3 months postpartum and sex is still sooooo painful?

[heyyydayyy]

I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is normal...I only had a first degree tear and it healed fairly quickly. But any time my OH and I have tried to have sex I have to stop immediately because it hurts sooooo bad at the entrance of my vagina (tmi sorry) and around my perineum. I assumed sex would be painful for a little while, but I didn't imagine it would remain just as painful 3 months later. Anyone have any experience with this?

 

[LittleBoSheep]

everyone heals different... sometimes mine still hurts after 10 months pp!!! I only had a 1st degree tear as well, I was definitely not ready at my 6 week check up whenever they gave me the okay, my vagina was still opened up from the birth and it hurt too bad - so we put off for longer and when we finally tried again it hurt but wasnt as bad... you'll need to get used to it again so it will hurt a little.

 

[xsadiex]

Are you breastfeeding? It can alter the hormones and make sex a bit weird for a while (this is what i found).
It's a huge trauma down there though, it does take longer than most people think to heal. In fact I still don't feel the same and I didnt tear

 

[Noelle610]

I'm sorry to say it hurt for me until about 6 months. If you can get past that initial pain, it helps. Once DH is deeper inside of me it eases up. Use lots of lube!

 

[steph.]

Yes it was still quite painful for me at 3months pp and i only had a 1st degree tear too. Take things slowly and use lots of lube!

 

[Emerald87]

For me it's actually more painful inside and less outside - I've become tighter even after a second degree tear.

I was warned it may get tighter :-/

 

[vintagecat]

Yeah, still a tad painful for me too and I had an episiotomy performed. Take as much time as you need and ease into things slowly if you can. There's lots of other stuff you can do in the meantime to stay intimate!

 

[Nurse1980]

I had an episiotomy 4 months ago and sex is still painful.

My doc said to carry on and the pain will ease eventually!?

 

[Butterfly89]

I don't have my follow-up til 7 weeks so I'm staying far away from OH til then as siblings close together run in my family. But I'm already kind of nervous about how I'll ever be able to DTD again. Oddly, I still want to... I swear I'm backwards. Breastfeeding has made me crave more contact with OH, if anything.

But I had 2nd degree tear and some first degree ones that they stitched anyway and I feel like its a bit.. uhm, mangled at the entrance. I made the mistake of feeling it and almost passed out in the shower, lol. I just feel uncomfortable already like there is extra skin. Does that go away/heal?

I think it probably depends on what is hurting. I know scar tissue doesn't stretch very well, but I'm guessing maybe it softens with er, use.. My friend told me that the first time postpartum can be like the first time ever but to "Make it the first time you always wanted, with rose petals and romantic music" LOL.

 

[Dawnlouise30]

i had an episiotomy and am still sore 4 months pp in general and dtd huts too. LO was big so i don't know if that is why. I also can not get moist down there (sorry TMI).

 

[Numero_uno]

I'm 5 months pp and I'm the same, it feels too tight and we haven't dtd since because each time we try it hurts.

 

[robinson380]

I know this is an old post but I am 3 months pp and sex is very uncomfortable. Any one esclse? I had a small tear at the top but no tear of my perineum.

 

[childtocheris]

I think it depends on the healing .I had first degree tear and I was okay with the sex after one and a half month .Initially it was painful for two three times then it was okay. You need some time so that it can heal properly or you consult doctor once.

 

[Numero_uno]

It got to 9 months for me and I ended up going he doctors, they examined me and found nothing wrong, I think I was tensing up asi was expecting it to hurt. We can do it now but every now and then when I think about it it hurts but much better.

 

[ParisJeTadore]

I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is normal...I only had a first degree tear and it healed fairly quickly. But any time my OH and I have tried to have sex I have to stop immediately because it hurts sooooo bad at the entrance of my vagina (tmi sorry) and around my perineum. I assumed sex would be painful for a little while, but I didn't imagine it would remain just as painful 3 months later. Anyone have any experience with this?

YES! I had a first degree tear, healed beautifully and still had massive pain at the opening when trying to dtd with my husband. I actually thought the doctor sewed me up too tight but I was wrong. Here's what you do:

**Use LOTS of lub! Be very generous with it and use it on yourself and your partner.

**Go VERY slow when he's close to penetrating. Sex will not be glorious fun for several weeks but continue to do this and I promise it will eventually stretch the skin close to what it was pre-baby. We basically had very slow sex and had OH make his way all the way inside (sorry for the tmi!) and hold it for as long as comfortable.

**Be patient. I know it feels like your sex life is over but I'm happy to report that at 11 months pp everything is back to normal

Oh..and if we go a week without dtd I tend to get a little tighter so having regular sex is a wonderful thing for this!

 

[theroselegacy]

Glad I found this thread, because I was about to make a similar post. I am 7 weeks postpartum and had a tear, but near my urethra (which I know sounds strange, since most women experience perineal tears). I never went to my 6 week post partum check because I had something else scheduled that week and when I tried to get in the following week they told me my OB was going on vacation for like 3 weeks. Anyway, at 6 weeks I assumed it would be okay for sex because I knew my stitches were gone, and I had healed since there no longer pain or burning when I peed. I notice a lot of you ladies have said sex is painful, particularly at the entrance..for myself there is something inside of me that hurts and a few nights ago I started bleeding so now I am worried...anyone know why sex would be painful if the tear already healed?

 

[seoj]

Not sure if this helps anyone here- as my issue might be TOTALLY different than yours, but worth sharing (in case it might help someone else)....

Sex was UBBER painful for me for months after LO was born. I thought, oh, it will get better in time- and it did (mostly)- but it still hurt (sting/painful during). So months later I found out I had a Bacterial infection- got antibiotics, that helped, but didn't stop the pain- went back for another check-up, no issues they could find/detect. Went to a specialist- and found out the tissue (down below)- due to pregnancy/hormones etc... was dry/thin right at the opening and causing me pain. So I got estogen cream to use- and BIG improvement. Some women might need a compound treatment- but if your still experiencing pain months later, it can't hurt to get checked in that area. Some of my issue - too- was all that time in pain while DTD, I got tense- um, hello! Of course I did. It hurt. So it was hard for me to really relax... which is something I've worked on and things have great improved. I also now use a natural (no chemicals) lube that is great if you are at all sensative below (called 'Yes'- and we got the oil based since we don't use condoms).

Hope some of this helps anyone still suffering... it's tough. It took me 20mos to figure out my issue... I would hate anyone else to go through all that.

 

[preg_pilot]

6 months pp here.
Still painful to have sex.
I want another baby already, and that seems to be helping with getting wet down there.
Hormones are flying full swing these days, and sex is getting slightly better each time.