35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[IsaacRalph]

Hello everyone! As the title says me and dh have been ttc for about 19mths to get pregnant with # 2 as yet not even a hint of a bfp. I have had 2 previous pregnancies with the same partner, one miscarriage and we have a gorgeous 2 1/2 yr old boy! All tests we have had are good had all of the usual tests including hycosy and semen analysis etc so far we fit into the unexplained category of infertility. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation to me as I really find it helps to talk things through, most of the other girls on another thread have their bfps and some after trying for along time too! Anyway me and dh are hopefully starting private treatment in October maybe starting with injectables and iui and if unsuccessful ivf in the new year! Really need some new buddies in similar boats please!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Hello IsaacRalph!

You are certainly not alone! I've just turned 34 and we have been TTC # 2 for 18 months (will be 2 years in Dec since we started, we just had a couple of months off last year). I got pregnant with my DS (who is a year older than your little boy) on month 5 of trying but the first couple of months I think we timed things wrong! I honestly thought we would get pregnant with # 2 straight away as I have lots of ovulation symptoms.....how wrong I was. Finally after a year and a bit of trying my DH had a SA done which showed major issues with his sperm (were told count was ok, motility a bit low but morphology disaster - 0%). Long story short DH is convinced the cause of his issues was due to a low-grade infection he has had for years in his gums so he had surgery and antibiotics and now finally it's been +90 days since he finished the antibiotics so I am keeping my fingers crossed this might be our month. Failing that within the next month he is going for his 2nd SA so we will know one way or another if there has been any change.....

If no change then our Dr is going to refer him to a urologist to check things out and I will have to go for a lap and dye to check for blockages. Thankfully my initial blood tests all came back good to show I am ovulating so that's one thing!

It's such a difficult thing to go through, esp cause all of our friends either have their 2nd (or 3rd child) or are pregnant and every week I seem to hear of someone else who is pregnant. That plus being constantly asked "is it just the one you have?" or "are you having any more?"!

So yes I understand how you feel and am totally here to talk any time! You are not alone

 

[IsaacRalph]

Hey whiteorchid think I replied to another of your threads? Wow it does sound like we're in similar situations. Really hope your dh's sperm analysis improves it was obviously good enough to concieve your ds! My dh has had a few problems with his water works so may possibly have damaged his sperm counts but it was good/ excellent last year. He had a urine infection about 2 months ago treated with antibiotics it cleared up then 4 weeks ago he started peeing blood. He has got some further tests on Friday a Cystoscopy which he is defo not looking forward to. Having a camera through his willy doesn't appeal to him at all! Only trouble is it falls during our fertile week so hoping to be able to make love. I've only just turned 35 but cuz of all these troubles I feel quite old in terms of fertility. My ds turns 3 in December and we started trying around the same time as you! Are you doing anything else I chart and use opk's?

 

[IsaacRalph]

Ps both of my best friends have just had baby # 2 and we carried# 1 together! One had a boy and has a 2 yr old girl and one had a girl and has a 2yr old boy so everything appears very hunky dory for everyone else! They just fell pregnant very easily also. With ds we also took 5 cycles! Thanks for replying abd hopefully we can keep each other company on this difficult journey xx

 

[MsJasmine]

you are not alone sweet. I get what you are saying,I have one chiild and have been trying for the last 4ish years. This will be the last try naturally for me as I refused that there could be a problem. Now, I am tired and will go for testing is there is not luck this time. Wishing you all lots and lots of luck

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Wow - we are so similar!! I have to say it's really lovely to meet someone in the same situation although I wish neither of us were! Your poor partner - that isn't fun at all....hopefully he can get through the tests and they can work out what's going on and if that's part of the problem.

I do chart - I stopped for a few months as knew there was no point but have started again this month. Used OPK's a couple of times but since I'm pretty sure when I ovulate and the fact that we BD every 2 days from day 10 - 20 (and every day around the time I think I am) I don't bother with them anymore. I'm from the UK originally but live in Canada now and they are SO expensive so I just don't bother!

Where are you in this month's cycle? In some ways if you can't do it this month at the right time (due to the tests) maybe try and see it as a nice break - that's what I did when we first got hubby's SA results - I stopped charting and worrying about what day of my cycle it was and we did it when we wanted to and not cause we needed to...I know easier said than done but I guess always looking for the positive!

I look forward to staying in touch - like I said it's hard to find ppl on the same wavelength/journey so happy to talk and share and be a shoulder to lean on!

Hello MsJasmine! Sorry to hear you are in the same boat....we're here to talk, whatever happens. Fingers crossed you get your BFP this month and you don't have to go through testing

 

[IsaacRalph]

Hi ms jasmine that's tough going 4 years how frustrating for you! Have you been trying full on since then? Do you use opk's and do you chart? Hoping so much that you get your bfp this month! Stay in touch

Orchid- spooky hey cuz I had stopped charting too since last Xmas but this month decided to pull out all of the stops in a last ditch attempt to get our bfp! Currently on cd 10 and normally ovulate around cd 15 and I do use opk's but I have give away signs of ov too! Thinking we can bd before his test perhaps and then rest for a day or so? I live in uk in torquay in Devon, I bet Canada is lush!

 

[IsaacRalph]

What part of cycle are you at whiteorchid you in your tww?

 

[MsJasmine]

Hi ms jasmine that's tough going 4 years how frustrating for you! Have you been trying full on since then? Do you use opk's and do you chart? Hoping so much that you get your bfp this month! Stay in touch

Orchid- spooky hey cuz I had stopped charting too since last Xmas but this month decided to pull out all of the stops in a last ditch attempt to get our bfp! Currently on cd 10 and normally ovulate around cd 15 and I do use opk's but I have give away signs of ov too! Thinking we can bd before his test perhaps and then rest for a day or so? I live in uk in torquay in Devon, I bet Canada is lush!

Thanks IsaacRalph! Well lets put it this way, my son is 5 and I have not used BC in all these years. I really did think it would be easy and would fall straight away. I was very very naive. I remember one yr I kept having what I though was af every 2 weeks, looking back they were possibly chemical pregnancies... Last year I was so excited to get a bfp but lost it at 6 weeks. I don't chart (I have noo idea on where to start with it, but have become so much more in tune with my body. Last 2ww, I used a blue dye hpt and had a thin blue line, so excitedly rushed to ASDA by a handful of £1 tests. They were all faint + at 10dpo and i was ever so excited. Unfortunately af came a day early, so I have promised myself not to test until day af is due. I usually check cm and go by fertile window. If there is no luck we will get tested. DH is as frustrated as me. Feeling hopeful this month as we have been BD every day this fertile period. Fingers crossed

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

What part of cycle are you at whiteorchid you in your tww?

I'm on cycle day 18 and I'm pretty sure I ovulated on Friday so 3dpo....now have the horrible 2ww to contend with. I want to try and forget about it and just get on with things but always easier said than done!! That being said, for me I normally know a week before AF is due as I always get sore boobs starting then. Still keeping my fingers crossed for this month and staying positive that it WILL be my month this month!

Oh I hope you manage to BD again before hubby's appt! Then you can just relax a bit and know you did what you could (although again easier said than done!)

 

[IsaacRalph]

Sorry to hear about your hopes being dashed last month ms jasmine I too have vowed not to test early due to same reason! Few months ago I tested at about 10dpo and got a faint pink line but it was way past the alloted time frame it was like a few hours. I still got my hopes up as I'd never had one of these abd next day it happened again also! I was using the tests we use at work (I'm a nurse in an ed) have since used the same tests and experimented and never seem even a hint of a line again. So maybe it was a chemical I remember being slightly heavier that month? Who knows? Anyway yeah you would've thought it would've happened in 5 yrs no matter what methods your using. I really hope it happens soon for you! Gow old are you?

 

[IsaacRalph]

White orchid I can also tell if af is coming cuz I get awful pms including sore boobs a week before it totally sucks! With ds I knew something was up at around 5 dpo and had tons of creamy cm and dizziness! Good luck to you both hoping those swimmers are Olympic standards now! Only a week or so difference between us then. Should be able to fit in some sneaky bding before Friday I don't feel any ov symptoms yet! Have you got any back up plans if needs be? Hopefully not xx

 

[CaliDreaming]

I am in the same boat, except I am a little older. I will be turning 39 in a couple of weeks. If it weren't for TTC I wouldn't mind getting close to 40 one bit, but since I'm TTC each month I just feel like I'm running out of time.

I have been through everything to improve myself fertility wise. I've had a lap that showed that I didn't have any endo or adhesions, and I had a small polyp removed during a hysteroscopy. My doc couldn't get the dye to flow through my right tube, but it looked perfectly normal and healthy so there is a good chance it is not blocked.

We will have been trying for almost 2 years come November and none of the things I have done to improve myself have worked, so now we're just starting to focus on hubby. His SA was borderline, but I had always dismissed him as "the problem" because we were able to conceive dd and he has three children from his previous marriage. His morphology was 0.5%, which my RE did not think was a problem, but his motility was only 30% when ideally it should be about 50% and no lower than 40%. The actual volume of his semen was great, but the concentration was at 20 ml, which is at the low end. My RE expected that he should have gotten me pregnant after a few months even with his borderline results, but now I'm questioning that. We had visited another RE for a second opinion who felt that hubby's sperm was dreadful and that it would take years and years for us to conceive.

The frustrating thing is that nothing has changed with me since I had dd and my delivery was very uncomplicated. I still can't believe we've had so much trouble. I'm hoping that since his results are more borderline that changing his diet and taking supplements will improve his sperm enough to get me pregnant. His diet is just atrocious so if anyone can be helped by supplements and dietary changes it's him.

I have done everything possible to improve my fertility, and no one has found a reason why I can't get pregnant so it has to linked to hubby. I feel so desperate just typing this...

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

White orchid I can also tell if af is coming cuz I get awful pms including sore boobs a week before it totally sucks! With ds I knew something was up at around 5 dpo and had tons of creamy cm and dizziness! Good luck to you both hoping those swimmers are Olympic standards now! Only a week or so difference between us then. Should be able to fit in some sneaky bding before Friday I don't feel any ov symptoms yet! Have you got any back up plans if needs be? Hopefully not xx

When I was pregnant with my son (although I had no idea at the time) I was insanely emotional 8 dpo. I was at work and had to deal with a difficult client on the phone and after I got off the phone I burst out crying and just could not stop (highly unusual for me!) I figured it was because I hated my job so much and was just done with it all so I went home, wrote my letter of resignation and handed it in the next day! Needless to say several days later after a few days of spotting but nothing more I realised something seemed odd and so I tested and low and behold I was pregnant! (Wasn't expecting it because of course that was the month we weren't trying!!) How I wish that could happen now!

We still need to fully discuss our back up plan....Dr said after I last saw him that if DH's SA shows no improvement then he will go to a urologist and I'll start going for further tests but I have no idea how far we want to go. Unfortunately I just don't think we could afford fertility treatment but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. How about you?

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

CaliDreaming - I know we have talked a bit on other forums but I'm with you all the way. The MFI is so hard as I feel like Dr's themselves don't even know what is good or not. My DH's first SA showed 44% motility but 0% morphology which my Dr said was the major issue. He said the count was good but never told us what it actually was. He remained positive that you can change sperm a lot by simple lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, cutting out alcohol etc) so who knows. Once DH has his 2nd SA done I'll let you know if there has been any changes in the last 3 months. I just wish it didn't take so long for the changes to happen....I feel like time has just gone and we've done nothing! We're on cycle 18 of TTC but it will be 2 years in Dec.... the whole thing is just exhausting at times and beyond frustrating but I try to stay as positive as possible that one of these months 1 little guy will be perfect and get to that egg and all will be good!

 

[IsaacRalph]

Calidreaming- hi and welcome completely with you on the age thing am feeling older than I really am because I feel so infertile but everyday I'm reminded that my school friends are easily getting pregnant and having babies all the time! I have felt so very desperate at times but the longer it's taking the more I'm able to take a different approach to it and it's not a stressful! Defo gonna ask to get dh's sperm tested after his urology app on Friday! Wow we have all been trying about the same too.

Orchid- our back up plan is in motion actually we have already been seen and probably gonna start treatment in October just a few months. We will probably have a few inseminations and failing that ivf. I will go to those extremes to try for a baby brother or sister for my son and if it doesn't work then at least I can say we tried our best! Luckily our friends are lending us £ 2000 which covers the cost of 2 inseminations then we have to save and ask parents if ivf needed which is £4000. When is your dh sperm analysis?

 

[IsaacRalph]

Calidreaming- how long did it take to concieve dd?

 

[CaliDreaming]

When I was pregnant with my son (although I had no idea at the time) I was insanely emotional 8 dpo. I was at work and had to deal with a difficult client on the phone and after I got off the phone I burst out crying and just could not stop (highly unusual for me!) I figured it was because I hated my job so much and was just done with it all so I went home, wrote my letter of resignation and handed it in the next day! Needless to say several days later after a few days of spotting but nothing more I realised something seemed odd and so I tested and low and behold I was pregnant! (Wasn't expecting it because of course that was the month we weren't trying!!) How I wish that could happen now!

We still need to fully discuss our back up plan....Dr said after I last saw him that if DH's SA shows no improvement then he will go to a urologist and I'll start going for further tests but I have no idea how far we want to go. Unfortunately I just don't think we could afford fertility treatment but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. How about you?

CaliDreaming - I know we have talked a bit on other forums but I'm with you all the way. The MFI is so hard as I feel like Dr's themselves don't even know what is good or not. My DH's first SA showed 44% motility but 0% morphology which my Dr said was the major issue. He said the count was good but never told us what it actually was. He remained positive that you can change sperm a lot by simple lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, cutting out alcohol etc) so who knows. Once DH has his 2nd SA done I'll let you know if there has been any changes in the last 3 months. I just wish it didn't take so long for the changes to happen....I feel like time has just gone and we've done nothing! We're on cycle 18 of TTC but it will be 2 years in Dec.... the whole thing is just exhausting at times and beyond frustrating but I try to stay as positive as possible that one of these months 1 little guy will be perfect and get to that egg and all will be good!

Hi Whiteorchid, I remember you from the other threads. It really is exhausting and frustrating dealing with doctors on this issue. You would think going to the doctor would give you more answers but after visiting 2 REs I feel just as confused as I did when I started 2 years ago. It just blows my mind when 2 doctors have completely different opinions about the same results.

I'll be really interested to see what your hubby's results are from his second SA. I was so happy to read that your doc felt that sperm can be greatly improved with lifestyle changes. I had read that some doctors on the internet don't feel like it can be changed much with diet, but I wonder if those doctors are focusing on men with congential defects or those who have had a vasectomy reversal. So many men have improved their sperm with diet and supplements and it just makes sense.

It's just sooooo hard to wait that 3 months to see if things have improved. And then I think, what if his sperm improves and I still don't get pregnant?

When does your hubby go back for the second test?

Calidreaming- hi and welcome completely with you on the age thing am feeling older than I really am because I feel so infertile but everyday I'm reminded that my school friends are easily getting pregnant and having babies all the time! I have felt so very desperate at times but the longer it's taking the more I'm able to take a different approach to it and it's not a stressful! Defo gonna ask to get dh's sperm tested after his urology app on Friday! Wow we have all been trying about the same too.

Orchid- our back up plan is in motion actually we have already been seen and probably gonna start treatment in October just a few months. We will probably have a few inseminations and failing that ivf. I will go to those extremes to try for a baby brother or sister for my son and if it doesn't work then at least I can say we tried our best! Luckily our friends are lending us £ 2000 which covers the cost of 2 inseminations then we have to save and ask parents if ivf needed which is £4000. When is your dh sperm analysis?

Calidreaming- how long did it take to concieve dd?

Hi IsaacRalph. It took me 8 months to conceive with dd. I'm thinking maybe hubby's sperm was borderline back then too and we just got lucky.

4000 is a lot but defintiely doable and I know you'd have a really good chance of getting a bfp. In the U.S. health care costs are just insane. I have spent $4000 just in covering the costs of my surgeries, ultrasounds, etc and I actually have insurance!

 

[MsJasmine]

Sorry to hear about your hopes being dashed last month ms jasmine I too have vowed not to test early due to same reason! Few months ago I tested at about 10dpo and got a faint pink line but it was way past the alloted time frame it was like a few hours. I still got my hopes up as I'd never had one of these abd next day it happened again also! I was using the tests we use at work (I'm a nurse in an ed) have since used the same tests and experimented and never seem even a hint of a line again. So maybe it was a chemical I remember being slightly heavier that month? Who knows? Anyway yeah you would've thought it would've happened in 5 yrs no matter what methods your using. I really hope it happens soon for you! Gow old are you?

Thank you. I hope so too for all of us, I am 35 hun, I know that I stress a lot about it which doesn't help. fingers crossed. Next month, I will start the testing process as i feel like time is running out. I do believe everything happens for a reason, so who knows x

 

[IsaacRalph]

Aww girls I'd like it very much if we could keep this thread going and have each other for support!