35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[IsaacRalph]

Calidreaming the prices for fertility treatment are insane here in the UK if you haven't got a child already you can have up to 4 iui and between 1-3 ivf's and all testing free depending where you live all on the nhs! Ww have to pay for private treatment as thankgod already have a gorgeous son! Hoping to save up the cash for October but I pray that it happens before that then we can have a nice family holiday with the cash to chill out! Ha what a dream!
Defo think you should go for testing ms jasmine they will probably start with blood tests! Are your cycles regular and do you have ov symptoms?
Whiteorchid we never thought we'd go to extremes of paying for help but we decided few months ago if we can find money for new cars and hols etc we can find it also for fertility treatment! We may need to ask our parents for help but hopefully we'll raise the cash. Let's hope neither of us get that far down the line!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I know, it's so hard and I wish it wasn't so expensive! I totally agree with you wanting to try everything so one day if the question arises you can tell your DS that you literally tried everything you could to try and have a brother or sister for him - I feel the exact same way. I think it's my DH that perhaps doesn't....I know he is so delighted with our son (as am I obviously) and one of his best friends has only 1 child and so I think at times he feels that although he would like another one, if it doesn't happen he is very happy/content with our family of 3. While I feel the same way I would go further to try and have one more. I got so mad the other day because he is desperate to buy a boat and is wanting to put money aside for that for next summer. I made a comment how it's not my priority and in my opinion we might need it for fertility treatment to which he responded "I'm not spending $10k on fertility treatment"!!! I was so frustrated but hoping that it was just an initial response and if need be and we can't get pregnant naturally he'll think about it more rather than just responding like that! Anyway we're still hopeful it will happen naturally so for his sake (and his boat fund!) I hope we don't need fertility treatment!!!

Would love to keep this thread going! I find it so hard to find ppl to talk to who understand and keep in touch....most threads seem to last a couple of days then run their course.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Whiteorchid, my hubby feels the same as yours. He has made it pretty clear that he is very happy with our family of three and would rather not have anymore. But he sees how unhappy I have been these past few months so he cooperates in all the treatments. I wish I could make myself not want another child, because dh and dd seem so happy as we are.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Whiteorchid, my hubby feels the same as yours. He has made it pretty clear that he is very happy with our family of three and would rather not have anymore. But he sees how unhappy I have been these past few months so he cooperates in all the treatments. I wish I could make myself not want another child, because dh and dd seem so happy as we are.

Yeah it's so tough. My DH does really want another child, I just think he feels if it doesn't happen naturally he's not that into going down the fertility route since we are so lucky with what we already have and can't really afford it. I get so torn at times between feeling the same as him - everything is great, DS is fantastic, I get to sleep etc(!!) and our little family is perfect - to aching because I so badly just want 1 more baby to add to our family and I'm not ready to give up on that dream yet. I never for a moment dreamt I would only have 1 child so when I had my DS I always thought I would have another and I think with my 2nd I'd appreciate things so much more knowing I won't be having any other babies.... so tough. I feel your pain.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Oh, so your hubby's stance is a little different than mine. Since he really does want a child, it will probably be easier to convince him to spend a little. Since he was able to get you pregnant the first time around chances are really good those supplements will work.

I never envisioned myself having just one either and you described perfectly why it is so hard. I also get sad when I think about how happy I was when I was pregnant and buying all the stuff for dd, the utrasounds, etc. Sometimes I get sad because I don't know if I'll ever in my life be as happy as I was then. I wonder if it's easier to accept if you start TTC #2 knowing that your odds of success are slim.

I had envisioned myself having three, but I think I could feel complete with two.

 

[35andttc2]

I'm 35 been trying for just a little over a year. My partner has a very low sperm count so the odds of us having a baby naturally are low. Every month I get my hopes high & then they are dashed. Every month has different symptoms.... This month I have had horrid cramps the last few days. AF is due Fri-Sunday. It usually hits hours before. Last Oct I had sore boobs as a PMS symptom for the first time. Over a year ago I had metallic taste in my mouth. Still not prego. Every month cycle is different. It drives me crazy.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Oh, so your hubby's stance is a little different than mine. Since he really does want a child, it will probably be easier to convince him to spend a little. Since he was able to get you pregnant the first time around chances are really good those supplements will work.

I never envisioned myself having just one either and you described perfectly why it is so hard. I also get sad when I think about how happy I was when I was pregnant and buying all the stuff for dd, the utrasounds, etc. Sometimes I get sad because I don't know if I'll ever in my life be as happy as I was then. I wonder if it's easier to accept if you start TTC #2 knowing that your odds of success are slim.

I had envisioned myself having three, but I think I could feel complete with two.

I hope so although I feel so hopeless and so frustrated that 4 years ago we got pregnant and now nothing. Of course I have no idea if conceiving DS was a complete fluke or whether his sperm situation has just deteriorated over the last 4 years.

I too always wanted to have 3 but I was the opposite of you and had a bad pregnancy followed by a bad labour so I decided 2 would be good rather than 3, ANYWAY despite all of that I am still willing to go through it all again and just wish it could happen.

I'm also feeling super emotional just now as my sister is in the early stages of labour (waters broken but nothing else) with her first and I am so excited for her but hating being so far away - its torture

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I'm 35 been trying for just a little over a year. My partner has a very low sperm count so the odds of us having a baby naturally are low. Every month I get my hopes high & then they are dashed. Every month has different symptoms.... This month I have had horrid cramps the last few days. AF is due Fri-Sunday. It usually hits hours before. Last Oct I had sore boobs as a PMS symptom for the first time. Over a year ago I had metallic taste in my mouth. Still not prego. Every month cycle is different. It drives me crazy.

Hello 35andttc2! :wave:
Isn't it so unfair how our body does that to trick us into thinking we might have a chance only to have that tiny bit of optimism slapped back in our face with the arrival of AF! Even though most months I know before the arrival of AF that I'm out I can't help but just wonder "maybe" but AF always rears her ugly head. A few months ago I was even 3 days late and hadn't really had the sore boobs I always get so for the first time in a while I actually bought some tests and POAS but of course it was negative. So depressing. Thankfully we are all in the situation so we can try and help each other through. I'm currently 5dpo for this month which is the first month that we've passed the 90 day mark since trying to make changes to hubby's sperm...guess only time will tell.

 

[IsaacRalph]

Welcome 35andttc2 I totallty understand how you feel it really is soul destroying in the early days I was so convinced I was pregnant with sore boobs and nausea as symptoms and bam bfn after bfn! Had some nasty evap lines convincing me I was in with a chance too! Hopefully you'll get your bfp within the next year they say 90% of couples should fall preggers within this time frame!

Yeah when pregnant with ds I never once held my bump thinking it would've been the last time! I though we'd have at least 2 possibly 3. Now I'd be happy for just one more child either sex! Dh feels exactly the same as me and willing to try everything possible but we will be sensible if it doesn't work then we'll probably have to throw in the towel!

 

[CaliDreaming]

I really hate it when AF plays games. This last cycle, my AF was 3 days late. I had tested early on so I knew I wasn't pregnant, but the longer it drug on I couldn't help but get hopeful. It was a monitored cycle with Clomid and a trigger, so I knew exactly when I ovulated, which made it even harder not to get hopeful. But then right before I took the test I noticed spotting so that took the sting of the bfn away a bit.

Now that we're focused on improving hubby's sperm I'm finding I'm much more relaxed about TTC. I know that it can take several months to improve so I know not to expect anything.

 

[eyemom]

Hi! I am about to head to bed and I admittedly haven't read very far yet. I'm not quite where you are yet (OP), but sounds kinda similar. I wanted to go ahead and post so I can keep up with this thread and remember to post more later.

 

[IsaacRalph]

Welcome eyemom hurry back and post your story! This thread is already a very supportive with some lovely ladies who are having a rough time ttc. X

 

[eyemom]

Hello again ladies! Here's the quick synopsis for us!

Me: 31, DH: 33
I have a 2.5 year old daughter, she's awesome. Conceived with same partner. Got pregnant on 8th cycle of trying. I started charting and using pre-seed maybe halfway through that process.

After my 6 wk pp visit, OB at the time recommended waiting a year to get pregnant again, so we did. I wanted a little space between kiddos anyway. Actually waited a little over a year because our insurance changed and I didn't want to be caught in the middle.

Got pregnant again on second cycle of trying. Had not started charting yet, just dtd when I felt I was probably ovulating, still used pre-seed. We were over the moon! The due date for that baby was exactly two years+1 day after dd's birthday. It seemed so perfect.

Miscarried at about 6 weeks, devastated. But we were ready to start trying again right away. We tried for a year before looking into getting help. Insurance was also changing again, so I was going to have to change doctors, which didn't please me at all. I loved my old doctors. I never imagined I'd have this much trouble conceiving again. We're on our 15th cycle (since the miscarriage) of trying now, though I haven't ov'd yet this cycle.

So I just had my first appt with my new obgyn early this month. He tested my TSH and prolactin levels, both normal. Waited for the new cycle to start b/c we didn't want to deal with the SA on the off chance I got pregnant that cycle. But of course I didn't. He had that done yesterday, and basically he has rock star sperm. Especially the motility and count, really good.

So in a bit I'm going to call the Dr office and see about scheduling the HSG (if I can afford it). And the doctor didn't mention this, but I'm going to see about having my luteal phase progesterone levels checked later on this cycle too. Sometimes I can really feel the progesterone symptoms, but other times I really wonder if low progesterone could be an issue, and not just because I don't feel the symptoms.

It is so frustrating, feeling left behind. We wanted our kids two years apart, absolutely no more than 3 years apart. And now we're looking at 3.5 years under the best of circumstances. Seems everyone my daughter's age (or younger!) is a big brother or sister now. I'm happy that those people are blessed in that way, and I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone, but I can't help but feel a little envious sometimes.

FX for everyone here.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Lovely to 'meet' you eyemom, just too bad it's on a board like this! That being said all the ladies here are in the same situation and have all been really lovely and supportive to talk to. I'm sorry about your mc and your TTC troubles - it really is the most frustrating, impossibly difficult time.

I'm probably not the best person to talk to about tests etc as all I've had done is my day 21 blood works and hubby had a SA which seems to be our issue. That being said if his 2nd SA comes back with no improvement I think I have to go for a lap and dye and he will be referred to a urologist. Really hoping that doesn't have to happen. That being said I can't give much advice about tests but I am here to talk about everything else and be a shoulder to lean on!!

In this cycle I am 8dpo but I started to get sore breasts yesterday so thinking once again I am probably out for this cycle. So fed up - I really thought it might happen this month

I hope you are all having a good weekend x

 

[IsaacRalph]

Hi girls! Am a very happy lady cuz yesterday my dh had the all clear with his bladder issues, urologist thinks he could've passed a bladder stone but no evidence to be found. He also agreed to test his sperm again before we start treatment in October. His sperm has always been good so it's just to check since hewwas poorly really! Also going on hols for a week on Monday and the weather is looking good so excited!
Eye mom- me and dh have had all the tests done so if you need any advice let me know! Its always good to start with cycle day 3 bloods and day 21 progesterone! Congratulations on your hubbys sperm
analysis.
Hey whiteorchid sorry your feeling out again this month let's just see what happens but I can normally tell too! How come you need to have a lap and dye test? My tubal test was with an ultrasound with no operation!

 

[eyemom]

Thank you ladies. My obgyns office is closed until Tuesday because of the holiday (USA). I should hear back Tuesday though. Should still be able to do progesterone test this cycle but it'll be too late for the HSG. It's okay though. I'm just ready to get this show on the road now.

WhiteOrchid not to give you false hope, but I thought that was a progesterone symptom which could go either way. I know what you mean though, I generally kind of know it in my heart when I'm not pregnant. Seems like I can never give up that tiny thread of hope though even though sometimes it hurts more to keep on hoping.

hope you all have a great weekend too. Thanks for being so welcoming and supportive.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

IsaacRalph - maybe I misheard my Dr. All he really said is I would be sent for a procedure where the put dye through my tubes and watched it to make sure there were no blockages so I could be completely wrong - here's hoping as would much rather have what you did!! Im so glad you are feeling so good and that's great news about DH!! Woo-hoo!!

Eyemom - Thanks, I know you are totally right, it's just every month I get them and then of course AF follows a week later Also when I was pregnant with my son I had no symptoms at all (inc. sore breasts) so I always suspect it's the first sign I'm out. Although I'm like you and try and stay positive and always have a slight bit of hope I could be wrong. Only problem with that is I ended up being even more disappointed! I guess you just can't win!!! Have a great weekend ladies x

 

[eyemom]

Pretty sure that dye test is the same thing as the HSG I'm in for soon, so maybe we're on the same track in our journeys.

Edit: updating with a link (video embedded in this link which shows the HSG). I'm betting this is what your Dr was talking about. https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hsg-test/MM00808

Edit: thought I should point out here since Isaac brought it to my attention that it's an ultrasound instead of an x-ray.

 

[IsaacRalph]

Yeah eyemom that's it! I had the same thing but with an ultrasound so misses out on all tge radiation from the xrays. I wonder if you can have it with an ultrasound too it works just the same!

 

[eyemom]

Yes actually mine will be the ultrasound too. Sorry I didn't think to mention that. I was just thinking about the way the dye works.