35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[WhiteOrchid24]

Yay! I'm glad I'm not the only one that writes massive replies! Love reading them so thanks Eyemom!

Just touching on the part about the fact we are LTTTC #2, ppl just don't understand. When we first started telling our families even my parents were like "well you have a fantastic little boy" so be thankful for that! I was like "What?!" I am VERY aware that I have a fantastic little boy and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have him but that doesn't make the pain of not being able to have another baby any less. That being said my brother and SIL have been trying for years to have a baby with 2 failed IVFs. They are in the unexplained category and every day I also wish if anyone could get pregnant it would be them. So I have the total guilt issue of the fact that yes I do already have a child and I know they would give anything for just 1 but I also wish ppl were more understanding that it doesn't make it any easier for me. Maybe in time it will be easier but as you said there are so many more complicated issues when it comes down to #2 - especially the whole sibling issue. My DS is so into babies since my Sis had hers and it breaks my heart. Thankfully though he hasn't ever asked why he doesn't have a brother or sister! Phew! And as for the age thing - I have given up! I wanted a 3 year gap so when we started trying if I had got pregnant that month it would have been 3 months under the 3 year gap. Now if I was to get pregnant this month (FX!!!) it would be a 4 1/2 year gap What do you do though! I'll take the gap over no 2nd child!!

AFM - Day 27 today....From my temperature rise I'm expecting AF by Saturday at the latest. I usually get spotting 1 or 2 days before so technically could start anytime. That being said based on the fact that my cycles were always 29 days before, my actual due date for AF isn't until Sunday. If AF hasn't arrived by then I will try and hold off testing til Monday....but we'll see. Knowing my luck this positive vibe I have is all wrong and I am going to be extra disappointed but I am enjoying feeling so positive this cycle so I'm going to go with it for now!

Happy Halloween everyone! Have a good day

 

[tommyg]

That's it exactly people generally don't understand. Or if they do they seem to want only to think on the bright side of life - and sometimes that's no bad thing.
My parents have a bit of a clue, they tried for over a year for me. That said they haven't really asked they know I'm attending the fertility unit I asked them to watch DS for me and Dad asked "where are you going?". I they know I will tell them when I'm ready. But that's me somebody who despite the "tell us when you are in labour crys" decided to wait and tell them DS was born 4 hours ago LOL! My sis also attended the fertility unit for her first and was on the waiting list when she got pregnant with her 2nd. My Sis admitted they got fed up of people asking when she was on clomid that they failed to tell anybody the dates of when they'd be trying IUI.
I've hear via the grapevine that DH's brother and wife are LTTTC but they have never mentioned it to me so not something I'd want to discuss with them. And his Sis has just started TTC. I'd love at least on of them to have a kid.
Most of my friends know where we are at and a couple know about my last Chemical I'll probably mention this one at some point. TBH DH thinks its more the tests is wrong and I can't be assed to purswade him of anything different. It's not going to make any diffrence other than make him feel bad.
Thats it exactly you can't get hung up over the age gap. I was the same if we'd got pregnant in the first month of trying it would have been a 20 mth gap, if my first chemical had made it the gap would have been 2.4 yrs and if this one had made it the gap would have been 3.5 yrs.

All I can say is not having a baby at the moment gives me more time to spend with DS but at the same time I keep thinking how much better it would be for him to have a sibling. But some days it's the stupid things that get to you currently considering a Leappad for DS what's the advantages of the Ultra over the Leappad 2 - oh the Ultra can be linked to anothe ultra and played against each other - Fantastic if only DS had a sibling to play with!

Never mind decided I should try some pre-natal vitimins this month and cut down on the coffee. I didn't use to drink coffee but seem to have taken a liking to it over the last few months. I can only try.

Orchard - Enjoy feeling positive while you are no matter what you need to have hope! Fingers crossed for you. Hey it's halloween is there a chance of the wicked witch getting lost on her broom stick and never coming to find you???

Eyemom - Good luck in your 2ww too, the first bit of the 2ww is a very boring part of the month.
Yes that was another thought on Lanets client that she was trying to trap the guy but I wouldn't have though any guy would fall for the "I'm pregnant routine" these days esp after using protection and with access to google and it wouldn't take long for him to come to the same conclusion as Orchard that if she is pregnant then it might not be his.
Hence it sounds more like a marriage of convience of some sort to me. However we could be completely wrong and she might just have been very lucky and fallen pregnant with man of her dreams who she's met once and used protection with and who had the religious conviction that its wrong to have a child out of wedlock and wishes to spare the ladies embarrasement blaa blaa blaa
I'm dying for the next update on that story.

 

[lanet]

Hi ladies. Happy Halloween! I went to acupuncture today. It was lovely and relaxing. I will see her again once before iui and then a week after. She will have me take "holding tea" and she said she thinks it increases chances by 35%. My dr said she doesn't believe there's an increase of chances with 2 iuis in a row so she recommends one. Which is ok with me, I'll just put my money back in my pocket lol. Cd8. Done with all of the meds. So nothing to report. Hope you're all doing well.

 

[eyemom]

Hi Ladies! Did your kids go trick or treating? We took our dd to a few houses...her first time out. She had a blast, but I think she had even more fun handing candy out to other kids who came to the door!

And YES orchid, where does the idea come from that to want #2 so badly somehow makes us less thankful for #1? Not at all. I think it's a lot what tommy said, people trying to look on the bright side for us.

A couple of weeks ago when we went to visit the friend with the new baby (the new baby has a big sister 6 mos younger than my dd), I totally expected to hear loads about wanting a little brother or sister from my daughter. But really she hasn't said much at all. Sometimes I think she just knows. One night...I can't remember what thread I posted this in so sorry if it's a repeat. Anyway, I was having a really lousy day (not just fertility stuff, but a bunch of things, not even sure what straw finally broke the camel's back). Finally I just cracked and I couldn't hold the tears in. DD asked what was wrong so I told her a little...including how I'm sad about our baby in heaven. She had me get in bed with her and she cuddled up to me and she told me I'd see her again someday. Brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

GL orchid, would be awesome if you got some great news in the next few days. I have had a few cycles where I had a really good feeling...and of course it hasn't turned out to be a bfp YET. But still...it was actually pretty fun thinking ahead about exciting things. And having a PMA can't hurt. So I think enjoy it and maybe you'll get a wonderful surprise.

I didn't tell my parents much about us TTC for #2, though I think everyone figures we are trying because everyone knows about my miscarriage over a year ago. But finally when I had my HSG and I had my parents watch DD, I told them. And yeah my mom had secondary infertility too, so I think she probably "gets it," though we haven't talked about it a lot. They wanted us 3 years apart and we are almost 5 years apart. Apparently infertility stuff was a bit different ~25 years ago because from what I've gathered, my dad had an SA that turned out normal, then my mom went straight to (??) laparoscopy and D&C. After that, she was put on the waiting list for not an RE but an obgyn who specializes in infertility (who later became my obgyn, the one I sadly recently switched away from due to insurance changes, never got to see her for this kind of stuff). Anyway, before her first appt with this OB, she finally became pregnant with my little brother. So I'm sure I could talk to my mom more...I just don't.

tommy I'm believing your DS will get a sibling! I think now that my DD is older, she'll be WAY into the big sister thing, more into feeling kicks in my belly, more into helping when the baby is here, more independent when I have to focus on a tiny one, etc. If my last pregnancy had resulted in a live baby, I think it would have been awesome when they got a little older. But when they're both small, I imagine it being really, really hard. Anyway, I'm sure your DS will be a fantastic big brother when the time comes too.

I can't bring myself to like coffee...guess it's just as well? But I have been really hooked on tea lately. :-/ I used to be more strict with myself about caffeine...but lately I can't shake the "why bother" attitude. :-/

Hi lanet. Glad you had a lovely and relaxing time at the acupuncturist. Sounds like a plan about just doing a single IUI, I was wondering what you found out about that. Fx you won't need that extra money for a second one and you can just save it for baby stuff!

Anyone lurking? *waves*

 

[lanet]

Well I come from the most fertile family ever, so they didn't get it at first. But I've finally let my mom in on the pain of it. At first she actually said "but you have a daughter, a great husband, and a nice house" and I had to explain that it does nothing to help the pain of wanting another baby. I was young when I had my dd. and I was in a bad relationship. Now I'm married to a wonderful man, he's a wonderful father to my dd, he even adopted her. I want this experience with him so bad. It would be so wonderful. I can't wait!

 

[IsaacRalph]

I can only echo what each of you girls have said about having another baby! Sorry I haven't been on here have my family visiting atm and house is full which is lovely! We live away from our family. I would've never thought we were only going to have one child, I was hoping for at least two maybe 3 children! Now I'd be over the moon with just another one. I come from a highly fertile family too!
Orchid, have you tested yet? Things sound very positive
Eye mom- did you say your past ovulation now? Good luck for your tww
There's been so much activity om here it's hard for me to read and remember all topics discussed but hi to all the other girls thinking about you.
Afm- side effects from meds started kicking in about 4 days ago feeling bloated, few headaches and my nipples are so sore also had some spotting! Well had scan yesterday at cd 10 and I've responded very well to the minimal dose meds I'm on and have 3 mature follicles so triggering tomorrow evening and going in for iui on Monday! Of course they gave us a low down on the risk factors ie risk of multiple but we're still going ahead. Need lots of baby dust girls!
Defo need some more bfps in here come on girls

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Good to hear from you Isaac - I was hoping everything was ok since you were being so quiet! That's fantastic news about how everything is going - sending lots and lots of fairy dust to you for Monday!

That's so nice to have your family staying. I live on the other side of the World from mine so I know how important it is. I LOVE having them here and you have to make the most of every minute.

I haven't tested yet - plan is to hold out til Monday if AF hasn't appeared. Not feeling quite so positive anymore....had a few twinges of back cramps yesterday evening and was also in a fairly cranky mood. Also a slight pain to the right of my belly button and I also have that 'feeling' that AF is just around the corner...will keep you posted if she appears On the positive side though I haven't had any spotting yet (despite getting that feeling that I have) and my bbs are still totally fine so we will see. I think I might have a bit of a bug though as been feeling off the last few days and today I am SUPER exhausted but I think that's from having such a busy day yesterday and being kept awake until midnight with fireworks going off followed by waking up at 6.30am!! Could totally go for a nap right now but house a disaster so need to get on with sorting that out!!

Talking about fertile families my mum had 3 children without evening trying and my sis got pregnant on her first month!!! I think I possibly am quite fertile (but I could be wrong) but as far as I am aware our problem is definitely MFI. Still hoping the Fertilaid will be a miracle worker and will be ordering the next bunch in a week. That being said I had a crap labour which resulted in a C-Sect so there is the chance of blocked tubes or scarring etc so really I have no idea about me anymore!!!!

We told our families after the 1 year TTC mark but my family pretty much knew as they knew we had been trying for a while. We had to tell DH's family cause they kept making comments about how it was time to have another one etc so I didn't want to deal with that anymore and also didn't want them to feel bad once they knew what was going on so we told them and of course they felt bad! That being said just a couple of weeks ago my FIL made a comment asking when are we having #2! Don't know what he was thinking!

Anyway hugs to you all - it's the weekend - Yay!!

Eyemom - your DD does so wonderful. What a beautiful thing to do

 

[eyemom]

Hey lanet does your mom understand better since you explained it to her? I found it to be a load off when I told my mom rather than keeping it in. Even though we still don't really talk about it. Sounds like you do have a really wonderful daughter and husband. Takes a special guy to step up and be a daddy and not just a step-father. It WILL be wonderful WHEN you three get to share this experience together.

Hiiii Isaac, good to see you! I hoped you were doing ok. Glad you're having a great time with family! Yes, I believe I'm past ovulation now, just wish I knew by how much! Don't know when to test or expect AF exactly. Maybe not knowing will help me not go nuts with the internet cheapies too soon, lol. That's GREAT news that you responded so well to the meds! Yayayayayay, so excited for you. Come oonnnnn baby/ies.

Sorry things aren't looking as positive for you anymore Orchid, but there's still hope. Hope you're not coming down with anything!

And thanks, I really am blessed with a super sweet DD. I edited my previous post b/c I caught a typo. Maybe you all caught my meaning even though I said it wrong, but it was my DD telling ME that I'd see her again someday. It kinda blew my mind to hear that from a 2.5 year old!

AFM...no news, boring part of TWW.

Fx and prayers for you all as always! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Well I finally caved! I have been feeling so off today and out of it and still no sign of AF and then I had a little creamy CM (sorry if TMI!) which I NEVER get so I went and bought a test....and it was a BFN. Not even a hint of a 2nd line

I'm actually ok - more just surprised as for the first time in almost 2 years I was beginning to really think I was pregnant. This 2ww has been completely different from every other one I have had but perhaps I just have a bit of a bug or a bit run down. Anyway on to the next month!

I hope you all have a great weekend x

 

[tommyg]

Hugs White rotten to see that BFN, hope you are ok.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Thanks Tommy!

I'm surprisingly ok - for now! I'm sure when AF starts I will be in a worse mood. It just goes to show though - you think you know your body but then it throws you a curve ball! I guess my sore bb theory is officially out of the window!!

 

[lanet]

Orchid it's still early, I know I know, but it could still happen! But I'm sorry for the bfn those are tough to see
Eyemom yes it's better since I broke down crying to my mom. She told me she just doesn't know the right thing to say and for me to tell her if it's wrong.
Isaac so excited about your follies and iui! I'll be right behind you. My right ovary is burning today, I hope it means I have more follies but not so many that they cancel me! And I want some on my left. I always seem to O from the right and sometimes I wonder if that's part of the issue. I cannot wait to find out Monday and get on with the iui. It's hard for me to schedule off work when I don't know which day it will happen. I'll just have to call and cancel clients I guess.

 

[IsaacRalph]

Orchid it's still early, I know I know, but it could still happen! But I'm sorry for the bfn those are tough to see
Eyemom yes it's better since I broke down crying to my mom. She told me she just doesn't know the right thing to say and for me to tell her if it's wrong.
Isaac so excited about your follies and iui! I'll be right behind you. My right ovary is burning today, I hope it means I have more follies but not so many that they cancel me! And I want some on my left. I always seem to O from the right and sometimes I wonder if that's part of the issue. I cannot wait to find out Monday and get on with the iui. It's hard for me to schedule off work when I don't know which day it will happen. I'll just have to call and cancel clients I guess.

Oooh yeah your having iui too! They almost canceled mine because ideally they'd like to see 1-2 follies for first iui but to be honest I was hoping for 2-3 so in my mind it was always going to be ok! Mine are all on my right side and I was thinking the worst after they counted 3 on my right and I truly expected to see some more on my left but ovary very quiet but he took about 15 mins making sure ( bloody uncomfortable). What cycle day are you on Monday? Lucky for me and dh we already had the day off so no rearranging needed! Good luck for Monday hun!
Orchid so sorry about your bfn it really does take the biscuit when each month pms symptoms change and convince you your pregnant! I try not too symptom spot but it's so hard. Thinking about uou xx its not too late yet
Eye mom- did you get plenty of bding in over ov time?its weird but me and dh haven't had sex for a while actually about 3 weeks just been busy and tired etc! I think we got so shagged out it sometimes became a chore we're just taking a well earned break. I fancy my husband crazy but with our hectic lives we are taking time out to simply relax, bliss!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Thanks Lanet

I totally understand about what happened with your mum. It's the exact sort of thing my Mum would say - just meaning the best and to look at the positives of what we have. I got upset recently because I was frustrated by the fact noone ever asks how I am or how we are getting on, but I realised it's more they don't want to ask if I'm going to be upset or like you said, don't know how to word things. Even my best friends who know what we are going through never ask but again I suspect they just don't know what to say or don't want to upset me and ask things that I might not want to talk about (or at least that they think I won't want to talk about!).

Anyway good luck for Monday as well - FX crossed for you!! Have a great evening

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Isaac -your last message totally made me laugh so much!!! Thank you for putting a smile on my face and good luck for Monday as well! Babydust to all!! x

 

[lanet]

Isaac I'm cd9 so I have the follie check on cd 12. I'm a late ovulater but I'm hoping I'll be ready by tues/wed. I only had 1 follie on my first iui. She will cancel if I have more than 4 but I would beg her anyway

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Well that's me officially out I have been awake most of the night with back cramps and spotting started this morning. I am SO fed up. I honestly just feel like giving up with TTC. I really thought this might be the month but I guess not

 

[tommyg]

Hugs Orchid, you got pregnant once not so long ago so their is no reason it can't happen again. Keep trying. With a bit of luck this month will be it for us all.
Can Santa bring BFPs and sticky beans??

 

[lanet]

I'm so sorry orchid retail therapy and chocolate helps me
Tommy forget Santa, i need a bfp before thanksgiving!! Lol I told my hubby that if I'm pregnant then I don't need anything for Christmas, but if I'm not..I'm going to need a lot of stuff!!!! Lol

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Thanks everyone! Feeling better now - I don't think the lack of sleep helped but DH & DS went out for a bit and let me go for a nap so feeling much better.

This cycle has definitely thrown me for a loop though! No normal tender bbs - just the odd sensitive almost burning twinge but inside (if that makes sense!), but then today with the spotting my bbs are killing me! More so around - like my bra is far too tight. So weird but I guess it just goes to show you just can't think about symptoms...when it's going to happen it will happen! Hopefully now I won't be symptom spotting anymore cause the one month I didn't have sore bbs still ended the same as all of the other months!

Anyway I hope you are all having a nice weekend. I might go and have a wander round some shops and perhaps a glass of wine with dinner tonight! Hugs to you all and thank you again so much for your support!