35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

Hello Chedge you are more than welcome to post here. I fully understand the problems of irregular cycles I'm fortunate that DH and I were both working away at the time location - odd but it worked until DH got a shift home before me.
Many of the ladies on this thread have been trying for 3 years too, 3 years for me in January.
Are you being monitored during your first cycle on clomid?

I'm half way through the 2ww with my second IUI having tried 6 rounds of letrozole / femara. At the moment I'm not feeling overly hopeful but that might be self preservation.
 
hi: Ladies
You have found an amazing bunch of ladies here on this thread! (not talking about me :haha:)

Chedge - ugh what a long three years for you... and trying to figure out the meds and the O... :wacko::wacko: I really hope you and the doc can figure out that magic combo and you get some well timed :sex: in!! FXFX
now about the temping... what kind of thermeter did you get - you need the one that reads out to the hundredths... like 98.06 - the BBT thermometer... Make sure you take your temp the same time every day, do not do ANYTHING before you take it (no peeing, no drinking, nothing) and they recommend taking it after 4 continuous hours (at the min) of sleep...
You can take it orally or Vaginally... depends on your preference just don't switch from one to the other in the same cycle...
I have to do V temps because I have severe sinus issues and am a mouth breather... so V temps are more accurate for me... Good luck and be sure to ask if you have questions... You can see my chart in my signature from Fertility friend...

:howdy: Srbjbex - I know all too well about :spermy: issues... My hubby's first SA was 0% morph... and the second was so bad they couldn't even do morphology testing!! :brat:
does your guy take a multi vitamin - my hubby took fertilaid for a while - and all though it made his libidio sky rocket (and he would only take 1 a day not the 3 it called for) - not sure I can say it helped his numbers... but the fertility urologist we talked to said not to worry about the morphology if the other numbers were good (which they were ok for us on the 1st SA - not so much the second - and we never did a third)
and since your are low - I would atleast get him on a multivitamin and boxers :thumbup:

Welcome to the thread ladies!! Sorry you are suffering with this crap like us - but love having you here :hugs:

tommy - I know you are in self preservation mode (as am I) but I am so hopeful for you this go around!!! FXFXFX

Hi Lanet, Eyemom, Cali and all you other lovelies!!

AFM: went to dr today for Progesterone check and he couldn't remember half my story - which was cute at the beginning but irritating now :growlmad:
he is willing to give me 3 more rounds of clomid - and I am ok with that... he had no words of wisdom for my 6 days of positive OPKs... :shrug: so I wait for my blood test results to see if I even ovulated... I have no P signs except sore boobs... so I am thinking I didn't...:shrug:
oh well love these christmas smileys!!!
:xmas8::xmas8::xmas8::xmas6::xmas6::xmas4::xmas4::xmas9::xmas9::
 
Hey ladies wanted to say hi to you all am trying to log in every now and again and catch up on with you all. Wanted to wish you all a very merry Xmas and a happy new year. Let's hope 2015 brings you all your long awaited bfps! Thinking about you all, all the time but life is so busy with the boys. Edward is nearly 5 months old and a beautiful boy and still successfully breastfeeding which I'm so happy about. Welcome to the thread to the new ladies secondary infertility does totally suck but it can be overcome eventually. Even more so as you have living proof you can carry a child. Any way good luck tommy and wish in your tww. Sorry i know I have missed more of you girls but will take time to have a proper catch up in the new year.
 
tommyg - thanks for your kind words. No, I was not monitored on my 1st round back on clomid. I had the bottle left over and there were refills for it, so I called and had it filled because Hubby was home for 2 weeks straight around Thanksgiving and will be home for around 3 weeks @ Christmas. I called my OB to see if they wanted me to be monitored, but the office was closed, so it was too late when they called back. They are going to monitor me this cycle on it though.

UGH!! The dreaded tww - I hate it. I just got finished with it from this cycle and I was so hopeful it worked since we had taken a break and the fact he was home and we were able to BD. I hope your tww wait turns out to be a :bfp:
 
tommyg - if you don't mind me asking, is IUI expensive where you are? My OB has never mentioned anything about us needing to try it, but I have been researching and want to talk to him about when I go in this cycle!
 
wishforanother1 - Yes, it has been a very long 3 year wait. It seems you know all about that too. I'm hoping with them monitoring me this cycle and DH being home for 3 weeks will help us with the timing.

It's just a flexible-tip digital basal thermometer. It says is registers in hundredths of degrees. Okay, so from what I've googled most people temp 1st thing waking up. So I should just keep in beside the bed and that be the first thing I do in the mornings? I've heard V temps are more accurate for a lot of women. I haven't really thought about how I should temp. I'm so new to the temping. Not really sure why I never tried that in the 3 years we have been ttc.

Thanks so much for your advice and well wishes. Sorry your appointment didn't go so well today. Hopefully you won't even need the next 3 rounds of clomid!!
 
chedge - yes keep it by the bedside and do it first thing in the morning...temping gives you so much information - and that can be a double edge sword...but I have learned after temping for over a year - I would rather know the info - than not know the info - it is really the only way I can know for sure that I ovulate (the temp shift) - my other signs just can't be counted on...
I hope that once you start temping you can get an even clearer picture of what your body is doing - and that knowledge helps you get that :bfp:!!!
 
Thank you so much for the lovely warm welcome! Its so nice to have people to talk to who know what we're going through.

Wish4another1 - thanks for your advice! Already got hubby on a multivitamin. ..went for one that includes Maca. He's also trying out some cooling patches (first day today) see how that goes.

We are guessing but we think OHs long commute in the car may be the problem so he's bought these patches he can wear in the car to try and keep the babymakers cool!

GP has referred us to the fertility clinic so we are just waiting for that appointment to come through when hopefully we will find out a bit more about recommendations and such.
 
Chedge - I was a temping addict! I did love it, although after a year of temping every day I've stopped now....especially as we now dealing with sperm issues. But id echo the other advice. Temp at same time every day, have the thermometer by your bed and make it routine that it is the first thing you do each morning when you wake!
 
Thanks ladies!! I'm going to give the temping a chance. I used to do OPK's like no other, but I got so disappointed after seeing negatives every month or getting the positive and DH not being home. He's 11 hours away from me too, so it's not like I can just get in the car and drive up there with me working full time and also having a child thats in school. I think that's why I never tried temping because I always felt like what's the point??? We can only have sex when he is home, so just hope for the best.

I'm definitely going to try it though since he will be home a lot during Christmas. The new year slows down for him too, so he usually starts working 4 on 3 off instead of 11-15 on and 3 off, so hopefully that helps!!!
 
Issac thanks for popping in. Good to hear from you. It doesn't seem 5 mths since he was born - or over a year since your BFP.

Wish I love your smillie guys they are fab and make me smile. Hugs Mrs. Docs are a nightmare they should take the 30 sec to read notes before seeing patients. However he's doing bloods and another 3 mths supply. Fingers crossed you don't need that many.

Chedge I'm currently being funded by NHS but I believe IUI is about £1k per round. IUI is as far as NHS will take me so it has to be worth a shot before dipping into our own money.
 
New ladies! Hi! I'll have to catch up later, but wanted to say hi, sorry you're in this boat, but welcome. I'm pretty sure this is one of the best threads on bnb. Lovely ladies and always supportive. <3
 
Hi ladies, I wondered if I could join you in here?

Wish4Another1 kindly posted the link to this thread in my post in LTTTC.

Here's my story ......

I am 36 (DH is 35) and we have a son who is 3 1/2. I fell pregnant with him in 2011 after 5 months of TTC'ing. During my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and he was induced at 36 weeks which ended in an emergency c-section.

In 2012, i fell pregnant again after 10 months TTC'ing and unfortunately I lost the baby at 8 weeks and that was when I stopped coming here. It was too much for me reading about everyone's BFPs and after my MC everything was so raw and numb. I blamed myself (and still do), and I don't think I have ever gotten over it properly. I wanted that baby so so much!

Anyway, DH didn't want to start trying properly again straight away, I think he was scared that I would lose another and so although we weren't preventing anything happening, we didn't actively try for a year either. I didn't use any OPKs or chart during that time, but I did watch CM etc and in secret from my DH would take HPTs hoping that just maybe there would be a line. There never was!

2013 comes around and late last year we decide to start trying for another baby. By then I had been having symptoms that my endo had come back and in February this year, I had another lap to blast away endo and some adhesions (I previously had one in 2006 for the same thing).

Since last year, I have been using OPKs again and noting all my symptoms of OV and checking CM etc. This month typically, I forgot to buy some and its been a really weird month so I have absolutely NO idea where I am in my cycle as I've had 2 lots of EWCM and today is now my longest cycle ever with no sign of AF! I've been testing with ICs for a few days and am just getting BFNs so the witch is on her way, I just wish she would bloody hurry up so we can start planning for next year.

I ended up at my GP yesterday afternoon with such excruciating pain in my left ovary (that was where the endo was in Feb) and although she was lovely and has referred me back to gynae, she was of no help other than to do a HPT and tell me it was negative and to take paracetamol :dohh:

Once the witch arrives, it will be month 14 of actively trying for baby number 2 and 26 months since my MC.

I don't know what could be causing the secondary infertility. It could be my diabetes, it could be problems caused by my endo (although when they were in there in February, the surgeon said everything looked healthy) or it could be nothing and it's just taking longer this time. All I know is it's so very frustrating.

I have considered temping from next month, but I don't sleep very well and I'm not really sure that it would work? Maybe some of you could advise me on that.

I am going onto an insulin pump in around March next year which will hopefully help regulate my blood sugars, although I do have pretty good control of it at the moment, it's more for the long term benefits to my health.

So, thats it really. I was considering going to my GP after the hols and asking about getting tests done, but DH isn't keen. He doesn't think we've been trying long enough yet.
 
Just wanted to stop in and say hello :-) hope everyone is doing well. I'm doing okay. Excited for Christmas. Having a hard time recently being good with diet with all the Christmas treats I'm making! Anyways. Hope everyone is well.
 
:hi: Ladies :xmas8:

Welcome Mooshie - I am so glad you decided to hop on over and join us... there are lovely ladies here - all in different stages of secondary infertility - some have their little peanuts in their arms and some are still trying... but all are so supportive!!! :hugs:

Braven - the best weight loss plans get sidelined during the holidays... don't be too hard on yourself!! When I go to family get togethers I don't waste stomach space on food I can eat every day (mashed potato's, salads, etc) I eat that yummy stuff that I only get this time of year (and lots of desserts!! :haha: But I know once this time is gone - I will get back on the exercise/eating right band wagon!!!
You have lots to be proud of - so keep you chin up lady!!! :hugs:

Isaac!! soo good to hear from you!! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas/New Years!! :flower:

:howdy: to everyone else...

AFM: nothing... another crappy temp this morning... :shrug:
back to Christmas smilies!!! Why? cause they make me smile...
:xmas10::xmas9::xmas7::xmas3::xmas6::xmas17::xmas21:
 
Hi ladies. Just wanted to update that we had a concerning ultrasound yesterday. We are being sent to a hospital 3 hours away to spend the night and monitor baby girl more closely. Also do an echocardiogram on her. Her heart rate was up to 280 during most of the scan yesterday. They rescanned a little while later and it was back to normal. Not sure what's going on but very scared. They said they would normally give me heart medinnce for her, but in this case the other baby would get it too so they aren't sure what to do.
 
Lanet - <3<3<3<3<3<3 280!!! wow that is high... but hang in there... Thank goodness for medicine today that they caught it and they can do more detailed scans and find out if anything is wrong or it was a fluke... I know you must be scared!!!! I will be praying for you and your little ones!! :hugs2:
 
Hi ladies, please could I join you here too? I stopped coming on bnb a few months ago as I was not sure where abouts on the forum I fitted in and other than this thread the secondary infertility area seems pretty quiet. My story is.....

I came off the pill in may 2011 and started ntnp. Nothing happened so in October that year we started ttc properly and got a bfp first month. My dd was born in July 2012 and is now 2.5. Last October 2013 we started ttc for no 2 and again I got my bfp first cycle! Sadly I started bleeding just before my 12 week scan in January this year and found out the baby had died at 7.5 weeks.

We started ttc straight after the mmc and as I had got pregnant so quickly the last two times, I didn't think it would take long. Well here I am just short of a year on and no bfp!! My blood tests came back normal and confirmed I am ovulating, hubby sperm analysis was normal and a hycosy confirmed my one tube is clear and working. There is no 'medical' reason I am not concieving. I still believe though that some thing is wrong. Each month after I ovulate I get pain in one breast, by 8dpo I get lower back pain that can be chronic, I get mouth ulcers and my immune system can be crap during the tww. Af arrives on 11dpo after a day or so spotting.

I think I might have low progesterone but my dr and the private fertility clinic I have been to maintain nothing is stopping my getting pregnant and to keep trying. I have tried; Agnes castus, soy isoflavines, various supplements and ttc vitamins, acupuncture, reflexology and herbs. I have used opts and temps and have cycles of doing nothing but regular sex.

As you ladies know, it is soul destroying. Most of my friends are now onto baby no 2 and I feel very left behind. I wanted a years maternity off with my dd before she starts school but if I don't get pregnant next cycle, she will go to school before I am due back at work after maternity. I wanted a 2 year age gap and now it will be over 3 years. I feel sick, sad, desperate, devastated, I want to hide, I desperately want someone to help me. I am not coping very well and I need people who completely understand to talk to and keep me sane.

I plan to pay privately for ivf in march or April next year if nothing has happened by then, although I am terrified it wouldn't work. The success rates are so low!

I haven't back read at all, except to see your post lanet, I am so sorry you have had such worrying news but praying that all will be ok with your baby girl and that after monitoring a solution can be found. Thinking of you.

Everyone else, I look forward to getting to know you all.

Happy Christmas everyone
Mrs w xxx
 
Mrs W - welcome! I am so sorry for your loss... :hugs:
you will find a bunch of supportive ladies here to help you on your journey...

I find that no one else but these ladies understand how hurtful the "atleast" sentences are - atleast you have your other child, atleast you have your OH... yes I do but it doesn't change my heart about having another child...

anyway... since we have several new ladies I will do a quick run down of my journey...
I am 41 my DH is 40 we have been together 13 years married since 30 March 2013... I have a DD that is 23 and a DD that is 18. My DH has no children...
we have been actively trying since our wedding night. with not even a hint of a BFP. We were referred to an RE in our area and saw him in August of 2013. He pushed donor eggs and IVF before we had any tests!! took blood from me and I have a traumatically low AMH .16 (on US scale) did an SA for DH and he had a good count, (260 million) mediocre mobility (40%) but 0% morphology - so next meeting with RE was a total push for IVF with donor eggs. My DH said absolutely not and we will never see that doctor again - of course he is the only local RE there is:cry: in April I go see a new OB/GYN and I have a HSG (left tube blocked - right tube clear) and DH does another SA - new SA was HORRIBLE 3 million, 7% motility and they didn't even do morph... fertility urologist thinks the second test is a fluke but we never did another SA... it is too stressful on DH and really if we aren't doing IVF or IUI why? so I went back to Ob.GYN and he prescribed me clomid - I am on cycle 3 of clomid - the clomid has done amazing things for my cycles - no spotting etc (except this one its wonky) OB said yesterday he will only give 3 more cycles at that time we will be done I guess...
so anyway - thats my story... still hoping and praying God gives us a baby together... [-o&lt;[-o&lt;

and I love these darn smileys!!! :haha:
 
Okay, wow! Lots of new people! I'm going to try to catch up.

Wish - did you get your progesterone numbers?

Srbjbex - Hi there! Yes, secondary infertility is sooo frustrating (to say the least). I know I never saw it coming, maybe that adds to the sting. Glad all is well with your hormones, and seems like male factor issues can often be addressed. The journey sure is rough though. Big hugs to you...hope you get your bfp soon. I'm staying positive! It'd be awesome if the cooling patches made all the difference and you didn't even have to go to the fertility clinic. But it's good that that ball is rolling anyhow....

chedge - Hi and welcome to you as well. Ugh, glad your OB is finally listening to you, but geez seems like with that level of pain there should be some explanation. So sorry you're dealing with that, but thankful the lap came out okay. Sorry AF got you this time...stings even more when you have that glimmer of hope.

Seems like you've already gotten lots of great advice about temping. I don't know if this is something that goes without saying, but I'd recommend doing your charting on fertilityfriend.com. That will take care of some of the brainier stuff automatically, though you can tinker with it once you have the hang of it. Seems like it had some charting lessons, too. I don't know if your thermometer does this, but mine keeps the last temp I took. So if there was a day I could sleep in more than usual, I could still take my temp at the usual time without waking up all the way, then I could look at my temp again later to record it. I became a big fan of temping. I liked doing temps and OPKs together to get the bigger picture. OPKs tell you when ovulation should be imminent, but temping tells you if it actually happened and maybe some other clues, too. Also, if it turns out that the timing hasn't been the issue, if you can prove (with charting) that you've gotten your timing right enough times, then maybe your doctor will be more helpful. It makes things feel a little clinical sometimes, but it is such a valuable tool. Anyway, I'm hopeful for you this cycle!

tommy, still got everything crossed for you, [-o&lt;

Hi Isaac!

Mooshie - Hi and welcome. I know how it feels to be on here after a loss. There are a lot of threads about TTCAL but not a lot of LTTC after loss. So I'd be in the TTCAL threads and it's like I'd forget over and over that they weren't infertility threads. I'd see woman after woman get a bfp with her rainbow, and I'd be happy for them, but gutted for myself. I've also struggled with blaming myself for my loss, but, while I don't know your story (I'm not asking you to share if you don't want to), it's extremely likely that it had nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do. Doesn't really seem sufficient to say that it's "bad luck," but sometimes the statistics are just not in our favor. :cry: So sorry for your loss, and while I know we never really "get over it," I hope you can find a way to push through and not be too hard on yourself. I know you desperately wanted that baby, and you'd never do anything, especially not deliberately, to jeopardize that. Big hugs. Sorry it's hard when there are no real answers. Not sure about the temping, but I suppose you can try it and see if you get any sort of pattern. I temped when I had luteal phase insomnia and also when I was getting up at night with a 1 year-old. It wasn't ideal, but I was able to get the gist and still get cross hairs. Your results may vary, but you never know. I kinda still hope AF just stays away, but if she's around the corner, I hope she just gets it over with for you!

Hi Braven :hugs: I think you should be allowed to have one treat anyway! As long as one treat doesn't make you fall off the wagon. Hang in there, you're doing great.

Lanet - oh lanet, big big hugs and many many prayers. Glad they found it and are keeping close tabs on you and your LOs. Can't imagine how scared you must feel. Please keep us posted as you're able.

Hi Mrs W - Welcome. Your sn sounds familiar, but I don't know if I remember seeing you around or if I'm just confused. Wow I feel like I can really relate to your story. I also got pregnant easily with my angel baby, so I also never fathomed I'd have trouble getting pregnant again. My tests and DH's all came back normal, too. Though while I had a few odd cycles here and there, I had no consistent symptoms that would make me think something was amiss. My heart goes out to you because it is so so hard seeing people all around you who have just want you want--and almost had. We wanted a 2 year age gap, too. We now have a 3 year, 9 month age gap. And while there are some things that are really great about it now, it's hard to really focus on the positives because it feels like I'm saying there's a plus side to the miscarriage or something. While I'd undo the mc in an instant if I could, I can say, when you look at your rainbow baby, you won't be able to imagine your life without THAT baby.

AFM, I'm more or less copy/pasting my introduction from a while back since not much has changed since then. ;) But here's my story for anyone who's new:

I'm 32. I got pg with my DD1 in 2010 on our 8th cycle of trying. So long enough for me to start to worry, but not long enough to suggest that something was really wrong. I'd been charting most of that time because I wanted to be ahead of the game just in case there was an issue, and my charts looked good at least. We wanted our kids to be 2 years apart, and I conceived again on our 2nd cycle of trying that time. My DD1's birthday was Feb 23, and that due date was Feb 24, 2013, so 2 years and 1 day apart. Seemed so perfect. However, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. After conceiving so easily that time though, I was confident I'd get pregnant again. Meanwhile, I had to change doctors because of a change in our insurance (I'm in the US). I loved my old obgyn and, while not an RE, she was an expert in fertility issues. But I never got to see her about it because by the time I'd been trying long enough to know there WAS a problem, I had to find a new doctor. Thankfully by the time I got to see him, I had a year or so worth of charts and he agreed that they looked perfectly normal, with maybe one weird month. I had a couple of blood tests done right away: prolactin and TSH. They were both normal. He wanted DH to have an SA before doing anything else. DH had SA, he's a rock star. I felt even crappier and confused that even THAT sperm couldn't get me pregnant. Next I had an HSG to make sure my tubes were clear, and they that came out perfect as well. Tried for 3 more cycles after that to see if fertility was enhanced following that test, but no luck. Then I started on Clomid, kind of as a booster because I for sure ovulated fine on my own, and I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle of clomid (cycle 21 after my m/c). Never found out why I couldn't get pregnant, and while I'm super thankful there was a solution, I still really would like to know what the problem was. I just had my second daughter on November 5. I stick around because I love these ladies plus I want to cheer you all on.

When there are multiple new ladies at around the same time, it takes me some time to keep your stories straight. :blush: So bear with me, I'll get to know you! <3
 

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