45 and Pregnant...WHAT???

[mommylam]

I can relate to the doom and gloom. I swear I have felt like my doctor has expected this pregnancy to fail from the beginning. All my numbers have been good but everytime SHE does an ultrasound it's like she expects it to be bad.

They did my first one before 6 weeks and found only an empty sac. Since I've had a blighted ovum I was pretty stressed out for a few days but fairly certain they had brought me in too early. My HCG levels were great so I got booked for a scan in High Risk. At 6 +3 I saw my baby and it's heartbeat and I got to hear it.

Then my doctor books me back in her office for another scan. I tell her about my spotting where she chooses not to offer any comfort at all and then proceeds to do my scan and tell me that things look bad and that the baby has no heartbeat and there's no movement. She measures the baby and tells that it is only measuring at 8 weeks and I'm supposed to be 9 weeks 2 days.

Anyhow, she continues looking around and then says.....well look there....I see the Heartbeat! I'm like excuse me? Regardless didn't you just say that everything looked bad and that baby was measuring under by 9 days? She's like...well let's check again! Well baby measured spot on and fluid was good and Hb was good. Doctor said that my scar tissue from my previous c-sections gave her a bad angle.

Well that's lovely....that you were so confident that my pregnancy was over and turns out to be a bad angle.......WTH!!!!!

Anyhow, I ask that all my future ultrasounds be done in high risk. I was told at my last appointment that my doctor would be doing another one next week at my OBGYN appointment....but I'm sure that she's not touching me again!!!

Anyhow, that's my story!!! Sometimes they see things so often that they forget each of us are people with real feelings. She kept referring to the baby as an embryo too....which I get that it is technically but calling it that and telling me that it died....doesn't make it easier...it made me feel like it just didn't matter!

Well all is well with my little bean and I think as long as I stay away from her doing ultrasounds......I'll stop being scared too death!!!!

 

[Dorian]

Mommylam, can you get a different Dr?? That is so terrible, I would hate to have to see her.

 

[oldmamamia]

well done, wishing you much love and luck xxxxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

annemarie and mommylam -- I had an mc at age 41 (August 2009) and was 43 (now 44) when I conceived this little fellow and so far, so good! My GP and consultant ob/gyn (we went private in Ireland due to serious problems at public hospital) have been nothing but positive, encouraging and absolutely delighted with this pregnancy and we are just starting to relax (a little, not much, but a little)....

GET ANOTHER DOCTOR - you need support and compassion for the good and bad parts of pregnancy! Yes, there is a higher risk of mc, of abnormalities and other problems, but there are also many women at 41, 42, 43, 44 and 45 who have healthy, normal babies! Incidentially, vintage had her little one a few days ago, so there's another 44 year old with a healthy little one!

best wishes

 

[vintage67]

I switched doctors over this very thing! I had been with that ob for almost 20 years. He grew more cold and heartless with each MC (we had 3 over a 2 year period). Finally, he behaved so horribly when I went in pregnant with this baby that I left the office nearly hysterical. My endocrinologist, for my diabetes, had always been encouraging about helping me maintain a pregnancy, so I asked him for a recommendation. I also knew a pregnant 41 year old in our neighborhood and called and got the name of her doctor. I went with the one my endo suggested and it made all the difference!

I was so tired of being treated like a 14 year old who found herself knocked up and didn't have a clue what "odds" I was facing! We knew the risks of trying to conceive at an older age, but we also knew the numbers were still on our side.

Best wishes to you. Our baby was born a week ago yesterday. He did come early, due to my BP, and he has had some blood sugar/feeding issues, but he is in overall good health.

 

[mommylam]

I can see a different doctor. This office is full of doctors and you just kind of get who you get. Oddly enough I loved her when she delivered my son and felt that she was the most compassionate doctor ever. I've been so confused as to what is different this time....especially since she encouraged me to go ahead and have another baby telling me she had her last one when she was 41 because I was scared since I'd had a previous loss already.

I'm going to talk to her on Tuesday and make my decision from there.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement and so glad to hear about the good outcomes!!!!

 

[bubbywings]

Congratulations to you! Best wishes and prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy!

 

[Sparkly222]

Congratulations TJ - everything crossed for you. I'm 42 next week and 15 weeks pregnant. This wasn't planned and the odds were against us....but I'm absolutely delighted!

This has, however, been a roller coaster ride for me from the day I found out I was pregnant - negative statistics, not so supportive partner to begin with, NT blood results putting me at high risk (amnio booked for next week)....but I am happy and I am staying positive that my little one will be just fine. My partner is 51 with 3 grown up kids and I have a 9 year old son. At my first scan - just 6 weeks - they couldnt see a heart beat, but at 8 weeks they could see one. Hang in there. Wishing you lots of luck xxx Sparkly

 

[Garnet]

This how I felt when I went to the Doctor and Fertility Doctor:

I was so tired of being treated like a 14 year old who found herself knocked up and didn't have a clue what "odds" I was facing! We knew the risks of trying to conceive at an older age, but we also knew the numbers were still on our side.

 

[mumoffive]

Well i have had three viable pregnancies since from the ages of 38-43!!! I just had my dd back in late May at 43 and had NO issues. Dont be put off and dont let it spoil your pregnancy. I had one chemical pregnancy and concieved my dd 3 months later naturally. Statistics are just statistics and there are many variations inbetween. I concieved my older dd one month after being on the pill for 18years! I concieved my ds within the same amount of time and i was 40! If i were to go by statistics, concieving so easily wouldnt have been possible. Congratulations and enjoy every minute. x