38, TTC for 2 years, feeling down

[FutureBaby]

Hi everyone,

My husband and I met late in life and took our time to get married. That's kind of how we roll. We're both people who take our time with things and then commit hard.

We've been ttc since our wedding night and after 2 years ... no prego.

We got all of the routine fertility testing and there was no reason for our infertility. The doctors were pretty hostile and actively discouraging.

There are constant controlling and shaming messages out there for women around pregnancy. It makes this whole thing a lot worse.

I thought I would join this forum and maybe get some positive support.

We just started using an OPK this cycle. I've been monitoring my CM and BBT. Everything looks normal except there's not a lot of EWCM and I have short cycles (25 days), but they're regular.

I guess I'm here to hear a kind word and feel like less of a weirdo for wanting to start a family past the acceptable age.

I keep feeling like if it hasn't happened yet, it never will.
I feel guilty about being older instead of younger than my husband.
I feel frustrated with my body.

Any words of wisdom?

 

[Tenacity76]

Sorry you're feeling down, I know ttc can feel like torture some days. We've been trying for our 2nd child after a 3 year break. It took us 2 and a half years to get pregnant with our son. He's our miracle. I'm sending hope and positivity your way that u will have a little miracle of your own soon! Eat well, sleep well, take your vitamins and above all try to find something positive everday.

 

[Pothole]

Are you seeing an RE? If my doctor was hostile or discouraging, I'd be changing doctors.

 

[Eleonora]

Past the acceptable age! Are you kidding? I never got that attitude from anyone but I got a lot of co-workers and family hinting that I needed to get on with things as the years went by. Picture this for a minute: you get pregnant, have a wonderful, joyous, youth-restoring pregnancy, have a baby at age 39, wait a year and then decide to try for a second at age 40. Guess how young 38 seems suddenly.
On a more serious note, 2 years TTC is tough. If you've had everything checked out and are paying attention to your cycles with temping, etc, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Hang in there! To some extent it is just a statistics game, a roll of the dice. Any cycle could be your lucky cycle.

 

[Vonn]

I agree with the others that 38 is not too old to have a child and be a wonderfully engaged...not to mention appreciative...parent! That said, out eggs don't always cooperate. It is really hard emotionally. Every cycle is a fresh start and a new opportunity, but that means every cycle can also be heartbreaking.

So you've had all the tests done, that's good. Including progesterone, I hope, as that can tend to go down around your age. Once TTCing I discovered a thyroid problem, which is a tricky one for some to sort out (me included), but for others, it's start meds one month and, boom, pg the next.

I assume DH's sperm checked out okay? Have you tried any of the vits and supplements that help for some? Stuff like vitex chaste berry, maca, red clover blossom, red rasp leaf tea, CoQ10, B complex vit, vit e, and others. Acupuncture & chinese herbs can help, too. Fertility yoga is good for body and mind!

Are you considering any assisted reproductive techniques? Meds, IUI, IVF? Those are the big guns with the best results, but the cost is high if you don't have coverage.

Don't feel hopeless, there are many, many ladies who get pregnant at your age and beyond! But do honor and recognize the fact that this is really hard and it's okay to get frustrated and down sometimes. I read somewhere that the stress of infertility can match the stress experienced by those with cancer. That was validating for me to know, like it was okay that this TTC journey was completely overwhelming sometimes. DHs can be the absolute best & more supportive, but they still don't really know what it's like for us, when it's our bodies.

GL to you, and to all of us!!