4 year old turned into a nightmare at bedtime - help please x

[trudie100]

Hi ladies

I know this isn't actually 'being pregnant' related but I am 26 weeks pregnant and my 4 year old has suddenly become a nightmare at bedtime so just looking for some advise or to see if anyone else has been through anything similar

My 4 year old has always been a great sleeper, he goes down at 730 with a book and a cuddle and usually sleeps all night until about 7. He might wake up occasionally for a wee or a drink but 9 times out of 10 we dont hear from him all night.

Now the last couple of weeks all of that has changed. He's going down fine still and sleeping solidly until early hours of the morning & then he's coming in to my bed for a cuddle/asking to sleep with us/asking us to get in with him/saying he's had a bad dream/needs a wee/a drink.... any excuse to be awake basically!

We got into a bad habit when he was younger of getting in with him for a cuddle if he woke in the night so i'm really keen to avoid that so every time he wakes I've just been taking him back to bed, tucking him in and telling him to go to sleep. But within 10-15 mins he's calling me again 'mummy, mummy'.... I've tried ignoring him (and he just comes back into my room again) and I've tried going back in to re-settle him but nothing seems to work.

Im finding that I'm getting really cross with him and I've tried refusing to get out of bed to take him back to he's room and made him go back by himself (which he did) but he was still back in my room again within half an hour and the more i kept putting him back the more upset he got

Im finding it really hard to not give in and just give him a cuddle in he's bed or to let him get in with us but I'm 6 months pregnant and theres going to be a new born in the cot next to my bed soon so i cant really be dealing with him in my bed too or with getting up and down all night to him & the baby!

Im really hoping its just a phase and that it'll stop on its own soon... Im also wondering if expecting he's baby sister could be playing a part in why he wants to get in with us suddenly. Maybe seeing the cot next to the bed has affected him without me realizing

The last couple of nights I've given in and got in with him and even then he's not settled properly and has either woken up by the time I've got out of he's bed or he's gone off and still been back in my room within 20 mins !

How would you deal with this or has anyone been through anything similar?

 

[campn]

It sounds just like sleep regression which lasts few weeks but he should be back to normal. You need to be very consistent with him though even though it can be so tempting to let him get his way when you're sleep and tired, but like you said with a new born it's the last thing you need right now.

He could just be already feeling jealous too. Maybe trying cuddling on the couch before or after dinner and have that cuddling time there instead? Just don't let it become the bed time habit or in your bedroom.

It's harder to deal with this age cause you can't just do cry it out or leave them in their crib where they can't climb down, but I think talking to him about may help. Just tell him we can cuddle any time and anywhere but not in mommy's bed at night.

Sorry Hun I hope he goes back to sleeping again.

 

[trudie100]

It sounds just like sleep regression which lasts few weeks but he should be back to normal. You need to be very consistent with him though even though it can be so tempting to let him get his way when you're sleep and tired, but like you said with a new born it's the last thing you need right now.

He could just be already feeling jealous too. Maybe trying cuddling on the couch before or after dinner and have that cuddling time there instead? Just don't let it become the bed time habit or in your bedroom.

It's harder to deal with this age cause you can't just do cry it out or leave them in their crib where they can't climb down, but I think talking to him about may help. Just tell him we can cuddle any time and anywhere but not in mommy's bed at night.

Sorry Hun I hope he goes back to sleeping again.

Thanks hun, really hoping its just a regression and not a permanent thing. Its been going on a couple of weeks already though .....

I really am considering crying it out but was wondering if 4 is too old to do this, I mean he can get out of bed. But I am debating just putting him back every single time and not talking etc... and letting him cry if he does. I think it might take 10000 times of putting him back before he gives in though as he can be soooo stubborn at bed time.

I really don't know what to do for the best

I tried putting him back and letting him cry when it first started and then after a while OH was moaning for me to go and see to him as he had to be up for work at silly o clock the next day (which I do understand), its going to be hard to let him cry all night when my OH is working 7 days a week at the minute x

 

[campn]

With my son it lasted 3 horrible weeks, but he was around 2 years, and I let him cry it out for a few minutes, go in (not talking at all) then leave then so on. They just have to learn that mommy isn't changing her mind so soon they'll be like oh well then I might as well sleep.

The next day just give him lots and lots of love and cuddles, just to reward him for sleeping and make him know that mommy isn't abandoning him, but we all just need to sleep.

Def get DH on your side of things as his support will be helpful to you when he doesn't keep telling you no go get him.