I really don't think early to mid 30s is that old at all - your fertility rate only starts to decline a lot from 35 onwards (obviously from late teens to early 30s it does decline a bit) and only dramatically declines in your late 30s/early 40s. So for most of us in this group in our early to mid 30s, I definately do not see us as old. Obviously, the later you leave it, the harder it will be to sort out any issues but most women in their early to mid 30s get pregnant successfully and go on to have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. You get women in their early 20s having fertility issues as well as women in their 30s/40s etc.
However, I too was quite surprised when I joined this forum with how many late teens and early 20s were ttc. Most of my friends are only beginning to have kids now (a lot of my friends being older than me) or aren't thinking about it yet.
I think a lot of us who have had children in our late 20s/early 30s have done so because we have had to spend some time going through further education, which can take you into your early-mid 20s (I am not saying that those who are ttc in their early 20s haven't done those things - a lot have, before I get backlash for saying that!), then have started a career (not because we are power or money hungry - but simply to be able to settle down in our own home, get some money behind us and pay off our student loans, which can be like millstones around our necks). By the time this has happened, in a flash, we are hitting our late 20s and people are saying, 'oh those in their 30s are leaving it too late...blah blah blah.' I get annoyed with this as everyone is entitled to decide when they want to ttc - some people are not financially ready or have settled into a solid relationship in their early/mid-20s.
Having a baby in your 30s can be great for a lot of women (obviously not leaving it too late). You have had a bit of life experience, have maybe travelled, possibly own your own home and have some money saved to be able to have a decent maternity leave without worrying about going back to work immediately and are able to accept a back step in your social life without envying your mates going out every weekend. You can, in short, accept your life has moved into a different stage. One of my friends had a baby in her early 20s (when we were all that age) and ended up in a depression because she saw all her friends going out at the weekend and travelling all over the world. She couldn't accept her life had changed and that she had a baby depending on her. She is fine now and is able to give some good advice to her 'older mum friends,' but it was a difficult transition period for her.
I think it is important to highlight the positives of having a baby in your late 20s/30s as we hear so much of the negatives. I recently read another thread when people were going on and on about the negatives. Most of us know the negatives. We cannot escape the negatives as we are constantly being told them by others. However, telling a woman who is 35 and ttc about the negatives of waiting till her 30s, is frankly pointless - the woman is 35 already - so ramming information about declining fertility rates and so on down her throat is just going to stress her out more. I think we should all support each other whatever stage we are at.
Sorry for the rant! I didn't start it off as one...but it ended up as one!
Best of luck girls (whatever your age!) in your ttc journey when that time comes and wishing you speedy and sticky BFPs!
xxx
will be 37 by time i ttc #4..... veeeeerrryyyy old!!! lol!!
