lots of ladies on this board have proven thats all it took. Any update today on how they are doing?

 

[PinkPeony]

Aw Sunshine! I can't believe you're already 30 weeks!! I remember when you were going through your ivf - it feels like not so long ago. I remember feeling I would NEVER get there.

 

[Chris_25]

glad you're getting started Chris! hoping for great news soon!

Thank you!

 

[Bma11]

sunshine , I'm glad to know everything is still going well for you!!

 

[Chris_25]

Hey guys, I received some bad news today. Of my 15 eggs, only 3 were mature and 2 fertilized. We are crushed. They have no idea what happened and I'm waiting for a call from the doctor now. They said it will definitely be a 3 day transfer.

I know there are plenty of stories about people that this happened to that it still worked for, and that its quality but not quantity, but this is just so hard to hear this news. I feel like a complete failure. My only hope that I'm holding onto is that one of these 2 is the one that God wants for us and this is how it has to happen for us.

I'm really sorry to hear this and I can imagine how frustrated you are! let's just pray that the good one is the one that God wants for you

 

[Chris_25]

Hi all-

I just wanted to check in and get caught up on what is going on with everyone here....

Strawberry-- my fingers are crossed for you!! It only takes one good one

baby.wish- I am so sorry you're going through this

All the BFP's that I missed, congrats ladies!! You give everyone hope that it CAN and WILL happen for all of us.

Mrs. T---- CNY is where I went! ( And had success!! ) The head doc is AMAZING, the staff is superb, and they cried tears of joy right long with me when they told me about my long awaited BFP. Highly recommend them.

AFM- I'm 30 weeks pregnant now, which still seem surreal at times. Many of you on this board that have been around for a while may remember my journey, and it was a long and hard one. But I got here!!! And I truly believe if I can get here, you will all too.

It's amazing to me that last year at this exact time I had just completed my first ( of 5, all failed ) IUI's and was entering such a difficult place in my life and marriage.....and now we are happily awaiting a new baby in 10 weeks. Things WILL change, miracles DO happen, and I believe all of your dreams WILL come true.

I pray for all of you every night, I know this is not as easy road to travel, but lean on each other and you will get through . This board kept me sane through my IUIs, surgery, and final IVF........

Stay strong!! BELIEVE!!!

wow you are due in 10 weeks already? Where does time go!

 

[Mrs. T]

Sunshine24, congrats on your bfp!

Which one did you go to? I keep hearing they're overbooked and you barely ever see the doctor.

 

[StayHopeful]

Strawberry, thinking about you and those two little embryos. Try to stay positive and keep us posted!

 

[Strawberry13]

Thanks, Stay How have you been feeling? Actually, how are all of our preggos feeling? Any ultrasound updates??

So I have some updates, and apologies if this is a little long...

So basically, my 2 embryos are still growing and I'm going to transfer them this afternoon. I'm not sure about the grades, they will tell me today.

Also, I finally spoke to my doctor last night about what the f*ck happened here. He acknowledged that this was a huge disappointment and definitely not typical. He said that their general rule is that if there are at least 2 follicles over 17 they will trigger that day, in my case there were at least 3 that were over 17 and several not far behind, plus my estrogen levels were good and leveling out, so there was no question in their minds that I was ready to trigger. Unfortunately, as they found out after my retrieval, follicles of this size did not = mature eggs for me. So he said if and when I have to do this again they would start me on lower doses and let me go at least one day more on the stims than they normally would. I also asked if there is a chance that every time I've done IUI's, and I trigger when the follicles are 18-20 if that has been too early for me and I've been releasing immature eggs, he said that could definitely be the case and part of the reason I haven't gotten preggo. He said this is why IVF is diagnostic also, and they may learn something on the first cycle that they didn't know before which is unfortunately too late for this go around. But he did say not to give up hope, and that these 2 embryos may have been the strongest ones we ended up transferring anyway, so we still have a shot.

Anyway, it was good to talk to him, but I have to admit, I'm not feeling hopeful at all about this transfer. Something in me is just saying that the cycle is a bust and I don't have a shot. I know it's bad to think that way, but it is how I feel. I will keep you posted, my transfer is at 2PM today.

 

[PinkPeony]

Hmmm. That's really interesting Strawberry. I often had a gut feeling that my dr was telling me to trigger too early for IUI as well. I feel like she triggered too early and then did the IUI too soon after. But who knows.
I know how hard it is to stay positive but there's really no reason to feel like it's all a bust. When I was IVF-ing I just kept focussing on the idea that we have a possibilty. You're transferring 2 embryos, that's your best shot yet for sure. Good luck today, I'll be sending good sticky vibes.

 

[Maverick007]

Strawberry, praying and hoping for the best for you. I know this has not turned out the way you would have wanted, but if those embryos are doing well, you still have an excellent shot. Even when everything goes "perfect," it's still normal to be worried/pessimistic etc. and I think sometimes we feel that way to protect ourselves from getting our hopes up too much. At least I did that...I didn't want to crash back down to earth if I got too optimistic and it didn't work. Will be thinking about you today!

AFM, I got to see new OB on Weds. and saw the baby on the u/s. it looked like a little gummy bear and moved a tiny bit as well which was surprising! Heart rate and size all looked good. I don't go back till Oct. 16.

 

[Sunshine24]

Mrs T-- I will inbox you with some details

 

[Strawberry13]

Thanks guys. Yeah mav I think that it is a way of protecting ourselves, if I'm too hopeful I feel like I'll feel so stupid and disappointed later that it isn't worth it. I'm still going to try and relax, eat healthy, take my progesterone, ect the next 2 weeks and hope for the best even when I don't feel like it will work.

Such exciting news about going to your ob already and seeing it move! That must've been a very exciting moment for you guys.

 

[Strawberry13]

The embies were 5 and 6 cell today which isn't great but not terrible. Definitely feeling even less hopeful than before. I just can't imagine having to go through all of this again in another 2 months. It is too emotionally, physically, and financially draining. Just want to crawl into a hole and die now.

 

[Maverick007]

hon i'm really sorry you're feeling so down. wish there was something i could do to help...please just take really good care of yourself and do all you can to give those babies the best chance possible...i'm still really hopeful for you. here to listen if you just need to vent.

 

[StayHopeful]

Strawberry, 5 and 6 cell is good for day 3. And remember, the best place for those embryos to be is inside mommy. Everything they do in the lab is just trying to mimic your body. I still have hope for you this cycle! I agree that it's natural to try to protect ourselves, too. I definitely had days during my TWW when I was convinced it didn't work and even once I got my bfp, I feel like I've been mentally and emotionally holding back because I've been afraid of losing another baby. When you go through as much as we have, I think that's normal. Sending lots of positive vibes your way!

AFM, finally at 12 weeks! We shared the news with friends and family this week and went public on Facebook yesterday. I've recovered from that nasty morning sickness bout last week and the new med the doctor has me on is working so much better, I haven't thrown up once (knock on wood!). DH and I got in a fender bender on Sun and while we're both fine, we were completely freaked out about the baby so we went to the ER and an ultrasound (my first over the tummy one!) showed everything is fine. I had my first appointment with my regular OB on Monday, they didn't do an ultrasound but she did check the baby's heartbeat with a Doppler. We got a ton of info at that visit... They were already asking if I'd want an epidural or if we would circumcise the baby if it's a boy and we hadn't thought about any of that. We have an ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday for the NT screening and our anatomy scan is scheduled for Halloween!

 

[Strawberry13]

Thanks for being positive for me guys

Stay I can't believe you're in your 2nd trimester, time flies! Must've been so refreshing to tell everyone and announce of Facebook after all of this time waiting and seeing everyone else's announcements. I hope you're starting to feel more confidence with everything, I know its hard and you'll probably get worried about other things the whole time but just think about how far you've come! Stinks about the accident, I seem to remember didn't that happen around your ivf time too? It never ends lol but I'm glad everything is ok!

 

[Bma11]

Strawberry- FX for you that this is it. With so many ups and downs this cycle it's normal to feel pessimistic. No one faults you for that, we have all been there. At least we can be your cheerleaders. While your embryos may not be perfectly celled (they just told me mine were good,... No grades. It went good, fair, poor) you are young and there is no reason why they shouldn't implant keep us updated on how you are feeling etc!!

My twins are perfect. & last night I felt my little boy move quite a bit I wish they'd both wiggle some more though, it's such a cool experience.