30 something and TTC #1 for a year

[aleja]

thanks Mk,
I am doing better today..its just those fleeting moments of hopelessness that we all feel i guess.

the Acu was fine but every time i have had a session it has been with a different practitioner..do you have the same person?
I don't know if it makes a difference but they each put the needles in different locations so who knows??
I haven't tried the cupping but I was thinking of going to some massages. My real life TTC buddy went to a series of massages to help her body prepare for conception...not sure if it helped but it couldn't hurt either way.

So far no AF but I am feeling a bit PMSish today.. hopefully this week...in hindsight I should have just taken the provera at the time that the FS told me (CD 22). Too late now. I was stubborn and now here I am waiting again

 

[MrsG2010]

Sorry Aleja. Waiting is the worst. Af showed here on Sunday. 17 day lp. I spoke briefly with nurse yesterday and let her know we were skipping this cycle. Time and money reasons. She said that was fine and that there is no advantage or disadvantage to doing them continuously.

For when i go back She said bc of my lining (7.4) they are halving my clomid to 25 mg. After we hung up i got to thinking I didn't like it. What do you guys think? At 50mg I got 3 follicles but no bfp. I don't want to be less aggressive. I want to ask if I can stay at 50 and do anything for the lining. ??

 

[brassy]

Hello ladies!

I have been stalking your thread for more than six months and I have decided now to reply. I hope it isn't too late to join you. In fact I am familiar with the story of each one of you...

I am 35 and have been trying for baby no.1 for about a year, this is cycle no.13 for us. I was stressed since the very beginning and this doesn't help at all. The disappointment of each unsuccessful cycle adds up and I think that I don't need to mention anything else about what I am feeling since all of you know it. It doesn't help that all of my friends are either mothers or pregnant and have no one in real life to talk about what I am going through. My friend with whom we started ttc together fell pregnant in the first cycle and now has a four-month old baby boy.

I have been to my ob/gyn a number of times during the past months. I had an hsg recently which was perfect. DH had an SA. It was normal, although some of his values have a lot of room for improvement. Three doctors said that his sperm is fertile. They found, though, a bacterial infection in his sperm for which he had a treatment. I have a polyp in my endometrial lining, but my doctor believes that this doesn't affect conception. I am worried about it and have decided if I don't have a bfp till September I will have it removed.

I apologize for the long post...

PS: MrsG..Doctors here (Greece) prescribe an additional pill when a lady is taking chlomid. It is called cyclacur. Half of the pills are light estrogens ( which help with the lining and thin the cervical mucus) and half of it are progesterone. This is usually given for ladies with irregular cycles, but if you only take the estrogen pills you can help your lining without any effects on your cycle. I actually took the estrogens for the first time this cycle to help thin my cm...

 

[MrsPTTC]

Yeah MK my MIL said the same thing. I got a supposed manicure and pedicure instead, but all she did was file and polish my nails, spent a matter of seconds filing my feet but that was it! No lotions or potions or anything, I feel really ripped off. My MIL thinks maybe they just can’t use anything on a pregnant woman in the first tri just in case.

Re your IUI, how come you’re not getting it on the NHS?!

Aw Aleja, sorry you got upset, but don’t be embarrassed about it, it’s not surprising after all you’re going through. Hope AF comes soon.

Sorry AF got you MrsG The clomid is a toughie – when I saw my FS in April I said I was relieved I was being scanned again to check my lining is ok. He said even if it wasn’t there was nothing I could do as I need the clomid! What figure should the lining be? I don’t know what mine was, but I know that even on the 8th month of clomid it was great which was a relief.

Welcome Brassy! Can’t believe you’ve been stalking for 6 months! Hope you get your BFP soon.

x

 

[GettingBroody]

MrsP - I know exactly how you feel but better safe than sorry I guess!

Mk8 - very exciting to hear your plan is drawn up! When do you start?

MrsG - so so sorry to hear af arrived hon I think taking a month off is a good idea - LTTTC is all-consuming and it's good to try and take a mental break if you can. I'm not sure about the clomid but acupuncture might help your lining?

Brassy - welcome! So sorry to hear you're having a hard time of it. When we were still undiagnosed I found it quite hard to talk to friends outside of here about what was going on. A few people knew we were ttc and we would talk about it every now and then but I never knew quite what to say - usually ended up reassuring them that I wasn't worried and that it would happen when the time was right Then as soon as we had a diagnosis and knew we would be starting on ICSI I wanted to talk about it all the time!!! I don't find it the slightest bit awkward now and I love having "real-life" (!) friends to talk to! Maybe it's just easier when there's an actual plan to discuss and you're not just passing platitudes back and forth... Anyway, hope your ttc journey ends with a bfp really soon!

Aleja - sorry you had a low day hon Very glad you're feeling better today. Sometimes it helps to just let it all out I was a bit like that on Sunday - started to stress that ICSI was too much like playing God and taking over from nature and that maybe we shouldn't be doing it at all! - not in a religious sense but I was worrying about the drs choosing what they thought were the strongest sperm instead of natural selection where the fastest/strongest/best sperm gets to the egg first... Seems to have been mostly PMS talking though cos I'm fine now, worries have shrunk down to normal size instead of freaking-out proportions!! I even knew it was mostly PMS at the time but knowing it logically doesn't seem to help emotionally!!

So, in other news, started on bcp yesterday! The ball is finally rolling! Was feeling too miserable, crampy and cranky to be excited yesterday but all that PMS stuff has eased off today so I have the energy to be happy about it!! I definitely won't miss the emotional craziness that hits me with af - I had none of that when I was on bcp, it'll be nice to have a month off! (before the injections and possibly totally craziness sets in!) And no ov pains to look forward to this month either! Yay! Although I'm sure when I'm on stimms they'll be seriously sore Ah well, it'll be worth it! The nurse is due to ring me today with my schedule for injections etc

 

[aleja]

Yay Broody its finally going to happen!!!!! and you are going on holidays soon aren't you? it will be nice to just relax and enjoy yourself before your ICSI/new part-time job starts!

Hi brassy thanks for stalking us for so long! I am glad you feel you can join us. We are really a nice bunch I think (and a bit neurotic at times too!)
I am like you, I don't feel that anyone in my real life can really understand the angst that happened to me over the last 12 months. It has been so tough at times but I feel so much better when I have a plan in place.
GL and I really hope you get your natural BFP by September

I have never heard of that pill with the estrogen/progesterone ..that sounds like a good solution to the Clomid problem

MrsG, that is an interesting point about lessening clomid due to lining...you would think they can give you something to supplement your hormones rather than changing the protocol. Other than that, a break between cycles is a good idea so you can get mentally ready again.

Mk, when do you expect to get your injections started?

MrsP it sounds like you are pampering yourself my dear! enjoy

 

[MrsG2010]

mk - When do you expect your iui cycle will start?

Hi Brassy, Glad to have you join us. I have the same problem. My 2 friends who I talk to about everything both have children already.

getting broody, glad you are moving forward! I'm excited for you!

mrsp sorry for the lame spa treatments haha. I need a spa day myself. Maybe I'll set that up.

My DH and I are in a wedding in middle of August. A family wedding out of town. DH had mentioned to his parents that we were going to the dr. and hopefully we'd have some good news to share when we got there. Of course, we don't. So that's a little tough to take. I'm sure most people may realize we are having trouble even if we haven't said anything. Unless a miracle happens in this cycle. Never know I guess.

Im going to call the nurse and ask her about the 25 mg Clomid vs 50 mg of Clomid and some estrogen. I wasn't given the option.

 

[cupcakesarah]

Thought i'd say hi, sounds like everyone's been busy.

 

[snowflakes120]

Sorry girls. I've been missing for a few days. I had the stomach flu over the weekend. Blech! And then I had my RE appt on Monday. Things went well. They are recommending IUI with Femara, estrogen bloods, mid-cycle ultrasound, and a trigger shot called Ovidrel. All in all, I am adjusting to the news. I am excited and nervous about it all at the same time.

Brassy - Welcome! I'm a newbie too. I just joined these ladies. I too feel ya about no one understanding. It is sooo hard. All of my cousins got PG within 3 months. Must be nice!

MrsG - I just did 4 cycles of Clomid. The RE is taking me off Clomid (and putting me on Femara) due to my lining being too thin (4.7mm!! Eeek!!) and due to my CM being less than desirable. She felt it was not the right drug for me personally. She said 15% of woman get a thinned lining from the Clomid and I just happen to fall into that category. Yours isn't really that bad at all. It is right on the cusp - I believe it's supposed to be 8mm. You can take estrogen to help in the beginning of your cycle. If you take Progesterone or do a HCG shot that would help your lining as well after OV. Last month, I didn't have my lining monitored so I don't know what it was but I drank 1 cup of 100% pure Pomegranate Juice CD1-OV because I read that is supposed to help as well. I'm gonna try it again this cycle. I had to mix it with OJ and some Soda Water so I could get it down. I don't like the taste of it.

MrsP - Jealous of your mani-pedi even if it wasn't what you were expecting. I think as soon as AF arrives - I'll be making a massage appt around OV time to calm me.

Broody - Hooray for feeling better today! I bet you are getting so excited!

Aleja - Has AF arrived yet?

I'm waiting on AF myself. Should be here Friday. Then I call to get some Estrogen bloods done and a schedule letting me know when I have to be at the RE and for what.

 

[mk8]

Hello ladies

Aleja - How are you feeling today? Hope you are feeling more positive about things. I am really confident that every one of us will get our BFPs. How we will get it, I don't know, but I know we will all get there. With regards to acupuncture, I have the same acupuncturist that works on me now. I think it is helpful having the same person as they understand your case and appreciate what has been done before so that it is more tailored. But who knows in reality right? I have a mixed treatment right now- mix of acupuncture (sometimes just front, sometimes back and front), cupping (on back sometimes) and massage (front and back - on the front it is a firm massage on my tummy). I have only had two sessions so far. The acupuncturist recommends that I got twice a week (because I dont want to take herbs). I go for 1hr-1.5hrs per session. She said I have yin deficiency and my organs are weak. So she wants to build up my strength. I am very tense and the masseuse (who isnt always the same) asked a lot about my work, stress levels etc. I asked if I should go in the TWW and they said yes. I pressed whether I should get massage during the TWW in case I am pregnant and the masseuse then said I can but the acupuncturist will look at my chart to see if there is a temp shift (ie proof of ovulation) and if so, she would tell the masseuse to not massage certain pressure points. Just in case, I do not want to go for massage in the final week of the TWW (ie post potential implantation). I want to delve a bit more into this with the acupuncurist though.

Has AF arrived Aleja?

MrsG - Sorry AF arrived. 17 day LP. WOW! Did you also take progesterone? What is your typical LP? Are you getting your IUI done on the NHS? Remind me, have you tried clomid on its own (ie without IUI)? If so, how many cycles? For me, I found I had much lighter periods on Clomid so suspect I may have had lining issues. Clomid was prescribed to me by my GP and the NHS FS said she was v shocked that he prescribed 6 months unmonitored. No more for me she said. My private FS also said no to clomid, but not sure if because he doesnt believe in it or cos I have taken 6 months worth already. All I know is that he suggested I take injectables and I am not sure why that is. I have heard that Femara is a great alternative to Clomid when there are thin lining issues. Perhaps you can discuss more with your doctor? Good luck with the next step and hope you manage to find a way to relax a bit.

Hi Brassy! Welcome! Hope you like it here. I know what you mean about about feeling stressed from the start. In hindsight, I wish I had chilled myself at the start. Especially now that I have found that there seems to be nothing wrong (though I have low AMH but the doc said I am def ovulating so that should not be an issue). Now I go to an acupuncturist, I have been told that I need a lot of nourishing in terms of my major organs- kidney, liver, spleen etc. Acupuncturist said that can cause hormonal imbalances. This does make sense as my periods have been light since TTC... maybe this was all stress related. So whilst I know it is very tough Brassy, try to find a way to relax. (And let us know when you work out how!) With regards to the polyp in your lining- where? submucosal? intramural? how many docs opinions have you had?
Welcome again.

MrsP- how are you doing honey with your pretty fingers and toes

Broody- yay to starting BCP! What is the treatment plan exactly hun? How are you feeling now? This is super exciting. COME ON BFP!

Cupcake - how are you doing? Whats your next plan of action?

Hey Snowflake!

Hello to the rest of you ladies checking in.

As for me, I am in acupuncture land. I had acupuncture (front and back of body), cupping and massage today - all in 1hr 30 mins. is it helping? Who knows! Worth a shot. I find my acupuncturist doesnt explain a whole deal to me. I ask and she answers etc but she isnt very forthcoming with info. Perhaps because I am Chinese too and she assumes i would just know (which of course i dont!) But her shop has been around for years and its super busy, plus she specialises in fertility so thought Id give it a shot. IUI doesnt start until my next cycle. I got AF over the weekend so i am taking this cycle to "get my body into a good shape". This includes acupuncture, eating well, sleeping well (which I am kinda failing at) and doing yoga (not that I have started- Ha!) and to generally stay chilled (so far doing OK). I am not sure if I will cont with the acupuncture during IUI. Given I am on meds I am not too sure if I want to mix the two schools of thought, especially as my acupuncturist is going quite gung ho with my treatment plan (ie twice a week with fertility massage). I might discuss with her later this cycle and see what she suggests that take it from there.

 

[GettingBroody]

MrsG - I know what you mean about having no good news to share with dh's parents. There are a few people who know our schedule for ivf - I kinda dread having to tell them the bad news if it doesn't work. Gotta keep positive though I suppose! Fx'd!

Snowflake - good luck with your new meds! Hope they do the trick for you!

Cupcake - How are you doing?!

Mk8 - wow, sounds like you've a lot going on at the acupuncturists!! Fx'd it'll give your system the boost it needs!

Aleja - any sign of the missing ?! Yeah, I'm going on hols from 4th -18th Aug so that should help this part of the process pass quickly. Staying on bcp til the day after I get back and then starting on my down-reg injections that evening. Continue those injections for about 10 days and then go for my down-reg scan on the 30th when they'll decide if I'm ready to start on stimming injections. All going well egg collection will be sometime around the 11th Sept... I'm only going back to work (teaching) on the 29th after the summer hols so the timing is less than ideal really cos it'll be very unsettling for the kids. Still, can't be helped! I've told my principal what's going on and he's very understanding so that's good.

 

[cupcakesarah]

I'm good thanks mk8 and Broody. On my summer break at the monent and getting ready to go to Portugal in a few weeks. Not having any reflexology until the end of August so realky taking a break. We have the FS ob tge 1st and not sure what i want to be our next plan if action. Do i want to wait till the end of rge year or get stuck into another round of IUI sooner rather than later. Or should we move onto IVF. Chances of it working are higher under 35 and i'm 33 later this year. I just don't know where i'm at. The whole TTC thing is driving ne crazy, i said to hubby i wanted us to stop trying if i wasn't pregnant by the end of the year, i'm not sure i meant it. I said i'd want to ho on the pill as otherwise we still would be trying and i'd still have hope. I know thats crazy as i've been off contraception for about 20 months so i know it's highly unlikely i'd get pregnant. I just want anormal life abd relationship that doesn't revolve around TTC. I want a baby more than anything but i feel like i'm lising my mind.

 

[brassy]

Hello again ladies! Thanks for welcoming me here...This thread feels really friendly indeed...

MK8: I have asked three doctors about my polyp which is in this endometrium, I am not familiar with the other terms I am afraid...One dr said that there is no way that a woman could conceive with a polyp (this is def not true I have seen it happening in real life and in this forum), the other (my dr for more than a decade) was not sure about it, and my current dr said that it doesn't affect conception. So I am a bit confused myself...

I am, too, in accupuncture land. I have been having weekly sessions for the last three months. During this past cycle I also took some herbs (horrid taste...). I was told that I have spleen and liver issues, too. I was told to massage my belly every night, to avoid all cold drinks and food and to never expose my belly in the cold...which at the moment is really difficult to do since we are constantly having mini-heatwaves here...I was really enthusiastic about accupuncture in the beggining, but I have started losing faith after all this time and all the money spent...

I am currently reading two books about fertility and I will share with you ladies anything interesting I find there...

 

[brassy]

The whole TTC thing is driving ne crazy, i said to hubby i wanted us to stop trying if i wasn't pregnant by the end of the year, i'm not sure i meant it. I said i'd want to ho on the pill as otherwise we still would be trying and i'd still have hope. I know thats crazy as i've been off contraception for about 20 months so i know it's highly unlikely i'd get pregnant. I just want anormal life abd relationship that doesn't revolve around TTC. I want a baby more than anything but i feel like i'm lising my mind.

I feel exactly the same some times. Usually when I get AF. I have told DH a number of times that I want to quit trying, but then when ov is approaching there is always new hope emerging from somewhere and we do try again...

 

[aleja]

ahhh gals.....

hey cupcake, good to hear from you. It sounds like you have some tough decisions to make. I totally hear you about wanting to have a normal sane life vs wanting to be a mummy. I am not sure how you will decide this, as well as working out which treatment plan is better. The stats certainly favour IVF over IUI when you are 33 but the reality is that IVF is no walk in the park. Its very hard emotionally and physically on your poor ovaries..but i guess emotionally it is not very different to doing the IUI as basically we put all our hopes and dreams into these treatments and when it doesn't work gosh its HARD!!!!

MK, you certainly are in Acupuncture-land! Perhaps all the body-mind therapy will help with natural TTC this month..you never know!!
I wish I had the same practitioner each session as I feel it is a disadvantage having to get used different styles every time I go.

Broody, its nice you are getting the break before you hit the big guns
its a shame you will be back at school during the stims but hey i guess it gives you less time to obsess!

Hello snowflakes, brassy, and other ladies...

Sarah, if you are out there, hello and hope you are well

And guess what ? NO AF YET

 

[mk8]

Hi broody, erm, what exactly is down reg?

Hi cupcake, I totally empathise with your feelings and hope you're not feeling too blue. My friend who tried for 5 yrs and eventually got her lovely baby girl on her second ivf cycle said to me: "never give up". I agree and want to pass that to you. You're 32 and lots of women have kids post 40. So 8 yrs of trying! But I'm sure you will be less than that. You're both unexplained right? How are your cycles and progesterone levels as well as sa nos? What kind of iui did you do? Clomid? Injectables? Have you discussed with the doc his thoughts on why it didn't work? My doc suggests iui 3 times in a row so perhaps consider more iui before ivf. Agree that at least a month off sounds good though hun. Are you still going out enjoying life, exercising etc?

Hi brassy. Ahhh you too are in acupuncture land. Weekly acup and daily massage- is that even during af and the tww? Have you notice any diff at all?

 

[GettingBroody]

Went for my first acupuncture yesterday! Found him very thorough. Also there was a big notice board in the waiting room covered with photos of babies which I liked! He said my main areas I need help with are spleen deficiency, blood deficiency and blood stasis. Wants me to go once a week. Not sure if he'll up that once ivf is closer. Gave me herb capsules to take (2 capsules, 3 times a day) but said its completely up to myself whether I want to continue taking them once I start on the ivf meds. He said there's nothing wrong with taking both but that most FS don't like you to because they don't know enough about them. Not sure what I'll do yet but will possibly stop once I start on injections...

Mk8, down reg-ing is where they suppress your ovaries for a cycle or so before stimulating them for ivf. It's like clearing everything out and giving your reproductive system a total rest before it has to work hard to produce all those extra follicles. The acupuncturist yesterday compared it to letting a field go fallow for a while before replanting it. In my head I always imagine pushing a beach ball under the water - the deeper down you push it the higher it'll bounce up when you let it go! Hope that makes a bit of sense!!

Cupcake, I totally get what you mean about wanting to quit. Not sure how many times I will be prepared to go through this whole ivf thing. Sometimes I just want my old non-ttc life back

Aleja, wow you must be getting very frustrated at this stage

Brassy - that is very confusing about the 3 doctors having totally different opinions on the polyp! Would removing it be a big operation?

 

[brassy]

Hello everyone!

Mk8- my accupuncturist always puts needles on my belly regardless where in my cycle I am. I will ask next time if it is ok to do after ovulation. The same regards the massage, which is very light though. I am reading right now the book "making babies" which has instructions for massage for the different parts of our cycle, and the most intense is that before ovulation. But even after ovulation it says that light massage is beneficial...

Broody - Removing the polyp would be done through hysteroscopy and D&C which would be under general anaesthesia. It is not a difficult procedure and hysteroscopy allows them to review the inside of the uterus and perhaps detect issues which might have not appeared in the hsg. It is expensive but I am mainly worried about scar tissue that could form after the D&C... However, I think that I will do it in September cause I think that the benefits are more important than any potential side effects...

Aleja I hope you get AF soon...How about a visit to your accupuncture center? The waiting must be really frustrating..

I hope everyone else is doing well...

 

[snowflakes120]

You guys are really making me want to do Accu. I looked up a place here that is board-certified and does fertility related issues. It's $150 for the 1st appt and then each appt after is $75. How are these prices? Are they low, high or pretty fair? They also do fertility massages for an hour for $75... Hmmmm. I have heard it will help with lining issues which I have... I just may try it. Why not I'm spending a ton of money anyways...

Just awaiting AF. She was supposed to be here today but she's a no show. Hopefully tomorrow. I don't understand why it takes her so long to come visit after stopping the Progesterone. It's really annoying!

 

[brassy]

Snowflakes, although I live in a different country I think that the prices compared to our prices look ok. Accupuncture is very relaxing and althought not that many studies have been published regarding its effects on fertility, I think that the few that have been done show that it works.

Mk8, you asked if I have seen an improvement and I forgot to reply. My gerd which was really bad and was caused by ttc stress is much-much better, which is very important for my sanity (it was horrible for a few months) and I see instant improvement in my sinusitis.

Regarding the fertility issues, I don't know. THE improvement for me would be to fall pregnant. However, my pms is getting better and my periods (sorry tmi) are having less spotting and clots, both of which in TCM are considered qi (chi) -energy issues...